<You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back>

*Listen to the above song as you read. Will get you in your feelings like it did me!🥹❤️✨*

|Jadesola|

HE VEERED across the room to stand against the door, arms fallen to the side, unconcerned at his nakedness or his terrible request.

"Right now, I'm going to need you to cross the room with one goal in sight. Me. I want you to slash me, gut me, however it suits you, Jade." His voice was calm, his towering frame as unmoving as a martyr uttering their last prayers before they were slain.

A mirthless chuckle escaped me and I tried to play it off, "What are you saying, Kian? Gut you? You must be drunk, come back to bed."

"I'm not drunk, baby. If anything, I'm more sober than I've ever been in a long while." Kian's gorgeous eyes glowed with determination, the only thing in him that seemed to be alive. "Stand up, Jadesola. Come get me. This is what you've always wanted."

My heart thudded, the blood flowing in my veins, hot and furious. I glanced at my fingers that were curled around the hilt, then at him. "Kian–"

"I deserve the hate and it's only going to get worse if you don't hit me. Think about what you're doing to yourself."

My breathing intensified, harsh, the knife, a heavy burden in my palm, just like the weight of the ache pulsating in my chest. Here I was, presented with a golden opportunity to finally plunge my dagger into his neck except I just sat, dumbstruck.

He muttered something beneath his breath and then louder, eyes flashing, "Coward much? You keep on throwing yourself at me so that you can stab me, and now you hesitate? I know it all Jade. There's nothing to hide and I'm done fighting. Please, kill me right now."

Frozen, I stared at him, wide-eyed. Yes, I should stab him. I should kill him, do this world a favor by removing the ugly stain that was Kian. But did I have it in me? A dirty war waged in my mind, a tug between right and wrong. Good and evil.

"You're just gonna stare at me? Pretend you don't want to kill me? Fine." A look of distaste crossed his striking face and he snapped, "I hate to break it to you, love, but while you were chucking your clothes off, you looked desperate, sounded desperate. You were a total turn off, baby."

The hilt of the dagger grazed my inner palm as I tightened my fingers over it. He was trying to piss me off, the taunting words, a sting on my pride.

"You say that but you were hard," I bit out.

Kian noticed he was getting through to me. Smirking, he crossed his arms, biceps flexing and leaned against the door. "As hard as a man who's dying to stick it in any woman's cunt. Baby, we might as well have been in a brothel. Your actions weren't any different from a whore."

I bolted my eyes shut, the blood lust roaring, overwhelming. He wanted to force my hand so I erected a shield, sucked in deep, calming breaths, Don't listen to him, don't pay him any heed, don-

"You're a slut." His scornful voice blasted past my defenses, shattering it until I was raw. "Nothing but a pathetic tramp who can hardly suck a dick or fuck. Jesus, I was so bored watching you trying to seduce me. If I hadn't been thinking with my cock back then, I might have laughed at your pathetic porn star moves."

He's lying. Ignore him. Ignore him. My chest heaved, rising and falling violently, the burn of tears stinging my eyes.

"Didn't Zaviero tell you the truth after you fucked him? Man must have been lying to you." He clicked his tongue, that sound setting me on edge. "If I didn't pop your cherry, I wouldn't have known you had no dignity!"

My eyes flew open, my vision, a churning sea of red. That was the last straw. The much I could bear. He'd broken the dam holding my fury back and I stood, yelling, "That's because you stole it. That's because you raped me, laughing as you did it. Because of you, I'm naked, standing before a man I hate. Because of you, I'm married to an asshole who decided to destroy my life, stuck with him against my wishes. Because of you, I don't recognize who I am anymore."

He merely threw me a sadistic grin, maintaining that relaxed stance. "Since we're playing the blame game, let's add your part in this bad soap opera. What kind of assistant shows up to work half naked? Heck, Jadesola even before I took you, you practically pranced naked in my office. You had this fuck me sign written all over you and fuck me, it wasn't hard to think you wanted some. You even gave me a lap dance at the club. For free. Now tell me, what manner of woman does that if not one that's asking for it?"

Like acid, the venomous hurls of his sentences burned through my pride, corrosive and melting my self-esteem till a pitiful puddle remained.

"Shut up!"

"You can shut me up by cutting out my tongue, Jade. And while you waste your time doing it, I'm going to continue telling you the goddamn truth because it hits close to home, doesn't it?" Kian slanted a haughty brow, mocking. "You played nasty pranks on me, made me lose important deals. You called me a rapist so I merely showed you what you were missing."

