"Leon, wala ba akong sinabi na hindi maganda kagabi?" tanong ko. I can already recall what I have done last night. I have been so drunk, hindi naman ganoon kadetalye ang lahat. I did sell myself to those guys, baka mamaya pati din si Leon, nadamay ko.

Jusko, huwag naman sana. Sobrang nakakahiya na lang. Ano na lang ang mukhang maihaharap ko kay Leon. Last night was so embarrassing and I can't bear he witnessed some. The feeling of being competitive back in high school suddenly came back. Sobrang nakakahiya, if back in those times, pagtatawanan lang niya ako.

Just act normal Oli. Sana kasi hindi mo na lang tinanong.

Agad siyang napalunok, parang tensyonado, kaya pati ako kinabahan. What if I said something? I will really force myself out to his car. How can I act normal if I said something awful. Paano?

"Ah, bukod sa mga hugot mo, wala naman." What a relief! Good thing I haven't told him anything. Ayoko nang maalala ang mga nangyari kagabi. Sila yung mga memories na dapat nang ialis sa isip, katulad ng leche kong ex.

"Saan ba pwede matulog dito." Nakasanadal lang ang ulo ko sa headboard habang pumupungas pungas para pigilan ang antok. I have been sleepy since kanina pa at my head is still hurts. It hurts more dahil sa kakaisip ko kanina, at mas lalo pang sumasakit ulo ko dahil sa traffic, we are stuck here a bit. Yes Baguio is given to be a good place, but traffic will be its downside.

"Matulog talaga?Ayaw mo ba lumibot maganda magboating or magbike ngayon sa Burnham maganda pa naman ang panahon." Sinamaan ko siya nang tingin. Hindi ba obvious on my mood that I don't have a single urge to go around.

"Pantaleon, gusto ko matulog please."I muttered and I closed my eyes, laid my head against the window. I can deal with that later, kapag natapos na ko matulog. Yes I won't deny that I really wanted to go around in Baguio, because I wanted to go here so bad, simula bata pa ako. I am always fascinated with the pine trees and the fog, saka sunflowers! But how could I enjoy if my head hurts! Kung hindi lang dahil sa hangover ko, my hangover is still at its speak. Ayoko naman na lutang na naglalakad, hindi ako mag-eenjoy. The misty smell is still under my nose, kahit papano narerelax ako.

I should have take Leon's offer to go in a boat ride! Hinding-hindi na talaga ako iinom!

"Ok, medyo inaantok na rin ako. Marami pa naman tayong oras dyan." Mabilis na napadilat ang mata ko Wait, teka.. madaming oras? What the hell does he mean? I gave him the most intimidating stare I can ever give. Don't tell me I will be with him all along? I just can't imagine, he will just annoy me, just like the old times! Ngayon pa lang nabubwisit na ako sa kanya, paano kapag nagtagal pa!

"Like I said earlier, just give me a week. Hindi mo ba narinig iyon kanina Oli?" Kumunot ang noo ko, I already remember what he said habang nasa Kenon Road kami. Seryoso talaga nga talaga siya, mukha kasi siyang nagbibiro.

"Just give me a week Oli." I mumbled, intentionally mocking him. He just chuckled at hindi man lang nainis. He does not want to give me that satisfaction, just like the old days.

"Basta libre mo, wala akong pera na dala." I said coldly.

"Ok fine, kahit ikaw ang nag-aya."

I give him an eyeroll. Whatever,Ikaw itong naniwala sa salitang lasing! Anyways, it's not that bad pala. If everything is financed by him, that would be great! I'll make his pockets suffer. My trip to Baguio will be free!

Umayos ako ng upo, still my head on the headboard of course. I am glaring at the brown high fences of Burnharm park, I am fascinated with its little pictures featuring other tours and attractions here at Baguio City. It complements the wall, hindi overpowering ang design, I do hope mapuntahan naming lahat ang mga lugar na nasa pictures.

I can help to smile, still minding my headache. The overwhelming joy I am feeling right now that I am here at Baguio. Yes I do dream to go here, because it feels so ethereal, the weather, the ambiance, it is like I can walk here all day and get lost. Everything here exceeds my expectations, it feels more like home. Kung pwede nga lang dito na lang ako.

"Do we have a place." Anas ko sa kanya, finally facing at him. His eyes still focused on the road, medyo traffic pa rin, but hindi na kasing lala kanina.

"Don't worry I already rented one."

I grinned. Nga naman, si Leon pa, he make sure everything is in track. Laging handa, daig pa ang boy scout. I remember back then, laging my back up plan, laging handa at laging kumpleto ang gamit niya, hindi siya nawawalan specially the paper, kaso nga lang kuripot, hindi nagbibigay.

"Aba prepared ka ha."

"Siyempre ako pa." He gave me that wiseass grin. As I wanted to shout at him that "Edi Wow" umiwas na lang ako ng tingin. I don't want to give him that satisfaction of having an awe.

