"What is the meaning of being perfect?"
I ask myself, trying to make me feel better.
They see me as solid but never good enough. I always tried to be the daughter or better said the son that every parent would be proud of but I ended up hurting my self respect. I always needed to be better. To be the best. To be perfect.

"Look at her, she is lazy..."

"She is working too much..."

"She is too ugly..."

"She is too perfect..."

No she is not an object. I'm a human. I can't be someone you want to me to be. I can only be me. I don't want to be perfect.
I want to be loved, to be respected, to be happy...
I love to be me. To be loved for who I am. But I lose hope every time I look outside of my heart. I only see darkness. I see hate, jealousy, harm...
"Why?"
Because people want to make the last one of the strongest, frail. They can't see how they hurt someone just by telling him to be better. To be someone else.

And they will always judge me for the reason to feel better.
I don't have the perfect body because I have illness.
I don't have the perfect grades because I can't concentrate on the school.
I don't have perfect life because nobody has.
Not even God have the perfect life. Not even his son.
Than why, tell me why do I need to be perfect? I can't and I don't want to understand. The adults are too complicated for a foolish teenager like me. I just want to be free, to be me.

I don't want to be perfect...