161. (inspired by Sh00k, hexx, and ori)

This loop had started early.

Dream and Tommy had taken one look at the (fairly) untouched SMP and decided to go full Chaos™. The other members of the server had needed about a month or so to adjust to the sudden glittery precipitation and the casual defiance of all known laws of physics, but they came around eventually. Even the newer members were adapting at a decent rate, guided by server veterans.

Unfortunately, neither Dream nor Tommy had considered the possible ramifications of making Chaos™ the normal baseline. Nor had they considered the possibility of non-loopers out-Chaos™-ing them. Hence, neither were prepared to face the current situation.

"That," said Tommy, "is not a cake."

Tubbo, Niki, and Ranboo fixed him with identical blank stares. "Looks like a cake to me," Tubbo said.

"That is not a cake," Tommy repeated. "You-- do you not see the reality fuckery it's-- holy shit, is that the fifth dimension?"

Niki beamed, all sunshine and innocence. "Tubbo did a good job with the decoration!"

Because of course Tubbo would decorate a cake with a fucking spatial anomaly. Just looking at the monstrosity was giving Tommy a headache. "What the fuck," was all he could say. "How the fuck."

"Potato battery and a rigged dimensional window," Tubbo chirped. "Completely edible, don't worry!"

"Do you want a slice?" Ranboo held up a glowing butter knife. Probably the one Dream had given Niki for her birthday. "It's got a lot of frosting, but the cake is actually--"

"No way in hell. That thing can kill god. I'm not takin' a bite of it."

As one, the trio paused. Niki frowned, brow furrowing with contemplation. ". . . Kill god?"

"Kill god," Tubbo echoed thoughtfully. A wide grin spread across his face. "Wait, this cake could kill god."

It was at that moment that Tommy knew. He fucked up.

~~~

Dream practically squeaked the last syllable of the incantation, his lungs unable to provide air for the words. In this case, though, breathing had been sacrificed for haste. Containing this mess took precedence over basic life functions.

XD appeared in a swirl of green robes and reality-breaking geometry. Dream didn't even wait for him to finish manifesting before he blurted, "PleasefortheloveofPrimestophim."

XD stared at him. Or, well, gave the impression of staring. It was difficult to tell when he didn't have eyes. ". . . What?"

Dream tried to speak, realized his lungs had deflated into 2D, and was forced to indulge his mortal limitations before he spoke again. "Ranboo's turning everything into dried spaghetti. I don't know why or how, but you have to stop him!"

XD didn't visibly move, but something in his aura twitched like a spooked cat. Dream stilled, eyes narrowing before snapping wide with realization.

". . . You didn't."

XD remained silent.

"You didn't," Dream repeated, horror creeping into his voice. "Please tell me you didn't."

The air around XD grew heavier. Dream got the distinct impression that the deity was sulking.

"What the fuck," he breathed. "What even. . . how. . ."

". . . They threatened me with a cake."

"They what?"

~~~

"I don't want to be here," Fundy whimpered, hugging his tail as he rocked back and forth. "Please, if-- if anybody out there is listening, get me out."

"Don't be like that!" Tubbo chirped. He stuck another potato on the massive potato portal he was building in the center of the plaza. "Hey, I think we're getting close to the infinite potato dimension now! Can you message Techno and let him know we've made a breakthrough?"

Fundy began sobbing.

At the edge of the plaza, Tommy very slowly backed away. He didn't need to be involved in whatever the fuck he'd walked into. Unfortunately, he kept his eyes on the most visible threat - which meant he backed right into someone else.

"Tommy!" Niki beamed down at him, eyes shining with mischief. "I was looking for you!"

"No," Tommy whispered. "No, Niki. Don't do this."

Niki giggled. It was the most terrifying thing Tommy had ever heard. "Don't be like that," she chided, one hand closing around his arm in an iron grip. "Come on, I wanted to show you something!"

"No," Tommy begged.