A high pitch rent my screeching voice as I walked towards him, scorching tears streaming down my cheeks. "Asshole, you had no right! You had no fucking right!"

"Well, I did. All thanks to you." Kian pushed himself off the door and laughed, the scornful tune raising the hair on my skin, prickling. "Remember the first time you met me at my office? You wore nothing beneath your dress. Absolutely nothing. Your dress was so sheer, I could see everything outlined. Your entire body was laid bare at my gaze. Your breasts, your fucking cunt. And this was for a business meeting, Jadesola. I didn't know what your goal was but damn you scored."

Bile rose in my throat, nearly gagging me and I lifted the dagger, intent on slashing his dick off. Anywhere, anyhow, I didn't care. I just wanted him to suffer. To feel the same pain weighing down on me like lead. "I hate you! I hate you! I fucking hate you!"

"Truth hurts, right?" His blue eyes were hardened, glinting with contempt as he stalked towards me. "Channel all that hate towards that knife and come hit me. I called you a whore. I treated you like one. You've got to prove me wrong. Slash me. Fucking hit me."

"Stop talking!" I screamed, head pounding wildly, my vision so blurred that his hulking physique was a dim image.

"As a model you had your body. Your casino? It was your body that attracted me to offer you help. Isn't it so sad? That the only thing you have going for you is your body, Jade. Nothing else. You're a fucking bitch who sold herself to me," Kian thundered, the loudness of his voice resounding in the room.

"You talk about me being a bitch?" I swiped at my tears angrily and spat, as I inched close, brandishing the dagger, "Have you met yourself Kian? You're the biggest asshole I ever had the greatest misfortune to come across. Not only is your ego bigger than my ass, you piss me off so fucking much. First time I met you, you threw a racist comment at me! Racist bastard!"

"Is that all? Get in line, gold-digger." He walked slowly, his mouth pressed in a sneer, his eyes shining with the craze of a mad man.

Fire blazed at me. A burning sensation kindled along my skin, the dark hunger razed me down so it was only my anger that sparked. Bright and all-consuming.

"I should have known that you were a sadist. But what did I do? I crawled, begging the one person who offered me help. And you knew it. You had me by the balls, left with no choice but to lick your disgusting ass. Selfish motherfucker! Oponu! Ike nnama! You're so repulsive, so disgusting, that the very sight of you makes me want to puke. As I laid on that bed, I was lost, thinking of how I would make you pay because that was how I could bear your touch. That was how much I loathed you. How much I hate you!"

He stood before me now, a few inches away from my hurling knife. The veins on his neck bulged as he roared into my face, "Fine, I'm guilty of all that but dig a little into yourself and you'll see we're more alike than you think. I annoy you? Heck, I annoy everyone just as you do."

He ticked off his fingers as he talked, ruthless and wicked, "You go about thinking the whole damn world revolves around you. Well, news flash, Jade, it doesn't. You might come from the richest family, might have the best things luxury can afford but you are too entitled. You're the reason your cousin's wedding was wrecked. You sent me that message knowing the kind of person I am. You destroy things without thinking about who it will affect because of your selfishness. And yes, I like you but I'm not blind to your flaws!"

Like you? That admission had me faltering but I ignored it and lashed out, "You gave me no choice, Kian! You made me show you the worst side of me!"

Then I slashed the dagger through the air, my shoulders trembling. Blood roared in my ears, that sinister voice chanting, kill him, kill him. Kill. Him.

In the middle of the room, we looked at each other, my wet gaze as hard as tack. But his, were dim, broad shoulders hunched now, all the mockery gone. The cold glint in his eyes waned, snuffed out until there was nothing left, but acceptance.

"And I don't fault you for it. I know I was wrong, so I apologized. I did everything humanly possible to gain your forgiveness but you wouldn't have any of it. I asked your mom how to get in your good books, but it seemed that with every step I took forward, you brought me backwards. Jadesola, I want you to be mine but if this madness between us is going to spiral until we're burned to ashes, then I have to let you go."

Want you to be mine? I gazed at him through a sheen of tears, shocked. Try as I wanted to deny it, he was right. I had been so hung up on revenge that I ignored the little things he did. My resolve nearly shattered to pieces but I narrowed my eyes.

"Not so cocky now I have a knife pointed at that ugly mug you call a face?" I hissed, clenching my teeth. The blade of the knife whirled through the air, heading for his neck.

