<That stone you are throwing better hit me, 'cos I've got a brick for you>

|Kian|

Wednesday, June 9th, 2021

WHAT WERE the odds of my ex-wife not spamming me non-stop with silly messages? Zero? Yes, zero! Fucking zero odds. The darn woman was literally bothering my phone and I with her sappy excuse of an apology. An apology that was far far too late.

Unknown number: I'm sorry Kian. Please let's get back together.

I scoffed at the words on the screen, my lips pressed tight into a disbelieving sneer. The only time we were going to get back together was when pigs grew wings and flew. In another simple word, never.

Unknown number: I promise I'll be good, please just pick my call. KIAN! FUCKING ANSWER MY CALLS RIGHT NOW OR---

Yes that's right bitch, manifest the craziness festering in you. And also, how the fuck did she get that much unknown number to call me? The bitch had been contacting me with several unknown numbers ever since I divorced her four months ago and whenever I received such wacky calls and texts, she was blocked. ASAP.

About to block her ass again, another goddamn message came in. Man, I needed to get a new sim card.

Unknown number: I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. I miss you. Please, I swear I won't do it again! Please!!!!!!! I would die without you. Kian, you're the only person who understands me and I didn't mean to do it. Honestly. I thought I was past craving---

And I stopped reading, reluctant to deal with the shitty mess that was my ex. Tapping on the icon beside the profile information on the menu bar, I blocked her then kept my phone face down on the glossy surface.

I relaxed back into my chair and heaved out a weary sigh, closing my eyes. When was she going to get it into her head that we were no longer a thing? We were over. Done. There was nothing between us anymore, just emptiness and desolation.

Shards of the past flashed in my mind's eye.

My ex-wife pleading on the bed, her hands clasped together and tears brimming in her baby blue eyes. "Kian, I swear I'll never do it again."

She did it again.

Her fingers gripping the pole, her body gyrating yet she's staring at me, surprised she was caught in the act, a searing look that seems to say, 'I'm sorry you found me like this. I promise I'll stop.'

She didn't stop.

My ex gazed up at me, a soulful stare, fingers biting into my flesh. "Say you'll never leave me Kian, say it. Promise me."

Me looking down at her, managing to cup her face in my hands, despite the stinging sensation in my arms. "I promise Rina, I'll never leave you."

I left her.

Suddenly I found myself wishing for the impossible. That I could go back in time to save my ex from herself. To be there again.

No! You can't Kian, my mind reminded me. Or have you forgotten? Remember, Kian, remember.

And I did, a myriad of sad memories swamping me, the sour flavor of those recollections leaving behind a bitter taste in my mouth.

The never ending addiction. The dark secrets. The broken promises.

Darn it.

Remorse, anger, loneliness whipped furiously in me, fuelling the fiery cinders of my heart at what she'd done but I shoved them down into that deep dark hole within me, unwilling to go down that miserable lane once more. Then I let myself step into the cold persona I displayed to the world.

No more thinking of sad shit.

I reached out for the steaming cup of coffee on my desk, bringing the hot drink up to my lips. One careful sip, another and I spat it out, a splatter of brown liquid glittering on my desk.

"Alice!" I roared. What in the world had she just served me?

The door to my office flung open immediately and a tall, rake thin woman entered. "Yes sir?!"

"What did I tell you about how I want my coffee served?" My voice was cool now. The calm before the storm.

My recently hired personal assistant wrung her hands together, a gloomy look marring the features of her rather plain face. "You said it should be very bitter, with no addition of sugar or milk."

"Then why the heck is this coffee saturated with an alarming amount of milk and sugar?!" My voice rose a notch and I brandished the cup I gripped, drops of liquid spilling onto the desk.

No reply. Instead, she drew away, trembling palms clutching the fabric of her black skirt and her upper arms cinched firmly to the white shirt she wore. Fear rolled off her in waves.

"I asked you a question and I need an answer Alice!" I bellowed, slamming the ceramic mug down to the desk. It was a wonder the mug didn't crack despite the force I'd slammed it with.

Alice drew further into herself, if that was possible, as if I was a terrible beast hellbent on tearing her into bloody pieces then chomping her down for breakfast.

