It was a day like any other. I woke up in a cold empty room again. Alone. I would never get used to this feeling. Feeling of freedom, but also the feeling of loneliness.

*Yawn*

Still sleepy I looked at my clock on the right side of my bed to see what time is it. 5:37AM. I tried going to sleep again but I wasn't tired anymore. After some time of snuggling in a warm bed, I decided to get out of that comfort to slowly pack my things for college. I staggered my way to the bathroom to take a quick shower and do all the normal things any normal human would do in the morning. After a hot shower, I stood in front of my mirror to wash my teeth. In a mirror, I saw a pair of brown eyes, without light in them. I have a short blond hair and a normal body.

My name is Lucy Heartfelia and I am 20 years old. I'm in the second year of college, studying psychology at Fairy Tail University. The Uni is really great and professors are awesome, more or less. People are kind of nice but I don't like to hang around anyone in particular. Maybe Levy, she is the only one I'm good with.

The thing about me is that I kind of have a neutral feeling for everything. My family is a little broken so I never got time to show my emotions. I live, well I lived, with my 2 years older brother Sting, father Jude and mother Lalya.

My father has a big turistic company and my mother is an actress and a professor on a Drama Academy. They are kind of famous but nothing big.

My brother was always a problematic child. Not in a way that he was bad kid, but in a way that he was always bullied for being "weird". He is not weird, he just like to fantasize about other realities, he likes to play games and read fantasy books.

When he gets home our father would teach him about business so he can take over the company. Our mother also put a pressure on him because she expected him to do perfect in anything. However, because of the bulling and the pressure he started to feel depressed and couldn't live up to their standards. He started to ditch classes, he had panic attacks and sleep paralyses. My parents became really worried and send him to all kinds of institutions for help. Now he is getting treatment for depression.

I was always "the good girl" - good grades, good maners and good with everyone. But that's what my parents thought I was. In reality, I would beat my brothers bullies everytime I saw them making fun of him. I stood up for the people who got bullied.
But, on the inside I was dying to be noticed. My parents didn't really talk to me or were interested in me because I wasn't the problem, and I didn't need their help.

But I did.

In the inside, I was dying for them to notice me, ask me how was my day and do I have someone I like, or if I need help with anything.
I was doing everything on my own.

How can I ask them for attention when my brother is the one suffering?

And with time, it became my habbit: to ignore what I'm feeling and not knowing what should I feel in some situations. But I don't mind. Nothing can hurt me this way.

I don't have anything I really like to do, I don't have the passion for anything particular. Everything I start, I get bored really quickly and give up on it. The only two things I didn't stop doing, and I hope I won't, ever, are reading and writing. I love it how books can take you to the other worlds and make you experience a different life. I always wanted to be someone else.

Also, writing. Whenever I would feel a little down or feel something I don't understand, I would write it down. It helped me to understand myself better and it gave me the feeling I officially got it out of my head. If something bothered me I would write it down, try to understand it and solved it. In my mind, I would check it "✅solved" and that way I stop thinking about it.

I also like to fantasize about what could happen today, who would I meet, what would we talk about and that kind of stuff. Even though I can't see myself in a relationship with someone (because I think I'm not capable of feeling that kind of emotions) I like to fantasize about it. Who knows, maybe my story is written by someone's fantasy and hope that something similar will happen. Or maybe someone who is trying to tell her story but is ashamed to do so, or she doesn't know who and how to tell.

Anyway, I finished doing morning stuff and started to make breakfast, looking at my apartment.

My apartment is not really big, but it's not small either. It was good enough for me. I have a small bedroom and a little bigger workroom where I study and spend most of my time. It has really old and big bed which is looking at my work desk. On the left side of my desk is a TV I rarely watch. Sometimes I would sleep on that bed because it was that comfortable, or I would be too tired to walk to my bed. Then, there is a really small bathroom with shower in it. I don't have a bath because it costs too much and I'm not in a really good position with money right now. The kitchen is also very small. There can be only two people at the same time, more than that and we wouldn't fit. But it is good enough for me and I don't plan to have any other human here.

