Because Marshall and Fionna made different choices, Norrington was already on the Dutchman, Jack was hot on their trail, and my crazy ex had a locket that played.... that played.... I turned to TV.

"You're very cruel, you know that?"

She looked surprised. "Why?"

"That... that's the song he wrote me. The one in the locket." I said, trying not to cry.

She hugged me, and we watched in silence. Norrington, who was that hot-head Flame guy, drank himself into a stupor over the Fiolee circumstances.

Anyway, Fionna and Marshall set sail for the island where the heart of Davy Jones was (I think the ship had maps...) . It's probably all shriveled and awful, like I always thought it was. The heart, I mean. Anyway, they knew Laurence was following them, and they knew Laurence had the key.

They arrived long before Laurence, Peter, Simon, and the rest. They had already dug up the chest, and were just waiting for them. But since Marshall was now captain (or was Fionna captain? I don't know, one of them) he (or she) was the one who controlled the Kraken. You see, Peter was no longer Captain because he was no longer on his ship. You can't be a Captain of something if you're not on it, no matter what Peter said to Laurence.

Peter's crew boarded their ship as Fionna handed Laurence the box. "Well, go on. Stab it."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. We're not going to do it. I may be Captain, but I don't want the job forever." Marshall said. Oh, okay. He's Captain. That clears that up.

"I don't want to be Captain. You be Captain." Laurence said.

"You're already a Captain. Just be an immortal Captain, with a ship that needs a good cleaning." Fionna said.

"Besides, the Kraken only answers the Captain of the Dutchman, and I don't know how to control it." Marshall added.

"You're the Captain!" Laurence sputtered.

"Dude, I had this job for a few days. I can't know everything about it, like how to call off this huge creature."

"...You two are still mad about the 'leaving you on Davy Jones' ship, aren't you?" Laurence asked.

"Yep. You tried to get us killed, so you could leave this whole soul-thing behind." Fionna said.

"You better hurry, Laurence. Davy Jones isn't going to be happy about this killing-him-thing." Marshall said.

Laurence grimaced, then he turned the key.

The heart was red, and beating, and human. The one in the movie was fairly gray. Yeesh, TV. Really dragging this out, aren't you?

"You stab it." He said to Marshall.

"We just went over this. You stab it. Feel free to save my father while you're at it, but I haven't seen him in years. I went with Mom following the divorce, and Marceline went with Dad."

"Guys, we have to get rid of it. Either you stab it, or you stab it, or just hand me the damn thing and I'll stab it." Fionna said. See? Keira Knightley was all, 'you lied to me! Stop fighting!' Fionna just wants to end this.

"No!" Laurence and Marshall said together.

"The Dutchman already has a Captain." Laurence said, trying to hand Marshall the knife.

"I believe I've made it clear the temporary nature of that position!" He said, handing it back.

"Why don't you both just hand it back to Davy Jones, we apologise for stealing his ship, Laurence finds an alternative to renting out his soul, and we all go home?" Fionna suggested.

They both looked at her like, are you kidding me?

"That's actually a pretty good solution." I said to TV.

"Yeah, but they need the manly testosterone stuff to keep them running. Logic, here, now? Don't make me laugh."

"Then why don't we keep the chest, and get Jones to call off the Kraken before it kills us all?" Fionna suggested.

The guys looked at her, then at each other, and nodded once, each taking one end and running, Fionna hot on their trail.

"We have to get back to the ship. The Kraken's still on our tail."

So, they rowed back to the ship, as fast as possible. I saw the sun hit Marshall once or twice, but only for a second. He bared his teeth and drew in a sharp breath, but never faltered. Fionna shot him some sympathetic looks, and after the ship was at full speed, she tried to bandage his arm.

"I'm fine, Fi. We have to focus all our energy on outrunning it-" The ship hit it.

Most people were evacuated, but Fionna stopped Laurence. "You know what it's after."

"I better. It's after m- no one."

