<The past should only hold memories and not hold you captive>

|Kian|

Monday, August 2nd, 2021

JADESOLA WAS a sex addict.

After our reconciliation, thank fuck, we had decided to extend our stay in Paris for another week. During the day, the Eiffel tower, Louvre Museum and other tourist centers had been our go-to places. In the night, once we were behind closed doors, she'd proceeded to yank off all my clothes with frightening haste.

In the beginning, I'd been gentle but when I'd realized she was crazy about having any part of me inside her, I'd fucked her like a man possessed. Her stamina was tremendous, matching mine. And it hadn't taken long for me to purchase a truckload of condoms because I couldn't deal with pulling out every time.

Regardless, that was what I had craved for. What I still craved for. Having her writhing body beneath mine as I drove my hard cock into her tight pussy.

At the moment, my feet thudded on the treadmill in my bedroom gym. Manned with a few workout equipment, it was a spare room in my penthouse that I'd converted to a gym.

I ran on the machine quickly. Breathless pants escaped my lips, rivulets of sweat sluicing over my bare chest and back. As I worked my straining muscles to exertion, my mind strayed to my wife again.

Did I like her? Fuck yes. Even if she was black.

Did I love her? Maybe. My heart always pounded fast, a frantic tempo that occurred whenever she drew near. Those vows I'd uttered, a promise I pledged to stand by for the rest of my life. She was beautiful, smart and possessed all the fucking qualities I craved for in a woman. And the best part was, I'd been the first man inside her. I'd taken her virginity, inscribed my fucking self into her body until she could only think of me. Would only think of me and no one else.

The incessant ringtone of my phone invaded my thoughts. Fuck. Emitting a loud groan, I switched off the treadmill and padded to the bench positioned next to the large window.

I glanced at the caller ID. Jared. Swiping up, I placed the phone in the crook of my neck and bent to pick up a water bottle.

"Kian." His gruff tone reeked of urgency.

"Yes?" I popped the bottle open, tipping it to my lips and gulped down its cold content.

"Katharina is sick."

Wrenching the plastic container close, I paused, a silver of annoyance slowly buzzing through my veins. Was this why he'd called?

"How's that any of my business?" was my cold reply as I pinched the bridge of my nose in exasperation.

"She tested positive for HIV."

Shocked, my fingers unclenched and the water bottle fell to the floor with a loud thud.

"What the hell, Jared?!" I froze, my blood running cold. "When did she find out?"

He groaned, an angst that mirrored mine, instilled in his voice, "Yeah, I was shocked too and she said she just found out when she went to the hospital yesterday. She also requested I tell you to check yourself out."

"Fuck!" I cursed through gritted teeth. I wasn't unperturbed anymore. Concern and panic ran rife in me, my eyes flared wide in disbelief. Despite the fact it had been over a year since I had stopped sleeping with Rina, I wasn't certain I was negative. Even when we had sex during our marriage, I'd always done it with condoms on except that one night she'd drugged me.

Shit!

"Is Dad aware?" I inquired, distressed. The idea of being HIV positive was petrifying.

"She hasn't told anyone else, not even Dad."

I asked, although I already knew the answer, "Why did she tell you then?"

"Because she knows I'm the only person who can get to you." His tone was so low I visualized an expression of concern on his face.

"Shit, where's she now?"

"At her house. She's been crying since, Kian. I don't know, see her or something, so you can ask her for the exact details of how and when she got that, because the chances of you having it as well is very high."

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." Rough sighs escaped me as I paced around the room, raking jittery fingers through my hair. "I'm heading there ASAP."

The echo of a masculine voice yelling my brother's name filtered through the speaker. There was a cuffing noise then Jared spoke quickly, "Boss needs me in so I have to go now. Call me when you go for the test, Kian. Hopefully, you're tested negative. Later."

The line went static. Picking up the bottle from the floor, I dropped it and my phone on the bench. Then raising my face heavenwards, I placed an arm to my hips in plain disbelief. For a few minutes, I stayed motionless, in that position, an overwhelming feeling of hatred for my ex swamping over me. Just when things had started aligning well in my life, she'd breezed in to ruin it as usual.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Rina?" I muttered and padded forward, sidestepping a range of other gym equipment, to where a line of white towels hung on the rack.