I already took again a glimpse of Burnham Park, where I can see the biking area, crowded with happy kids biking around. They seems enjoying, even from afar I can see their smiles. Sometimes they seems to have little racing to other bikers at parang hindi man lang sila nagbubunguan doon. Then the lagoon won't escape with my sight, wondering how deep it is. I already imagine riding on that Swan lake, I want to try riding a boat, under my controls, seeing other people, seeing the whole park.

"Sigurado ka ba na ayaw mo?" He said when he noticed me staring outside. I sigh. Almost forgetting my hangover. Pero ang kulit din ha, kung hindi lang masakit ang ulo ko, ako pa mismo mag-aaya sa kanya!

"Sigurado na akong matulog Leon."

He shrugged and focused his eyes on the road. "Ok, Inaantok na rin naman ako."

Umalis na rin kami ng session road. My eyes still observing on the road. Seems like I just came out in the cave and feeling ecstatic. Angeles is bit urbanized, madami din na mapupuntahan, we have Marquee malls, lots of smalls to nearby cities, overcrowded streets, attractions. But being here in Baguio feels like everything is new, maybe because being in first times feels so different. Everyone walks in this streets, seems they are so untangled, coming from different directions

Then we stopped in a transient house. Sinalubong kami ng dalawang babae doon, one is in mid fifties, one is almost at our age, maybe her daughter or whatever. Naunang lumapit si Leon sa kanila, nagmano, so I did the same. She smiled back at me, habang yung isa mukhang napasimangot nung nakita ako. What is her problem?

"Mabuti Leon, nakadalaw ka ulit."

"Yes naman po Ninang Tess, may work lang, and may ililibot lang." Ani ni Leon. Her Ninong took a glance of me, ngumiti uli. I just smiled awkwardly, not knowing what to say. He tilted his head signaling me to go beside him. To notice, mas lalo pa sumama ang tingin niya sa akin. I am so tempted to roll my eyes, Whatever!

"Kita ko nga." Sabi nang Ninang niya, habang naniningkit pa ang mata na nanunuri.

'Ninang Tess, and her niece Liz." Aniya at itinuro pa sila. I gave them a plain smile, I was about to say my name nang mag-salita ulit si Leon.

"This is Olivia Alvarez, a friend" Agad akong napatingin sa kanya, really a friend? But what do I expect, alangan naman sabihin ni Leon, kaaway noong high school and not a girlfriend. Then, that Liz grinned, seems satisfied on my label. So what.

"Ok friend naman, akala ko girlfriend mo na." The Ninang glanced at me. "Pasensya ka na hija, ngayon lang naman nagdala ng babae si Leon, sabi ko nga kung wala pa siyang girlfriend, irereto ko na siya dito sa pamangkin ko."

Pamangkin lang pala, I don' know if she is even related to him. Can she just stop glaring me so bad, I am not doing anything. Or maybe she's jealous of me having Leon's accomplice, kung alam lang niya.

I went here to Baguio to have a good time, hindi para mabwisit.

"It's ok po, no worries."

"You can call Ninang too if you want."

My awkwardness seems too obvious, para na akong tanga na ngiti ng ngiti, para na kong hindi mapakali. Can I just proceed to sleep? Mas lalo pa sumasakit ang ulo ko doon sa Liz. Mas madana umalis na lang din siya sa harap ko.

"Ok-" I stopped. How should I say it? "Ninang." There, finally!

"May space ba kami Ninang?" Tanong ni Leon.

"Of course! Ikaw pa." Liz instantly have a lively aura, showing a sweet smile while patting Leon's shoulder many times. She seems flirting with him na, in how she gently touch his shoulders. Super close ba sila? Damn, nakakairita na.

"Salamat." Lumayo si Leon ng bahagya. Liz slightly frown pero plastic na ngumiti. Buti nga sayo.

"Ayos na ako doon sa may transient house." Dagdag pa ni Leon, at nahihiya pang ngumiti.

"You can stay in the house na lang. Tita have a spare room." Kontra nya.

"Its ok, maabala ko pa kayo, and Oli needs a company, matatakutin pa naman."

My eyes widened, I tried my best to hide my annoyance. I don't want to imprint a bad impression to them, well doon lang kay Ninang, kay Liz, wala akong pakialam, awayin ko pa. Ang what the hell he told everyone na matatakutin ako. Gusto ko na lang siya sipain papunta sa Liz na iyon, magsama sila!

Kaya sumama ang aura niya nang makita uli ako. I act as I don't notice anything. Try to consume my patience and I will pull out your eyes.

Tipid na lang ang kanyang ngiti, habang tumatango. "Ok if you say so."

Ninang Tess, gave the key to Leon, and accompany us until we reached the unit. Good thing that Liz left so si Ninang ang kasama namin. Umakyat pa kami hanggang second floor, it gives us a good spot in having a nice view of the Cordillera Mountains and the city. It is a bungalow unit at maliit lang, parang mga apartments. Ninang says it has two separate rooms, but it still annoys me living with Leon together.

