*Beep*Beep*

Here goes my most hateful sound. It means I have to get up from this lovely, beautiful, warm bed and go out in a cold, heartless world. Not fair.

I tried to hit the snooze button but I accidentally hit the alarm and it fell on the floor.

"Damn it! I hate when this happens." Now I have to get up to turn off the alarm.

I didn't remove my blanket and rolled on the floor to see where's the alarm. It didn't help that my eyes are still half opened.

I finally found it and turned it off. I slowly walked to the bathroom. I looked, and I felt like a walking blanket with a zombies head.

*achoo*

"Shit," I said while slowly making breakfast and all those morning routines.

I made a hot tea and put it in a bottle for classes. "I won't go down without a fight. If I get a cold, I'm not going down alone!" I said and laughed a little at what I said. I'm crazy. This all "living alone" thing is not good for me.

"Shit!!" I looked at the clock and saw I'm gonna be late on a bus. I ran out without even checking if I have everything.

I made it in time. The bus was warm and I wanted the ride to never end. Smiling I looked at the window.

Then, on one of the bus stops came a lot of people and they were all pushing one another for a need for space. They all pushed me and my face became one with a window. You know what, forget what I said, I want this to be over as soon as possible.

Somehow surviving, the bus ended well but as I walked out of it, I remembered I forgot a scarf. I facepalmed myself and tried to cover my neck with my coat.

*Achoo*Achoo*

I walked to the doors of my college. I was wiping my nose when I heard someone in front of me sneezing.

I looked up and saw that boy. Honestly, I'm surprised that I'm not surprised to see him. I looked at him sneezing and laughing. Not for long, because I sneezed too.

We looked at each other and smiled to one another. We didn't have time to stop and talk because we had classes. As we passed by one another, he patted me on a head and I gave him a nose spray.

I know, just hang in there! I told him with my look, trying to comfort him.

He smiled. Same. We are idiots, aren't we? We both laughed but stopped because our throats hurt.

We waved to one another and then I lost sight of him.

We had a Psychology of communication. It could be the best subject but the teacher is kind of boring. Her name is Evergreen. I actually don't know her last name, but I think no one does. She has her good moments but most of the time she talks really fast, don't listen to us and she complains about everything.

Today we talked about inner thoughts, why we have them, what can we do with them, do they help us or not and so on.

It was really interesting. Professor Evergreen said some thought-provoking stuff which may be or may not be true.

She said that our thoughts about everything around us are made the millisecond after we see it the first time. That makes sense and I knew that already, but she also said that our brain is doing a lot of stuff without us knowing. That include sending some emotions or thoughts into our body so it can protect us from something he thought would harm us. But if we analyze ourselves and what we feel, then we shall understand ourselves better. For example, how do we feel emotions?

Well, first of all, there has to be some stimulus through our sense perception. With our senses, we collect information about the situation. The important thing is how we interpret the collected information because that way we give it a meaning. That step is crucial for the feeling we would felt because when we give the meaning to the information, it becomes an emotion. Then, we decide how we are gonna act and how will we show that emotion. So the most important thing for us to feel something is our interpretation of the situation and giving it the meaning.

And that got me thinking, does that mean I estimated my life as unimportant because I don't really care about anything. But then, what was that happiness the other day on the rain? How did I estimate that situation......

And maybe I feel neutral because I ignored all my emotions most of my life? So now my brain doesn't interprate informations about what emotion is "right" for the situation......?

Then the other thing Evergreen said that made me rethink everything. She said that it's sad that no one teaches us to talk to ourselves (in a sense that we analyze our thoughts and emotions trying to figure out why are they there). She also said that almost everyone blames other people for what we feel and that that's wrong. Most of the time, we are in control of our emotions and we decide how we're gonna act and feel in a given situation. I kind of agree and disagree with that. It could be true that our interpretation of the situation is connected with how we feel, but it also depends on how we learned about emotions.

It is known that children imitate grown-ups trying to learn their way of doing stuff. So if a parent hides his emotions then a child could not learn how to express happiness, sadness or any other emotion. And it looks like Evergreen agrees with me.

"But we have to have in mind in what surroundings did the child grow up. If he or she observed that their parents didn't show their emotions, then the child could make a wrong conclusion, and that is that hiding emotions were the right thing to do because "their parents did it"." she finished.

Looking at the class, checking if anyone is following her. I knew nobody listened to her, but she saw me listening to her every word, and writing everything down. She smiled a little and continue.

"So suppression and denial of our emotions can do more harm than good. If we don't say or show how we actually feel, the interlocutor won't know what is going on with us. That can endanger the relationship with people close to us. How would you feel if a close friend, or a family member, in some stressful situation, didn't react at all, didn't even flinch he or she just had a still face. And if asked, he/she would say he/she is fine?"

I thought for a moment and then raise a hand.

"Yes, Lucy," she said with a happy voice.

"I understand that holding your emotions hidden is, in a way, bad, but isn't it better to not show anything in a stressful situation because someone has to think straight and collected, and not to forget that, hiding emotions can avoid unnecessary arguments," I said.

"So you would rather run away and avoid solving the problem?" Evergreen asked with a little smile on a face. I gave it some thoughts then answered.

"It may be running away, but only if we never get back to the problem and solve it. But, on the other hand, there is a high possibility that we will run away the second time we encounter the same situation."

"The situation is really complex because we actually don't know how we feel. And we have a really small vocabulary for explaining what we feel. Sometimes it's easier to not try to explain what we feel because, first, we don't know how to explain and second, we don't know how will our words be understood."