Grabbing one, I dabbed at my face and neck to clean off the sweat, horror lurching in my guts. As I did that, I mulled, staring outside, my empty gaze fixed to the clouds that floated by.

From that height, the early morning sun coasted through the large window, offering a beautiful view of a very busy Chicago. I could picture everyone going about their daily businesses, unconcerned about an ex-wife who supposedly carried a dangerous illness she might or might not have transferred to them. Fuck.

Aghast, I returned the towel and ran a disturbed palm across my face, blasting out a disgusted breath. During high school, the educational board had gone on awareness campaigns, sharing flyers and whatnots about HIV and AIDS, basically slapping it onto our faces until its symptoms, prevention and consequences sank deep into our teenage consciousness. There were a lot of ways to get the disease, the foremost at my mind right now, being through unprotected sexual intercourse.

Shit. What if I had HIV? At that point I wasn't scared for myself but for my wife. Countless times, I'd kissed Jadesola, exchanged my body fluids with her, semen and all. If I did have it, I would never forgive Rina and myself.

So deep in my thoughts was I, that I lost all awareness of hearing. It was only when Jadesola wound her arms around my chest that I realized she'd entered the bedroom gym. Her bare breasts pressed into my back, setting my loins aflame as she greeted me in a husky voice, "Morning, babe."

A ridiculous part of me wanted to jump out of her arms, scared she would contract whatever illness bubbled beneath my skin. While the other half ached to melt into them and let her comfort me, helping me temporarily forget my troubles. I chose the latter.

"Morning, sweetheart," I tried to put a happy tone in my voice, covering her dainty palms with mine. "How are you?"

"Tired," she sighed.

Concerned, I whirled around and drew her closer, all thoughts of Rina fleeing.

My cock instantly hardened as my eyes feasted on her beautiful form. Since we came back yesterday, she'd preferred staying in the nude, apart from those sexy pink panties shrouding her pussy. I loved that because it gave me easy access.

Tipping her face up, I tossed my lewd perusal away from her body and pinned a worried gaze at her. Her amber eyes lacked that spark of fire present in them, her cheeks, drawn and lips, pale.

"Did you vomit again?" I asked, stroking her soft skin gently.

A slight shake of her weaved hair. "Yeah, earlier. I thought it would stop once I did but I still feel nauseous and bloated now."

She looked down at her clasped hands, saying in a small voice, as if shy, "My breasts hurt too. I don't know why."

Swift, I slid my eyes to her chest, my breath hitching once I viewed her perky breasts, brown tipped nipples and dark areolas. For a week now, those juicy breasts had appeared fuller, her nipples jutting out and drawn tight. A very tempting sight. Apart from her generous ass, I was obsessed with her boobs. Sucking on them were my favorite pastimes.

Vomiting. Constant nausea. Fatigue. Sore boobs. Tender nipples.

My eyes dropped down to her stomach. Her midsection was still flat, but her abdominal lines were fading ever so slowly. As I stared, another memory of Rina flashed into my mind's eyes. She had complained of these exact symptoms a month after she'd forced me to sleep with her. And I had also done my own research regarding those signs. Shit, was it what I was suspecting?

"You need to go to the hospital for a check up." I placed a hand on her forehead. It was clammy yet not feverish.

Back in Paris, when she'd first vomited, my foremost suspicion was, she hated my cum on her body. But she'd reassured me so those seeds of doubts had withered. Then, when it occurred again albeit infrequently, I believed Zaviero had poisoned her with a drink. But what would he gain? So I'd striked it off my list, after all, she was alive and well. Now, these other symptoms were proving otherwise.

She shook her head, eyes fixed to the floor. "Nah, it'll pass. I think it's the flu. Paris was a bit cold, even though it was July."

How could she be so clueless?

"If it happens again, I'm taking you for a test."

A pregnancy test.

"Okay." She nodded and hugged me, soft body sinking into mine.