"Kayo nang bahala diyan ha, huwag kayong gagawa nang milagro diyan." Tapos ngumisi pa siya kay Leon.

As if! I won't even dare touching him. Why would I let him be with me in the first place, bakit siya pa ang naduwit ko kahapon!

A click indicates that we are already alone in this unit. My eyes roam around the area, maliit lang siya at tanaw mo na lahat maliban sa mga rooms. Everything is completely set-up here, from the furnitures, may sala, chairs and tables. Then the appliances electric fan, aircon, ref saka may mga utensils pa nakaayos lahat, kumpleto. Ayos na din if you didn't manage to bring anything, dahil provided na lahat dito.

"Ganoon talaga si Liz." Leon shyly said, pinapaalam pa sa akin. I doubt hindi niya nahahalata ang mga actions ng babae.

Tinasaan ko siya ng kilay at humalukipkip. "Pakialam ko, basta ituro mo na lang sa akin ang kuwarto ko."

He gave me thumbs up and guide me towards the second door. "Here."

"Salamat."

I know he is going to say something when I shut the door, I just wanted to reach this abode and sleep. My head still in pain, magkasama nang hangover at puyat sa biyahe. Leon seems need to rest too.

...................

"Oli gising!" My eyes squinted as I approached Lori who hastily tapped my shoulders while I am taking a nap on my table. I am still sleepy, I have been deprived of sleep for days because of our finals, kailangan kong magdouble time to study.

"Nakapost na yung mga top notchers tignan mo na." My sleepy spirit suddenly awaken, kanina ko pa ito hinihintay. At last I can finally see how can I defeat that Leon. I worked so hard for this and I am so excited to show my wiseass grin against it.

"How was it?"

She shrugged. "I don't know, hindi ko pa nakikita." I groaned in dismay! Unbelievable, why does not she didn't take a peek. Oh maybe she just want me to see it for myself my victory!

"Hi Oli." Inirapan ko ang nakangiting si Leon. Even his smiles irritates me, I know there's something behind those smiles, he just wanted to annoy me just like he always did. Kahit wala pa siyang ginagawa naiinis na ako. Iniwan ko siya doon sa tabi. I need to get the results now, I am confident this time na matatalo ko siya.

My hands starts sweating as I approached the list of the topnotchers in our bulletin board. My heart races in every step I made towards the bulletin board.

1. Velasquez, Pantaleon D. --------------- 95.47

2. Alvarez, Olivia Janelle L. -------------- 95.45

Nanlumo ako sa nakita, halos manlambot na ang mga tuhod ko. This is not happening, I did all my best and that gap. I keep on blinking, still convincing myself that paper is not true.

Indeed reality really hurts, because it is real. He got the number one spot, another failure for me.

0.02?

What did I go wrong, just 0.02? Saan ako nagkulang. I study all day and night, nataasan ko siya to most of our exams and this is what I have got. Same as how Papa will say.

Later, I felt a tap on my shoulder, agad ko naman itong hinawi at sinamaan siya ng tingin. Kami na lang ang nakatayo doon sa harap ng bulletin board, everyone starts to mind their own business, seems what posted here isn't a big deal anymore. Hindi naman kasi nababago ang list ng mga topnotchers sa section namin.

"Muntik na Oli, better luck next time ulit sa next grading." Inirapan ko ang lalaki na nasa tabi ko. I am so tempted to slap both of his cheecks. Nakakapangigil talaga. Humarap ako sa kanya sabay irap. Sobrang nakakainis talaga ang pagmumukha niya. Mas lalo akong naiirita, gusto ko na lang kunin ang papel at punitin sa harapan niya.

"Oli, what happened?" Lori approached me, to my irritated expression. I know she already knew why.

"Calm down girl, first grading pa naman, we have other 3 gradings. Saka nakuha mo din naman yung position of editor-in-chief sa school paper natin."

"He is the student government president. That is not enough Lori! I need to be on top of this class, para may reason na para umattend si Papa sa graduation ko." Inis kong sabi.

Lori gave me a pat on my shoulder, I hope her sympathy works, but that isn't. I don't need it. What I should do is to put everything in action. I need to be on top

"Alam mo, hindi mo naman kailangan ipressure ang sarili mo, just do your best. Kung tutuusin you already did enough." She advised, lagi na lang niya ito sinasabi sa akin everytime I rant about this. I hope that my own family think that way, or kahit ako, hindi ko alam if what I did is enough, if I am enough.

I sighed. "I hope my Papa see that way. Alam mo naman ang gusto nila, so I need to push harder Lori."

She gave me a sympathetic smile. "Ok, just always remember, nandito ako para sayo at hindi magsasawa na ipaalala sayo na huwag magpakapressure."