"I'm so..rry ssir, it wa..ss a mi..ss..ta..ke," she stuttered, her gaze fixed to the tiled floor.

Lord, I was an inch away from running my hands through my hair. How hard could it be to obey simple instructions? It was moments like this that made me miss Beth the more.

"A mistake you should never ever repeat again while you work for me. Because if you do, you'll be fired. Instantly! Now, get your sorry self out of my sight!" I bit out curtly, my brows knitted in a disapproving line.

She nodded vehemently, her black hair quivering with that vigorous motion and turned to leave until I halted her departure with a single harsh word.

"Stop."

She whirled around and started blabbering, eager to please me. "Yes sir? Should I get you another cup of coffee? I won't make such a mistake again. No sugar, no milk, I've got---"

I held up two fingers, an indication for her to zip it. "No. I have no urge to drink coffee again, thanks to you. Rather, get me a copy of the Chicago Tribunes and bring a rag to clean up this mess."

A forlorn expression depicted on her face, she left to do the task I'd ordered her to. Hopefully, she would follow them without any other mishap.

Now alone, I groaned into my palms. First, my ex-wife. Second, my clumsy feather-brained assistant. As I raked my hands through my hair, frustrated, I wondered what item was next in the list of 'operation wreck Kian's morning'.

Fuck.

A few minutes later, Alice was back with a copy of Chicago Tribunes tucked in the crook of her left elbow and an odd piece of brown cloth clutched in her right hand. She swiped the rag across the desk quickly, as though lingering within a feet of me was too much to bear. Placing the daily paper on the clean desk, she ran off.

I shook my head, morose. Such a mousy, spineless human.

Tugging the newspaper closer, I began combing through. Old-fashioned it might seem, but drinking coffee---Alice had already ruined my chances of having one at the moment---and reading a copy of Chicago's best newspaper was how I started my day at the office, a daily routine. I had acquired the habit from my father and not only did it save me the stress of waiting for my employees to inform me of any dip or rise in the stock exchange market, I also gleaned countless amounts of information about the business world.

BACK TO INTENSIVE FARMING!
Jim Sholms, Chicago's richest farmer, says, "It uses little capital or labour and gives you immense profit!" That said, we editors of the Chicago Tribune inquires, what's the slack?! Join the proceeds and harvest massively!

Boring. I flipped the page.

WHY STAY ON A-(NA)-LOG, WHEN YOU COULD GO DIG-IT-AL(L) WITH CRYPTO?
Ealon Mursk, world's richest man, tells us that Bitcoin, a fast rising digital coin, could be the next step up in the gain.

Interesting, I mused as I read the article. I made a mental note to include cryptocurrency as a topic in my next board meeting.

I turned to the next page.

PEPPER DEM IS TEETERING ON THE CLIFF OF DOOM AFTER ITS OWNER'S FIANCÉ TOOK A FRENCH LEAVE WITH MORE THAN HALF OF THE CASINO'S EARNINGS!

My eyes widened a bit, the name of the casino ringing a faint bell in my head and I scanned the passage to deduce the gist of the story.

Amir Mohammed, now ex-fiancé of Jadesola, part time model and business woman, eloped on Monday night with gaming chips worth $10,000,000 (ten million dollars). Yep, you read that right. A whopping ten million grands! This large sum of money was stolen from Pepper Dem, a lucrative casino located in the downtown of Chicago.

Why he did this is unknown. Perhaps greed. Perhaps some other ulterior motive because we are as amazed as you! After all, sons of a country's vice president are meant to be born with a golden spoon in mouth, not snatching said spoon away and in a crude manner too!

Nevertheless, we sympathize with Jadesola who must be grieving for the loss of her finances and fiancé!

Also;

"The downfall of Miss Jadesola Anyalewechi, owner of the recent casino in town, Pepper Dem, might have just been as a result of her bad mouth," says one of the reporters who was insulted by Jadesola in Yoruba, a language spoken by the people living in the south western part of Nigeria.

Below is a picture of the lady, taken as she was stepping out of her casino.

