46. the adventures of dreaxter, pt. 5 (credit to curry_powder) 

"Seriously," Tommy deadpanned. "Where the fuck do you get so much glitter."

"I said, I have my sources," Dream muttered, inspecting their handiwork. "Wait, I think this spot needs a bit more. "

"That's not an answer," Tommy grumbled. He stalked over, unscrewed another jar of edible glitter, and threw it all over the casino wall. "Do I even want to know?"

"Do you?" Dream returned unhelpfully. Tommy rolled his eyes as he screwed the jar lid back on, then surveyed their handiwork.

"Think we're done?"

"Unless you want to completely bury Las Nevadas, then yeah, I think this is enough."

"Pog."

"What the fuck?"

Teenager and ghost turned around to see Quackity staring at them. Tommy waved, realized he was still holding the incriminating jar, and hastily shoved it into his inventory. "Heyyyyy, big Q."

"What the fuck," Quackity repeated. He gestured at the casino wall, the ground beneath them, and at the Needle in the distance. All three, along with the rest of Las Nevadas, were blanketed in slightly sticky (for the vertical surfaces), edible glitter. "I-- what-- did you do this?"

"Nope," Tommy lied. "It was like this when we got here."

Quackity looked skeptical. Which was understandable, because as far as lies went, this wasn't exactly Tommy's finest. Thankfully, Dream chose that moment to step in.

"Quackity!" he chirped. The casino owner instantly went three shades paler. "Hi! How're you doing?"

"You're a ghost?" Quackity blurted, then shut his eyes and shook his head. "Fuck, of course you'd come back to haunt us."

"Hey, Dreaxter's not that bad," Tommy butted in. "Still kinda a bitch, but on the level of bitchiness, he's nowhere near Dream."

"Aw thanks, Tommy!" Dreaxter cheered, even as he sent Tommy a look that promised certain death. Tommy was completely unaffected, having long grown immune to The Look.

Quackity paused, a calculating look in his eyes. "You. . . you're not Dream?"

"No," the ghost denied vehemently. "Dream was mean. Or, at least everyone told me he was. . ."

"You don't remember what Dream did?"

Dreaxter shrugged. "I forgot a lot of stuff. Speaking of, where did you get that scar? It looks really cool!"

Tommy winced. Dreaxter really knew how to hit the wrong buttons.

Quackity's hands clenched and unclenched, like he was forcing himself to remain calm. "Thanks," he gritted out. Instead of answering Dream's question, he changed the subject. "So what the hell are you doing in Las Nevadas? Why the fuck did you cover everything with-- with glitter?"

"We didn't cover everything with glitter," Tommy protested. "I told you, it was already like that when we got here."

"Bullshit," Quackity deadpanned.

"I'm serious."

"Tommy, the two of you are literally the only ones here--"

"What, big Q, do you not exist?"

"You know what I fucking mean! And why the hell would I cover my own nation in glitter?!"

"It's a stylistic choice."

"For fuck's sake--"

Meanwhile, Dreaxter had wandered over to the casino wall. He stared at it for a long moment, then leaned forward and licked it. Quackity stuttered in the middle of his sentence and stopped to stare at the ghost.

Tommy noticed the pause. "What?" He followed his gaze. "Dreaxter, don't lick walls. It's bad for you."

Dreaxter shrugged and licked the casino wall again. Quackity made a noise like a dying seal.

"The glitter tastes good," the ghost explained. "I'm already dead, it's not like I'll get sick."

"What-- what the fuck," Quackity spluttered. "What the fuck is wrong with you."

"It's edible glitter. And I know that because I tried some of it, not because I was the one who put it there," Tommy clarified. "Definitely not me. Yeah."

Quackity just stared wordlessly at them, performing a human rendition of the Blue Screen of Death. Tommy laughed nervously and grabbed Dreaxter by the arm. "We'll be on our way now, big Q! Uh, big man things to do, people to traumatize-- nice talking to you seeyouaroundbye!"

47. lava, pt. 4 

Tommy stared out at the crater that lay before him. Clouds gathered in the sky, heavy with rain.

The first time, he'd felt anger. So much anger, and grief, and hatred for Dream and Philza and Technoblade.

Now, after seeing L'Manberg destroyed for the hundredth time, he just felt numb. It would get fixed by the next reset, anyways. There was no point wasting time feeling bad about it.

But Ghostbur. No matter how many times he looped, Ghostbur's reaction always shook him to the core. The ghost was floating at the edge of the crater, blank-faced, streaks of blue dripping down his cheeks.

"I take it back," he said quietly. "Tommy, I take it back. I. . . I want you to bring me back to life."

Tommy swallowed. "Ghostbur. . ."

Ghostbur turned to him, face still horribly expressionless. More blue welled in his colorless eyes. "It's gone, Tommy. It's all gone."

"Don't. . ." Tommy croaked. His mouth was dry. "It's going to be okay, Ghostbur. It's not. . . L'Manberg is gone, but the people are still here. As long as we're alive, as long as we're here, L'Manberg will live on."