"Then what do we do? If we don't know how to explain what we feel, how can we expect to improve relationships with others?" Someone behind me asked. I decided not to talk anymore and just listened.

"We can start by analyzing and discriminating feelings from one another. With understanding ourselves we can understand others. And by "talking to ourselves" we can figure out what and why we feel the way we feel. We can openly talk about those feeling with our closed ones to see if they feel the same or different. Either way is fine, as long as we talk to each other, sincerely. But," Evergreen looked at her watch, "this is all for today. I hope I didn't confuse you and thank you for participating. See you next time." She said, packed her stuff and left in a hurry.

I started to slowly pack my stuff.

*Achoo*

The lecture was so interesting I forgot about my soon-to-be-cold. I wiped my nose and headed to the library. I wanted to write everything that I remembered from the lecture before I forgot it all. I tried to write, but my nose and throat wouldn't let me be. It hurt so bad and I couldn't concentrate. This is useless. Better go home and drink warm drink.

I walked out of the library. From the corner of my eye, I saw someone leaning against the wall. As I was about to pass by him, the figure grabbed my hand.

"Hey!" it's Pinky! I was, somehow, very happy to see him.

"Hey, didn't see you there," I said, with a little smile on my face.

"I saw you in there, suffering, trying to study. I guessed you wouldn't be there long so I decided to wait for you." He smiled a really cute and innocent smile.

"Yeah, you're right. There is no point in studying if you're not feeling well." I smiled. He was still holding my hand, but neither of us said anything, either we forgot about it, or we just didn't want to let go.

Is this feeling happiness? I feel so much better when he is around, why? I have to analyze this! Is it because he's hot, because he is a damn hottie! Is it because he is nice to me? Or because he is crazy like me? They say that crazy people can always say who is of their kind.

I must have made a really serious, "thinking" face because I felt something pressing on my forehead, between my eyes. I looked up and saw Pinky smiling.

"Whatever you think about so hard, stop it or your face will freeze like that!" he smiled. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He's weird.

"If it freezes like that, then maybe I would look like some philosopher thinking about the meaning of life," I said, purposely frowning and making a pose of a thinker.

"You're forgetting that you don't look like anything. You only look like someone really stupid!" He said, laughing at me.

"At least that's better than looking like a failure," I said smiling proudly.

"Ugh, that was low," he said, putting his hand over his heart imitating like someone hit him in the heart. I just smiled.

"So, how is your cold doing?" I asked. I showed him a signal to start walking towards the exit. He nodded.

"Its doing really fine. She loves me very much and won't live me alone." He said.

"Aww, that's cute. It's good to have someone always there for you." I smiled. I had the urge to tap his sholder, but I decided not to do it.

"Yeah, but this is too much. I mean, she didn't show up for like years and now she expects me to just accept her back. Who knows when she's going to leave me again," he looked down towards the floor, acting as he was sad.

"Maybe it's time to let her go, for good. It's hard but this is not healthy for you." I said, trying not to laugh. "I decided today to let go of my cold." I looked up, poetically. Pinky turned toward me, surprised.

"You...did...that? That must've been hard! How are you holding?" He asked me.

"It's slowly getting better. It still feels like he is here with me, but with time passing by, he is slowly fading away," I pretended to wipe a tear from my eye. Then we looked at each other and started to laugh like crazy.

I'm happy.

In reality, this wasn't really funny, but for some reason, we laughed our butts out.

"Oh, we are stupid!" I said between laughter.

"It sounds better if you say we are special," he said, wiping the tears from laughing.

"You're right. We are fabulously special." I said with a smile. As I looked around, I saw we were at a bus stop. I was kind of sad that our time is over but I was also happy because I got a feeling we will be seeing each other soon.

"Oh, almost forgot to give you this," Pinky said while going through his bag. He stopped as he found something. "Here!" he said proudly. In his hand was a bottle of a warm tea.

"For me?" I asked, not believing someone would ever give me something so caring.

"No, it's for that hot lady over there. I was just practising how to approach her," as he said that, I felt sad.

"Oh," I said.

"Dummy," I heard him say and I looked up. "it's for you, and only you." He said smiling. "See, it even has your name." he showed me to the part of the bottle where it was written, "Belongs to Weirdo". I playfully punched him in a shoulder smiling.

"That's not my name, Pinky!" I said. We both laughed but then we stopped. We looked at each other with surprise, realizing how stupid we really were.

"You didn't tell me your name!" we said in unison.

"You didn't ask me!" again, at the same time. We started to laugh, again.

"How come we never asked for a name?" I said facepalming myself and still laughing.

"Told ya we were special," Pinky said laughing.

"One facepalm isn't enough to react on this situation," I said.

"Let me help you." He said as he slammed his palm into my forehead, covering my facepalm. Weird, I don't mind his touch.

We looked really stupid, but we enjoyed ourselves.

"I think this is still not enough," I said

"Nothing will be enough for our speciality," he said and I couldn't argue with that.

"So," He looked at me, "what is your name?" I smiled

"Lucy, and your name?"

"Natsu," he proudly said. We shook our hands.

"I'm glad to finally know who you are," Natsu said.

"Likewise. But I can't see you as anything else as Pinky," I stick out my tongue.

"Not fair! Then, I will call you Luce,"

"Luce?" I asked thinking about that nickname. I never did have a nickname before, but somehow this one sounds nice.

"We have a deal Pinky!" I said

"It's a deal, Luce!" we shook hands.

"And by the way, it's salmon, not pink."

"Yeah, whatever."