His last desperate bid for freedom went unheard. Niki cheerily dragged him away.

~~~

Tommy and Dream stared at the SMP.

Or rather, what remained of the SMP. A good chunk of it had been converted into spaghetti. XD was MIA, possibly dead by cake. Niki had gotten her hands on a second butter knife somewhere in the mix and was now harvesting the pasta, mostly by decimating huge swathes of spaghetti-composed land. As for Tubbo. . . the less said about him, the better.

"This was a mistake," said Tommy.

"This was a mistake," Dream agreed. "And someday, we're going to laugh about it."

"But not today."

"Oh, no. Today, we're going to regret all our life choices."

162. (credit to FrOgGy_hOpZ)

"Welcome to the Little Shop of Regrets! How can I help you today?"

"What the fuck is this place," was Purpled's polite reply.

Tommy grinned. "My flower shop! I try out potions on plants, and you get to buy the results." He leaned down behind the counter and resurfaced with a pot. "Can I interest you in a Stabby Leafshooter?"

"A stabby leafshooter," Purpled repeated. He squinted at the plant in Tommy's hands. ". . . What is it?"

"Well, it's a plant that shoots stabby leaves."

"Those don't exist."

Tommy stroked the green bud in the pot. It furled open, revealing sharp, serrated leaves. Tommy tapped one. The leaf snapped off and zipped through the air, imbedding itself into the ground a few inches away from Purpled's foot. Purpled stared at it.

". . . I stand corrected," he said, then looked up at Tommy. "How much for twenty of those?"

~~~

"Wait-- George, don't touch that--"

"Relax," George muttered. "What's the worst that could happen?"

Sapnap eyed a plant that appeared to be dripping acid all over its ceramic pot, which was now sporting quite a few unfashionable holes. "Death?"

George scoffed as he poked at something resembling a tulip bud. The petals unfurled, revealing a mouthful of sharp teeth. George squawked like a startled chicken and flung himself sideways, right into Sapnap. The two of them went down in a flurry of flailing limbs and loud cursing.

Unfortunately, neither man quite grasped the danger of being at eye level with the various plants arrayed against the baseboard of the shop. George had barely managed to disentangle himself when he found himself face to face with a cactus. The cactus raised its arms and grew several pointy spikes.

"Sapnap," George whispered. "Is that cactus moving?"

"Ah, you met Snuggles!" Tommy leaned forward across the counter, a wide grin splitting his face. "Beautiful, isn't she?"

Snuggles brandished its sharp spikes and took a step forward. Because Snuggles apparently had legs.

"Oh fuck no," said Sapnap, and set Snuggles on fire.

~~~

"Why is your cactus on fire?"

"She's fireproof," Tommy chirped. "Would you like to take her home?"

". . . I'll pass," Eret said. He shuffled to the side as Snuggles strode past, her burning needles flaring like tiny stars. "Isn't that a bit of a fire hazard?"

"Oh, no. Snuggles knows to avoid wood structures."

The door to the shop swung open to admit a new customer. Snuggles instantly changed course, waltzing past a horrified Fundy and into the vast world outside. Fundy watched it waddle away, then turned and stared at Tommy.

"That is not a cactus."

"Unfortunately," Eret said, "that is a cactus."

Fundy nodded slowly, then carefully stepped back out of the flower shop and shut the door.

~~~

"--and so that's why I opened a flower shop!"

"Mm-hm," said Ranboo. He edged away from a flower that had begun making a noise not dissimilar to a dying goat. "That's. That's great."

"Oh, right! I have a gift for you!" Tommy disappeared behind the counter. When he straightened up, he was holding an allium in his hands. "Here! For you, Ran-boob!"

Ranboo eyed it warily, and when it didn't begin screaming or spitting poison, took it with two fingers and held it as though it was about to bite him. ". . . Thanks?"

"You're welcome," Tommy chirped. "Now shoo before Pluto eats you."

"Pluto?"

Tommy pointed towards the ceiling. Ranboo looked up to see a very large venus flytrap grinning down at him.

"Right," he squeaked, and promptly fled the premises.

163. (inspired by curry_powder)

"OH FUCK NO. NOPE NOPE NOPE WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK--"

The eyes on Dream's mask slid upward in an impression of an eyeroll. "It's not that bad--"

"IT IS THAT BAD," Tommy shrieked. "IT'S FUCKING CURSED, IS WHAT IT IS! HOW THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN MAKE THAT ABOMINATION?!"

"It's not an abomination," Dream muttered. Tommy shuddered as the mouth on his mask opened and closed in time with his lips. "I just messed around with a few enchantments, keyed the engravings to a mirror matrix. I think it turned out pretty well."

"You thought wrong, bitch."

"I even added a few extra faces," Dream continued, blithely ignoring Tommy's horror. "Here, watch this."

The face on the mask flipped through a series of expressions: UwU, OwO, ≧w≦, ×_×, O_o, ✧w✧, ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ, ಠ‿ಠ, ಠ益ಠ, ◕‿◕, and finally. . . L.

Just L.

"Why," said Tommy.

Dream shrugged. His mask morphed into a ┐(シ)┌. "I feel like I'd use those faces most often, so I might as well put my art skills to use and burn some time enchanting them."

