I was zapped to a little room, one door that led to a bathroom, a flatscreen, LED TV right in front of a fold-out couch, a table covered in paper and writing utensils with a fully stocked mini-fridge in the corner. Sweeeeeet. What wasn't so sweet was the girl with dark brown curls and blue eyes in a red dress glaring at me.

"Okay. Don't remember this." I said. Seriously. What part of the movie was this?

"That's because you've never been here before." The girl snapped.

"Okay... is this like, Tia Dalma's back room? Where she keeps all her swag? Because that'd be awesome."

"This isn't Tia Dalma's home- this is mine."

"Okay then- who are you? Because I am getting no questions answered."

"You may call me Titania Veronica."

"What, no last name?"

"It's not required. My name is simply Titania Veronica."

"Can I call you TV?"

The girl gave me a look like I murdered her grandmother, ran over her puppy, and ate her last cookie.

"No." She said coldly.

"I'm going to call you TV anyway. So- who are you exactly?"

"I'm the spirit of your television." No wonder she didn't want me to call her TV. Still going to do it.

"Oh- you're my possessed telly who sent us here in the first place. So... where are we?"

"Like I said, my home. This is where I see all the movies, see you and your brother and your guests, see your memories. I can't leave, but you can." 

"Yeesh. Creepy. So... we just watch them play it out?" 

"Well... when they're not there, they're here." 

"Um... okay. Got any popcorn? I think it's starting." 

TV waved me over, and grabbed a bowl of popcorn. We sat on the couch and watched the beginning credits show up.

Then Fionna was standing at the altar, all alone in the rain, looking surprised, cold, wet, and sad. (Unlike Keira Knightley, who just looked like, 'he left me... why?') Then there was the dropping the bouquet and running over (has she seen this movie recently?) and Marshall, who was handcuffed, grinned and said, "Sorry I'm late, Fi. I got a little... hung up." He held up his hands for emphasis.

"Hey, at least you didn't leave me at the altar." She said, kissing him quickly.

Gumball, who was Beckett, cleared his throat. "He may yet, Miss Swann." Wait... does Stephanie Meyer watch these movies?

"Gumball- why is Marshall in chains?" She asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Don't worry Olivia, the generated character who looks like someone they know hears her say 'Beckett' and 'Will'- as do all other generated characters. I'm not an amateur, I've learned from the Simon-Vizzini incident." TV told me.

"Mr. Turner is in chains because he is under arrest." Willy Wonka's failed experiment said stiffly.

"I keep telling you, I'm innocent of whatever you've made up now." Marshall said in a sing-song voice.

"Why are you arresting him?" Fionna asked, really annoyed with King Candy or whatever his name was.

An underling came over with a satchel that the walking Fruit-By-The-Foot took an envelope out of.  Really, dude, really? An envelope? What, does it have the wedding invitation in it?

"Mr. Turner is accused of conspiring to set free a man convicted of crimes agianst the Crown and Empire, and condemned to death, for which the punishment is also, regrettably, death." Fruity Tooty read out. Marshall immediately began struggling and Fionna said, "I don't know what kind of game you're playing Gumball, but let Marshall go or I swear, I'll-!"

"Wait, sorry, my bad. This warrant's for her arrest." King Candy said. Soldiers immediately held Fionna back, and the two teens began struggling more than ever.

"Gumball, I swear to Glob, when I get out of here, your head will roll." Marshall swore vehemently.

"Perhaps we can strike a deal, Mr. Turner. So you remember a certain pirate by the name of 'Jack Sparrow'?" Candyman asked.

"Say it, say it! It's awesome!" I chanted softly.

"Captain!" Fionna and Marshall said together.

I fist-pumped and ate some popcorn.

"Captain Jack Sparrow." Fionna said.

"Yes. I thought you might." Gumwad said before the scene changed and Marshall and Fionna appeared. I quickly explained TV to them, and we watched the horrid prison scene. You know, for kids!

The crow was blasted by a ball of green fire, and I stared, horrified.

"No no no! Please no! He's like, the anti-Sparrow!" I begged. Plus, he'd be here with us later. And then there was the confrontation. Actually, Laurence seemed to handle it well.

"Thank God- he's sticking to his lines." I said.

"Is he... surviving... by making them be confused?" Fionna asked.

I nodded. "Such is the way of Jack Sparrow- even as Laurence."