I woke up the next day with a plan. I was confident that I was going to solve all my problems. Maybe I was a little bit too optimistic. I mean, I was dealing with someone who was clearly a sociopath. She wasn't scared to murder, she wasn't scared to sabotage, and she wasn't scared to make my life a living hell.

As soon as I opened my eyes, I reached for my phone. The first part of my plan was to make sure I didn't have to go to school. In order to confront Lindsay, I couldn't have that burden in my way. Yes, she would probably be attending school, but I would not. No, I would have to meet her under different circumstances. Which is why I had to set up at her house. If she wouldn't listen to me, maybe she would listen to a little bit of sabotage of my own. And this is where I wasn't proud of myself. This is where I went low, lower than just shunning someone from my group, or trying to fling someone down the social ladder. No, I was gonna go lower than that. I was gonna cut the brakes on her car. That's right. Was it deadly? Yes. But that was what I needed to save my own life. Yes. I was gonna cut her brakes, set up beside her house, and tell her parents what she did. Because she was a goody two shoes to them. So, if she made it out alive, she had to face her parents.

Yes, I was feeling ruthless and cutthroat. I was happy, because I knew that this was fool proof. So what if I went to jail? There wouldn't be any proof. I knew where the school had cameras and where they didn't. Besides, no one in the school would be brave enough to testify if they did see anything. And even if there was a small chance that I really did go to prison,it would be okay because I would be free. Free of Lindsay, free everyone's watching I. Free of a guilt for everything that I had done and been a part of. Because maybe I had hurt people. Maybe I wasn't a saint. I just wanted everything to end already. Was that too much? No, the past three days had been too much.

I rolled over in bed, my phone in my hand. I had to call Alex and Paige to tell them I wouldn't be at school. I didn't know why I was gonna give them a courtesy. If I wanted to go out with a bang, I didn't wanna go out alone. They were my best friends, the only ones I had left. Maybe I was angry at them, but maybe we could work it out. Maybe I could tell them how I felt and how we were hurting people, get them to see.

Just as I was going to try to make amends, in walked my mother, sleep deprived from work. She was still in her uniform, the same Mickey Mouse one from the day before. "Sam, you have to go to school today. No more playing hooky."

I stared at her blankly.. No, this wouldn't work. She was ruining my plans.

"No, I'm not feeling that good today. I can't go in. I can't deal with this. "

She shook her head. "Samantha Presley, I let you stay home yesterday. But you can't let all this get in the way of your education. I get it, it's been a lot to deal with and I know you're probably traumatized. But is this the way to deal with it? Sitting at home, wallowing in your own misery isn't gonna do any good. So I need you to go to school."

I looked over my bed, a complete mess with blankets thrown everywhere. "No, I think I should stay in bed."

She placed her hands on her hips, and that's when I knew my mom was serious. Anytime squeezed her hands on her hips, she meant business. "No, here's what's going to happen. You're going to go to school, or I'm gonna call truancy on you."

She couldn't be serious. She was my mother, how could she do this to me? This could not be happening. "No! You don't understand. And you don't understand what it feels like. I need you to be on my side mom." It was clear at this point I was begging. I was just one step away from getting on my knees and clasping my hands together.

"Samantha, I know you. I know that you're going to be up to no good. I know you left the house yesterday. Where you went, I don't know. But you can't try this again. I can't have you getting in trouble. She's a bad seed, not you, okay? We're gonna get this figured out, police are going to get involved. But you're safer at school than out wandering."

Anger boiled inside me. How could she know what was best for me? How could she know what would make me feel better and what wouldn't? How could she know what I was going to do, and what was best for me to do and what wasn't? She couldn't. It just didn't involve her. It involved me, myself, and Lindsay. She was really going to call the cops and tell them I was ditching class?

"I I can't do this Mom. I need you to be on my side."

She sighed, dropping her hands down to her sides. " I am on your side. I have always been on your side. And I just need you to listen to me this once. Please, Sam."