"It's not the same," Ghostbur whispered.

"It's not," Tommy agreed quietly. "But it's something."

Tubbo snorted to his left, eyeing the smoking crater. "Better than nothing, right?" he asked with a touch of bitterness. Ranboo, standing a little ways behind him, shifted uneasily and said nothing.

"Fuck Dream," Quackity muttered. He looked up at the obsidian grid above them. "Fuck Technoblade. Fuck Philza."

"It's not the end," Tommy snapped. "We'll fuckin' survive."

"L'Manberg is a hole in the ground, Tommy!" Tubbo shouted, rounding on him. "This is the third time it's been destroyed. It's gone. Dead!"

"But we're alive, aren't we?!" Tommy shot back. "They killed our country but we're still here! Live to spite them, for fuck's sake! Don't give up!"

"I'm not giving up!" Tubbo snapped.

"Good!"

"Good!"

A long moment of silence followed the abrupt conclusion of their not-quite-argument. And then a voice sounded from high above them, causing several people to start in surprise. "The floor is lava!"

A pause. "Oh, fuck you, " Tommy swore with vitriol, slamming down two blocks and hopping onto them. "Seriously. Fuck. You. I hope you break your arm."

Dream cackled, lounging on the obsidian grid hanging over L'Manberg. "We did agree that we could do it anytime," he called. "What better time than after destroying your country?"

"I hate you," Tommy seethed. "You're an absolute fucking bastard-- "

"Thanks for the compliment, child-- " Dream shrieked in surprise as an arrow went whistling past his face. "HEY!"

"What the fuck?" Quackity asked nobody in particular. Dream beat a hasty retreat as Tommy reloaded his crossbow.

48.

"Snapmap. Sapmap. Napsap."

"My name is Sapnap ," Sapnap growled, not turning around. The ghost hovering over his shoulder nodded wisely.

"If you say so, Snapchat."

Sapnap's eye twitched. "It's Sapnap."

"That's what I said. Sanpap."

Sapnap set down the whetstone and turned around, jabbing the ghost with the tip of his newly sharpened sword. "Why don't you go bother someone else?"

"Nope," Toast refuted. "I'm not leaving until I get your name right."

Sapnap let out a hissing sigh, visibly trying to remain calm. "Sap. Nap. S-A-P-N-A-P," he gritted out. "Seriously, it's literally two syllables. Not that hard of a name to get."

"Spam."

"Okay, now I know you're fucking with me." Sapnap got to his feet, twirling the sword. "Shoo or I stab you."

Toast gasped, affronted. "You'd threaten a poor ghost like me? Snapple, I thought we were friends!"

"You're not a 'poor' anything!" Sapnap snapped. "You're a fucking menace. Go find someone else to haunt. Dream killed you, right? Go bother him!"

"But Subpoena, I'm just trying to get your name right!"

"That's not even close!"

49. adoption arc, pt. 4 

"What the fuck."

"Hi," Ranboo said nervously. "Uh. I'm Ranboo? I'm new here."

"What the fuck," the blonde boy repeated, staring blankly at him. His shorter companion elbowed him in the ribs and stepped forward, holding out a hand.

"Hey, I'm Tubbo!" he chirped cheerily. "That's Tommy. Sorry about him, he's kinda bad at social interaction."

"Excuse you?!" The tall blonde-- Tommy cut in. "I'm the fucking best at social in- inter- intra--"

"Interaction," Tubbo supplied.

"--interaction! Don't listen to Tubbo, he spouts lies and slander--"

"I speak the truth," Tubbo declared. "Trust me, Rambo."

Ranboo smiled nervously. "Uh, my name's. Um. Ranboo."

Tubbo winced. "Whoops, sorry. Ranboo."

"Ranboob," Tommy added, an evil grin spreading across his face. It quickly disappeared when Tubbo stepped on his foot.

"Don't scare off the fresh meat," Tubbo chided, ignoring Ranboo's questioning mutter of "fresh meat?" He turned to Ranboo, and then holy moly he was literally right next to him Ranboo hadn't even seen him move how? "Wow, Tommy," he said, staring up at Ranboo. "I think he's even taller than you."

"Uh. . . th-thanks?" Ranboo stuttered, still trying to figure out how Tubbo had gotten up in his face without him noticing. Tubbo beamed at him, then looked back at Tommy, who was balancing on one foot and rubbing the one Tubbo had stepped on with a grimace on his face.

"Height check!" Tubbo called.

"Fuck off," Tommy snapped. Oh boy. Ranboo hoped he hadn't upset him.

Nah, who was he kidding? Tommy probably hated him already.

"Tommy," Tubbo chirped. There was a note of warning in his voice. "Height check."

Tommy looked up, looked at Ranboo, then rolled his eyes and straightened up. Ranboo shrunk into himself a bit as the human stalked over, muttering something under his breath. He was pretty tall for a non-hybrid, all things considered. He also didn't seem very happy at the moment.