As I embraced her, caressing her head softly, a gazillion of questions stirred in my heart. If she was pregnant, how was that possible? In the Paris suite, I might have fucked her raw but I'd never released my sperm inside her. And even if I did, there was no way she'd conceived in just one week and three days. Unless God had granted her immaculate conception, which he obviously hadn't. It was all human.

Suddenly, the dark recollection of how I had nearly penetrated her, my pre-cum mixing with her juices that Saturday afternoon, hit me hard. So did when I had forcefully snatched her virginity and fingered her with my cum-stained fingers.

Double shit. I mentally blanched.

Again, my mind fled towards Rina and her baggage of troubles. Fuck. I hoped to God that Jadesola wasn't pregnant right now, even if a tiny part of me wanted the baby. It would complicate things and I just couldn't imagine passing such a terrible disease to her and our child.

Tender, I tugged her away and asked, dreading her answer, "When was the last time you saw your period, Jadesola?"

Tiny dots of red bloomed on her cheeks, despite her dark complexion. I hid a tiny grin. She was going all shy on me now, even though I was familiar with every curve, dips and contours of her body.

"Before my cousin's wedding. But it's always irregular so I'm expecting it this week or the next." A frown split her forehead as she chewed her lower lip in concentration. "Come to think of it, that's why my breasts are sore. They're always like this whenever I want to get my period."

Again, her mind hadn't shifted to pregnancy. Talk about denial.

I craved to grab onto that assumption like a drowning man hanged onto a lifeboat. Except I couldn't. Skeptical, there was no way the doubts were leaving my head abruptly. What if she really was carrying my child? And did I even want mixed children? But I knew. As far as it was Jadesola, it didn't matter. It just didn't. She was my responsibility and so was whatever children we might have.

"It's okay, sweetheart. You'll be fine." I leaned in to give her a swift, reassuring kiss on the cheek. "I'll make you a quick breakfast before I head out."

About to draw back, her arms caged my torso, running her hands over my abs and inside my shorts. "No, come back to bed."

"For someone who says she's tired, you are demanding things that only an energetic person can do," I groaned, heat pooling in my groin as her sneaky hands explored my crotch freely.

"Please," she begged, making puppy eyes, that mesmerizing honey color entrancing me. She found my already hardened cock and stroked it to action.

Fuck. She made it hard. Really hard. Still, I had to extricate myself from her lust-inducing hold.

"You are the most tempting woman I have ever met." I pressed another kiss on the corner of her lips. "But I've been away from work for so long and the office needs me and you back. Especially me or Ryan will have my head. And if you still feel tired, you can start tomorrow, after you've rested enough or whenever you're ready."

Jadesola had opted to continue working as my personal assistant and now she might be breeding, I was reconsidering that option.

Her warm hands lingered, working wonders beneath my shorts as she rose on her tiptoes to smash her lips on mine. Her rockhard nipples brushed my chest and I kissed her back passionately, already battling with the need to throw my inhibitions away and fuck her.

Then she drew back, smirking, "I'm starting work today but what say we just work here?"

I chuckled at the innuendo in her sentence. I was sorely tempted but that sense of unease nagged at me. No way was I having sex again with her until I took a HIV test.

Cupping her cheeks, I shot her an affectionate look, speaking softly, "Baby, as much as I would love to work here with you, I really have to go. But first, I'll make for your breakfast, run down to the grocery, since we barely have any left, then meet you in the office later. Okay?"

The grocery part was a lie to shroud my intentions of visiting Rina and the hospital. I could have told her except I didn't want to. There was still a certain reluctance to drag Jadesola into my sad past.

My wife grumbled in protest, yanking her hands away from my erection. "Fine, Mr. Hotshot Billionaire Who Has To Go To Work Instead Of Sleeping With His wife."

"Yes, Mrs. Tired Wife Who Is Supposed To Be Resting Right Now." I laughed, my chest rumbling in delight as I gathered her in my arms and peppered sloppy kisses all over her face until she was giggling, itching to get away. But I held tight, carried her bridal style to my bedroom and laid her gently on the bed.

Tossing a quick glance at the ticking clock, I departed to the kitchen. 8.30 a.m was the time indicated, so there were extra minutes to prepare some pancakes and fresh orange juice.

"Here's your breakfast in bed, princess." I settled a white tray on her covered laps.