I was shaking all over. I couldn't believe her, I couldn't believe that I had a plan and it was gonna be ruined. What would the cops do, come and pick me up for ditching school? I really didn't know. But maybe I could go to school and make her happy, because I didn't like when she was upset. And maybe there could be a happy resolution to this. I could just cut her brakes when I was at school, and then rush to her house after school. But then I would have to convince my mom to let me take her car, her rental car, because clearly my car wasn't available.

In the end, she let me take her car. The one condition was that I would actually go to school. That was the plan. And with the new plan at least I got her shiny, new, red loaner car since hers was also out of commission. They hadn't gotten a loaner car for me because that would be too expensive. Anyway, I took a second to set up my mirrors and my seat like you were told to do in drivers ed. This was also because I was taller than my mother, and she liked to have her mirrors all wrong. Anyway, I drove to school in silence. Usually, I played some kind of music or something. I was just too upset this day. My friends knew I was really upset when I wasn't listening to music. It was my favorite thing.

I got to school and parked in my normal spot towards the front. I got out and saw Alex and Paige standing by the doorway. I offered a little wav to them, kind of like a peace offering. They both walked inside without a word. My heart sank. Yes, I was angry at them, but they had had episodes like this too. Alex had an episode where she cut us off for a week and we welcomed her back with opening arms. I didn't understand why they were treating me like I was Lindsay. Whatever, I had discovered that if I wanted a solution, I had to do it myself. I didn't need people. They were just extras in my life. Besides, I had my parents, and I guessed they were on my side.

As I walked into the school, an understanding washed over me. I knew my mom thought she was doing the right thing, but I also thought I was doing the right thing for myself. Therefore, we both thought that we were right. But who was really right? I guess it was in the eyes of the beholder; because I thought I was right, and she thought she was right, and Alex and Paige both thought they were right. I guessed things were really put into perspective for me. I hadn't expected it, but it was nice as this blanket of calm washed over me and I realized that I have to be my own friend. I didn't always know who was really gonna be there for me and who wasn't.

Many people were looking at me, whispering, chuckling. My heart sank further and further down my throat, down my stomach into my intestines and down to the bottoms of my feet. I suddenly felt like crying from all the stress of the past few days, but I didn't let myself. All I did was walk with my head held high, my shoulders squared back, a confident pose. I swung my backpack over my shoulder as I walked to my locker. I exchanged what books I needed before heading off to my first class of the day.

The day dragged on without a hitch. Everything was normal except for my best friends completely ignoring me, but I was fine. I didn't need them anyway. Around lunchtime, I had no appetite. It was a good time. I headed outside to the parking lot, hands twisting nervously behind my back. I had a pair of scissors tucked into my pocket that I had stolen from somewhere in the house earlier. I try to relax, breathe in and breathe it out. I tried again, breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, and breathe out. I walked out and scanned the parking lot for her little black Chevy Cruz. I found it. I walked over carefully, every step calculated. Every step precise.

As I walked over, all of a sudden I heard screaming. It flooded the air, stifling it, like smoke rising from the fire. Like a warning bell, going ding dong, something is wrong. I looked towards the front of the school, which wasn't far away from where her car was, which I was now standing directly in front of, looking through the windshield to the shiny gold cross hanging from Lindsey's rearview mirror. Ironic, wasn't it? And I prayed then. I hadn't prayed in a while, besides occasional mass going with my parents. But coming across the cross made me remember something. Maybe everything happens for a reason, as sick and twisted as it sounded. Maybe if I prayed a little bit, then someone else could help me out with the mess that I was in.

My hands in my pockets, I clutched the scissors. I stared at the front of the school, watching. Waiting. And then remembered the alarm ringing. I thought it was a fire alarm. And that meant people were going to come outside. I hastily walked away from the car. I had to find another time. I couldn't be caught like this. That would make it too easy for them to prosecute me. I took longer strides, walking and almost running to the front of the school to pretend like I had been in there all along.

