*°࿐ "i dunno, i just like you" *ೃ༄

park jimin.

a broken boy, so they said.

growing up, he never felt anything. his parents realised the way he was and tried to send him to countless hospitals, doctors and child therapists in order to "fix him".

but nothing worked.

they spoiled him with material things as he grew up, wanting him to be happy. wanting him to feel something.

but, again, nothing worked.

in the end, they accepted it. they accepted the fact that their child would never be normal.

he is now seventeen years old, the year is 2021 and he lives in his own small house that his parents payed off for him. they check up on him once in a while.

they let him live on his own because they couldn't bare seeing his face everyday.

they couldn't even look their own son in the eye while knowing that he's broken beyond repair.

his parents sent him away to live on his own in the beginning of his softmore year, sending him expensive organic food that jimin sometimes forgot to eat and an allowance that could probably keep a roof over a family of four.

his parents were on the wealthier side.

that's why they were shocked and disheartened to find that no matter how much they paid different doctors, they couldn't find a cure for their son.

this is how they learnt that money doesn't solve everything.

even before his parents sent him away, they avoided him like the plague.

and so, jimin lived his highschool and even middle school years in isolation.

he wished he could say he felt tired and upset by it but, to be honest, he didn't feel any particular way.

he never did.

he was always...

well, indifferent.

then he met yoongi.

min yoongi was a special boy.

always polite, always kind, always helpful. even at times where he didn't want to be.

selfless was an understatement.

not to mention, excruciatingly handsome.

when jimin first saw yoongi pass by him in the hallway, it was like buckets of colourful paint had been poured all over his monochrome world.

it was the first time he had blushed.

the first time his heart fluttered.

the first time his hands randomly got sweaty.

the first time he got nervous.

the first time he shakily checked his appearance.

he didn't know what it was at first. he would've asked his mother but he wasn't great at talking to her.

he decided to search it on google instead.

apparently, he had a crush.

a crush on min yoongi.

it started off innocent enough.

sighing dreamily when he walked by, staring at him from afar, doodling little hearts with both their names in them, writing him love notes that he'd never send, leaving him home-made lunch without telling him who prepared it.

then it became something more.

something different.

following him home, stealing his files from the principal's office, collecting tiny strands of his hair when he dozed off in class, grabbing his gum wrappers when he wasn't looking, watching him at basketball practice when he had no idea he was there.

jimin didn't care if it was strange.

he wasn't hurting anybody so it was harmless.

at least, it was so far.

jimin knew that yoongi was desired by many in their school.

however, he didn't care.

for now, at least.

as long as they never made a move.

god help anyone who did.

jimin didn't know what he'd do to them yet but he knew this much: it wouldn't be pretty.

the move was jimin's to make and jimin's only.

he was in charge.

in charge of yoongi.

in charge of who'd be allowed to receive his love.

and that position was reserved.

reserved for jimin himself.

_______________________

monday 4th of february 2020

dear diary,

i know i'm strange to them.

when they torment me i feel nothing however when they do such things to other kids those kids are distraught.

i don't understand it.

it's merely inconvenient so why do they become so upset?

they seem to feel a lot of different things but i don't get it.

why?

why is that and why don't i?

someone could tell me great news but i won't smile or feel happy for them.

someone could tell me bad news but i won't cry or feel pity.

i could lie right to someone's face and i won't even stutter, let alone feel guilty.

i could kill something but i wouldn't be disgusted or feel terrible.

i killed every pet my parents ever bought me just because i wanted to...

feel.

something.

anything.

but in the end, i felt nothing.

i even tried harming my own self.

but still nothing.

then, i gave up.

"i guess i'll always feel empty" is what i thought.

until i met you.

him.

yoongi.

the most absolutely perfect thing alive.

min yoongi.

he's so beautiful, so smart, so kind.

my min yoongi.

he's mine.

he doesn't know that yet but he will soon enough.

once other people stop trying to take him from me.

they want to ruin him.

to damage him.

to taint him.

he's too good for them.

they're nothing compared to him.

so am i, everyone is.

but the difference between me and them is that i won't destroy him. they will.

they could never worship him the way i do.

they like him but i love him.

they want him but i need him.

i won't let them harm him.

he made me feel for the first time.

love.

it was all i needed.

however...

now i feel other things.

things that could put other people in danger.

anger.

hatred.

disgust.

if they try to steal him from me, only the gods know what will happen to them.

i'll do anything to keep them away from him.

no matter how extreme.

it's not like i'd feel bad.

i must have him.

there's no other option.

if i can't have him, no one else can.

nothing else matters.

no one else matters.

yoongi will be mine.

he doesn't have a choice.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

•1023 words
•not edited or proof-read
•HEYYY Y'ALL
•so, i got bored and decided to start this book since it's been sitting here dead since like may or something
•so yeah, here's the first chapter
•updates for his are gonna be really slow since "edgy" and "my little angel" are my top priorities
•after those two are done, this book along with "tics?" will move to the top of my priority list
•if you're reading this, thank youuuu
•this book is bouta be a ride
•remember, credits to jazmin bean's song "yandere" for the song quotes at the beginning of each chapter
•STAY SAFE!!!
•love you <333

peace out xoxo,

nixy.