Then he did an action I never expected.

Kian collapsed to his fucking knees, head bowed, voice soft. "Do it. Kill me and tell the police I attacked you and this was you acting in defense. Please, Jadesola end me right for I cannot bear your hatred anymore. Please."

This man, who was known for being brutal and savage. Who had done a lot of wicked things to me. Who could quickly wrench the dagger from my hands before I could blink an eye, was kneeling before me, at my mercy. I wanted to gloat, scream into his face and at the world, yell on how the tables had finally turned but I couldn't. I felt rather empty. Drained.

Drops of tears rolled down my chin and tumbled with a tiny splat onto his arched back. Just like his blood that would coat my hands, red rivulets running down my arms, spurting onto my bare skin. The revenge I seeked, finally achieved.

Kill him, end him, stab him, Rage thundered at me and I raised the knife up, and slashed–

At thin air.

With an ear-splitting clang, the dagger fell beside my foot. "I can't. I can't do it. God help me but I can't."

I dropped to the floor, exhausted, silent sobs wracking my body. My palms covered my face as I cried my heart out, shaking my head to and fro. "I can't do it, Kian. I can't. I'm not a cold-blooded murderer."

Gentle hands tugged my palms away from my face. His blue eyes mirrored the anguish that was reflected in mine, piercing. Then he gathered me in his arms, cradling me softly, whispering, "Let it all out, Jade."

I rested my chin against his chest, the stupid tears running free until his warm skin was soaked with fluid. "I can't go through with it. Neither can I with my other plan."

"Which other plan?" he asked, his voice, a gentle hum that quietened my nerves.

"Stamping a rape agllegation against you."

He drew away for a moment, shock draining the blood away from his face. "A what?"

I sniffed, guilt clawing at my heart. "I was going to frame you, let you cum in me and tell the police that you sexually assaulted me."

His expression turned ashen. "So that's why you wanted me to have sex with you?"

"Yeah." I nodded and glanced at my crossed laps. Shame and relief drenched me, a blissful feeling of letting it all out sang in my veins.

Kian lifted my chin up, swiping away the salty moisture that lingered on the edge of my lips. "I've done much worse, Jadesola. And since we're confessing, I have something to say."

"I'm sorry for the mean things I said earlier. Everything I mentioned was false. I just wanted you mad enough to hit me. And every single thing you have gone through was my fault. Making you my assistant was just me being a bully. The banks that didn't give you any loan, that was also me."

I sucked in a deep breath. "That bank stuff was you?! It was you the whole damn time?!"

"Yes."

As if switched off, my tears dried up, the anger swarming over me like locusts and I began struggling anew, hitting his chest. "You bastard! You made me desperate, left me with no choice. God, you disgust me!"

"Calm down, Jade." He wrapped his arms around me, caging me in his warm hold as I broke down again. "Just give me a moment to finish please."

I retrieved my fists and muffled the pained howls that wracked my body. I wasn't sure I wanted to hear him anymore but he'd offered me a listening ear so I would stay calm. For now.

"I've hurt a lot of people who mean the most to me. I don't want to hurt you again, Jade. I don't want you in that situation anymore because I care for you."

"Right." I looked into his silent, beseeching eyes. "You say all these but you treated me harshly today. You. . ." I choked on my tears. "You made me feel unwanted. You didn't treat me like someone you cared about."

"I know and I'm still beating myself up about that." A soulful sigh left his lips and he was standing, in full glare of my sight. At this point, no one was bothered that we were both nude.

He put out a hand. "Come, let's sit on the bed. It's a long story and the floor is cold."

Curling my fingers around his palm, I allowed him to heft me up, directing me forward. I hunkered down, already tired. The onset of a headache, a dull pang nagged at my temple.

Kian cleared his throat and laced his fingers with mine. "Yesterday, after we kissed and all, I overheard you in the toilet."

The fatigue withered and anxiety skittled along my spine as I straightened up. "Was that why you gave me the cold shoulder throughout today?"

He shook his head. "Yes."

I suddenly felt stupid. He had known all along. The whole damn time I seduced him, Kian had been aware of my endgame.

"I decided to ignore you because I was too hurt and angry to talk to you. And I was even more pissed when you got that gown from Zaviero. Till now, I still don't understand why that asshole ordered you a dress when I was more than capable of buying one for you. And when I saw you dancing with him, it made me angry and jealous. Then I got mad at myself because why should I be jealous of someone who didn't want me?"