And the two girls running out? The two girls running out first were Alex and Paige. Their breath came out in gasps as they approached me.

Alex was fuming."She set our bags on fire! Somehow, she put something in our backpacks and lockers to start a fire! She's crazy."

I took in her disheveled appearance and laughed. It was a deep, casual laugh. The kind of shook your whole body. The kind that sounded convoluted and kind of sickening. The kind that had people questioning if you were crazy, out of your mind. And I laughed in her face.

I laughed until Paige screamed at me. "What is wrong with you?"

"I just think it's kind of funny how you tried to make it an 'us' problem, when it was clearly a me problem. But no, you have a problem now, and you're coming to me. I just think it's funny, is all."

She stared at me in disbelief. "You can't be serious. After everything we've been through together! "

I stumbled a step away from her. She had a crazy look in her eyes. "Yeah, well you haven't been through the past three days with me. You haven't understood. And then I try to make amends and y'all just run away from me. I've just been thinking and I just feel like we haven't been the best people in the school, you know? And I just feel like my conscious is weighed down and heavy, and everything is spiraling out of control. I didn't want to blame y'all because you're my best friends, but in a way y'all are just kind of in the center of everything."

Alex stepped up and raised her hand to smack me in the face. I grabbed her wrist and pinned arm backward, self-defense moves that my dad had taught me.

"What the hell, Sam? "

I let her go and stepped back once again, out of range of her hands. I realized they wouldn't get it. They were just making everything about themselves. I thought about it. Our whole friendship had really just been about them and what they wanted. I was friends with them because I needed someone, cause I needed popularity, because I needed something. But now, I realized it was hurting me a little bit more than it was helping me.

"I'm sorry that happened to you both, but don't you think it's weird that the last three days she's been targeting only me?"

By now, my fellow classmates were grouped and clustered around, far from the building. We were still in front of it. A teacher came out, one I barely recognized, with dark hair, pale skin and pitch black glasses. She hastily ushered us away from the building.

I looked out to the parking lot, towards Lindsey's car. I wish I could've just gone through with my plan. I wished that everything would just go according to plan, but of course it couldn't. Nothing was going according to plan for me.

Alex and Paige locked arms together, and I trailed helplessly behind them. We reached our designated spot with the teacher and a cluster of other students. Lindsay was among them, smirky. She had an evil glint in her green eyes. Her brown hair was perfectly slicked back into a little ponytail. She wore a green zip up, slightly cropped jacket shirt and black sweatpants. She had red lipstick on her lips and nothing else on her face. She looked proud of herself, very composed and put together. She looked the opposite of when I felt. Who knew that one person could make your life tumble down and make you feel so helpless and tragic. I clenched my fistss, my nails digging into my skin. I wanted to make it bleed, to trade the physical pain with the emotional. I reached up to my ponytail and tugged at my hair, hard. I just wanted to feel something. People were looking at me but I didn't care. I just looked up at the sky, opened up my mouth and then I screamed. I didn't care who heard it or who was watching me or who judged me. I didn't care at this moment. I screamed until a teacher came up to me and asked me what was wrong.

I looked at her and laughed. "Just everything! Just everything is wrong with my life. " I looked at Lindsay. She had a frown on her face. She clearly didn't expect me to fall apart in front of everyone. No one expected that. Because I had been put together for such a long time, it felt so weird for everything to tumble apart so seamlessly. There was no order to falling apart. No, there was an order to putting yourself together. There was an order to building up every block, stacking them on top of one another and building everything up until it was as tall and perfect as you wanted it to be. But falling apart, everything just tumbled down, there was no order. It was just like bricks raining down from the sky. It didn't matter who they landed on, who they hurt or who they hit or how they shattered or what they shattered. It didn't matter, it just happened and it just was and it was messy. And that's how I felt. Messy and messed up and not put together and not okay. Maybe Alex and Paige got what they deserved because they wanted to kick her out of the group and I didn't know I was getting all the consequences.

