John P.O.V.

I never thought I could be so broken from losing someone. I thought I was used to it.

Why can't I accept the fact that he's not coming back? It's been three years! I've never missed anybody as much as I miss Alexander. He was perfect. I need him and he's gone! Forever! It's not like how we used to always be on and off, I actually lost him! Why didn't the car hit me instead? It was supposed to hit me!!

"Baby you're having another episode" Francis said trying to calm me down. I started screaming as loud as I could. I kept screaming until everything went black.

I woke up on the couch like I usually did when that happens.

"Alex again?" Francis asked brushing his thumb over my cheek. I turned to face the cushion so my back was towards Francis. He doesn't get it. I need Alex.

"Dad are you ok?" Ellie asked. I ignored her as usual.
"C'mon" Francis grabbed my hand. I followed him.
"Eleanor watch your baby brother" Francis said

Oh yeah. Forgot to mention. I'm with Francis. We got a little boy. His name is George. I insisted on naming him after Washington. He did so much for me.

Me and Francis walked to the cemetery. He always took me to see Alex when I had what he called 'an episode'.

Sometimes I stayed with Alex for hours. Once I refused to leave for two days.

"Lexi!" I said sitting beside the tombstone. I read it at least a million times. Alex always told me he would die to protect me. He also told me if he ever died that he wanted me to choose what to put on his tombstone. So I put 'More than 1,000,000,000 diamonds'

He always told me that. That I was worth more than all the diamonds in the world.

I'm not. But he is. Hell he's worth more than the entire world. The world could blow up any second and I wouldn't care as long I got to see him again.

"Lexi why didn't you let the car hit me instead?" I asked as tears spilled down my cheeks. Francis sat in the car. I didn't want him with me when I talked to Alex.

"I can't handle you being gone! It's not fair!!" I sobbed

I wouldn't leave that night. I couldn't.

Francis fell asleep in the car so he couldn't make me leave. I felt my eyes get heavy with sleep. I gave in, falling asleep next to Alexander.

I saw him. Alexander. Everything around me was black except Alexander's pure white silhouette.

"Alexander!!" I shouted. The sound echoed around the darkness that surrounded me. I shouted again.
"ALEXANDER!!!"

The white figure was moving towards me quicker than I anticipated. There was a flash of white and gold blinding light and then he stood in front of me. My Alexander! He was radiating light and he was all I could focus on- considering everything else was black there wasn't much else to focus on anyhow.

"Are you real...?" I asked. My cheeks felt wet.
"Would you believe me if I said yes?" He asked. His voice sent shivers down my spine. I hadn't heard it in so long....

"Oh my god" I fell to my knees sobbing
"Stop asking me why the car didn't hit you instead. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if it did" he said sitting on the black ground beside me where I sobbed

"It's not fair" I cried
"Shush." He said. I couldn't open my mouth. It was scary but I knew Alex was doing it. I pointed to my mouth with pleading eyes. It wasn't fair! I haven't talked to him in years and he just shushes me!!

He kissed me lightly and suddenly I could talk again. I didn't want to talk anymore, I grabbed his glowing cheeks and kissed him deeply. I missed kissing him. I missed tangling my finger in his hair. I missed everything about him.

He pulled away from the kiss.
"We can't do anything. It'll hurt you when you wake up" he said pushing me off of him lightly
"So what? I want you! I've missed you so much" I cried
"Fine...but if you wake up with a huge headache and back pain don't blame me. Or do. It'll kinda be my fault..."
"I don't care. It's worth it." I said crawling into his lap again

Having sex with an angel is a lot better than with any human. But Alex was right. When I woke up my head hurt like hell and my back....just the same.

"John wake up" Francis said shaking my arm. Does that count as cheating on Francis? I honestly don't give a shit. I love him but if Alex were to come back me and Francis would be braking up quicker than you can say-

More than 1,000,000,000 diamonds.