"Fine." I smiled bitterly

Half day lang kami, dahil release ng cards namin mamayang hapon, mabuti si Tita Maris ang kumuha ng card ko. Lagi naman siya ang kumukuha, my parents are so busy with their businesses. This has a bright side too, because I can't bear to see my Father's disappointing glares at me.

Sinalubong ko kaagad si Tita Maris, she wears a long off shoulder dress and her Gucci bag, which makes her younger than her age, plus her face doesn't have any wrinkles, makinis pa din. I told tita to just simply dress, kuhanan lang naman ng card.

"As usual, alam ko naman na mataas ang grades mo, ewan ko ba kasi kila Gerard at ako lagi ang pinapakuha ng card mo. Sumabay na naman yang Ate Luisa mo." I frowned when I heard my sister's name. Ano pa ba ang aasahan ko, siyempre uunahin nila si ate rather than me. Anyways ok na din at si Tita ang kukuha ng card ko, sanay na rin naman ako.

Sinamahan ko si Tita nang tawagin na kami. Teachers tend to talk to the parents every card release para alam nila kung ano yung mga progress or lacks naming mga students.

"Congrats po, Olivia is consistently doing a good job in class." My teacher says as she handled the card to us, na agad naman kinuha ni Tita.

"Alam ko naman po iyon. Oli always do her best in everything at sobrang proud ko sa kanya."

I sighed, Mabuti pa si Tita, she appreciated everything, kahit top 2 lang ako. Sana all na lang.

"Yes, and actually she must continue that, I can see a bright future for you hija."

I plainly smiled. "Thank you po Ma'am Santos."

She nodded as she approached Tita again. "Mas humihigpit ang competition nila between Mr. Velasquez, both of them are really great achievers in our schools" Tapos bumaling siya sa akin. "I want to remind you that don't take that competition personally Olivia, because you too are both good students, dapat friendly competition lang.

"Noted po Ma'am." Sabi ko, and trying myself to stop having a twitch. Bakit narinig ko na naman ang pangalan ng Leon na yun!

Lumabas na kami ni Tita sa room, una kong nakita si Leon, mag-isa. Wala pa siguro yung parent niya. I was about to leave when Tita approached her.

"Hijo, congrats ha. Ang galing galing mo, actually parehas kayo ng pamangkin ko. Keep up the good work hijo."

Matamis na ngumiti si Leon, nag-alangan pa siya nung una dahil nandoon ako sa tabi ni Tita. "Thank you po." He humbly says.

"Hijo minsan punta ka sa bahay, sabayan mo mag-study si Oli ko, nahihirapan kasi ng konti sa math."

Sobrang papipigil kong samahaan ng tingin si Tita, inilaglag niya ako kay Leon. And of all the things bakit siya aayain sa bahay ni Tita. Gusto niya ba kami makitang mag-away. Tita knew na mainit ang dugo ko sa kanya. I tell her everything. Tita keeps on telling me na hindi dapat ako naiinis kay Leon, I should be friends with him, with no reason.

"Depende po kay Oli Ma'am kung ok lang sa kanya."

I clenched my fist sa sobrang pagpipigil. Don't you dare Tita invite him. Mas nainis ako, when Tita pat my head. She is much more taller than I am, lalo pa at nakaheels pa siya.

"Walang problem yan kay Oli, just ask her."

Napasimangot ako, I don't care if it too obvious na ayoko. Alam naman ni Tita ang pagkamuhi ko sa kanya, at para makiramdam si Leon. Papayag pa yan sa alok ni Tita e.

"Mukhang ayaw po ata niya Ma'am." Sumbong niya, kaya mabilis siyang humarap sa akin at instantly transformed from my irritatated face, to happy face. Tita gave me that we-will-talk-later stare. Alam naman niya na sinisimangutan ko si Leon. Damn, alam kong tuwang-tuwa na naman ang tukmol.

Tita smiled sweetly towards Leon. "Ok lang yank ay Oli, alam mo naman yang pamangkin ko, laging galit sa mundo.

"Hindi naman po Ma'am, mabait din naman siya kaunti."

Mas sinamaan ko siya ng tingin, I hope I have this telepathic effect na bigla na lang siya patalsikin. Mabait kaunti ha.

"Ano ka ba, huwag na Ma'am itawag mo sa akin, Tita na lang."

Magiliw na ngumiti si Leon. "Noted po Tita." Sumaludo pa ito, ngising ngisi pa ang loko. Talaga naman papalipitin ko na ang bibig nito.

"Sige una na kami Leon ha, basta bisita ka sa bahay minsan."

Nauna na akong umalis, kahit si Tita nalilibang pang kausap ang Leon na iyon. Yung totoo, si Leon yata ang pamangkin niya dito. Maya-maya pa nahabol ako ni Tita sa may hallway at kasabay ko na siyang naglalakad.

"Hija, bakit naman kasi ang init init ng dugo mo doon kay Leon. Mukha naman siyang mabait na bata."

