Billy looked at ease with all eyes on him. His fingers nimbly moved along his guitar. He even flashed his dimples a few times before saying good night. He moved towards me so quickly, like an impending storm. A rough hand hit my shoulder, pushing me faster than my comfortable pace. None of it felt familiar; he didn't feel familiar. 

"Car ready?" He spoke to no one in particular.

Without a response, he walked through the maze until we reached Roger's door again.

"Night, Roger," he murmured without slowing his pace.

I was like snow being plowed down a street. The car door was open before I even realized we were at a car.

"In," his eyes darted around before he joined me in the car.

"Did we need to leave like a Bond villain?" Sarcasm soaked my words.

"If you don't leave fast, you get stuck. I didn't want to get stuck." His tone was calmer now; only a slight edge of bravado remained.

"Don't you have to go to the signing?" I ask as the car lurched into traffic. 

"We stopped doing them in Europe. They got too hectic." His foot tapped in lingering energy from the stage. 

"How's your throat?" The shred in his tone hurt me to hear him talk.

He let out a content sigh and heavily leaned on me. "It's torn up. I've been drinking the tea you got me. I don't always have the honey and lemon, but I drink the tea."

"And your back?" I knew the answer before asking. I'd seen him writhing and twisting on stage, precisely what he should be avoiding.

"Yeah, I'm not great with the back. And I fucked up my ankle," Billy admitted.

I lifted a hand to the side of his face without twisting towards him as he leaned heavier into my shoulder. This skin was tacky from drying sweat. 

"I'm happy you're here." A level of relief in his voice sent panic through my body; Billy was different, but still lonely and still lost.

"Can you try to have a small regard for your physical health?" I tried to tease to lighten the moment.

"Yes, ma'am." He dutifully nodded. 

"Good boy." I patted the side of his face where my hand was lingering.

"This is us," he murmured as the car swerved to the curb.

"Shit, I left my bag at the venue."

"Don't worry; Tim will grab it," Billy absently spoke.

"Should I call him?" I felt vulnerable without my bag.

"No, I promise; Tim's got it." His confidence ended the conversation.

We were quiet on the way to the room. Billy's eyes coursed over me, but his only touch was flicking a belt loop on my jeans as he leaned against the elevator wall.

"I'm going to shower," he announced as we entered the hotel room. 

Billy vanished before I could even finish glancing around the space. It was generic, with a bed and a small seating area with a TV. The bed was disheveled, and a loaded ashtray sat next to a drained coffee cup. I picked up the ashtray and set it on the sill outside the window to try to get rid of the smell before I flopped down on the couch, wishing I had my bag. Despite Billy's confidence, I called Tim.

"Hey Lil, I got your bag. I'm on my way back with it and Billy's guitar."

"Oh, okay, thanks, Timmy."

"Of course. You're with Billy, right?" Concern clouded his voice.

"Yeah, he's in the shower."

"Right; that dude can sweat. Order room service if you're hungry. I'll drop off your stuff when I'm back, so try not to get too freaky."

"We'll try," I griped. 

I ordered hot water with lemon and honey for Billy and a bucket of ice. I hadn't seen the ankle, but the concerns were rising. Billy understated his injuries, so even the fact that he noted it was cause for alarm.

"Hey," Billy came out of the bathroom looking like Billy; blue jeans and a white t-shirt.

He still had a towel slung around his shoulders as he dried his hair. Seeing him back to himself made a knot in my chest loosen.

"I ordered you tea and ice." 

"Sounds delicious," he smirked. 

I pointed to the couch next to me, and he slumped at my silent command. "Let's see the ankle."

He rolled up his jeans and propped his foot on the coffee table. "It's just a bad sprain. I got it checked out."

"What did they say to do?"

I knew what they told him. I sprained my ankle in the sixth grade at my very first boy-girl party that erupted into an epic pillow fight. It was a memory Billy would enjoy hearing.

"To stay off it for a few days, keep it elevated, and ice it twice a day."

I held my gaze, knowing that was all I needed to do.

"And I'll do all those things next week," Billy nodded.

"And the back?" I sighed

"It's fine, Lil; it just gets stiff." A pleading let me know he desperately wanted to drop the topic. "Hey, can we do this tomorrow? I want tonight to be happy with my girl." He pulled me closer to his side. "I missed you, Lil."

Having his arms around me again filled me with warmth and comfort.

"Timmy should be here soon; he's bringing one of your guitars too," I murmured as I melted into him.

Billy nodded; he had expected it.

"You're the only one he lets call him Timmy." It was a statement that didn't need any additional discussion. Just a fact he was noting almost to himself.

"So, the crowds are bigger." I tried to keep the emotion out of my voice.

"Yeah, it's pretty cool. People seem to dig the music. I wish the guys would focus on that as much as they focus on partying." Billy's voice dropped low when he spoke of the band.

"Still a little disconnected?" I kept my head on his chest versus lifting my eyes to his expressions. His tone was familiar from so many phone calls. But the sensation of it vibrating through his chest made me smile.

"I don't think it's a little. We're just in it for different reasons."

My mind flickered back to the loneliness and anger of the song he played when he saw me on the side of the stage.

"How's the writing going?"

"Good, I always write more when I'm on the road."

A knock at the door cut him off.

"I'll get it. Rest your ankle."

Billy silently agreed by shifting deeper into the couch.

"Hey," I said to the girl pushing the room service cart. "You can just shove it anywhere," I added as I stepped out of her way.

"Of course." She responded as she wheeled the squeaky cart into the room.

As I turned, a louder squeak pierced the room. I twisted, expecting to see the cart listing from the last wail when I realized the noise was from the girl.