About a year ago I moved here because of college. I lived with my mother Layla, father Jude and older brother Sting in a big house. My mother is really beautiful and she is a famous actress, and father...he is everywhere. Always traveling because of meetings and projects. So, we are kind of rich, that is why we have such big and beautiful house. But, it's funny because there is rarely anyone home, and even though there are a lot of people who live there, I always felt alone. Funny right?

As I grow up I was happy, I think. I had everything I wanted and to everyone, I was the lucky and happy child. But sometimes I would rather that we were poor and have a family than being rich and have...emptiness.

I glanced at the clock on the wall and saw it was already 7:10.

Fuck! It's already that late! I quickly finished my breakfast, put my favorite hood and pants and went out.

As I was on a bus I looked outside and try to remember what I have to do today.

Okay, classes finish at 1:30 PM, and the next starts at 4:15 PM, so that gives me 2 and something hours to go to the library and get something to eat, and after that, I could... As I was thinking about what I would do I didn't notice that the bus stopped.

"I'm sorry to inform you all but the bus is out of gas. You can wait here for another bus or something." The driver said. It was followed by groans from everyone on the bus.

Shit, I thought. I will be late.  I ran out of the bus and started to run in a direction of my college.

-30min later-

I walked into the building of my college trying to catch a breath. I looked at my clock.

"Great, I'm 15min late." I murmured and stood straight to catch my breath. As I was about to go to my class I bumped into someone.

"Ah, sorry," I said without looking up because I could only think about getting to my class.

"Nah it's okay." I heard him say. It was a really comfortable voice. Weird, I liked it. If I wasn't in a hurry maybe I would have stayed and talked to him a little longer just to hear his voice. Nah, just kidding. I'm not so good with talking to strangers.

I found my class and knocked on the door.

"Ms. Heartfilia, this is not your first time you were late. Explain yourself."

"I'm really sorry I'm late, professor. My bus ran out of gas." I looked apologetic at my favorite professor, Ms. Strauss.

"It's okay. You can sit."

"Thank you, professor."

She is teaching Psychology of childhood and adolescence. It is really interesting subject and the more I study it the more I understand why I am like I am.

"And don't forget to send me a literature for your seminar!" Ms. Strauss said as we started to pack our things. I was finishing my notes when I saw a shadow before me. I looked up and saw my friend Levy McGarden. She is also crazy about books and she got me to like series. She has short, wavy blue hair. She is not very tall so she is misunderstood as a child and because of that, I have a feeling that I want to protect her. Also because she is cute.

"Hey, Lucy! Ready to go to the library?" she asked me happily.

"Of course. I thought about that all day."

"Hehe, sure." she laughed. She didn't believe me that I was that happy to go and she was right. I like going to the library but today I don't feel like doing anything. I was just tired. I didn't get much sleep this past few days. Don't know why I have a problem falling asleep, and when I finally fall asleep it is hard to wake up and I'm never fully rested.

One explanation is that my body is reacting to emotions my brain can't recognize but are still there. And another explanation is that I'm fucked up and can't fall asleep because I'm thinking too much about stuff........Now that I think about it, those explanations are the same.

As we walked to the library, Levy's phone vibrated, signalizing that she got a message. She took out her phone from her pocket and looked at the message.

"Oh no, Lucy. Sorry, but I have to go." she looked at me with sad eyes.

"Why? Did something happened?" I asked worriedly.

"It's not something like that, but my mother came to town and she wants to hang out." she looked at me with apologetic look

"Don't look me like that, Levy. It is rare that your mother comes here, so go, my child, and have fun." I smiled.

"Then, I'm going. See you tomorrow!" She waved and ran out of the building and I went to the library. I found the spot at the back of the library, in a corner. I always liked hidden places, where no one can see me and no one knows where I am. It gives me the feeling of peace.

I put my books in front of me, put headphones in my ears, turn on the music and I was ready to study.

At some point, I heard someone talking, it was a similar voice of that boy from before,  but it was probably not directed at me so I ignored it.

After some time I heard my tummy growling so I picked my stuff and go out to eat, with headphones still in ears.

The cafeteria was almost full. Lucky for me, I found a good spot in front of the window. I put my food on a table. Before I sat to eat I removed all the chairs so no one can sit with me. It is just a little trick I discovered. If I don't have chairs no one can sit near me and no one will bother me by asking if the seat is taken. I know it's little arrogant and selfish to corrupt a whole table, but that is just how I am. I don't like too much attention nor communicating with people. It is funny that, despite that, I still want to be a psychologist.

