CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Realest foot forward

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For the reasons that Satan felt sorry for what she unintentionally done to Kean and Sigmund already had his first turn, she necessitated herself to accept his invite.

Ok lang. It's your loss, not mine, was how her psychologist slash businessman of another suitor dealt with her apology for rescheduling his proposed date for a later time. His response had her and her siblings laughing uncontrollably, probably the only reason why while being prepped by Lucifer for her date, Hudas had--in a very taunting way--quipped:

"Mukhang boring ang magiging date mo for today't video, Tata, ha." He munched on the pear in his hand, the crunching sound as irritating as his grin.

"Hindi naman siguro," she tried to be as neutral as possible. "I've been friends with him for years long, I can say he can put up some humor if he'd want to. Madalas lang talaga siyang seryoso."

Having spent a number of alone times with the engineer in the past, there wasn't doubt in her mind that Kean would not know his stuff when it comes to humor; coming up with tasteful jokes so as not to dull every passing minute could actually be his strong point. However, her brother had a convincing argument, for she knew full well that their long-standing friendship have gone the way of casual acquaintanceship after he confessed his feelings and started making ways to win her heart. With that as the main crux, she had no idea how he'd be able to surface from very hot water.

"Ay tut. Parang hindi naman," Hudas laughed his objection. "We uted to tit with them during our company partiet, Tata. He can barely come up with a tatteful joke without Engineer Letter't help, to I doubt that he knowt hit ttuff when it comet to humor. Dapat kati ti Tigmu--"

"Duh! Sigmund already had his first turn, noh!" Lucifer interrupted, out of rage accidentally pulled Satan's hair she was perming, earning a wince from her. "Besides, most of what you've said just isn't so. Because for a guy who is committed to procuring the lover's role in a woman's life, he must be bringing his realest, not the funniest nor even the best foot forward. When I say realest, humor can empathetically be one but is still what its name implies. On the other hand, though, you Hijo de puta," she said the last part in a manner so peeving. It did not help that the corner of her mouth was touched with an evil curl, making her look like a devil, which she was fairly often. "Haven't we dealt to neither cheapen nor compare their competence in winning Sasa's heart over?"

Before Satan could even comprehend the expanse of Lucifer's mind, Kean came explaining, by means of showing rather than telling. He clearly had dedicated a lot of time and effort to unleash his love life's realest efforts--getting worked up to arrive with the most tasteful humor just to win her heart over and bring back how they used to be was everything but lacking heart. She could barely utter a word so fitting to describe how she felt amazingly adorned on their initial date, when Kean brought her to a tree house he claimed to have built all by himself. It was situated well back from his home's garden.

"I had it finished a mere two days ago, so I thought it would be the best place to date you." A smile crossed his lips. "How was it? Nagustuhan mo ba?"

"Your creativity is impeccable, Kean." She couldn't help to smile in unbridled ecstasy as her eyes framed every angle of its interior. "Very, very impeccable."

The tree house itself and the branches structured around its form were shaded with a coating comparable to varnish. A ball-like lighting fixture elaborately decorated with small branches of trees was suspended from its ceiling. Walls were adorned with a wooden clock and picture frames containing images carved out from leaves, formed out of assembled petals; each bearing Kean's signature on the bottommost part. Its floor was carpeted in full, boarding scraps of wood pieced together into a mini two-seater dining set, single bed, cabinets, and a rocking chair.

She was still in the midst of admiring his works of art when she felt the weight of his stare. Everything grew so quiet when they caught gazes; she could only hear the wooden clock's second hand making laps and her heartbeat racing in a crescendo.

"W-why?" she chanced to break the silence a little flusteredly. "Is there...something wrong or...or missing with my attire?"

Howbeit Lucifer reigns supreme in the matters of fashion, Satan had briefly passed her eyes on her form to nitpick nevertheless. And as expected--from her permed hair to her fitted waist-length spaghetti top, to her vintage high-waisted trouser, and down to her pair of low-cut overshoes--she found none to criticize. She may not have been good at pulling off every variation of outfits, but her sister would always give the best to pick one that conforms not only to the event and venue but also to her gender and/or self-expression.