My eyes widened in disbelief. As smart as I reckoned I was, not once had it occurred to me he would be green with envy.

"Zaviero said you were shooting daggers at his ass." I peered at him, my chest expanding with warmth at that confession. I liked the thought of him being jealous.

"I was." A sad smile tugged at his lips as he stroked the inside of my hand absently, his slow caress, setting off a burning response.

"So I left. Before you came back, I contemplated ways I could make you pay for making me sad. And when you came back, begging me to fuck you, that just made me sadder because I knew the reason now. So I allowed myself to see how far you would go with your plan. I had no intention of sleeping with you honestly, I was just going to tease you. To see how far you could go until you quit. I didn't think someone who hated me as much as you did could fuck me but you were adamant."

He stopped talking, nothing else said for a while. He just continuously brushed his thumb against mine, each of us lost in our own world. Until a question that nagged at me floated to mind.

"That can't be all, Kian. I also saw you remove your ring and dance with that blondie." Accusation laid in my hurt tone.

Kian flinched at my sharpness but he gave a dry, unamused chuckle. "I did."

"Are you going to explain why or am I just getting a yeah?"

His thumb left my fingers to climb up my arm. I should have flung it aside but I allowed it. "The reason might sound unbelievable, Jade."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Try me."

His scrutiny darted to my breasts for a second before he dragged it away to gaze into my eyes. "Apart from Zaviero, I wanted to see whether I could curry favor with other people. And when some women see that a man is free from the shackles of marriage, they're willing to give him a bit of their time and if possible, part of their assets. That blonde woman you saw was another interested client. Did you see me call anyone?"

I nodded, wondering how that connected with his story. "Twice. At the car and at the party."

"Yeah. While we stood outside, her assistant called me first and told me she was coming. He just didn't know when. Then once we were in, blondie cornered me without warning. I had to slip away, while pretending to be on a call and remove my ring so she would think I was unmarried."

Furrowing my brows, I uttered, envious, "I saw you stare at her breasts, Kian."

The second those words left my lips, Kian's eyes slid to my chest. "She was pushing herself into me. And honestly, I rather stare at yours. They're better—"

"Eyes up and you're going off point," I snapped but my cheeks warmed with the intensity of his gaze.

"Sorry." He threw a sheepish smile at me, the dimples in his cheeks flashing. "Do you believe me now?"

"Well . . ." I kind of did believe him but I wasn't offering any olive branch yet.

"You don't." His voice went flat and that gorgeous smile froze.

Sigh.

"I do. Another question."

"Yeah." His thumb was on my shoulder now, stroking softly.

"Did you get the deal?" I asked, curious. "And was that why you dragged me out?"

"No and yes. But it doesn't matter anyway. My mind was fixed on you throughout that meeting so I didn't even give a flying fuck whether I got it. My only aim was talking to you and when I saw you, drinking wine without any care in the world, I got angrier and had to drag you out."

Then Kian lowered his head until our forehead touched, his whiskey scented breath fanning over my lips as he whispered, "I'm glad you didn't come back home with me because I wasn't sure what I would do to you in my anger. Whenever I'm hurt, I take it out on others. It's a bad attitude I've been trying to stop but it's hard. Really hard."

"You're human," I whispered back, torn at the pain in his voice. "And I dug a bit into me just like you asked me to and realized that we're the same, Kian. Flawed and toxic. We're both human."

"You're sweet but don't try to excuse my behavior, Jade. Please." He surged forward and pressed a soft kiss on my temple before removing his hands away, the cold fingers of ice trailing a wintry path on my skin where his touch had warmed.

Then he hoisted his body from the bed. "Give me a sec."

He ambled to the study, while I studied my hands, unable to believe this was actually happening. My heart soared, elated. Kian and I just had a discussion that was free from any strife or struggle. He hadn't raised his voice at me, and had been gentle. It felt like I was stuck in a dream, one I would wake up from any moment now. But if it was a dream, it didn't stop this pleasant sensation from drifting along my body, happiness pooling within my belly, a huge smile gracing my lips.

"If you're smiling then it means I'm not fucking this up."

I lifted my lashes, tried to stop the smile but the damn thing was stuck on my lips. His teeth glinted in the light as he beamed back at me, so it was real. As real as the gold band that laid on his right palm. His wedding ring.