I opened my book and started to read while I ate. No time wasted.

Then something happened, something I didn't expect to happen, ever.

Someone sat in front of me.

Confused, I looked at the man in front of me. He looked back at me, smiled and waved. I have to admit, he was handsome. He looked muscular, he was sitting and was still taller than me and he had really cool and.....unique hair. The thing is, his hair was pink, but even though the color was weird it kind of fitted him.
He also had a white scarf whitch kind of fitted him really well.

My expression was probably really weird because of the shock and confusion and he laughed. I couldn't hear his laughter because of the music and was too surprised to do anything about everything.

I saw his lips moving but no sound came. I looked at him confused and he laughed again mimicking that I put out the headphones.

"Oh right, sorry," I told him while turning off the music and placing my headphones in my pocket.

"So.....need anything?" I asked, trying to sound nice.

"Mmmm," he acted like he was thinking, "nope, no, I don't need anything, and you?" He asked, giving me that beautiful smile of his.

"I need to be alone, so could you please, maybe, sit somewhere else?" gosh, trying to be nice was hard. And I don't like to explain myself to people. He will probably ask me about chairs and why I don't like talking to other people. He continued to look at me with the same smile and simply said:

"No can do."

"And why not?" I asked, starting to feel awkward because of his intense staring and irritated because of his persistence.

"Because you bumped into me in the hall and just ran off somewhere."

"What?" I was confused. "That was you? I apologized for that!" I really wanted to go somewhere else.

"Yes, yes you did. But then what happened? I saw you sitting in the library and tried talking to you but you ignored me. You didn't even flinch when I talked, well, tried to talk to you." He was watching for my expression looking a little angry but the smile was still on his face.

Again, I probably had a really funny and confused look on my face because he started to laugh.

"Hahaha, I will forgive you for that because of how precious your expressions are."

"....I didn't hear anything. I had the music turned on. Sorry." Now I kind of felt bad. I don't want to communicate with people, but also I don't want to be hated, and hate is what you get when you ignore someone.

I looked down trying to think of something to do or say to make it up to him. I felt something on my head and surprised by that, I almost fell off my chair.

"Hahahahaha what was that reaction! Hahahaha" I looked at him with a shocked expression.

"Don't ever do that!" He fucking petted me! This time I was really angry. Not only did he scare me he also touched me. I'm not a very "touchy" person. I have my space and you have yours, no need to cross the line. I packed my things and stood up to leave. He saw me pack and immediately stopped laughing.

"Wait! I'm sorry. It was just a joke." He got up and came to me. Wow, he was really tall, like 20cm taller than me.

He almost looked sad.

"Never mind, it's okay," I told him while walking away. I heard him take a breath to say something but I wouldn't let him and said

"I must go now....am, classes and stuff." I didn't give him a chance to say anything more because I (almost) ran out of the cafeteria.

 ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

As I unlocked the door of my apartment a cold shiver run down through my body. I looked at the calendar.

"Well, it is time to turn on a heater," I turned it on, as well as my laptop and sat down on that big bad in my workroom. I tried concentrating on my assignment but my mind keeps on repeating the scene from the cafeteria.

"Gosh, now he is bothering me even at home," I told to no one in particular. But I have to admit, he was hot and it felt good to be noticed by someone that hot. Not to mention he wanted to be noticed by, no one, but me. How cool, weird and little creepy is that. It is true that saying "expect unexpectable" and I surely didn't expect something like that to happen to me.

Maybe to my good friend back home, Erza Scarlet. She is really beautiful with long red hair, great body, and perfect personality. Boys are obsessed with her. If you get to know her you would see that she is really funny and crazy, always ready to joke and fangirl with me because of imaginary characters or yaoi scenes in real life. Yeah, I confess, I'm fujoshi and I'm proud of it. Also she is the first person that I feel safe and relaxed. Like, I don't have to think about how to act or what to say. There is no judging, just fun and laughter. Everyone should have at least one friend like that.

Anyway, today was really interesting day and I would probably talk and laugh about it with Erza tomorrow. Now I have to finish my assignment and go to sleep.

I wonder what tomorrow is going to bring me....