He shook his head. "There's nothing."

"Then why...are you looking at me that way?"

"'Cause looking at you..." he bit on his lower lip for a second, "made me think I hit my head somewhere that I started seeing something so luminous like the stars." He smiled brighter than the country's future, withdrawing not his eyes from her face. "Ang ganda-ganda mo, Sasa."

Rather than feeling emotionally stirred, she instead burst into a few giggles any suitor may find embarrassing.

"S-sorry...sorry..." having pulled herself back to her senses, she apologized. "N-naalala ko kasi bigla 'yong...'yong naging usapan namin nina Lulu at Datdat about stars...I'm really really sorry..."

Of all the time, why did that have to rush in now? she thought with a heavy sigh.

"Wala talagang araw na hindi ka mapapatawa  ng dalawang 'yon, ano? And in every instance they'll do, it's almost always so unforgettable. Ano na naman bang kalokohan ng dalawang 'yon?" He sounded more in humor to listen than dissed. "Mga hindi nauubusan, eh."

She gazed up at him, by all looks eager to begin her story. And so she did.

"Kasi we were leafing through one of Lulu's men's magazines one night when we were about to sleep," laughter was already in her voice even though she was yet to reach the climax. "Then there's this one bachelor who appeared to be a spitting image of the young Daniel Padilla. Sabi ni Lulu, if the guy wasn't a businessman, he would've made it as the face of the showbiz industry or perhaps a superstar since the short article says he's got the voice and the moves. And well, of course, I couldn't agree more. Pero itong si Datdat, hindi." She laughed anew. "Napatanong tuloy si Lulu kung bakit. Sagot niya, not all handsome and talented men are cut out to be one with the stars, 'yong iba raw nagkasya na sa pagiging kapatid at anak, parang siya."

Their roars of sniggers circled the tree house.

"But of course, hindi siya pinalampas ni Lulu," she continued. "Sabi niya, of all the things our brother have said, 'yon daw ang pinaka hindi totoo. He asked her why and Lulu's exact explanation was: it's because the rest of the men really do shine like the stars, whereas comparatively kumikinang-ina ka lang."

Lucifer's humor placed them back in a laughing mood for quite a minute.

"Naalala ko rin tuloy si Lester," he segued smoothly, talking about their colleague. "Nag-aya siyang magkape no'ng nakaraan, sagot niya na raw pati finger foods. Sabi ko, baka pwedeng sa susunod na lang at ako na lang manlilibre kasi that time nag-overtime tayo sa site. Tapos sabi niya sa 'kin, hindi raw pwede kasi huling gabi na raw 'yon ng lamay ng paborito niyang Tito."

For the nth time, they shared a moment filled with giggles.

"Lokong 'yon," he went on seconds after coping. "Minsan na nga lang kung manlibre, sa lamay pa talaga."

"Wait. Wait. Wait. I can remember Papa and Mama going to his Tito's wake. No'ng Wednesday ba 'yan?" she asked, earning a nod from him. "Sabi na, eh. I remember them coming home late that night. What's funny is that they thought they visited a party rather than a funeral. 'Yon pala, gano'n ang laging bilin ng Tito Oswald niya bago pa man siya ma-diagnose with Cancer because that's how much he hates seeing his loved ones in tears. May mga nakita raw sila ro'n na nagka-karaoke, nag-iinuman, at may mga parlor games pa nga raw para sa mga bata."

"Oo," he nodded, "masiyahing tao kasi 'yong Tito niya na 'yon. I met him a few times, and I always come home with a smile. Magcha-chat pa 'yon para tanungin kung nakauwi na ba 'ko kasi nakaantabay raw siya sa balita at wala pa raw lumalabas na breaking news na nagsasabing, bente-seis anyos na lalaki, patay matapos patayin. "

Not only did she smile because of what she heard about the late relative of Lester, but also with how Kean's face glowed at the mention of such a sweet-yet-disguised-in-joke moment she assumed was seldomly occurring ever since he lived life alone. 

