31. (inspired by Purplewitchii)

"Shit shit shit shit shit--"

"What the fuck did you put in those potions?!"

"I don't-- I was just experimenting!"

"Well your 'experimenting' fucked everything up. Fix it. Now."

"Dream, I need-- I need access to the drug van to do that."

A pause on the other end of the call. Tommy glanced nervously at his communicator.

"You need access to the drug van," Dream repeated. "Could I steal the potion supplies and take them to you?"

Tommy shook his head, then remembered that Dream couldn't see him. "I-- no, Wilbur'll ask questions. He's already suspicious of me as it is, if you--"

A knock on the door cut him off.

"Oh shit," he muttered, shoving the communicator under the pillow and scrambling to his feet.

"Dream?" Sapnap called. "You in there?"

"Uh--" Tommy cleared his throat, hurrying over to a chest and shoving the lid up. "Y-yeah! I'm getting my weapons."

"Okay," Sapnap said slowly. ". . . you sound kinda off, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine, big man." Tommy realized his mistake a second too late.

"Big man?" Sapnap repeated. ". . . Dream, I'm coming in."

"Uh-- no, you don't--" but it was already too late. Sapnap shoved the door open.

He stared at Tommy. Tommy stared back, then grimaced and ducked his head like he'd seen Dream do several times.

"I might be picking up Tommy's speech patterns," he admitted.

Sapnap snorted. "Fraternizing with the enemy, Dream?"

"Hell no." Tommy scowled. "I'm fine, see? Now get out of my house."

Sapnap rolled his eyes, but obligingly turned and left. The moment he was gone, Tommy dove for the bed, yanking the communicator out from under his pillow.

"Shit that was close," he hissed.

A loud huff. "What materials do you need?"

"Dream, we've been over this, you can't steal stuff from the drug van."

"Watch me. What. Materials?"

". . . I actually don't know."

A pause. Then: "WHAT?!"

Tommy winced and pulled the comm away from his ear. "I don't know, okay?! I don't remember what I put in the potions last night!"

"So what you're saying," Dream said slowly, "is that you have no idea how to undo this."

"Pretty much, yeah."

"And we're going to be stuck in each others' bodies for the rest of this loop."

"Uh-huh."

There was a long moment of silence.

"Look at the window."

Tommy slowly turned around. His own face stared at him through the window, a communicator pressed to his ear.

"I'm going to give you a fifteen minute head start, Tommy," Dream said.

"W-wait, Big D--"

Dream raised a gleaming netherite axe. "Make that ten minutes."

Tommy hung up, shoved whatever useful stuff he could find from the chests into his inventory, and ran like hell.

32.

"Hey, Dream. Here to wish me luck at the elections?"

"Hello," Dream greeted, then slammed a potion down at Tommy's feet. Tommy let out a startled shout and scrambled back, but it was already too late.

When the air cleared, a raccoon was left staring balefully at Dream. Dream shrugged.

"Nothing personal." He paused. "Okay, maybe a little personal. Never dye my hoodie pink again."

Tommy bared his teeth in a smug grin.

~~~

"Dream."

"Wilbur."

The L'Manbergian tilted his head. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this. . . visit?"

Dream shrugged. "I have an endorsement to make," he explained. And then he smashed a potion at Wilbur's feet.

"Fucker," Wilbur said. It came out as a loud cluck.

"--and then I'll announce that we're pooling our votes," Schlatt finished. He grinned lazily and held out a hand to Quackity. "Pleasure doing business with you, Quackity."

Quackity opened his mouth to reply, only to be interrupted by the sound of shattering glass. Schlatt jerked back, staring as his running-mate-to-be disappeared into a pile of clothes and fluffy feathers. More splash potions smashed to the ground behind him, and then he found himself blinking down at hooves. His hooves. Because he had turned into a ram.

"What the fuck," he bleated.

The duck that had been Quackity let out an angry quack.

~~~

When it came time for speeches, a whole menagerie of animals migrated onto the stage and proceeded to cause chaos. Niki and Fundy somehow managed to reign them in, clearing the stage to make their own speeches to the confused populace. The other competitors never made an appearance.

Needless to say, Coconut 2020 won the elections by a landslide.

33. (credit to anon and DeDoSzo)

Sam stared at the scene. "What."