I frowned. Akala mo lang iyon Tita. Bwisit siya! Bwisit!

"How could I, he is my biggest enemy in acads, madalas pa niya akong asarin. Bakit ganun, para namang hindi siya nag-aaral ang yet and I can't beat him."

Natatawa si Tita sa sagot ko. What? Because of him I can't be the best! Siya ang harang sa gusto ko. Lagi niya akong inuungusan.

"Remember what your teacher says Oli, dapat friendly competition lang. Iniisip mo pa kasi yang Papa mo. Basta Oli gawin mo ang best mo, and you are already doing well." Tita gave me a pat.

I hope that is enough for them. I will be never be enough. Kaya nga madalas mas gusto ko pa kasama si Tita, atleast I feel appreciated, hindi ako outcast, hindi ako kinukumpara at ramdam ko na pareho niya kaming mahal ni Kuya Allen.

"Alam mo Oli, kaunti na lang iisipin ko na may gusto ka kay Leon. Alam mo matalino naman siya mabait, tapos siguro kung kikinis siyang kaunti."

Naisiwa ako sa sinabi ni Tita. Kadiri! Bakit ko naman siya magugustuhan. Mamumuhi pwede pa.

"Natahimik ka na, siguro may gusto ka nga kay Leon no?"

"Tita kilabutan ka!" Kontra ko. Medyo napataas ang boses ko, kaya napatingin sa akin yung mga parents. Napayuko ako sa hiya at mabilis na naglakad, naiwan na naman si Tita. Mabuti na rin at nandoon na ang kotse ni Kuya Allen, kaya dali dali akong sumakay sa loob.

"Nasaan si Tita?" Tanong ni Kuya. Itinuro ko ang papalapit na si Tita Maris sa amin.

"Hay, niloloko ka na naman kay Leon no? Ano top 2 ka uli."

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin at ibig nang bigwasan.

"Yun, top 2 uli." Aniya at nagfocus sa may daan. Maya-maya pa at pumasok na din si Tita Maris sa loob.

"Hayaan mo na Oli, atleast sureball na honor ka. Saka sanay na kami na kami ulit ni Tita ang umaattend sa recognition mo."

Gamit ang aking bag, hinampas ko siya ng malakas! Gaya ni Leon, alam na alam din ni Kuya Allen kung paano ako inisin.

"Hay nako Allen, iniinis mo na naman si Oli, this time sila Papa mo na aattend, akong bahala." Tumango na lang ako kay Tita. Kuya Allen is right, lagi sila ang umaattend, and everytime lagi niyang sinasabi na pipilitin si Papa para gumaan ang loob ko. I already accepted that, but sana since gagraduate din ako, I wish na sana umattend din sila kahit papaano, that is why I really work hard to be a Valedictorian.

"Masakit yun Oli ha, may gift pa naman ako sayo."

Hindi ko mapigilan na ngumiti. Medyo bully si Kuya Allen, but he likes to give presents to me. He never fails to give the things I really like.

"Bigay mo na." I pouted.

"Sinaktan mo ko Oli, akin na lang to."

Mabilis kong inagaw yung box sa kanya at inilagay iyon sa lap ko. "Thanks Kuya Allen." And I gave my sweetest smile to him.

"Oli, siyempre we should celebrate, kaya nga nagpasundo ako diyan kay Kuya Allen mo no.Saan mo gusto kumain?"

"Please Tita, sa may Cabalen." Mabilis na suggestion ni Kuya. Umiling lang ako, alam kong hindi siya masusunod this time.

"Alam mo naman kung saan ko gusto Tita." I made an wiseass grin. I got you!

"Minsan magrequest ka naman kay Tita ng medyo mahal, kahit sa Jollibee ganun."

Umiling ako, Ayoko ngang kumain doon. Sa  mga turo-turo lang ako I still prefer these little kainan, dahil mas feel kong lutong bahay ang mga iyon. Masarap din at mura pa.

Hanggang sa humito kami sa favorite kong turo-turo. Dapat doon sa may Food Street kaso sarado pa at mamaya pang gabi iyon.

I ordered my favorite inihaw, and some isaw, tapos adobo, while Kuya Allen chose a fried chicken habang si Tita Maris ay Mongo.

"Kaya gusto kong nililibre tong si Oli, Kahit sa turo-turo lang, happy na."

I gave Tita a thumbs up, habang si Kuya Allen, dedma lang ang busy sa pagkain niya ng manok.

Naabutan namin sila Papa sa bahay nang ibaba ako ni Tita. Sinamahan niya pa ako hanggang sa loob para siya na ang magbigay sa card ko. Tita and I know what will happen kapag nalaman ni Papa na top 2 lang ako. Pero everytime na papalapit ako sa dining area kung nasaan sila, mas lalo akong kinakabahan. I never got immune of this feeling, kahit ilang beses na itong nangyayari, para bang hindi pa rin ako sanay. Pakiramdam ko para akong may failing grade na ipapakita kung kabahan.