"Thank you." She smiled widely, a beautiful one that highlighted the alluring features she possessed.

"You're welcome, princess." I blew her an air kiss, loathe to kiss her on the lips before she dragged me down into another path of seduction. My next move was to take a quick shower.

When I exited the bathroom, she was done eating, sipping her orange juice now. As I creamed my body, shimmying into a blue dress shirt and black slacks, combing my hair and undergoing my daily morning ritual, her hungry eyes followed my every movement. Admiring. The intensity of her gaze was scorching, a devouring fire that blazed through me.

When she had her fill of eye-raping me, she asked, subjecting me to a calculating look, "Before you go, I have a question that's been bugging me since. How did you see my nudes? Only the companies I worked for had access to that."

Well, well, well. And speaking of those pictures, I would have to destroy them before another man saw what was mine.

Spraying on some cologne, I grabbed my keys off the nightstand. "I asked Ryan to do a background search on you before I employed you."

Her eyes flew wide with recognition. "No wonder. During the club outing, he'd said he saw me then. . . Ah, kindle magazine my ass. Ughh!"

Hissing in mock anger, she threw a pillow at me. "You're both sneaky bastards!"

"Not the poor pillow, Jade!" I ducked in time and slipped out, laughing.

Once the door jammed shut, my amusement faded. Trepidation hung like a dark cloud over me. It was time to face the ugly past.

Driving past my gigantic enterprise, I mulled deeply, evaluating my life these past few weeks. Jadesola. Zaviero. These two people had succeeded in upending my life. Jade, in a good way. Zaviero, in the worst way. During the meeting, the man had proceeded to stall, that self-assured sneer on his face filling me with so much anger. I hated that. Detested him so much that I'd left in a fit of fury, fucking the deal up.

I did a U-turn into a suburban part of Chicago, twenty-two miles from downtown. Driving further, I killed the engine and parked my car in the driveway of a cute bungalow.

Katharina's house was located in a wealthy, quiet neighborhood. A red Porsche was stationed in the driveway, a fancy bouquet of flowers hanging off the walls of the yellow, painted building. All acquired with her five million dollars alimony.

Squaring my shoulders, I alighted down from my car, took off my ring and hid it in my pockets. Then, I trudged up the stairs and thumbed the doorbell. The door swung open immediately.

I didn't know what I'd been expecting but she'd undergone zero drastic change. Instead of a crying, grief stricken woman, it was still the same old Katharina.

Her sky blue eyes bore into mine, her face layered with sultry makeup, willow body encased in a black robe and blonde hair shrouded in a pink bonnet. Needless to say, her well-presented look had me wondering if she was truly sick or if this was another one of her antics to get me over. Regardless, I was already here and I wasn't leaving without any answers.

"You came," she croaked in a hoarse tone. Jared was right. She'd been crying.

I wasn't keen on saying some romantic shit like you called so I only nodded stiffly, heading straight to the point. "Jared told me you were diagnosed with HIV."

"Yeah." Tears brimmed in her eyes as she ushered me in. "Come inside."

I took a step forward, following in her stead. We crossed the corridor and entered inside her living room, bright sunlight streaming into the room.

This was my first time here but I had an inkling of what the interior design would be. Wild. Vibrant. Cluttered. Just like her. It wasn't a dirty space, but it wasn't arranged either.

She removed a magazine that had her face stamped on it, courtesy of her lingerie clothing line and placed it on the glass center table. Very popular in the fashion world, my ex was one of the biggest fashion designers in Chicago and she never failed to rub it into anyone's face, including mine.

My eyes roamed past the fliers, couches, a TV, other furniture and latched onto a picture of us propped on the mantle. It was her and I in our early twenties, clad in skimpy beach wear, smiling so widely as I carried her in my arms. Nostalgia burst within me at that happy memory but I shoved it back.

I shifted my gaze to her. She was sitting on the brown couch, clutching the lapels of her robe together.

"Sit down, Kian." Rina waved her palm towards another brown couch across her.

"For her long Rina?" I glowered at her.

"Sit down first."

My eyes narrowed into slits. "I'm not here for pleasantries. How long have you had the damn disease?"