Kian's huge body lowered, kneeling down before me. "Here, I'm putting it on." He slid the ring onto his fourth finger.

My smile slowly faded as I watched him, a tiny frown etched between my brows. What was he doing? Every other action might have been real but our marriage wasn't real.

He fixed a soulful stare at me, the care and kindness in those deep blue eyes taking my breath away, "I saw the questions in your eyes when we took our wedding vows. I knew you were curious. Back then, I thought I did it as a penance for my sins and to help you out but I realize now I did it because I adore you."

He sucked in a deep breath. "After my last marriage, I didn't want anything to do with women. Refused to even entertain the thought of sleeping with them. Then I met you. I told myself I was going to ignore that emotion, forced myself to throw away the feeling that screamed at me to make you mine. But I can't, not anymore. And I know right now, it seems too soon but whenever I'm around you, you're all I see. All I hear. All I feel. I cherish you Jadesola. Cherish you more than words can tell."

He hadn't said love but the words were a shaft of sunlight beaming through a crack in the window of a dark, musty attic after sunrise. It lanced through me, warming my very soul and the cold walls I'd erected around my heart, thawed, crumbling down.

"Our marriage isn't real I know, but this." He raised his ring laden finger and placed that hand on his chest, directly on his heart. "This is my promise to never hurt you again. A promise to never make you cry again. And it isn't just a mere promise, it's an assurance binded by the beating of my heart. Because as long as it beats, it beats for you only."

Tears gathered in my eyes anew as I observed him, his sincerity tugging at my own heart.

"So all I ask of right now is your forgiveness for the great wrong I have done to you. Give me another chance, Jade. Let me prove that I am the right man for you. The man who would do all he can to stick to his promise to always make you smile and laugh with him. The man you would run to should you ever want for anything. And I might not be the most romantic man ever but I will try, even if it kills me. But, all these can only happen if you find it in your heart to forgive me. If you find it within you to l. . ."

His voice broke, trailing off, a glimmer of moisture in his stare. Was Kian crying?

"Fuck who's cutting onions in here?" I joked, failing woefully.

He didn't crack a smile, those beautiful eyes boring into mine, fierce and passionate.

Again, I tried, wiping off my own tears with a hand, my lips twitching in humor, "I don't know how you do it but you look so handsome when you cry. Not fair."

This time, he gave a small chuckle but his gleaming eyes were still serious and tender. "What do you say?

"Stop crying?" was my dumb reply. Frankly, I didn't exactly know what to say. He was asking for my heart. My soul. He asked me to forgive, to be his but I wasn't certain I was willing to commit to anything, however brief it was.

He took my reply as a no. Swift, he shook his dark head and swiped a the back of his palm across his glittering eyes as he stood. "I understand if you don't reciprocate my feelings. That's okay. I will ask my lawyer to draft another contract so you can have the remainder of the money needed for your casino. Your cars will also be given back to you and anything else you want for damages. Then we will wait for the affair scandal to pass so that your grandfather can include your mother in his will. After that we can divorce and go our separate ways. I'll also be your best friend if you won't have me as a lover. At least, you will still be a part of my life. And if you don't want to, that's also okay."

Overwhelmed, I opened my mouth but he held out a hand, not giving me a chance. "No, Jadesola. You don't have to say anything to make me feel better. I totally understand. Who knows? One day you might forgive me. That is the much I ask of you."

He shot me one last penetrating look that screamed of his need, his want then he whirled around, taking a step forward.

Before he could take another step, I bolted up and flung my arms around his neck, my body snug against his rigid spine. "Kian, wait."

He paused, his heavy pants filling the air.

"Look at me."

He circled in reverse. The intensity of his gaze nearly had the words streaming out of my lips cease, but I whipped them out, holding those beautiful azure eyes captive as well. "You didn't let me finish. Now, wait here."

I knew what I had to do. On my way to the vanity, I picked the dagger, returned it on the polished surface and clutched my own promise. Harsh breathing permeated the place, a feeling of anticipation surging in the atmosphere as I walked to him.

His eyes darkened. "Jadesola, you don't have to–"

"It's my turn, Kian." I slipped the ring on and knelt down a few feet away, tipping my head up.

He lowered his head down, roaming along my face as I laid a steady hand on my beating heart. "The first time I met you at my casino, I was attracted to you. But you had to be rude and my attraction changed to hate. I was bitter, being at your mercy rubbed off on me the wrong way. Not only that, I was pissed at you for making me your assistant so I tried all I could to sabotage your company's growth. I wore the slutty clothes because it gave me a sick feeling, watching you look but not touch. When you decided to touch, violating me, you made that hatred grow worse."

