Part broken part whole, you begin again.

— Jeanette Winterson

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"I hope your flight was good."

"It was comfortable."

"How do you like it here?"

"It's fine, but not like home."

Banafsha watches her brothers talking and silently passes Mughis a cup of tea. She fills one for herself and Zoraiz stops her before she could fill one for him too.

"I won't take, thank you," he refuses.

Banafsha picks her cup and sits on the opposite couch. Zoraiz has already filled himself with multiple cigarettes before Mughis's visit in an attempt to settle his nerves, so his appetite is probably dead now. But in the dreadful expectations of what is to come, she doesn't know how she can rest her own jitters.

"I'm seeing you after long, Zoraiz," Mughis says as he studies him keenly. "You look different. Have you been exhausting yourself? I think you've grown weaker."

"What can I say? I've been traveling. It's tiring sometimes but the places I go to are worth it," Zoraiz replies.

"Well, you could've gotten an infection or something from somewhere. You look sick to me. Don't be so careless about your health."

"You're right, lala. I've just been a bit tight on time." Zoraiz offers him the treats with tea. "Help yourself, please."

"Thank you."

Banafsha quietly sips her tea, not bothering taking part in their conversation. She knows once she opens her mouth to speak on the affair of why Mughis is here, the environment won't be so casual anymore.

"You could've stayed with us here," Zoraiz politely suggests to Mughis and Banafsha throws him a look of disapproval. His apartment has only two rooms and she isn't going to opt for sleeping on the living room couch, neither hospital benches.

"Hotel is okay for me," Mughis declines. "I'm only here for three days. Wouldn't bother you with the accommodations." He finally turns his gaze to Banafsha and the hair on her body stands up in alert. "You're so quiet, Afsha. Why aren't you saying anything?"

She clears her throat, thinking of something lighthearted before asking, "You could've brought Ferozeh with you too, lala. I miss her and it would've been fresh air for her from home."

A small smile kisses his lips as he answers, "No, we're expecting our second child. The time is critical for her."

Her eyebrows fly up in surprise, so does Zoraiz's. They both share up a look before Zoraiz smiles at his brother.

"Congratulations, lala."

"Thank you."

"Congratulations," Banafsha says too. "Roz didn't tell me."

"It's only been two months and we just found out a few days before my flight here," Mughis tells them. "She didn't want me to come, but days are flying. Your wedding will be here soon. Baba has other important matter to deal with and this leaves me to look into the arrangements; I'm seeing everything personally." He looks at Zoraiz. "I told you Aurang lives here in Dublin. I asked you to meet up with him."

Zoraiz scrubs his stubble, stealing away his eyes. "I've been busy, couldn't get a chance."

"You couldn't make it to Banafsha's nikah either. As her brother, you've some responsibilities too," Mughis grimly reminds him. "I'll be meeting with Aurang tomorrow. See if you can take time to come with me. We haven't been able to connect and there's a lot to discuss with him."

"About what?" Zoraiz asks.

"About the wedding, what else?" Mughis puts down his tea cup and clasps his hands together. "Baba and I put up certain conditions for him to fulfill before the date. He needs to return home and establish himself well before he can take Banafsha with him."

"But I heard of his dispute with his father, lala," Zoraiz mentions. "Even if he resolves it, I don't think he'll settle there. He already has a life here."

"Our sister is not a worthless doll he can have for the price of nothing, Zoraiz. The only reason we agreed to this marriage was that Aurang will provide Banafsha with the maintenance no less than what she's provided at her home. Right now, he's way below that. And the only way he can get their is through reconciliation with his father."

"But if he doesn't agree to it?"

Mughis's orbs take a deadly hue as he registers the possibility. "Let's just hope it doesn't get to that."

The tones of his voice chills her body. Banafsha knows what her father and brother are capable of. But then again, she's the same blood. If they can move mountains for their desires, so can she.

"Banafsha?"

She looks at Mughis and his calculating gaze observes her closely.

"I know you weren't happy with this marriage, and your concerns are valid to me. I gave you my word that I'll look into everything myself for your sake. Your happiness is dear to me."

Her heart makes painful contractions with every beat. Whatever she has done is one problem, but whatever she's doing now is entirely another. She has made a promise to Mikael, and she intends to keep it upon her life. When has she not been loyal to dreams after all? He too is one such dream for her now.

"When are you coming home?" Mughis asks her. "You've to get all the things of your choice for yourself otherwise it will upset you too if anyone else does."

"My schedule is packed, lala," she excuses.