I stared at the woman clad in a pink tracksuit, the material clinging to the contours of her curvy body, clutching a Starbucks paper cup. A pair of shades sat on the bridge of her pert nose, her lips fixated in a smile that I was sure was false. That stubborn tilt of her chin spoke volumes.

Peering at the grainy photo a second time, it was without doubt that this was the haughty bitch who'd insulted me in her casino last week. No wonder she'd sounded so bossy. A high class snob who'd dared to pour a glass of cocktail down my shirt. Mocking me. Ridiculing me.

Hmm, I cocked a brow, satisfied and amused at the amazing turn of events. If I was certain, then she was up to her neck in an enormous rubble of debts and loans. It was even possible that she was requesting for financial aid at the moment.

How the mighty have fallen.

An idea began forming slowly in my head. This was an excellent opportunity for me. A perfect advantage. If she was in dire need, I could exact my revenge on her by offering her a form of relief, then snatching my offer away just when she was caught in my snare with nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. And she'll be in even more trouble.

How the tables have turned.

A smirk curled along the side of my upper lip as I rolled the newspaper, setting it aside.

But first, I had to eliminate other competitors---those who would be willing to aid her---so that I would be the only great white shark roaming in the dark blue sea.

***

"Alice, get your lazy ass into my office right now!" I bellowed, straining my voice yet again.

Man, my choice of words and yelling was so unprofessional but sadly, that's what you do when you have Alice as an assistant.

I'd been calling her for some minutes now, both orally and through the intercom, yet the darn human wasn't responding to any. It wasn't even lunch time, so there was no perhaps she went to get lunch. Neither was she supposed to be that busy to answer me, her boss. Those reasons stated, I had zero inkling of what she was up to and honestly, Guinness was more than welcome to present an award to her as World's Most Incompetent Personal Assistant.

Fuck my life.

Annoyed as heck, I closed my eyes, my stiff spine giving way and relaxing into the swiveling chair when deafening silence met my ears again. What professional qualities had spurred Ryan to employ this lady? Was it her 'quick-wit', her efficiency that was yet to manifest, her productivity that was nil or had he just done it to spite me?

I wouldn't put it past the bastard to do that.

My eyes flew open as a silver of doubt permeated through the fiery clouds of my justified anger. What if she'd ran away? Probably, she'd been unable to withstand me anymore, quickly abandoning her job and boss, stepping into Beth's pumps and following in her predecessor's footsteps. And as much as I hated the likelihood of that, it was quite possible.

No, I flexed my fingers, Alice was too much of a chicken. A coward. She was too afraid of me to run off.

My eyes roved across the clutter free desk, another object the source of my rapidly increasing ire. That damned cup of coffee, smudges of dried brown liquid soiling its rim and exterior, sat squat on the glossy surface, out of place from the documents, numerous files, an iPhone plus a telephone system, a rolled up Chicago tribune, a closed macbook and a glass plaque that manned my desk.

How could she wipe my desk clean and forget to take away the coffee cup still on top? Just how?! Especially when she fucking knew I liked my things arranged and in perfect pristine conditions.

Jesus, I kneaded my temple with my right fingers, exasperated. Guess I finally knew what item was next in the list of 'Operation wreck Kian's morning'. It was; Alice should make sure her ears are stuffed with wool, blatantly flaunt the rules and in the process get her boss all riled up.

Not only had Alice wrecked my excited mood big time, she'd also contributed to wasting the precious minutes I could have used in bringing that haughty black bitch down.

"Alice!" I roared again. The last action I would take was to stand up, walk through my door and begin searching for her. I hadn't done it before and I wasn't about to start now.

"Yes sir?" A groggy voice floated to my ears, the owner of said voice appearing in front of me, my office door now wide open.

Finally, Alice stood before me in all her disheveled glory, rubbing her eyes with both hands and ratty hair tousled. Her collar was crumpled flat, the front of her blouse creased and wrinkled like she'd been lying on it. And only one activity induced such an aftereffect.

Sleep.

I pressed my lips into a line, mad as a hornet. She'd been asleep? Asleep during working hours?! Where was Ryan? It was entirely his fault this lackadaisical woman stood before me.