A look of pain flickered across his face and he shut his eyes. I closed my eyes, recalling that brutal memory and pried them open, trashing the recollection. "But you're not wrong. I'm a big bitch. A very selfish one."

His gaze jolted wide as he started to speak but I was fast, raising a finger. "You know it, I know it. We might be polar opposites but we are alike. That is not a lie. I realize now that I lashed out at you because I couldn't bear to like you. After Amir left me, I was scared of falling again. I didn't want to trust someone else. Couldn't bring myself to admit I had feelings for you. But I do. I love how your eyes glow whenever you look at me. It makes me feel light, like I'm floating on the air. How you care for me, even when I do stupid things that draw us apart."

My eyes watered, my chest rising and falling, swift, as I angled my face high to see him better. Bounding him to memory, I uttered, voice husky, "Our marriage might not be real but this ring that lays on my heart is my vow to you, Kian. It is my vow that I've forgiven you and I'm not angry anymore. My promise to never have you mad or furious at me again. So yes, I will have you, if you will also have me."

Surprised, his lips pulled back, as if he wanted to speak but words seemed to fail him so he only held out a strong palm.

Contrition shone in his moist blue gaze, warm and fulfilling. I quelled the doubts, the questions that warned me to steer clear of this beautiful man whose cheeks dipped with dimples when he smiled. The man whose laughter was the happiest sound I'd ever heard. I might not love him but there was a flutter in my heart whenever he was near, a heat that singed at me. A need only him could assuage. So I ignored all those doubts and placed my hand in his.

"I will have you, Jadesola." He lifted me up and pulled me to him, snaking an arm around my waist. Before I could blink an eye, he'd carried me off the ground and twirled me in his arms, his lips nuzzling at the arch of my neck, loving. "I will fucking have you. Thank you so much for giving me another chance. I swear I'll not let you down."

"You'd better not!" Carefree laughter welled out of me and I laced my fingers into his silky hair, massaging gently. He twirled me still, peppering small kisses on my chest. Our body danced around to a beat only we could hear as we swayed, our naked reflections from the mirror catching my eyes.

The boom of his phone resounded, bursting the cocoon of pleasure I found myself bound in.

"That damn phone," he swore, voice muffled as he flattened his hot mouth near the corner of my lips.

"Lower me down and answer it." My tone was not very convincing and he noticed.

He spun me again, gazing up into my eyes. "I don't want to. Not when you're mine now."

Mine. Giggling, I yanked at his hair. "Yes, I'm yours and will always be here. That call won't be."

"Jadesola," Kian groaned, nodding his head in the negative. The ring tune was louder now, buzzing furiously.

"It might be business," I reminded him.

With a tiny moan of protest, he finally set me down on the floor. Then as if scared I would disappear immediately, he enveloped me in a hug, clutching me tight. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now, go you big baby. I'll still be here." I patted his hair, trying to reassure him.

With one last squeeze on my shoulder, he pulled away and sauntered to his study.

Drunk in happiness, I swayed on the balls of my feet and steered towards the bed. Spreading my arms, I plopped on the soft sheets with an ecstatic sigh. The beautiful ceiling stared at me, the silky sheets beneath me, a smooth velvet against my skin. Was this how, dare I mention it, love felt like? Like I was floating on the damn air, the urge to smile and laugh stuffing me so full until I felt I would burst, pulled apart at the seams? Like a balloon filled with warm air?

Minutes later, Kian emerged from the study.

I propped myself up on my tummy, flat on the bed. "It was business right?"

He grinned, those sexy dimples making something in me go hot. "It's business. Blondie said she's interested in investing."

"You're not pulling off that ring though."

"Getting possessive already, wife?" A full-blown grin curled along his lips.

I huffed, "Oh please. I'm merely securing my own investments, husband."

He winked at me before circling to approach the wardrobe. His mouthwatering buttocks tightened, calves bulging as he rummaged through the open drawer. All lean muscles and tantalising flesh. He was a beautiful specimen and he was all mine. A rush of possessiveness surged through me as I observed him, the area between my thighs, tingling.

Abruptly, Kian met my hungry look. "You know I can feel you staring."