I laughed then like a maniac. Finally, someone else was feeling the consequences. Because I couldn't just be the only one that was feeling consequences. I couldn't be the only one this was happening too. Finally, someone else was suffering with me. It was such a deranged thought but it was my thoughts. Alex and Paige look concerned at this point, and I was glad. I was glad that someone was finally feeling concerned for me. Because I was concerned for myself. "Now you know how I feel. Now you know how it feels. " Alex opened her mouth to speak, but a voice spoke from behind her.

"No, now you know how it feels. " I looked back at Lindsay, who was smirking.

Alex raised fist and was ready to punch. I was usually the one that got physical, but Alex decided to take that role for me. As fast as I could blink, she was hitting Lindsay right in the nose. I heard the crack right before I saw the blood start pouring down.

"You're not gonna get away with this! " Paige shouted in a rage. It was funny that they were fighting her when something happened to them, but the last three days that things had been happening to me, it wasn't that big of a deal. Murdering someone with my car wasn't that big of a deal.

"Y'all were just collateral damage, it's her that I really want. "

She pointed at me. I stared at her. People were watching and staring and whispering but I didn't care. ]

"Why me?"

It was her turn to laugh. " Because it was you. You were the one sabotaging me all along, Samantha."

I was taken aback by this comment. "No, I never did anything to you. If anything, it was Alex and Paige that wanted to kick you out of the group. I really didn't think it was a big deal for you to get too drunk and throw up all over Paige's shoes at a party. I mean, things happen and we were supposed to be friends. But then she just turned to making fun of you."

Lindsay narrowed her eyes at me. "They told me it was you. "

I was stunned, too silent to speak. Too stunned to speak. I had my hands behind my back,twisting and pulling at my fingers. "No, it wasn't me. " I looked at the two people who were supposed to be my best friends, but they didn't even look in my direction. Anger swirled within me.

I reached for Alex and grabbed a fistful of her hair. My other hand reached for Paige at the same time. "You both set me up?" I hissed. "You both set me up and that's why all this is happening to me! "My voice raised an octave every time I spoke. It was more like a high-pitched shriek at the end. I let out the loudest scream before thinking about my hands in their hair and smacking their heads together. Alex moved to strike me but I smoothly stepped back and let both of them go. "This is unbelievable. I can't believe this."

And with that, I walked smoothly to the parking lot, to my mom's car, got in, put the car in gear, and drove away. I heard a teacher shouting at me, but I didn't care. I knew fire drills weren't a time for you to leave, but I didn't care. I didn't know how to deal with this. I didn't know if Lindsay was really the enemy anymore. I mean, I guessed she was because she murdered someone with my car, set my moms car on fire, and try to have me kidnapped, all while evading the cops. All over some stupid, petty disagreement at a party that led to Alex and Paige shunning her. But they bullied her, and I knew what that felt like. And I spent so much time trying not to be bullied that I became the bully. And I let myself be manipulated. And then, on top of everything, I was blamed for all her misery. After months of torment, I could understand why she would snap. Did she go top far? Yes, she went way too far. Like way over the mark far. But did I understand a little bit of her hurt? Yeah, I did. But I tried to make things right. I tried to call her and talk to her. I left a voicemail. Maybe she was just too angry to care. Either way, I couldn't be the one to pay for this. And I needed a new plan. Fast. No, but I told her it wasn't me. She had to understand that. I wasn't gonna cut her breaks anymore. I wasn't going to tell her mom. I told her the truth, so I was just gonna go home and hope that she left me alone and went for Alex and Paige. As for me, I didn't need friends. I wasn't gonna have friends anymore. I just needed to be alone. I couldn't trust anyone anymore.

_____

Author's note:

Just one more part left! Please leave a comment and let me know what you think of the story so far!