i brought my backpack filled with hand warmers , a blanket and an umbrella. for whom or what you may ask? i also dont know why im doing such effort carrying this backpack with me on this cold windy night.

"whats with the backpack? have you decided to run away?" i clenched my backpack , hiding whatever pride i have left , clearly having second thoughts on this.

for the very first time , i , kim namjoon , the heartless douche as what my mother calls me , brought all of these after finding out about jin's condition , of how he gets cold easily.

"maybe" i shrugged , opening the fresh-out-of-the-vending-machine beverage and sipping its contents

"hey , you promised me that you're going to tell your story" he leant closer to me

i leant backward , away from him "i never promised."

"youre so fucking unfair , fuck you." he spat and slouched disappointedly

"fine. i'll tell mine once you answer my question."

he gave me a look "fucking hell, swear to whoever you believe in or love. you're not going to fool me twice"

i laughed "i swear to this person infront of me that i will tell my story , after he answers my question"

he gave me a questioning look , "i said someone you believe in or love—"

"why were you so keen on knowing my story? first night. i knew that you didnt care about sharing your story to others , and of how your eyes lit up with enthusiasm when you asked about my story along with the other night too. whats in it to you?" i looked into his eyes , he did the same to me.

"how you stared at me like an art critic analyzing an abstractive painting , how it was hard to distinguish your tears from the rain , like you were used to it. your slowly disappearing wounds covered by two thick rubber bands in which i assume you use in replace of the blade.

namjoon , i was interested in your story because i knew from the way you smiled at me , from the way you looked at me , you knew that you and i are the same. but there's where you got wrong. you and i are broken , yes. but i cannot be fixed , but you namjoon , you can. and i know you think otherwise because of how you always hesitate , of how you always bite your lips til it bleeds , and of how you clench your fists til your knuckles turn white. in my perspective , youre a mystery namjoon."

"id say the same jin , you're a mystery" he raised an eyebrow , i continued "and—and some of your facts arent right" i cursed at myself for stuttering. he's right. he's fucking right and i hate it

"jin you're a fucking mystery because who the hell smiles when they're bloody and bruised? who the hell talks to someone under the raging storm and suddenly ask why they were crying? jin we're the same. and i know well that i could not be saved." I stood up , threw the hand warmers and the blanket on his lap and ran off , disappointed.