She licked her lips and scratched her wrist. A tell-tale sign of nervousness. "The doctor wasn't specific but he said I have had it for months. Along with syphilis and gonorrhea."

Fuck.

A barrage of conflicting emotions swirled within me. Anger, fear, dread. Unwilling to let them show on my face, I shuttered my facial expression to one of detachment. Only then did I ask the question that had been disturbing me, "Did you give it to me too?"

Her teary eyes didn't meet mine. "I don't know. The doctor said I should let my sexual partners that I'd slept with in a year know."

This time, I couldn't help the fury tainting my voice, my fists knotted tightly, "Jesus, Rina! How could you be so dumb?! I know you're mad about sex but what the fuck happened to condoms?"

She flinched, drawing away, wringing her hands in apprehension. "I always made the men use condoms. It's just that there's still this one guy. . ."

Her sad voice trailed off.

I speared a dark glare in her direction, about to prompt her to continue except she was fast to change the topic, "Can I get you anything before we continue? I was making coffee before you came."

"No, I'm good," I bit out. Did she not understand the meaning of no pleasantries?

"Your favorite. Black, no sugar or milk." She shot me a pleading look, desperation screaming in her red-rimmed eyes. Fuck. An atomic part of me that cared for her, the one that remembered our childhood and young adult years, had me dipping my head in agreement.

A sigh of relief left her lips as she stood and practically dashed into the kitchen, the acrid stench of terror and misery that had permeated the room, disappearing with her.

Pissed, I paced around, wondering how the fuck Rina and I had gotten to this broken part of our lives. As I changed position, shifting on tense feet, my gaze honed onto the documents littered on the table.

Curious, I went through them, setting the magazines aside and flipping through medical reports. She wasn't lying. She truly had HIV and if left untreated, would proceed to AIDS.

I should have stopped there but I didn't. I continued combing through her private life. Just about to flip it close, a quick glance at her health history had me stiffening.

Patient aborted 1 month pregnancy on December 27, 2016.

Patient aborted 3 months pregnancy on May 25th, 2020.

There, in small tiny letters depicted the shocking truth that my ex-wife had undergone two abortions.

I blinked. Same story.

Stupefied, I blinked again, hoping it was a trick of the light. It wasn't. The dates glared at me, one was before we married and another, after we had married.

Her flip flops hit the tiles as she emerged from the kitchen, the smell of freshly prepared coffee wafting to my nostrils.

I circled around, the report clutched in my fingers, tight. "What is this Rina?"

The little color present on her face drained out. "You found out. Fuck, I should have hidden them."

"Rina, answer me." My voice threatened to break, a lump forming in my throat but I managed to ask, "Did you abort our child?"

An eerie calmness descended on her. Instead of a contrite look, she shrugged and settled the green mugs on the center table. "I did. Remember when you found me lying down on the stairs after that argument we had? Well, that was just an act to hide that I aborted the baby."

Rage like never before boiled within my heart and I seethed, my voice rising an octave. "How could you?! Why did you, fuck—"

I staggered into the nearest chair, finally caving into the devastation that ran rampant beneath the surface of my skin.

For a split second, my vision darkened and a mental image of a broken Rina lying on the floor, the bright red blood pooling beneath her body flickered through my eyes. Like a broken playlist, that heartbreaking recollection surged again and again, tainting my mouth, my body until I could only feel constrained. A flood of a gut-wrenching pain streamed through me.

She knelt down to tug the report away and entwine her cold fingers with mine. "I didn't want the baby, Kian."

I flung her hands away, blowing out a disgusted breath. "You could have told me Rina! But you lied to me. You made me feel guilty for months. I thought I killed our baby when I saw you lying down the stairs. I thought I was a murderer. . ."

My voice broke. Angry tears scalded the back of my eyes. I blinked them away.

"Stop crying." Leaning in, she reached forward to cup my jaw.

I stood, pushing her off me immediately, jerking away from her cinnamon scent and lying self. She straightened up as well, the aloofness I glimpsed in her wintry eyes, searing my heart. My very soul.

She was acting like it was a simple banter of who would wash the dishes and not a heated discussion about an actual child. My child that she'd killed.