"Hey...Sasa..." his voice trailed off as though something rendered him timid. "You suddenly grew quiet. May nasabi ba 'ko?" He even tried to jest, "O ako 'tong may mali sa damit? Hindi ba bagay--"

"Oh. No. No. No. Please don't get me wrong, Kean." She waved her hands to differ. "You actually pulled off an attire not every guy can." While she may not be the most stylish, she was blessed with quite a good judgment, and Kean's yellow of a turndown collar shirt tucked in off-white straight-cut loose pants, paired with black leather open-toe sandals suited him flawlessly, debunking other's notions that yellow's a cut out for male fashion faux pas. "Natahimik lang ako bigla because rarely would your face glow that much. I wanted to let you enjoy the memory for a ti--"

"Rarely?" His eyebrows met. "Really, Sasa?" She suddenly noticed they'd really been dropping their formal designations lately, which was fine. "Haven't you noticed the same glow whenever I'm with you?" He laughed when she faced away looking flustered, probably even intentionally added fuel to it and so, he added, "I missed this, you know... 'Yong ganitong nagkukwentuhan lang tayo, nagbibiruan at nagtatawanan nang walang ilangan."

"W-we've been standing for long, are we not?" She coerced a chuckle. "C-can I... have the honor t-to be the first to sit on... on this masterpiece of... of yours?" she asked, referring to the dining seat she thought was to syncopate her grasp of uncomfortableness, but it was prolonged by Kean's next words,

"Ever since I confessed my feelings and started courting you, I've observed how all things started to be awkward between us." Both obviously feeling that they were in an uncomfortable position to move, they remained on their feet, parallel to each other. "But of course, I ain't blaming you. Naiintindihan ko na kaya nagkagan'to, eh, dahil talaga sa 'kin."

Like the many instances when one could not know what to respond or do in situations where it is inappropriate to pay impolite attention, Satan opted to offer him silence. Her gaze trailed from Kean to her feet whilst her left hand climbed to the long strap of her sling bag, which she started fiddling with; illuminating her budding guilt.

"Oh, tignan mo." Kean poked her on the waist, causing her to flinch somehow laughingly. "Starting today, Sasa, can we please bring that closeness back, so we can get to enjoy this date and the next ones we'll have?"

"I...I suppose there's no...harm on redeeming that," she replied.

There was, however, an apparent consequence that interfered in her mind: the constant dread of having her actions indistinguishable from what is romantic and what is not, which may give Kean hope that can later be proven false.

She chose to chase her thoughts away just once and forced herself to behave as normally as possible in front of him. "So..." She ran her gaze towards the dining set. Smiling, she eyed him again. "I guess we can sit now?"

Kean was quick to pull a chair for her and excused himself for a moment only when she was settled. He came back with a huge tray loaded with bites and quenchers--all seemingly home-made by him.

On the table, he laid out the banana leaf he was tucking in his arm and started arranging all the finger foods on it upon wearing the same pair of plastic gloves he handed Satan.

"Don't tell me you prepared all this, Kean?" Her tone gave off frank disbelief.

There were spicy buffalo wings, fried and barbequed pork and beef, stir-fried vegetables, fresh lettuce, buttered shrimp, baked scallops and clams, grilled milkfish, and a pitcher of her favorite cranberry juice on the side.

His lips curved up. "I ain't gonna allow this to be any ordinary first date, Sasa."

She so appreciated his effort in striving to turn their initial date into a special one, but then her mind went back to the day when she had her first date with her first love. Ulysses went about baking her favorite mango cupcakes. Their bottoms were overly-done, mixing up its bitter taste with the well-done part in every bite, but nothing could have been comparable to the abundance of sweetness his gesture had brought.

The corners of her lips involuntarily rose at the thought of Ulysses.

"You're smiling, Sasa," Kean said, snapping her out of her thoughts. 

A glimmer of surprise flickered across her face at the sight of her suitor. For a moment she buffered, only realizing then that she fell into a trance in the middle of their date.

"S-sorry..." She sat bolt upright in shame. "A-ano nga ulit 'yon?