"Tita ikaw na lang pumunta kila Papa."

"Hija naman, bakit ka ba natatakot? Matataas naman ang mga grades mo."

I frowned, sinadya kong magpabigat para hindi mahila ni Tita. Para namang hindi niya alam ang nangyayari everytime na top 2 lang ako.

"Pero tita."

She gave me an assuring smile and a pat on my shoulder, just like she always do to make me calm "Ok na bahala sa Papa mo, saka taas ng grades mo,panay line of 9 alangan hindi pa matuwa yun."

I plainly smile, alam ko namang walang magagawa si tita to convince Papa to sign my card kapag nalaman niya. Maya-maya nasa harapan na nila kami, may kaunti silang salo-salo may spaghetti at chicken na favorite ni Ate. Mukhang masaya si Papa, I think Ate got a highest grade from her batch. I shrugged.

Nang mapansin kami ni Papa, mapanuri niya kaming tinignan. Waiting for us to speak.

"Ayan na yung card ni Oli, as usual mataas ang mga grades." Inabot ni Tita ang card ko kay Papa. Para na akong aatakihin sa kaba nang mahawakan niya ang card ko.

"What top is she?" He said, ni hindi man lang ito tinignan at inilapag lang ito sa lamesa na lagi niyang ginagawa. Hindi man lang interesado sa laman nito.

Tumingin sa akin si Tita, She gave me her assuring smile. Mas gusto ko pang huwag na lang magsalita si Tita.

"Top 2. Ayos diba?"

"Number 1" Matigas na sabi ni Papa. Napatingin si Mama sa akin, her eyes are full of sympathy. Hindi rin naman niya ako maipagtatanggol at wala siyang say kay Papa. Wala din naman siyang magagawa, ni hindi man lang magsalita. Mabuti pa si Tita kahit papaano ilalaban ako.

"Second best Olivia, is that what you have got. So disappointing, hindi ka na umangat diyan, nag-aaral ka ba o ano. Bakit hindi ka tumulad sa ate mo, laging top 1, consistent first honor, tapos ikaw." Kinuha niya muli ang card ko at padabog na hinampas sa lamesa.

Nalumo ako, every sleepless night is not enough, all my extra efforts to study is not enough. Hinding hindi nila makikita iyon. Bakit nga ba kasi ako umaasa na matutuwa pa sila.

Oli, you should not cry, huwag ka nang iiyak. Huwag ka nang masasaktan pag ganyan. Sabi nila huwag ko na lang isipin ang sinasabi ni Papa.

The worst part is, kahit hindi ko pansinin, paulit ulit na rumerehistro sa isip ko ang masasakit na sinasabi ni Papa, on how he's disappointed with me, despite of my achievements. Kasi nagbabakasakali pa din ako na one day, sisilipin nila ang card ko, they will be telling me that I did I good job, they will be appreciating me more than what Tita Maris can do. Kaya I work hard to be in top 1, para at once silipin naman nila ang card ko, para matuwa sila sa akin, para naman sila naman ang kukuha ng card ko at aattend sa recognition ko.

"Huwag ka naman ganyan sa anak mo, alam mo naman sa matindi ang competition sa pilot section, madaming magagaling at isa si Oli sa nangibabaw sa kanila."

"Hindi ko pipirmahan yang card na iyan. Oli, when you did not graduated as valedictorian walang aattend ng graduation mo, naiintindihan mo ba?" Ni hindi man lang niya nilungon si Tita at masama ang tingin sa akin.

"Yes pa."

Umiling lang si Papa, thinking that my word is a lame promise, na hindi mangyayari, until proven.

"You wont be joining us to dinner Oli, pumunta ka sa kwarto mo and start studying!"

Dinampot ni tita yung card ko at inilagay sa bag ko. Sinamahan ako ni Tita palabas ng dining room naming. Maya-maya pa inabot na sa akin ni Tita ang card, as usual pirmado na niya. "As usual ako na naman." She smiled, kahit papaano nakampante ako sa ngiti niya. I can't imagine without Tita Maris in my life, baka hindi ko kayanin.

"Hayaan mo sa si Papa mo, huwag mo na lang pansinin, pinaglihi talaga yan sa sama ng loob. Basta galingan mo lagi ha, proud si tita sayo." Masigla niyang sabi, pero nawala din ang ngiti niya nang makita pa rin niya akong malungkot. I know Tita always try my best to convince Papa na huwag akong pahirapan, and I do appreciate that, kasi alam kong may kakampi ako.

Niyakap ko si Tita at doon na bumuhos ang mga luha ko. I am really tired of this, mas gusto ko na lang tumira kay Tita, doon na lang ako. Atleast there I feel much safer, lalo nang niyakap niya ako, instant na gumaan ang loob ko.

"That's ok hija.

.............................