"I know it's after you, Laurence! I also know the only way the rest of us will be safe is if you go down with it!"

"You're still mad about that? I tried to get you kids back!"

"You can't play Glob with other people's souls, Laurence!"

With that, she attacked him. Everyone else was gone, besides them, including Marshall. Then, it appeared Laurence was winning. "Three times Fencing Champion in High School. You got nothing on me, girly." Right. The fourth time, Ally beat him while Fionna watched as a baby.

Fionna almost went down, but something hit Laurence on the head. Hard. It appeared to be a flying sword handle. Laurence went down with a goofy look on his face.

Fionna grinned. "Thanks Marshall."

He appeared, grinning at her. "Anytime, Fi. When people threaten you, it makes me mad. Least I could do was knock the guy out."

She grabbed his hand. "Come on, we have to get to the boat!"

They escaped just as the Kraken took the boat. Laurence appeared next to me, and I hit him on the arm. "Coward. Where was the chest?"

"Um... in... the brig....?" He said.

"Why you and Marshall didn't just listen is beyond me." I snapped.

After yet another scene from the movie, where Beckett gets the heart (but that obviously didn't happen here), I was zapped back.

Fionna looked like she had been crying. "Why are you crying?" I asked her, interested.

"Because I just left him there. And I was going to do it anyway."

"He's still alive, doesn't blame you, and I think he's hitting on TV. Also, he deserved it, and to save everyone else, you needed to kill him. I would have done the exact same thing, and he's my brother. He may be your uncle, but he was a rotten arsehole in the movie and deserved what he got. Besides, he's still technically the most evil person in Ooo because no one's challenged him on it yet, and so your Batman-moral-code thing is still intact." I said.

"So... any particular reason why we're here? You obviously know all about Jack's death." Marshall said, putting his arm around Fionna's shoulder and pulling her close. She leaned against him, still obviously shaken by Laurence's... death.

"Oh, probably for the weird ending. You see, I've been working on a Barbossa zombie in my attic. He's finally alive again."

Barbossa, of course, was my other brother, David.

"Where's my ship?" He asked.

"By the way, if you want to go into family members murdering each other, Laurence killed him in the last movie, and Laurence tried to kill me in real life. So, you're good to go." I said, drinking some coffee I had been passing around.

"Olivia, where is my ship?" David asked again, clearly annoyed.

"Davy Jones' Locker, along with Laurence." I snapped.

"Well, that makes three of us. Where's Ally?" He answered, before he finally noticed Fionna and jumped back a bit.

"Whoa! Ally, you scared me! Warn me before you teleport, okay? Wait, what? Have you been... crying? Olivia, who is this?"

"Your niece, you idiot." I snapped.

"Oh. Hey, kid. I haven't seen you in... ever, actually. Heard about you in the tabloids. Last thing I remember, giant bomb killing me. Glad you survived. I think...?"

"Yeah, she survived. I sent her and her brother ahead a thousand years. And Laurence was th eone who set off the bomb, so Fionna, you have a long way to go before you reach the level of messed-up-ness that the rest of us have." I said.

"And that's a good thing." I heard Marshall mutter.

"Yep. End credits time!" And we were back in Aaa. David was gone- apparently that really was him. TV is really cruel, okay?

I shot them both a look. "Don't try to fix my possessed telly again, okay? You might end up in another Disney film- and this one might not be so nice."

They stared at me. Whatever. It really could have been worse.

----------------------------------

What? ou guys literally have no idea who Ally and David are?

Of course not. I haven't published that part yet. It's the last part of 'The Strange Case of Dr. Marshall and Mr. Lee'.

Let me put it this way- Ally's Finn and Fionna's mom, and she's an evil be-yotch. David is the next child, before Laurence, then Olivia. Look, the entire backstory is coming up later, and I've mainly written this for myself.

This isn't a throwback to that Harry Potter thing I wrote. That was like a poorly edited video, this is like a reshooting of the entire movie.