Richelle

Everyday. Every single fucking day I sit here wondering why. I'm so in love with him. I'm in love with Noah Erlick. My whole life revolves around him. I can't sleep, I can't eat and I can't breathe because I'm so in love with him. But he will never feel the same way.
I am sat on my bathroom floor, as I always am, thinking about how I could be so stupid. I cut myself, terribly. Everyday.
Today.... it's much worse, I think this is it. This is the end of Richelle Nolet. You're probably wondering why I cut as I have yet to explain. Here it goes...

Noah and I were best friends, and I fell in love with him, deeply. I mean, how could I not love him? He's the perfect guy for me, but I'm not the perfect girl for him. It's like I'm meant to be alone because there's no way I can love another human as much as I love him.
I told my close friend, Giselle, how I felt about him. That was probably my biggest mistake. Let's just say... Giselle and I are no longer friends. Let's just say she hates me, everyone from the next step hates me now. Anyway, Giselle told me to tell Noah how I felt because she was certain he felt the same way. I had a feeling he liked me, it was in our chemistry you know? It was like magic every time we made eye contact. I thought there was definitely something there. So one day, practice was over and everyone was settling down when I pulled Noah aside to talk to him. I poured my heart out to him and he hugged me. It felt so nice, little did i know that would be our last hug. "Richie, I have been waiting for you to say that for such a long time. But I can't be with you, you're too short and too ugly to be my girlfriend. You're not even a good dancer so what are you good for?" Said Noah walking away from me and over to Giselle. He put his arm over Giselle's shoulder and kissed her cheek. That's when my heart shattered. How could Giselle do this to me? "Look everyone, Richelle tried to steal my boyfriend!" Yelled Giselle so all the a troupe could hear. There was a lot of murmuring and nasty comments being made about me. So I left. I never looked back.

To this day, as I'm sitting in a pool of my blood, I'm still in love with him. Crazy right? Maybe I'm just a crazy person. Maybe all the things Noah said about me were true and everyone would be happier if I were dead. That's when I decided... that I would not stop the bleeding. My parents and sister were at a dance competition over 6 hours away, they won't stop me.

My eyes began to blur as the door came pounding open. "Mom?" I ask opening my eyes more. It was definitely not my mom.
"N-Noah?" I ask beginning to cry. "Oh my god Richie why would you do this to yourself!" He screamed while crying. He ran over to me and placed towels on my arms to stop them from bleeding. His jeans and hands were now covered in my blood. "I'm calling the hospital" he said about to get up. "NO!" I shouted with as much energy as I could muster. "Richie we have to get you hel-" "Noah, don't! just let me die!" I pleaded. "Richie I would never do that!" He said picking up the phone. "FINE! Just don't call the hospital, bandage me up and give me some water" I cried. He sat there pondering for a moment, until minutes later my arms were bandaged and I was being carried to my living room. He gave me water and food and gave me a big hug while crying his eyes out. Why does he care? Hours went by and Noah still didn't leave, I was feeling a lot better.
"Richie why did you do this to yourself" said Noah holding my hand with this red puffy eyes staring into mine. "Because you hate me and I'm in love with you. Everyone at the studio hates me and I miss them. Because you said it yourself, I'm not a good dancer, I'm ugly and I'm worthless. Plus you're with Giselle and she's much better than me at everything. Wait a minute why were you even here in the first place?" I ask
" Richelle I love you more than life itself, don't you ever think that you're worthless because you're worth everything to me. Don't ever think that you're ugly because you're the most stunning person to ever walk this planet . Don't ever think that you're not a good dancer because you're the best there ever was... and don't you ever think for even a second that Giselle is better than you, she's the most evil person anyone has ever met and I hate her" Noah said getting angry at the last part.
This is all I've wanted to hear for years! Noah loves me.
"Then why did you say all those things to me when I poured my heart out to you? And why did you get with Giselle if she's the most evil person you've ever met and it hurts me? Why Noah?" I ask getting some strength back.
"Giselle came to me a few days before you told me how you felt, I told her I felt the exact same way about you. Giselle told me I had to reject you and make everyone hate you otherwise she'd hurt you. I couldn't let anything happen to you so I went along with it. Richelle, I am so sorry. I knew you were hurting yet I didn't think it was this bad, words cannot describe how sorry I am" he said pulling me onto his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my head into the crook of his neck. I missed this.
"The only reason I'm here is because Giselle can't hurt you anymore, she is in a psychiatric facility. I came rushing here to tell you the news and to confess my love for you Richelle. I'm so glad I did otherwise I would have lost you forever. The truth is, if you died today, I wouldn't have been alive tomorrow, I love you that much"
"Noah, I love you"
"Not as much as I love you"