I squinted my eyes when sun rays across the curtains. Nag-aadjust pa yung mata ko sa pagkasilaw. Mabuti na lang at hindi na ganoon kasakit ang ulo ko.

Kinapa ko yung purse ko sa may table. Gulat ko na lang nang binuksan ko ito, wala yung phone ko. I doubt Leon will hide it, he's not into bad jokes. Baka naiwan ko pa sa club, magtatanong pa ako ngayon kay Kuya Allen if he has an old phone.

Nakatayo sa tapat ng pintuan si Leon nang buksan niya ito, mukhang kakatukin yata ang pinto.

"Ayun Oli, sa wakas nagising ka na din." Masigla niyang sabi.

"Did you see anything?"

Kumunot ang noo niya. "See what?"

"My phone Leon."

Umiling lang siya, maya maya pa inabot niya sa akin ang phone niya. Ayun, naiwan nga doon sa club ang phone ko.

"Pwede ka naman makitawag sa akin if you want."

I nod. "That's great." Lumayo ako sa kanya ng kaunti habang dina-dial ang number ni Tita Maris, but it is unattended, so I tried Kuya Allen, mabuti at sumagot.

"Kuya."

"Thank God, you called Oli, alam mo bang kanina ka pa naming hinahanap ni Papa mo." He instantly recognized my voice, but what astonished me is that they are with Papa. Is Papa initiated to find me? Does he really care?

"Oli, nasaan ka ba? Bakit kasi bigla kang umaalis. Halos atakihin na ang Papa mo sa pag-aalala." Still in awe that Papa with them, pero medyo nanatakot ako, once I come back baka magalit lang siya.

"Galit ba siya."

"Sa tingin ko hindi naman, he just worried."

I did not speak a word, still thinking. Pakiramdam ko baligtad ang sinasabi nila sa tunay na reaksyon ni Papa.

"Natatakot ka ba Oli? Don't worry this time we will make him understand. Hindi na to biro."

I smiled bitterly. "Ok lang Kuya what will I expect, bahala na. I am in Baguio by the way with a friend."

"Good thing you are fine, sana kasi napaalam ka para alam namin."

"Sorry Kuya, it seems I lost my phone and biglaan kasi."

Mabuti at hindi na nagtanong si Kuya sa akin. I don't want to tell him, I went to club and got wasted, he will be furious for sure. Kahit pa si Leon pa ang kasama ako.

"Ayos na?" Aniya nang isinauli ko na yung phone niya.

"Yep, salamat."

"Wala yun, nga pala tinatawag na tayo ni Ninang kakain na tayo."

Sakto nun, agad kong naramdaman na kumalan ang tiyan ko, I think I did not eat much in the bar, panay alak lang. I instantly think of Liz, baka mawalan ako ng gana.

Kasama si Leon, pumunta kami sa bahay nila. The food is already served, crispy liempo and black beans na may sabaw. Hindi ko alam ang tawag. Iginiya ako ni Leon na maupo, while Ninang serving the food. Mabuti at wala yung Liz, may pinuntahan daw.

"Maayos ba ang pahinga niyo hija?"

"Yes po Ninang, your accommodation is cozy so, ok na ok po siya sa akin."

Ninang smiled. "I know right, kaya nga lagi din kaming puno dito, hindi mo pa nakikita pag peak season dito sa Baguio, mas traffic pa sa akala mo."

Yeah, iyon nga ang downside ng Baguio, yung traffic, and tagal din naming nahinto ni Leon kanina.

"Sige na, kain na kayo."

Ninang already ate, kaya kami na lang ni Leon ang natira sa hapag. I am curious with this black beans, kaya agad kong sumandok nito at tinikman.

I never thought that this blackbeans taste so good! Baka maubos ko to lahat, lalo at gutom ako. Tapos wala pa nito sa Pampanga, maybe pageexperimentuhan namin to ni Tita.

"That is their especialty here, yang black beans."

No wonder why this food is so good. Talagang pag-aaralan ko to pag nakauwi kami sa Pampanga.

"Can we have refills."

Leon grins. "Matakaw talaga kahit kailan." He sofly says, pero enough para marinig ko. Tumayo siya at pumunta doon sa may kitchen.

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. Huwag naman niya ipahalata na malakas ako kumain. Maya-maya pa may bitbit na dalawang mangkok si Leon, isang maliit at isang malaki. Itinapat pa niya sa akin yung isang malaking mangkok.

"Madami na'to Leon."

"Kulang pa sa'yo yan." He winked, then umupo na sa upuan niya at kumain.

I will not deny. He still knows me so well, sa sarap nito baka kulang pa sa akin ang isang mangkok. I am just a type who eats a lot, but never gets fat.

Then I took a slice of this crispy liempo, and it kind of melt in my mouth, as the sourness of the soup complements it. I hope they forgive me if I consume a pot of rice because of this.