Dream raised a hand in his general direction, not even looking up from his cards. Tommy, sitting cross-legged on the obsidian floor across from him, took another bite out of his potato. Ranboo, whose eyes were twin voids of chilling purple, let out a happy vwroop . He put down a card on top of the pile forming in the middle of the little circle.

Tommy slapped down a wildcard. "Yellow."

Dream let out a slow, quiet chuckle. The two teenagers stared at him.

"No," Tommy said, pointing at him with the half-finished potato. "No fuckin' way, you cannot--"

Dream cackled and slammed down a yellow five. "Uno!"

"FUCK!" Tommy cursed. Ranboo just dropped his cards and put his head in his hands.

"⍙⊑⊬ ⋔⎍⌇⏁ ⌿⍀⟟⋔⟒ ⎎⍜⍀⌇⏃☍⟒ ⋔⟒?" He moaned.

"You have to be cheating somehow," Tommy insisted. "That's the fifth fuckin' time you've won, you bitch, nobody is that lucky--"

"How the hell did you get in here?" Sam demanded.

Three blank gazes turned to him. "⟟ ⏁⟒⌰⟒⌿⍜⍀⏁⟒⎅," Ranboo offered.

"Ran, we've been over this," Tommy said. "You gotta speak English. Otherwise they're not gonna get it."

"⟟'⋔ ⌿⊑⊬⌇⟟☊⏃⌰⌰⊬ ⟟⋏☊⏃⌿⏃⏚⌰⟒ ⍜⎎ ⌇⌿⟒⏃☍⟟⋏☌ ⟒⋏☌⌰⟟⌇⊑."

"At least try, big man."

All conversation abruptly ended when Sam drew his sword and pointed it at Tommy's face. "How. Did you get in."

Tommy looked him dead in the eye and took another bite of his potato. He then proceeded to chew for ten long seconds before he swallowed and said, "Magic."

"That's not an answer, Tommy."

"Yes it is." Tommy took another bite of his potato, then made a face. "Do you have any salt and butter? These potatoes are kinda bland."

"Take this seriously."

"I am." Tommy turned away and put down a card on top of the pile that Ranboo and Dream had started, finishing off the last of his potato.

Sam took a deep breath. He wasn't paid enough for this.

"Tommy," he began, trying to keep his frustration in check, "If you could get in, then Dream might be able to get out. I need to know so I can improve the security in this prison."

He was ignored. The three players had begun a rapid-fire round of Uno, ending with Dream slamming down a green three.

"UNO!"

"⟟ ⊑⏃⏁⟒ ⟟⏁ ⊑⟒⍀⟒."

Sam closed his eyes and resisted the urge to scream.

34. (credit to Trytokillmeorsomething123)

"TOMMY!" Tubbo screamed, shaking with terror. "TOMMY, ARE YOU OKAY?!"

"LET HIM GO," Sam shouted. Dream just threw back his head and cackled.

"Let him go?" he mocked. The lit match in his hand lowered towards the TNT. Every person in the crowd below tensed further, eyes fixed on it. "Now why would I do that?"

"What do you want?" Sapnap demanded.

Dream tilted his head. "I told you," he said calmly. "I want Tubbo and Ranboo to give themselves up and come with me peacefully."

"They're not going anywhere near you," Quackity snapped, his wings bristling.

Dream hummed. His hand drifted an inch lower. "Is that so?"

"TOMMY!" Tubbo made to lunge forward, only to be wrestled backwards by Ranboo. "LET ME GO--"

"TUBBO, YOU BITCH, DON'T YOU DARE TAKE A FUCKING STEP CLOSER!" Tommy shrieked like the dramatic gremlin he was. He jerked wildly at the ropes binding him to the large stack of TNT. "I'M NOT WORTH IT!"

"Be quiet," Dream snapped. He turned to look down at the crowd. "Well? What will it be? Tommy's life, or your cooperation?"

"Neither," Sam snarled. "You're going back to prison."

"I don't think so," Dream purred.

"Fuck you, you green bitch!" Tommy spat. "Blow me up, I dare you--"

Quackity started panicking. "Tommy, Tommy, shut the fuck up--"

Tommy just raised his voice. "YOU DON'T HAVE THE GUTS TO DO IT, DO YOU? STOP BEING SUCH A PUSSY AND BLOW ME UP ALREADY-- "

"FINE!" Dream shouted, clearly annoyed. He moved as though to drop the match.