"Are you aware that I've been calling you for the past fifteen minutes?" I asked calmly, mildly, a façade shrouding the temper storm that raged through my frame.

She shook her head, that motion unsteady, still clutched in the throes of sleep and her words slurred as she replied, "No sir, I just heard you calling me now."

Calm down Kian. Deep breaths. Deep deep breaths. Remember she's the eleventh PA hired this month and I'm sure you don't want to make that twelve.

I ignored the voice of reason and inquired, my tone cold. Arctic. Glacial. "I see. Okay, if you just heard me now, then what were you so busy doing that you couldn't hear me, your boss and salary payer, requesting for your assistance then?"

Her eyes flared wide, a semblance of sanity returning to their muddled brown depths. Then she avoided my penetrating gaze, choosing to admire her tangled fingers and the polished floor.

"You were sleeping right?" My voice was too soft. Too too soft. It was almost like I was talking to a baby, cooing gently to it. Like I was whispering sweet nothings to a lover. But those who knew me well, knew that I was on the verge of erupting.

"Am I right or am I right?" I queried in that same relaxed tone.

"No sir, I was not---" A heavy yawn interrupted her sentence, belying her statement. As a result, her cheeks turned fiery red and she gulped, her fear so tangible I could almost cut it with a knife.

In a flash, a roaring fire ignited, consuming me whole, eager to burn up everything in its path. Everything that was Alice. "Shut the hell up, you lazy fool. You were quick to assure me that you would make no more mistakes earlier this morning and yet, why the heck would you be sleeping during office hours, neglecting your job?! Or I guess to you, sleeping is probably not classified as a 'mistake'?"

I was on a roll, my voice like thunder. Rumbling. Loud. Frightening. "First, you ruined my coffee and then, the next thing you do is to fall asleep while working! While working Alice! Also, how could you clean my desk and you forgot to take away that goddamned cup of coffee?! What kind of PA are you? Huh?!" I pointed a finger to the white cup.

"I. . . I . . ." she began, her chin and lips quivering, about to start weeping.

But I was not in the mood for such theatrics. "Save it. As much as it would please me to say, 'you're fired' at the moment, I won't because unfortunately, I am still in need of you despite your shortcomings." Business was business and sometimes, you had to forgo some alternatives.

She nodded fast, relief on her once terrified face.

"First, get this cup out of here."

She scurried in my direction, quick to carry out my order.

"Then, I want you to compile a list of all the well known companies, businesses and enterprises in Chicago. I also want you to add their contact information along with their address. Be quick because I am giving you twenty minutes to do that. Once you're through, get back to me with the list."

I doubted the possibility of adding banks. Perhaps the bitch already owed one and if she was really stuck in serious debts, no other bank would want to lend her any money.

Alice nodded frantically, bobbing her head so fast that for a moment, I was certain it would fall off.

If only.

I looked at her, straight in the eyes. Daring her to fail me one more time. "Alice, if you don't compile that list before---"

Sliding my eyes to the gold watch latched onto my wrist, I made out the time.

"---10:30, I'll gladly tell you my favorite sentence and I'm sure we both know what that sentence talks about or should I elaborate?" I gave her a cold, threatening smile.

She shook her head in disagreement, preferring to stay mute than talk and I was more than fine with her preference.

"Now get out! 20 minutes max! Remember that!" With the way I'd been yelling, I was surprised my voice wasn't hoarse.

"Yes sir, got that sir!" Turning on the balls of her feet, she flew out of the door.

I gazed heavenwards after she left, wondering why, how and where Ryan had gotten this woman from. He'd better produce a believable backstory because my cousin sure had some questions to answer to.

A/N: So yes I did a play on words in the Chicago Tribune, lol and I also deliberately changed Elon Musk's name :-)) And this is my first name writing an article for a newspaper lmao.

Quick question: Dyu have any clue as to what exactly Kian's ex-wife did to him?

Quick quick question: What dyu think of Alice? Is Kian too harsh on her?

Btw, this scene reminds me of all these romance books where the PA is so clumsy and the boss is always angry at her and then boom one day, we find out that he is now attracted to his clumsy, moronic PA. But we all know who Kian is by now :-))

Thanks!
Nita.