I ate the last black beans. Sa totoo lang gusto ko pa talaga pero nakakahiya din naman at nakikikain lang kaming dalawa dito. So, I did not ask for any black beans. Sana magluto pa ulit sila.

Pagkatapos kumain, tumayo na si Leon at nag-ayos ng pinagkainan, I started to clean up too, para wala naman din masabi si Leon.

"Oli ako na."

"No, I help too, tayong dalawa ang kumain dito." I insist, and not giving my plates.

"Ok lang Oli, ako na bahala dito. Just wait or enjoy the view outside."

Umiling ako. "Tutulong ako sayo Leon."

Tumapat siya sa akin at hinawakan ang plato ko, imbis na plato ang mahawakan niya, pati kamay ko. His hands covers with mine, agad akong nag-angat ng tingin para bantaan siya na bitawan ako.

"Sabi ko ako na, huwag na makulit Oli."

As I look in his eyes, staring at me intensely, his stares penetrates my insides, making me so conscious. Hindi ko mapigilan na mailang kaya umiwas ako ng tingin.

"Ok ibibigay ko ang plato, pero pwede ialis mo muna yung kamay mo." I said without looking at him, saka ako tumalikod at lumabas.

I walk outside the compound, may mga ibang mga tenants din sa ibang units, halos lahat nakatingin sa akin. Siguro dahil sa suot ko, everyone are on their jackets and pants, while ako naka-shorts pa, despite of the cold temperature. Aba pakialam nila! I am not in the mood to mind them, nandito ako sa Baguio so I should enjoy. Kahit wala pa ako sa attractions dito, feel na feel ko na nandito ako sa Baguio dahil sa lamig nito, lalo pa at naka t-shirt at shorts lang ako na suot ko pa kagabi. Kailangan ko nang bumili ng mga damit bago pa ako manlagkit.

My eyes still roaming around, some houses here are so vintage, parang akong nasa American times, kagaya din ng bahay ni Tita. Yung medyo modern ang design dito is yung mga transient units.

Hay Oli, Vintage nga ang bahay ng Tita Maris mo, parang hindi ka naman sanay.

Gusto ko pang maglakad lakad sa mga streets, yung bahala na kung saan ka mapadpad. Gusto ko din magstay din doon sa taas dahil maganda ang view doon.

Maybe I should take a walk then. Pero nang tumayo ako, nandoon na kaagad si Leon.

"Tara na!" I blinked. Ang bilis naman niya.

"Where should we go?"

I made a wise ass grin. "Ibibili ka na ng damit, ayoko naman na manigas ka dito sa Baguio."

Aba ayos, hindi pa ako nagsasabi sa kanya, alam na niya ang kailangan ko.

"Leon, papalitan ko na lang ang magagastos ko."

Umiling lang si Leon. "Hindi na kailangan, sabi ko diba sagot ko ito."

"It is my personal stuff Leon." I insisted. Marunong din naman ako mahiya. Bakit naman kasi biglaan nya akong dinala dito sa Baguio, hindi man lang ako nagdala ng damit ko, o kaya sana kahit papaano nakapaghanda ako.

Anyways if I am still conscious that time, at nakilala ko siya, malamang hindi ako sasama sa kanya.

"Sabi sayo Oli, huwag makulit."

I rolled my eyes. Ok whatever! Kailan pa siya naging ganito ka-authoritative sa akin. Sa iba yes. Ganyanan pala ha. Ok then, prepare all your wallets.

Sabay kaming naglakad papunta sa kotse niya, pero teka bat kami lumagpas.

"Hindi ba tayo gagamit ng sasakyan?" Nagtataka kong tanong

"Everything in Baguio is walkable Oli, saka matatraffic lang tayo."

Well he got a point, saka gusto ko rin naman maglakad lakad dito.

While walking we approached a couple sitting in the shed holding their hands together, masaya, chill lang habang nagkukwentuhan. I suddenly remember my ex, we will find our spot and tell our stories, ang pinagkaiba lang ako yung madalas na madrama, and he tend to listen to me. Now I don't know if he really listens those times, pero kahit na hindi totoo ang mga iyon at least I felt na may karamay ako. We used to be like that before sweet, lalo noong bago pa kami. As the time flies, medyo lumalayo na siya, madalang na kami mag-usap, minsan nag-aaway pa.

"Oli, kasama pa kita?" There is Leon, hastily, waving his hands infront of me.

"I'm still here duh." Umirap ako. Tumingin siya sa direksyon kung saan ako napatingin kanina. Agad siyang napangisi, don't you dare tell it Leon. Masasapak pa kita.

"Naalala mo ex mo no?"

Oh crap! Talaga naman.

He hold my both hands and sincerely staring at me. I don't know what urge did I have to stare at him with same intensity, gluing our eyes to each other. Noticing is brown eyes, that reflects my face and curly long lashes, makes me more wonder to his eyes.

"Huwag kang mag-alala, pagkatapos nito, hindi mo na siya iisipin pa."