"NO, NO, WAIT!" Quackity shouted. "WAIT, DREAM, WE'LL LET YOU GO!"

Dream paused, turning to look down at him.

Quackity gritted his teeth. "Let Tommy go, and we'll let you go."

Dream laughed sardonically. "How stupid do you think I am? If I let him go, you'll just swarm me." He turned back to Tommy. "I'll settle for revenge."

He dropped the match.

"TOMMY!" Tubbo screamed. Ranboo, whose grip had loosened in shock, didn't react in time to stop him from sprinting forwards. Sam, however, did, stepping bodily in the way and trapping Tubbo in a clinch. Tubbo thrashed, trying to get free, but Sam just pushed his head down, keeping him from seeing the scene. Dream, laughing maniacally in the background, was drowned out seconds later by a series of explosions.

Several people flinched as a gritty substance spattered over them, not daring to look up. Tubbo wailed and beat at Sam, kicking in a desperate attempt to free himself. When his blurry gaze refocused, however, he froze.

"Uh," he croaked, staring at Sam's glitter-covered armor.

Sam grimaced and cracked his own eyes open, expecting a grisly scene. Instead, he was met with the sight of glitter.

He looked up. Yep, that was glitter. Everywhere.

Hysterical cackling caught his attention. He turned to stare at Tommy, who was still wrapped in the mangled remains of the rope. He was covered in a thick layer of glitter, hair sticking in one direction as though it had been run through with a strong wind.

Most importantly, he was alive. Alive, and unharmed.

"TOMMY!" Tubbo cried. He elbowed his way out of Sam's arms and hurled an ender pearl up to the roof. The moment he reached his friend, he tackled him in a hug, uncaring of the glitter getting all over him. "You're-- you're okay!"

Tommy patted Tubbo on the back. "Yep. They were glitter bombs."

There was an alarmed cry from below. "Where'd Dream go?" Quackity demanded. "Did anyone see where he--"

A series of explosions went off. Tubbo screamed, shrinking back from the edge of the roof as the area below was buried in clouds of glitter.

". . . Where the fuck did you get that much glitter?" Tommy hissed. His voice was barely audible under the chaos ensuing below.

Dream, standing invisible beside him, grinned. "I have my sources."

35. the adventures of dreaxter, pt. 3 

"Dream," George whispered.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Dreaxter noted. Tommy choked on air. "And hi! I'm Dreaxter!"

"You're--" George shook himself. "You're dead?"

"Yes," Dreaxter said. "Why does everyone ask me that?"

"But-- you're supposed to be in prison," George protested weakly, sinking towards the floor. "You were-- safe in prison. I don't-- I don't understand-- who killed you? How--?"

Dream tilted his head. "Prison? Oh, is that the big blackstone building I woke up in?"

"Yeah," Tommy cut in. "That's the prison."

Dreaxter hummed, brow furrowing. "I don't think Dream was very safe there," was all he said. "There was a lot of blood."

George paled further and sank the remaining few inches to the floor.

"Okay, that's it," Sapnap growled. He turned on his heel and stormed towards the door.

"Woah woah woah, big man," Tommy said, sliding in front of him. "Where are you going?"

"To find answers," Sapnap snapped. "Get out of my way."

"Wait," George blurted. He scrambled to his feet. "Wait, I'm coming with you."

Dreaxter tilted his head. "What's happening?"

"We're going to find out what happened to you," Sapnap promised.

Dreaxter blinked. ". . . Why?"

His former friend stared at him for a long moment, then gritted his teeth and turned away. He shoved past Tommy and out of the house. George followed. The door slammed shut behind them.

". . . Are you siccing Sapnap on Quackity and Sam?" Tommy asked.

"Maybe," Dreaxter admitted. "I might be a bit salty that nobody ever found out what happened to me in the prison."

"Right, like you might hold a bit of a grudge against Quackity."

"Exactly."

Loop Notes
31. The impromptu manhunt eventually ended when the others got involved. Or more accurately, it became a hunt-- with the rest of the server running from the two insane crime boys armed with glitter bombs. Switching bodies doesn't affect their propensity to weaponize glitter, after all.
32. Despite the fact that Fundy and Niki mostly ran as a joke, they were good leaders. L'Manberg flourished under their guidance, and Tommy began considering endorsing Coconut 2020 in future loops.