"Is your job more important than your wedding for you now?"

Her eyes meet Zoraiz's and they're sympathetic towards her. She knows at least she can have his support, if no one else's in her family.

"Lala." Zoraiz licks his lips as he speaks up for her. "If Aurang is unwilling to compromise, and neither Afsha, then don't you think forcing this marriage would be a foolish thing?"

Mughis stares at him in stunned silence for a minute. Banafsha feels her pulse quickening.

"Are you telling me we should just end this nikah?"

"All I'm saying is that if Afsha doesn't want to be with this man, then she cannot be compelled against her will."

"Banafsha was asked before this nikah and she did agree." Mughis looks at her for approval and she swallows drly. "The concerns that she has regarding Aurang will be dealt with before she starts her life with him. So she has nothing to worry about."

"But lala, it's about her likes and dislikes too. If she doesn't like the guy, no more reason is needed for her refusal of him," Zoraiz argues firmly.

Banafsha notices Mughis's jaw clenching and unclenching. "I don't know what values you follow now, but we still follow our old value back home, in case you've forgotten. I do know that you're not the same as us anymore, but you do understand nikah is no joke, right? We can not end it just like that. By now everyone knows about the wedding. There will be thousands of people to answer. We're a noble family; we've certain set of rules to follow."

"But lala," Banafsha speaks and Mughis's attention shifts to her, "you told me if Aurang really doesn't agree to our conditions, the wedding will be canceled. What then?"

"Then we'll find you a better match than him," he suggests calmly. "We already had a lot of proposals for you before him, many of them on rather powerful positions. Baba favored Aurang only because of his father. But if he fails to gain Mr. Khalil's support, he would be no good for you then."

"Why do I feel like a puppet in this game of politics?" Banafsha openly points out.

"You're no puppet, jaan." Mughis reprimandems her with his eyes. "This is all for your own happiness and a secure future."

"This isn't where my happiness lies."

This time, Mughis fixes her with his stare, sharp and inquisitive. There has always been an edge to him, cutting like a sword, merciless. It reminds him of their father, the uncanny resemblance of Mughis to him. It scares her, but never enough to back away.

Mughis leans towards her and asks in a low, grave voice, "Now tell me, Afsha, what really is the reason behind your rejection?"

She hesitates, fidgeting with her fingers uneasily, glancing at Zoraiz before back at Mughis.

"Lala, I..." Her courage wavers in front of those hard, dark orbs but she manages to let the truth out. "There's someone else I want to marry."

Silence like that of a graveyard, tense and heavy, settles in the living room. Mughis doesn't say anything; he doesn't even move a muscle. Banafsha feels her palms start sweating, until finally he asks, "Since when?"

When she continues to looks at him in perplexity, he adds, "You agreed to marrying Aurang so you could come here for practice. If you liked anyone else back then, you wouldn't have married Aurang in the first place. I'm sure it's someone you've met here. So," Mughis asks more sternly, "since when is this affair going on? And who is he?"

"I haven't started any affair behind my husband's back. This man I like is because he's a good man." She fails to control her tongue as it runs loose. "Just because our family has bad reputation in keeping relationships doesn't mean I would fall to the same standards."

"Behave yourself," Mughis thunders, barely managing to keep his cool, and Banafsha shuts up her mouth. "Aurang is a good man too. What's the difference?"

"I don't like him," she utters lowly.

Mughis turns to Zoraiz once more. "Did you know about all this?"

He only nods.

"Where was your shame when you learnt of it?" He scoffs. "Do you know the disgrace it'll bring our family if anyone finds out about this? Your sister is already married to someone else and here you're being her lawyer to me for another one, supporting her for a divorce?"

Zoraiz purses his lips, trying to keep his own level-headedness. "If Banafsha likes someone else, then this marriage won't be fair on Aurang's part either."

"If she liked someone else before her nikah, we might have considered. But not now when she's already committed to Aurang," he declares and stands up. Banafsha and Zoraiz does so too. Mughis steps towards her and grabs her wrist. "You're coming home with me. I cannot let you stay here anymore."

Her brain explodes in dread and she instantly tries to pull back her arm, but his grip is strong on it.

"Lala, please no, don't do this," she begs, trying to tug herself free.

"We've always surrendered in front of your every whim, Banafsha. But this is you asking too much of us. It'll cost us our honors. If baba finds about your this act, all the love he has for you will be no more. So just come home with me and no one will no a thing."

"Lala," Zoraiz steps forward and clasps Mughis's hand which is holding Banafsha's, "let her go, please."