Embarrassed, I itched to grant him a pinch of his own treatment, so I nodded at his cock. One would think it would be flaccid considering how I'd bolted after him with a knife but it raged, curving up to his stomach. "I was just looking at your. . . erm manhood. Doesn't that hurt?"

Instead of feeling humiliated, he glanced down and smirked. "My cock? It hurts like a motherfucker but I'm used to it."

Then a dark frown marred his face. "Is that blood?" Realization dawned and he was bolting towards me, forgoing his search. "It's your blood."

I chewed my lips, suddenly feeling very shy even though I'd been a reincarnation of Queen Cleopatra, the world's greatest femme fatale, minutes ago. "Yeah. When I tried to have sex with you the second time."

A moan of regret escaped him and raw anguish flickered across his face. "God, I hurt you again. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking when I took you roughly. I should have known you bruised easily. "

Then Kian was gathering me in his arms, examining my body thoroughly. I knew I looked a mess, puffy eyes, scattered hair, dried tears streaking down my face, my nose, snotty and probably tinged with red. But he nestled me in his arms like I was the most beautiful thing he had the opportunity to possess.

He counted the dark hickeys on my tender breasts. Placed soothing kisses on my inflamed nipples. Caressed the bruised crescent of his nails that had dug into my waist. My hips. My inner thighs, his fondles, a comforting warmth. As he did all these, he chanted softly, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Afterwards, he tipped my chin up, gentle, searching my face with a disturbed stare. "Does your vagina hurt?"

Why did he have to be so direct? Flushing terribly, I shook my head, comforted in his arms, all the pain faded. "Not really."

"Come, let me bathe you." His voice was hushed, the sadness lingering in his tone, a piercing thorn drilling into my heart.

"It's fine. Really." I raised a palm to cup his jaw.

"Please," he begged.

I saw it in his breath-taking eyes, the agony that whipped at him. There was no doubt that he believed it was his fault when it should have been mine.

"Alright," I whispered.

He carried me to the bathroom. I wasn't bleeding anymore but he took his time, washing me slowly. It wasn't sexual, just a comforting ritual between two people who longed for love. The gentleness of him, the kindness of his hands as they flitted over my wet skin, moved me to tears. But I let the water pouring from the shower mix with the salty fluids, unwilling to have him fussing over me again.

As Kian slid the sponge over my sensitive skin, I recalled how he'd brewed me tea to quieten my period cramps. The love poems he'd written for his soulmate. The juliet roses. That shy admission that he was learning my languages. How he'd cooked jollof rice even when I'd mocked him. How he'd knelt before me and professed his feelings then twirled me around. Another burst of emotion blossomed in my veins and I sagged against his body with a hopeful sigh.

Afterwards, he slid a nightwear on me, packed my hair in a bonnet and tucked me inside the bed, yanking the sheets over me. Then he took his own bath, changed into his pyjamas' trousers, chest bare and was now arranging the duvet on the sofa.

"You've got to be kidding me. The bed is big enough, come over here," I called, gesturing to the right side.

Kian chuckled but he didn't refute my request and arranged the duvet back onto the sofa. As he advanced, my eyes darted to his crotch. It was tented and I knew he hadn't sought relief yet while in the shower. My resolved hardened, I'd taken from him, it was time for me to give him pleasure.

He pulled open the curtains, the ethereal beams of the moonlight pooling on the floor before he switched off the night lamp. The bed dipped beneath his weight as he settled in.

His slow breathing, sure and true met my ears but I needed to be sure he was awake.

"Kian?"

"Hmm?" he hummed, a throaty murmur and hot need lanced through me.

"Make love to me."

A/N: Man, I'm not sure I edited this properly. I'm not sure I even gave it proper descriptions. Blame it on my vision dimmed with that stupid salt fluid in my eyes. Sigh. I swear I didn't cry. LIAR.

Jade's question is valid. Really, who is cutting onions? Someone hand me a hankie.🥲❤️

Not only that, Celine's Dion voice made me sob. Jesus. A whole hard man like me who hardly cries had tears brimming inna me eyes while I wrote down Kian's part. Sigh. WHEN AM I GETTING MY OWN MAN? What's all these?????!!!😭😭

Anyways, I'm not even talking much. What dyu think about this chapter? Did you feel anything or is it just me?😔

Also I know they didn't throw the LOVE word at each other, I have my reasons. *chuckles evilly*💀

Love,
Nita.
(Your fave author who goes to sob into her pillow while wishing she can kiss Celine Dion rn.)