"I said you're smiling," he reiterated. "Bakit? May naalala ka ba? Kwento mo naman sa 'kin kung ano o sino." 

The stretch on her lips widened, then the words absentmindedly burst from her lips;

"Ulysses...and our very first date..." Her eyes blinked rapidly in panic when she realized what she just said. "I--I mean--"

It was too late when it hit her. Kean had already cut her short, saying,

"It's okay, Sasa." He squeezed her hand resting on the table. "It's okay. I know it's not easy to forget a lifetime of memory. Kaya hindi ako magagalit kung minsan sa bawat paglabas natin maalala o mababanggit mo siya. Hindi rin ako magagalit kung matatagalan bago ka makalimot. But I wish it won't madden you if," he paused for a time, "if I'll opt to help you forget and learn to open your heart again for someone new. For me...If chances will lead you to me."

Her eyebrows fused in an angry line, then sympathetically softened when they shared a look. It was written all over his face that he meant nothing as bad as what she thought of him, wanting to rush her through her grieving and aiming to bury the memories of Ulysses into oblivion.

"Mm..." she mumbled her yes. 

Although Satan did not know how and when Kean would bring to pass what he said, she wasn't surprised when he took her for an unsolicited tour of his home she'd visited months back during the house blessing, and then he suddenly talked about the things his mind holds.

Of all the things he spoke about, her mind could only remember so much. Such of those was when he walked her through the garden, then he told her that the carved-out-from-stone and suspended-on-ground recreational apparatus scattered in the place along with the flowers and trees he'd grown represented his love: they could last the test of time. Another was when he took her into the playroom and said it was one of the primary reasons why he didn't take lodging at a condominium, for he didn't want a limited and shared space for what he deemed was everything for his children: happiness. Lastly was in the pool area, where he spoke words that echoed in her mind in the span of their travel going somewhere she was yet to know;

"Just like the water that descends from the simulated falls into the pool, I can be the water and you can be the pool. 'Cause I'm willing to venture into your little-known waters."

In the abandoned building, where he brought her once when she had one of her worst hang-ups, was where he intended to bring her. It was still as quiet, unfrequented, and awe-inspiring as it was on their first visit. They sat alongside each other on the dusty ground, backs against the crumbling wall; both regarding nature's wonder with awe.

"Did I bore you?" Kean unexpectedly broke the hush.

She tilted her head in his direction, folds deep on her forehead. "What do you mean?"

"With this date I planned...did I..." He let the anticipation linger for a while. "Did I bore you?"

She wore a genuine smile for him. "I see no reason to be."

"Did you say so 'cause you don't have the wheels right now?" He kidded in a manner so easy to detect that it wasn't to provoke laughter but to express his budding doubt about himself.

"I love to go through things quickly if they are pointless, and Grab is just within my fingertips, Kean." She maintained eye contact with him. "I can book one if I want to. Or I can make up some excuse for you to take me home."

"Our fingers and toes combined wouldn't suffice the number of times I worried over the possibility of boring you today, so I'm so sorry that I had to ask. You know I lived not gathering much of experience in dating...for I was so fixated on the idea of us..."

"Kean--"

"I know. I know." He let out a hollow laugh. "Silly how long-standing these feelings of mine are, no? And that gets to the nub of the problem; I'm someone who has waited for my chance for a long time so I might over-do this and you might find me a creep."

Kean may not have told, with no-holds-barred, his feelings towards her, but she got the message. At first, as what might be expected, physical and emotional uneasiness developed on her part. But those didn't progress as far as seeing him as a creep or someone obsessedly into her like what he was claiming himself to be.

Thus, she replied, "If you were, Kean, I swear my mentally-alert self would have had a clue as early as when you confessed and I would've told you off for that. Or worse I would've asked Papa to fire you and may have demanded the authorities to secure me with a safe distance from you. But we're out in an abandoned building right now, sitting in a good measure apart, and I'm unharmed. So, quit that thinking, will you? You're not being a creep. You're not being obsessed."

The part that killed her, was his response along the lines of;

"I dunno if you know, but I always feel understood around you..." and "I'm terrified of going back to the way things were before you came along..."