"Dream, the only thing you can draw is hands."

In answer, Dream's mask morphed into a horrifyingly realistic depiction of a one-fingered salute. "Yeah, I added those too."

Tommy's voice failed in the face of the monstrosity. He could only stare mutely as the offensive gesture rearranged itself into a (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧. There were no words to describe the sheer depth of the terror he was currently experiencing-- but then again, Technoblade did always say the universal language was violence.

Hm. Maybe he was right this time.

". . . Tommy, you okay? You've been quiet-- where'd you get that axe from? Hey, watch where you're pointing th-- wait wAIT WAIT TOMMY WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS--"

164. remix, pt. 11 

Philza clawed his way through the murky darkness, hands scraping at broken shingles and soot. Smoke filled his nose and he hacked, mouth opening in a soundless scream as he struggled towards the open air. A moment later he broke through the surface, gasping, and with what remained of his strength, dragged himself out of the rubble and into the snow.

He lay there for a moment, staring blankly up at the ash-stained sky. He could hear the fires crackling merrily away at the remains of the house. The cold seeped through the back of his thin cloak - he hadn't had a chance to change into clothes suitable for the arctic yet, not with how frantic their escape from L'Manberg had been. Technoblade had been insistent--

OH FUCK, TECHNOBLADE!

Philza catapulted into a seated position, ignoring the tingling protest of newly-healed bones. "TECHNO!" he shouted. "TECHNO, CAN YOU HEAR ME?!"

"Right here," a voice grunted behind him, and Philza whipped around to see Technoblade trudging towards him. "You okay?"

In answer, Philza held up a spent totem. Technoblade grimaced and held up his own in return. "Glad you had it. If you died. . ."

What would have followed went unsaid. Philza accepted Technoblade's hand, letting the piglin hybrid yank him to his feet. "Did. . . did Dream have a totem?"

Technoblade's expression was answer enough.

Philza's heart sank into his stomach. ". . . Shit. That's-- what, two lives in a day? His-- his spawn was set here, right--?"

"Doesn't matter. The bed's gone."

"So he--"

"Yup." Technoblade jerked his head to the north. "He's back at Spawn."

"Fuck."

"Won't have weapons or armor," Technoblade continued. His voice was oddly flat, detached as though he was observing the scene from a distance. "We should take inventory of what we have, salvage what we can, then head for Spawn. Prime knows he'll probably need help."

Philza could only watch as Technoblade rolled up his sleeves and marched into the wreckage, snuffing the smaller fires beneath his boots. About five feet in, he stopped and nudged something with his foot.

"Well, all my pets are dead," he called. Through the smoke, Philza saw him bend down and pluck an enderpearl - presumably Edward's - from the rubble. "Chests are gone, potions too. Basement's buried, and we don't have time to excavate. Everything we own's in our inventories now. Good thing we didn't have time to unpack."

Philza carefully didn't look over towards where half the house had collapsed on top of the stables. "Yeah, that's. . . lucky. Techno, mate, do you want to. . . get back here? Ground might not be stable where you're standing."

For several long seconds, Technoblade remained silent. His back was to Philza, shoulders hiked up to his ears and one hand curled around Edward's pearl. At last, he sighed, audible even over the crackling flames.

"Just. . . give me a minute," he said. He didn't turn around.

Philza retreated to a respectful distance and busied himself with sorting through his inventory, taking mental notes of what they had and what they needed. Both he and Techno presumably had enough to last them and Dream four days - ample time to set up a new base. Problem was, they needed to find a new place to build; this location was obviously compromised.

Unfortunately, although the Totem of Undying had healed the lingering effects of his scuffle with Tommy, it didn't fix the physical exhaustion weighing him down. He'd had worse - but if their retrieval mission turned into a fight, things could get messy.

The sound of crunching snow signaled Technoblade's approach. Philza looked up, meeting his gaze. A familiar rage burned in the warrior's eyes, rekindled by the smoldering remains of his home. Philza recognized that rage, knew it was reflected in his own eyes. Bloodthirst. Revenge.

He didn't comment on it. "Ready?"