Mughis looks at him shock and utter disbelief. "You're asking me to back off?"

"You're my older brother, lala. You've always been like a father to us and I respect you a great deal. But so do I respect Banafsha." He takes Banafsha's arm and gently pulls her away from Mughis. She quickly puts distance between them, coming to stand behind Zoraiz. "I understand you," Zoraiz continues to Mughis, "her fondness for someone else whilst already married and demand for divorce might sound bold and unacceptable. But rather than putting Aurang in a tight spot and pressurizing Banafsha into a relationship she doesn't want, I think the separation will be good in both of their favors. It's their lives after all. They've the right to choose for themselves."

Mughis looks at her and she meets his relentless gaze, somehow making herself not to look away.

"I'm answerable to baba," Mughis grits. "I cannot allow anyone to play with our shames. Neither Aurang, nor Banafsha."

Zoraiz tips his head. "Very well then. But right now we're in my apartment. And anyone who wants to take her will do so only over my dead body."

Mughis shakes his head at Zoraiz in sheer displeasure. "You've grown so much to speak back to me now?"

"I apologize, lala. But I've made a promise to Afsha that I'll support her in her decision-- it's unfair to force her to be with a man against her will. I cannot let her be alone against everyone else. I'll keep my promise to her."

"As you please. You both will face baba's wrath then."

Mughis throws them both a warning glare before turning on his heels and leaving. Zoraiz instantly crashes down on the couch, groaning in frustration and rubbing his eyes, while Banafsha keeps standing on her stop frozen in shock.

"Sit down, Afsha," Zoraiz says after a while.

"Baba will kill us," she mutters fearfully and looks at him. "I never meant to bring my brothers against each other because of me."

Zoraiz sighs and rests his forearms on his knees, crouching forward. "Afsha, listen to me."

She tries to lull her jumping nerves and focuses her attention to him. He pats the spot beside him and she sits down.

"Go home--"

"What--"

He puts a finger to her lips. "Let me finish."

"But--"

"Please."

She nods slowly for him to speak.

"Go home and meet Aurang. Baba is gonna call him back to settle the mess before your wedding. I want you to meet him at least once before you leave him."

"What for? My decision is not gonna change."

"I know you're stubborn when put to something. I'm not asking you to reconsider him. Just ask him for divorce on your own. He'll free you without causing you any trouble. That way you won't have to suffer by going through any process or bearing family pressure."

"I can call him."

"No." Zoraiz reaches out to hold her hand. "Meet him once. For me."

Banafsha ponders over his request. "And if he doesn't agree to divorcing me?"

"He won't compel you into a relationship you don't want to keep."

"How are you so sure?"

"Because I know him, Afsha. He's a gem."

Her heart breaks for this man. She feels pathetic for putting him through this, but her own feelings are out of her control. She cannot dictate her heart anymore. She's no more that girl who would put plans together considering practicality. For the first time in her life, she feels herself losing the battle to her heart.

"Who's this guy?" Zoraiz asks and she blinks, still in haze. "This guy you like, who is he?" he clarifies.

"You'll know," she replies meekly, shivering even at the thought of telling him it's his professor. That might offend him and she doesn't want him to regret standing up for her.

"Is he someone from the hospital? A doctor, maybe?"

Banafsha chuckles lightly. "Aren't you curious?"

"He must be special for you to like him. You've never liked anyone in your life, in general."

"Hey now, you make me sound so mean." She nudges him away, then grabs his arm and pulls him back to herself, resting her head on his arm. "I like you."

"Uh huh."

"Honestly."

He puts his arm around her, hugging her to his side, and kisses her forehead. They stay like that for a while before Zoraiz starts coughing and pulls away. Banafsha turns to him in alarm.

"Jaan?"

"Water," he chokes and she scrambles to her feet, rushing towards the kitchen and coming back with a glass of water, holding it to his mouth. He finishes it in a few gulps but his coughing doesn't stop. Banafsha rubs his back, frantic now.

"Zoraiz, what's wrong?"

"It hurts."

"Where?"

"Everywhere."

And thats when she notices the blood on his lips. And when he coughs again, it comes pouring out more heavily. Zoraiz wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and it stains red.

Banafsha quickly ushers for him to get up. "You could've developed a chest infection. We should get you checked right away. Come on."

But he doesn't budge. Instead, he stares at his hand in horror.

"Zoraiz?"

"My Lord, please not again," he mumbles under his breath and for some reason, her heart trembles at his words.

☾

Hello, any guesses of what's to come?

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