A deep groan of anguish escaped my open lips and I shook my head, pointing a finger at her. "I stood by you Rina! Even when I realized I couldn't satisfy your urges anymore, I still stood by you! Even when my family and friends advised me to let you go, I refused because I thought I loved you. And I fucking did!"

Rolling her eyes, Katharina took a step back, hissing in a sharp tone, "It wasn't yours anyway! So stop getting all teary and emotional. The only reason I drugged you to have sex with me was so you would think it was yours."

If her statement hadn't broken my heart into a million pieces, I didn't know what else did.

In abject disbelief, I looked at her. Really looked at her. "What happened to my best friend? The one I stood by? The first girl I had sex with? Rina?! The first girl I really loved? What happened to you? To us? Did I wrong you in any way? Please let me know."

She was silent and for the first time, I saw guilt churning in her stare. But I was past that. I roared in her face, brandishing the medical report, "Rina tell me! What got you like this? Who got you like this?"

"Well, ask your damn. . ." She paused, seeming to realize herself and only moved her slender shoulders up in a careless shrug.

"Ask who?!" I thundered.

"Yourself. I guess I was just tired of you. Once we got married and stopped sneaking around, I got bored."

"Okay." I gave her a bitter smile and threw the report at her feet. "This is the last time I will ever care enough to see you. The very last time. And believe me, when I say I pray you rot in hell when you die from your stinking disease, I mean it with every beating of my damn heart."

I couldn't bear her presence anymore, a stifling feeling sucking the very air out of me. I needed to leave right now. Quick, I thrust her out of my sight and walked off, my jaw ticking furiously, my vision, a churning sea of red.

Her cruel laughter filtered into my ears as I inched close to freedom, the door looming in sight. "Better hope you're not tested positive as well, or we'll be competing to see who rots in the hottest part of hell first."

The door slammed shut, like my heart she'd smashed into a thousand pieces.

Jesus Christ.

Like a madman, I drove to the nearest hospital. Once there, I stated my affliction and made enquiries. Without wasting time, I had my fingertips pricked and conveyed to the lab for a rapid antibody test. Then, the doctor had said with a comforting look that did anything but comfort me, the results would be given to me within thirty minutes.

Thirty minutes had never felt like such a long time, the minutes crawling by so slowly that I wanted to tug my hair out and scream. But I didn't.

Rather, I walked to and fro down the hospital corridor, punching my knotted fist into my left palm. What would I do if I had this? Fuck. I didn't want Rina's awful castoffs.

"Mr. Fields?" called a red-haired nurse who'd appeared from the lab.

I glanced at her, hopeful. "Yes, that's me."

"Your result, sir." The nurse, face as expressionless as a blank wall, held out an envelope. The lack of emotion on her facial features made me feel even worse.

"Thank you," I muttered and grasped the slight sheaf of paper. She nodded and departed.

Please please please, God, I summoned the Lord I hadn't prayed to for months, If not for my sake, but for the sake of Jadesola and our baby, if there was one. Please Lord. Please.

With shaky hands and a pounding heart, I tore the envelope wide. It crinkled open and I flicked my eyes over the bold letters.

Damn.

A/N: Bet y'all didn't see the HIV thingy coming! Again, thanks to those who replied, as long as you added pregnancy in your answer, this chap was dedicated to you!❤️ I wanted to do the decication thingy at the top of the page but it only accepts one person sigh. So I tagged you all here! frozenpisce ReggaeQ @sasaganca kernella itz-oge phatpumpumgall_11

Question of the day AS USUAL:

1. Why dyu think Jade is so clueless? Like why hasn't she suspected she's pregnant yet?

P.s: Before you start coming at her, she's not naive please. Kian never came inside her in all the time they were in Paris so she doesn't even have pregnancy as an option. Yet.

2. Dyu believe Kian has HIV?

3. What are your thoughts about Katharina?

Chapter 42 (part 1 and part 2) has to be the .... chapter I have ever written! F, this just gave away the answer to question 2. SIGH. Regardless, just swipe to readddddd! Oh wait, I haven't posted it yet. Teehehee.

Love,
Nita!