"Yeah." Technoblade adjusted his cloak. His fingers left ashy prints in the cloth. "Before we get Dream, though, we gotta make one more stop. I'm thinkin' we might need some wither skulls. . ."

~~~

Dream groaned as he was dragged back into the land of the living. Everything ached. His newest scars smarted against the fabric of his hoodie. He wanted nothing more than to lie there in the grass and sleep the day away, but that hope was crushed by the snap of a twig.

Dream reluctantly peeled his eyes open. "Hi Tommy."

"Dream," Tommy said. He leaned over him, the sun forming a halo of gold around his head. "How're you feeling?"

"Absolutely wonderful," Dream deadpanned. "Respawning after being blown to bits is so refreshing. We should do this more often."

Tommy snorted. "Can you walk?"

"Yesn't."

Tommy crouched down and slung Dream across his back in a firefighter's lift. He carefully rose to his feet, paused for a moment to adjust to the extra weight, then turned and plodded deeper into the forest.

"Where are we going?"

"Your base. Or, well, my base now."

Dream side-eyed him. "You didn't redecorate it, did you?"

"Of course I did. Your taste in aesthetic is shit."

"Your taste in aesthetic is literally just cobblestone--"

"Oh fuck you, I have nuance and sophistication --"

"--'nuance and sophistication' my left sock--"

"--mimimi my name is Dream and I think neon green hoodies are fashionable--"

Hidden behind a tree ten feet away, Fundy clutched his bristling tail and watched as Tommy and Dream disappeared into the foliage.

165. (for the previous part of this loop, see 155. in Chapter 31)

Tommy awoke in a burst of bloodied ash. Shaking cinders from his hair, he squinted at his surroundings through the murky air. Strangely enough, the soot-choked haze didn't irritate his lungs, and he paused to marvel at it - only to realize that he wasn't breathing.

A quick glance at his hands confirmed his suspicions: he was a ghost.

Even as this realization dawned on him, the shock numbing his mind began to fade a way. One by one, his memories filed into consciousness - following Niki to gather spruce, Niki screaming at him, and. . . nuke.

Well. At least he knew Niki hated him now. And had hated him for a while. And might have also arranged his death.

He cringed as her face flashed in his mind, wild-eyed and twisted with hate. Shoving that aside for later consideration, he turned his attention to his final moments. The nuke had reminded him of something. Had he been nuked in a past loop? Loop zero? He tried to recall the end of the original timeline, but it fled from his mind every time he got a clear lock on it. Now that he thought about it, his recollection of the final battle itself was pretty fuzzy - he vaguely recalled the meeting leading up to it and the tense hours spent pacing back and forth, but the actual fight was a blur of whirling blades and terror. The clearest thing he could remember was the sting of betrayal when Punz stabbed Quackity in the back. How had the battle ended? Had Tubbo dropped a nuke on the battlefield? It made no sense, but Tubbo was the only one on the server who had nukes - and why else would Tommy feel such deja vu?

"T-Tommy?"

Tommy snapped out of his contemplation, turning to see Tubbo and Jack. Both were dressed in hazmat suits, and Tommy realized that they must be in the crater. A quick glance around showed a lump on the ground that might be his corpse.

"Oh," he said, and was faintly surprised when his voice echoed. "Uh. Hi. Is Niki okay?"

"Tommy," Tubbo repeated, taking a step back. "You-- you're-- dead?"

"Um," said Tommy, because telling Tubbo he'd been hit by the nuke would be a very bad idea. He had to get revived as quickly as possible. "Where's Niki? I think-- I think she was with me, when. When I. Uh."

A glance at Jack showed that he had a strange expression plastered across his face, something between joy, grief, and guilt. So Jack had been in on the plot to kill him. Tommy shuffled that realization away before he could think too hard about it. The mental breakdown could wait until he was alone.

Tubbo's voice dragged him out of his thoughts. "You. . . you're not dead, are you? You didn't. . . there's no way the nuke hit you." The teenager smiled, heartbreakingly hopeful. "No, it couldn't have. Right? Your house is miles away."

Tommy floundered, unsure of whether to expose his murderers or let Tubbo sink deeper into denial. He didn't want Tubbo to start blaming himself, but he also didn't want Tubbo to go on a revenge arc and destroy half the server in an attempt to kill Jack and Niki. "I. . . dunno?"

Tubbo stared at him. "You don't know if you're dead."

Tommy shrugged, already backing away. "Y-yeah. Listen, I-- I gotta go. There's some shit I need to take care of, big man things to do-- I'll be back, okay? I'll talk to you soon, I just-- I need to deal with this."

He sunk through the bottom of the crater before Tubbo could ask any more questions. Let Jack clean up his own mess - Tommy had some self-reflection to do.

~~~

Tommy settled against the cave wall, allowing the rough stone to press into his back. He glared at a creeper that had gotten a little too far into his personal space, drawn by his ghostly glow. The creeper hissed and scuttled away. Tommy resisted the urge to flip it off, instead closing his eyes and bracing himself. Puffy's voice echoed in the back of his mind.