Ranboo ducked his head in an attempt to seem smaller. Maybe if Tubbo said they were the same height, Tommy wouldn't get mad?

"Oh for fuck's sake," Tommy grumbled as Tubbo stepped back to assess their heights. "Stand up, man. You're gonna get back problems with posture like that."

Ranboo blinked. "I-- sorry?"

"Stand up," Tommy repeated. "Don't fold in on yourself like that. You're tall, be proud of it."

Ranboo hesitantly straightened up. Tommy smirked up at him.

"That's more like it," he declared. "Prime, you're absolutely fucking massive. What the hell do you eat?"

Ranboo shuffled nervously. "I'm, uh. Half enderman."

"Explains a lot," Tommy muttered. "You comfortable with eye contact?"

Ranboo blinked in surprise. Nobody. . . nobody had ever asked him that before, actually. People usually reacted pretty negatively when they found out he was a hostile mob hybrid. But Tommy and Tubbo weren't looking at him like they expected him to suddenly go feral. No, Tommy had asked if Ranboo was comfortable with eye contact.

Maybe he'd misjudged Tommy.

Ranboo felt a bit of his nervousness dissipate. "Uh, yeah. It, it bothers me sometimes, when I'm, uh, really emotional, but, uh, just, like this is fine."

Tommy nodded. "Got it, big man." Then he paused, face screwing up like he'd bitten a lemon. "I'm still the bigger man, of course."

"And I'm the biggest man of all!" Tubbo called.

Tommy opened his mouth to argue, paused, then shrugged. "And Tubbo is the biggest man of them all."

Tubbo cheered, and Ranboo was surprised to find himself smiling. Maybe this server wouldn't be so bad after all.

~~~

"Why the fuck is Ranboo on the server?!"

"I invited him," Dream said, like he saw nothing wrong with that.

"Dream, he joined after the Sixteenth last time."

"I tracked him down and invited him earlier than I did in loop zero," Dream amended.

Tommy stared at him. "Why?"

Dream shrugged. "I did say I was going to adopt all the minors, didn't I? Might as well get a head start."

50. (inspired by Havis)

"We need a distraction," Wilbur hissed. He ducked as another arrow went flying over their heads. "Something to get them off our backs long enough for us to get behind them."

Tommy grinned. "I got this," he assured them. Ignoring Tubbo's cry of "Wait!" he hopped out from behind the wall, sidestepping an arrow that would have taken his eye out.

"Dad! Stop shooting for one fucking second and listen to me!"

The effect was instantaneous. Dream dropped his bow, gaping at him. Meanwhile, George, Sapnap and Punz all glanced at each other before simultaneously swiveling to stare at Dream.

"I-- you-- what?" Dream spluttered.

Tommy fought hard to keep a serious expression on his face. "Dad," he repeated, crossing his arms. "Seriously. Just let us get our independence--"

"Wait wait wait wait," Sapnap interrupted, stepping in between the two of them. "You-- he-- what the fuck?"

Tommy could feel his poker face slowly cracking. "He adopted me a while back," he informed the group.

"Not-- not as your dad!" Dream shrieked. His ears had gone bright red. "Don't-- what the hell-- why the hell--"

Tommy nodded. "You did adopt me. Which makes you my dad."

"You adopted Tommy?" George demanded, rounding on Dream. "Why didn't you tell us?!"

"I'm not his dad," Dream protested weakly.

Tommy gasped, eyes welling up with crocodile tears. "You. . . you don't want me?"

"Wait wait wait no!" Dream cried as Sapnap's eyes narrowed. "No, I meant that I--"

"That's kinda fucked up," Tommy continued, bulldozing right through his argument. "I mean, you were the one that wanted to adopt me. And now you're just gonna abandon me?"

"Dream!" George scolded. Dream let out something between a hysterical laugh and a wail of despair, sinking to his knees and burying his face in his hands.

At that moment, Wilbur and the other revolutionaries burst out of the treeline behind the Dream SMP fighters. Dream and the others whipped around, but it was already too late. With the element of surprise on their side, the L'Manbergians easily cut them down. Tommy finally let his affronted expression drop, collapsing to the ground in a fit of cackling.

"Oh my fucking Prime," he wheezed. "Did you-- did you see his face--"

He was interrupted by Wilbur, who dropped down to his knees in front of him, placed his hands on his shoulders, and asked very seriously, "Tommy, did Dream adopt you?"

Tommy snorted. "Only kinda," he replied dismissively. "It'll be a cold day in the Nether before I call him 'dad' unironically."

"Wait, wait, wait," Fundy cut in. "You said 'only kinda'-- that wasn't-- that wasn't a no. "

Tommy sighed. "It's a long story," was all he said. "A really long story."

Loop Notes
48. Every DSMP fanfiction writer knows the pain of Sapnap's name autocorrecting to 'Subpoena'.
49. Dream's speedrunning his adoption arc. In the meantime, Tommy's going to help Ranboo grow a backbone.
50. Tommy gets revenge for the adoption arc. And it really is a long story, involving temporal shenanigans and lots of chaos.