i'm half a heart without you 

dear anshika, 

the sun didn't shine today. 

the birds didn't chirp neither did the world wake up. 

or maybe they did but i'm too numb and blinded by the pain to notice it.

 last night, your thoughts kept me awake. the war is over my love, just what you wished but only if you were here to watch the new beginning with your own eyes.

 it kills me from inside that we lost our future selves in the war. we had so many dreams, hadn't we? you wanted to have a typical church wedding while i suggested to fuse it with your traditions.

 i realized i'm probably never going to get that. you wanted to name our children and have a better life. 

we dreamed for so much more but got nothing.

 i was supposed to be holding your hand but i'm not. life is unpredictable my love, i'm so sorry.

yours,

theodore nott.