"Breathe. Stay grounded. Be open to admitting when you're wrong, but recognize when you were in the right."

Tommy breathed. Tommy grounded himself. Tommy considered what Niki had said.

"YOU'RE SO SELFISH AND STUPID AND YOU JUST DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO AND YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES! YOU USE PEOPLE AND THROW THEM AWAY WHEN YOU DON'T NEED THEM ANYMORE! YOU LEFT ME IN MANBERG, LEFT ME WITH SCHLATT WHEN YOU KNEW WHAT HE WOULD DO TO ME!"

"You started so many conflicts, all because you couldn't let go of two stupid fucking discs. How many people suffered for your petty power struggles? How many people died?!"

It was tempting to blame himself. To take Niki's accusations to heart and fall into self-loathing. But Tommy hadn't lived through countless years of war, hadn't gone through several recovery arcs, hadn't scheduled so many sessions with Puffy - just to forget everything he'd learned. So instead he wrangled his thoughts into submission and looked, really looked, at the accusations.

First things first. Abandoning her in L'Manberg. That was. . . true, to some extent. In Pogtopia, neither he nor Wilbur had ever considered contacting her or checking how she was doing. Given that both Fundy and Tubbo had been recruited into the Schlatt administration, she must have felt hurt and betrayed and alone. From what Tommy could recall, Schlatt had targeted her, taxing her to the point where she nearly had to close her bakery. It was understandable that she'd wished to be in Pogtopia instead.

At the same time. . . Niki could have left Manberg, could've messaged Tommy or Wilbur for Pogtopia's coordinates and joined them. After all, if Tubbo could sneak out of Manberg, why couldn't she? Yes, both he and Wilbur had left her behind in their mad dash from Manberg-- but their lives had been on the line, and they'd left Fundy and Tubbo behind as well.

And even if they had taken Niki. . . it likely wouldn't have been the way she envisioned. (Unless her joining did change something-- would Niki's presence prevent Wilbur from descending into madness? He shook off that line of thought and stowed it away for later.) Point was, Pogtopia hadn't been the greatest experience of Tommy's life. Nowhere near as bad as Exile, but-- well. He still had nightmares sometimes.

Then there were the discs. He'd given them up so L'Manberg could have independence, and he'd spent a lot of time trying to get them back - but that conflict hadn't really involved anyone except him and Dream. Yeah, Tubbo got dragged in at the end of it - but most of the wars were centered around L'Manberg, not the discs.

That being said, Tommy had to admit that his actions had been a pretty big catalyst for a lot of the events on the server. Antagonizing Dream had been a bad idea from the start, and yeah, he'd been a teenager, but that didn't excuse the role he'd played in turning the server into a bloody warzone. Kids on Earth-adjacent servers didn't walk away from jail time just because they were kids. He'd broken Dream's rules, purposefully provoked him again and again. Without his presence, the server would be very different from what it was today.

However, he wasn't the only one at fault - nearly everyone had a part to play in the conflict that followed. He and Dream had certainly had a bigger role in it than others, but Wilbur, Schlatt - heck, even Technoblade - had their fair share of blame. The only difference was that some people faced consequences.

Niki had been hurt, and she'd responded like everyone else on the server - by lashing out at the convenient scapegoat. Schlatt and Wilbur were dead, Dream was inaccessible. . . and so she'd focused her rage on Tommy.

Tommy knew that at the very least, he owed her an apology - even an explanation, if she'd be willing to listen to it. But he didn't think he deserved to be murdered. At the very least, Tubbo didn't deserve to live with the guilt (because Tubbo would blame himself, idiot that he was).

Unfortunately, Tommy also knew that he needed to talk to Jack. While Niki's motives for killing him were clear, Jack's were essentially one giant question mark. Tommy wasn't quite sure why Jack hated him, but if this loop had taught him anything, the best way to find out would be to ask upfront - and this was a golden opportunity to do it. So he'd have to get it over with as quickly as possible, then get revived and head to Snowchester to before Tubbo did something drastic. Like blowing half the server into oblivion.

With a put-upon sigh, Tommy heaved himself off the floor and set off in search of Jack.

Loop Notes
161. Tommy and Dream were very careful to keep that trio far, far apart in the future. Especially in loops where chaos became the norm on the server (see: Chapter 24, 117).
162. Turns out the allium's special property was to smell like chorus fruit. Ranboo couldn't remember why the flower felt like home, but he kept it in his inventory and took it everywhere he went.