20

IAN

Illea and I slept on her room that night. Nagising lang kami noong makarinig kami ng kalabog sa kanyang pintuan. I groaned and covered myself in her sheets before sleeping again.

"Turn off those lights Illea, darn." Reklamo ko. I heard her giggle. She shook my arms and removed the hair covering my face.

"Ian, they're here."

"Who's here?" I said angrily. Who on earth would disturb us? Ang aga aga pa eh. Nakakainis naman. We were having the time of our lives—we just forgave each other---tapos may istorbo...

"Ma." Illea greeted. Mama was leaning on Papa's shoulders while both of them were looking at us as if we were two aliens. Illea scooted closer and wrapped her arms around me.

"Prinsesa ko." Papa's voice broke. He walked towards us and sat at the edge of Illea's bed. Niyakap namin siya pabalik habang si Mama ay naiwan lamang nakatayo sa pintuan. Kinalabit ako ni Ate bago nginuso si Mama.

I nodded. Naintindihan ko ang nais niyang gawin ko.

I extend my arms towards Mama before I smiled. "Ma." I said. a tear fell from her eyes before she walked towards us.

"G-goodmorning, mga anak." She said while touching both of our cheeks.

"Goodmorning." Papa said. He pulled us closer to him. Illea and I laid our heads on his shoulders.

"Goodmorning." My sister answered. Pumikit ako at tumango.

Yeah, surely... it is a wonderful morning.

Noong almusal na ay todo asikaso si Mama at Papa sa amin at sa mga anak ko. Neron was sitting on Papa's lap while eating his favorite Honey Stars. Nahuhulog pa iyong gatas sa bibig niya pero wala pa rin siyang tigil sa pagkain.

"Papsi!" Chasin called Papa while giving him a spoonful of Honey Stars. Binuka ni Papa ang bibig niya para kainin iyon noong bigla na lamang inagaw ni Chase iyon at sinubo kay Mama na nasa tabi niya.

"Chasin!" bawal ko. Tumawa lamang ang anak ko bago binigyan ulit si Papa. This time, itinuloy na niya ang pagsubo rito.

Bryant was silently eating his food on my lap. Pinupunasan ko ang mukha niya noong hawakan ni Mama ang kamay ko.

"Ian, anak.."

Tiningnan ko siya. She squeezed my hand tightly before looking at my children. Iyong isa niyang kamay ay inabot naman si Ate.

"Babawi ako sa inyong dalawa. Lahat ng pagkukulang ni Mama, pupunuin niya. I will love you the way you deserve to be loved. I will love your children too. I promise, mga anak." Naiiyak niyang sabi. I smiled and nodded my answer.

"Mamsi, don't cry." Bryant said. Natawa si Mama at doon nawala ang luha sa mata niya.

"Yes baby, Mamsi will never cry now. No one is going to cry again, right August?" anas ni Mama. Ngumiti si Papa at tumango.

"Opo Shanang ko. Magmula ngayon, wala ng Yturraldeng iiyak sa bahay na ito." Sagot ni Papa. I silently brushed my tears and faced Bryant who is eating again.

-----------------------

ROME

I opened the gates of the Yturralde's only to see Illea watering the flowers. Her curls are slowly coming back. She is slowly coming back.

"Hey!" tawag ko sa kanya. I was greeted by her big doe eyes before she smiled at me.

"Hey. Nasa loob si Ian, pinapaliguan ang mga bata."

Ibinaba ko iyong dala kong cake. "I'll wait here."

Tumango siya. Pinatay niya ang waterhose bago umupo sa aking harapan. She was beaming with joy, her eyes has that special shine again. Tumikhim ako bago ko kinuha ang kamay niya.

"I am really, really sorry Illea." Anas ko. Tumango lamang siya at hinila ang kamay niya.

"I will never forgive you Rome." Aniya. Dumagundong ang dibdib ko sa kaba. W-why? What?

She gave me a naughty smile, iyong klase ng ngiti niya noong mga bata pa kami kapag may ginagawa siyang kalokohan o kaya ay kapag tinatago niya ang suklay sa bahay nila.

"Not unless you make my sister happy. And not just happy Kristoffer Rome. I mean, fucking happy. Like happy happy." Makulit niyang sabi. Hindi ko napigilan ang matawa sa sinabi niya. She was laughing so hard too when Ian came out. Napatitig siya sa aming dalawa, iyong tingin niya ay palipat lipat sa aming dalawa.

"Uhm, sorry.." anas niya.