"You're Billy Collins." My jaw dropped at her words.

Billy hadn't been paying attention, but his face snapped up at the girl's identification. A mix of panic and exhaustion covered his face before he quickly smoothed away as he rose from the couch.

"Hello," his stage bravado twisted his voice. His tongue pleasingly clung to the L's that even captivated me.

"I'm a huge fan. All my friends were at your concert tonight. I had to work." She realized she was wearing an unflattering polyester uniform and uncomfortably shifted while letting out an awkward giggle.

"Thank you. Ah, I could..." He stiffly stood up and glanced around the room. "I could sign something if you like." He looked for something to grab, anything to do with his hands.

"Could I get a picture?" She pulled a phone from her pocket.

"Yeah, of course." He gave her a small, tired smile as she moved into him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Billy looked down at her for a moment and let one hand hover over the small of her back without touching it. She attempted to extend her arm to get a selfie, but it was far too short.

"I'll take it," I offered, seizing the phone from her and snapping a couple of pictures. I deleted one where Billy unsuccessfully hid his annoyance at the intrusion, but left the other two and handed her back the phone.

"Here." I handed a napkin and pen to Billy.

He scribbled his name and handed it to the girl. "It was nice to meet you..." Billy let his head slightly bow.

"Chrissy," she excitedly offered.

"Chrissy, it was nice to meet you. Thank you for bringing the tea." He added with another tired smile.

"Oh, of course. I'm on until 1 am, call down if you need anything." She backed out with an oversized grin and many giggles.

"Wow, rock star," I teased as I shut the door.

"It's not funny. It's so very awkward." He slumped back on the couch.

I tucked a pillow beneath his ankle for him.

"She's going to call her friends, and they're going to be in the lobby all week." He was shaking his head, already annoyed.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have ordered the tea." The level of attention was uncomfortable for Billy and me.

"No, it's fine." He let his head fall back on the couch and rubbed his eyes.

"Billy, you don't seem..."

He snapped his face to mine as I spoke. His expression was baiting me to continue.

"You seem tired," I adjusted.

"Jet lag," he murmured.

I handed him a teacup and went to get a hand towel from the bathroom for the ice. I had started icing his ankle when another knock came from the door.

"That wouldn't be her again?" I feared. 

Billy shrugged before more insistent knocking came.

"Come on, you two; you promised you wouldn't get freaky until I dropped off your crap." Tim's voice came billowing through the door.

I ripped open the door to get him to stop yelling. "Seriously?"

"Sorry," he dropped my bag just in the door and slung Billy's guitar next to it. "You two good?"

"Yeah," Billy sounded closer to sleep than awake from the couch.

"Remember the radio thing at 10 am," Tim shot at him.

"In-person or call-in?" Billy's hand rose to his head as though the thought of the interview made it throb.

"Call-in; store signing at 2 pm, that's in-person," Tim spoke with ease; clearly, he'd been handling an ever-increasing schedule for Billy.

"Thanks, I think I could figure that out myself," annoyance filled Billy's voice.

"Thanks, Timmy. I'll make sure he's up for the interview. Are they calling him, or is he calling them?" I gave him a soft smile as an apology for Billy's dour mood.

"Oh, right; you'll be here. He's calling into them." Tim pulled a sheet from his pocket. This is his entire schedule for tomorrow. "If you make sure he calls here at like 9:55 am, that'd be amazing."

"Yeah, of course," I gave him a tender smile.

"Thanks, Lil; it's good to have you around," he smiled before pulling me in for a hug and then headed down the hall to his room. 

"I liked him better when he was hawking CDs out of the back of the van," Billy grumbled.

"He's helping, Billy. You can use all the help you can get." I sat down and worked on getting the ice to settle on his ankle.

"I wouldn't need much help if you'd stick around a while." The request didn't come with the soft plea that he usually used. This time an acidic annoyance sharpened his words.

I let the comment slide, convincing myself he was just over tired. Instead, I made myself some tea. I wasn't thirsty, but I needed something to focus on other than my mounting anger. The cup rattled in my hand, revealing my unsettled thoughts. Billy shot a look at me without lifting his head. The distance between us annoyed him.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, but it didn't feel genuine. "I'm just tired." The excuse invalidated the apology even more.

"We can go to bed," I offered.

"No, not yet." This time, his voice came softer. He lifted his head. "Come here." He pulled me to his side. "I am sorry, Lil. It's just been a weird couple of months. Then coming back here with people reacting the way they are."

"It's good; it's a sign of your success." I tried to sound cheery, but the whole thing was landing on me as an off-putting brick.

"I love that you're a terrible liar." He kissed the top of my head. "Tell me all the terrible things about me."

"Should I start with iced drinks again?" His chest lept with laughter beneath my head. "I suppose I have my faults as well," I added.

"You and Tim let me paw around in a dumpster for a ring that wasn't missing." He mused about our summer adventures.

"For the record, when you jumped in, I thought the ring was missing, and by the time Timmy showed, it made sense to let you look longer." I patted his chest as I spoke.

"You two can be real jerks sometimes." His lips skimmed the top of my head as he spoke.

"We're jerks; you wouldn't shower for hours. I had to withhold sex to get you to clean yourself up."

"And if I were a stronger man... but I'm putty in your hands." Without looking, I sensed the twist of his lips to a content smile. But my mind wanted to see his dimples forcing my body to lift my face to see them. My finger floated down his cheek and dip into one.

"I missed you so much, Billy."

"I missed you too, Lil."

We held each other's gaze for a long moment, letting everyone and everything else melt away.