"Baby, come here." Tawag ko sa kanya. Ian stopped on her tracks. Tumayo na ako at hinila siya para umupo sa aking tabi. I want her here. I want her to see how much I wanted to have her sister's forgiveness. I will try my best to fix everything that I have ruined, and by everything I mean Illea and Ian.

"We were just talking about you Ian." Anunsyo ni Illea. Tumaas ang kilay ko noong magkangitian silang dalawa. Ian sat beside me before putting her hands on my leg.

"Did you apologize already Falcon?" her sharp tone made me shiver. Tumango ako.

"Y-yeah bab—"

"Shit Falcon. Under ka pala?" Illea joked. I opened my mouth to speak but Illea raised her hand and high fived Ian.

"Good job Ian." Anas niya pa. I just shook my head and kissed the top of Ian's hair.

"Wala eh. Mahal ko lang talaga." Sabi ko. Natigilan si Ian sa narinig ko. Illea smiled before nodding.

"Wow. You can finally say it huh?" she said. Kinuha ko ang kamay ni Ian na nasa hita ko bago siya tinitigan.

"I'm still shaking when I say it but I'm better now." Sagot ko. Tinitigan ni Ian ang kamay kong nanginginig bago niya ako takang tiningnan.

"W-why?"

Huminga ng malalim si Illea bago ako sinipa. "You didn't tell her yet?"

"Tell me what?" Ian asked, dumbfounded. Huminga ako ng malalim bago ko hinigpitan ang hawak ko sa kanya. I am afraid that if she learns the truth she will run from me. Na baka tama si Mrs. Castro, wala talagang magmamahal sa maduming katulad ko.

Huminga ako ng malalim. No, Rome. If you really wanted to fix this, then you have to let her learn the truth. Let the past go. Just..let go of the bad side and hold on to Ian.

Dahil kahit ano mang maging desisyon niya pagkatapos, hinding hindi ko na siya papakawalan. Magkamatayan na pero sa akin si Ian hanggang sa huli.

Nilingon ko si Illea na nakatitig sa aming dalawa. She nodded and that gave me the assurance that I could go on, I should go on.

I have to go on. If I really want to have Ian once more, I have to go on.

"Illea made me feel safe Ian. Amindao akong sa simula pa lang ay may nararamdaman na ako para sayo. I saw you when you were crying in your room at the middle of the night because your mother rejected you or when you try to sneak out because of your races. But I was not able to face those feelings because I was scared."

Lumunok ako at muling tiningnan si Ian na nakatitig na sa akin. I opened and clenched my fists to calm myself. Happy thoughts Rome. Just happy thoughts. You can do it.

Hinawakan ni Ian ang nanginginig kong kamay bago niya ako nginitian. And fuck it, but I just love this woman so much. I just love her so much.

"Kapag si Illea ang kasama ko, nawawala iyong takot ko na hindi ako mamahalin dahil nga mahal niya ako. With her, I am safe. With her, all the past threats were gone. Kaya siya ang pinili ko dahil sa kanya, hindi ako mababalik sa nakaraan ko. But Ian.. I-I didn't know that you love me too at that time and I was still scared.. I never seeked professional help because I thought kaya kong labanan kung ano mang nararamdaman ko para sayo. Because honestly, I don't deserve you. I don't deserve you because I am a dirty man."

Hinihingal ako noong matapos ako. Pumikit ako ng mariin. My ears feel as if it will explode any moment now. Kapit na kapit na ako sa kamay ni Ian pero hindi ko pa rin magawang tumigil.

"Rome..baby.."

"I was.. I was r-raped Ian." Halos bulong ko na lang na sabi. Ramdam ko iyong pagkakatigil niya sa narinig. Sa takot ko ay hindi ko makayang dumilat para makita iyong reaksyon niya. Noong hinila niya ang kamay niya palayo ay naalarma ako.

Is this it? Would she throw me now—

My mind stopped when I felt her pulling me into a hug. She was shaking so hard and I don't even know why. Her hands were busy rubbing my back to calm my shaking nerves.

"Rome.."

Huminga ako ng malalim. Wala na akong marinig kung hindi ang kalabog ng dibdib ko.

"Damn you Rome! Bakit hindi mo agad sinabi?" umiiyak niyang sabi. Humiwalay siya sa akin. She cupped my face in her hands and dried the tears I didn't know was there already.

"I love you. I love you so much Rome Falcon. I am so in love with you." Aniya. Napangiti ako. Tangina! Oo na.

You're my wish come true. My one more shot to happiness. My better half.

Mahal din kita Ianna.