It's close to midnight before I pull up to the house. I've spent the last six hours sitting in the parking lot of the diner, trying to figure out what to do. Not a single light is on, which means everyone is either asleep or gone. I park and make my way up the front steps. As I reach for the door handle, I hesitate. What am I going to find inside?

I take a deep breath and slowly open the door, the hinges creaking slightly.

The house is dark and quiet, and I let out a sigh of relief. It doesn't sound like anyone is awake.

I tiptoe through the house, not wanting to wake anyone.

I open the door to my room and slip inside. I had expected Ares to be in here and I'm only a little disappointed that he isn't. After plugging up my phone, which died hours ago, I go to the bathroom for a quick shower. My reflection in the mirror is a mess. My eyes are red and swollen from crying, and my hair is a tangled mess. I look like shit, and I feel even worse.

I shower quickly. I'm so tired I could pass out right here. I wrap a towel around myself and walk back into my room. I throw on the first clothes I find.

I need to go to sleep, but I also want to check on Ares. I know that we've been caught. I know that we shouldn't continue with what we've been doing. I knew it wouldn't last from the start. But I also want to make sure he is okay. I want to know that we're okay.

I sneak across the hall and up the stairs, listening for any sounds. I knock lightly, but there is no answer. Maybe he is asleep. I try the handle and find it unlocked. I ease the door open and peek inside.

The room is dark, and the bed is empty.

He's gone. Like, completely gone. His bed is made, and all of his personal items are gone.

My heart sinks.

Maybe this is for the best. Maybe this is what we both need.

But the pain is overwhelming. I feel like I'm going to be sick.

I walk back down the hall and into my room, shutting the door behind me.

I lie down on the bed and pull the covers over my head.

I can't stop the tears from falling.

***

Ares has been calling and texting me basically nonstopped, but I haven't answered or replied. I don't have the capacity to deal with any of this right now. I left hours before I needed to this morning just to avoid my mother and Archer.

I'm not sure how this happened. I'm not sure what to do. I'm not sure about anything anymore. How did everything get so fucked up? I knew we were pushing it, letting things continue after my mom and Archer got back from their honeymoon. We should have cut it off then. I should have known better. I did know better, but I let myself get caught up in the fantasy. And now it's all ruined.

I can't stop thinking about the way my mom and Archer reacted. The anger, the disgust, the disappointment. It's almost too much. I wish I could disappear. I wish I could erase yesterday and pretend it never happened.

"You skipping lunch today?" Shane's voice pulls me out of my spiraling thoughts.

"Huh? Oh, no. I just...I'm not feeling very well," I lie.

Shane looks at me for a moment, then sits down beside me. "You don't seem like yourself, Emma."

I offer a weak smile. "Yeah, sorry. Just had a rough start to the week. I'll be okay."

He shifts slightly, his leg brushing against mine. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shrug. "Not really."

He nods, seeming to understand. His hand reaches out to rest on my shoulder. "If you change your mind, I'm here."

"Thanks," I murmur, a small smile playing on my lips.

Shane stands to leave, but before walking off he says, "If you're up for it, some of us are going out after work Friday. I know you're only here half a day that day, but you're welcomed to join us."

I hesitate, then nod. "Okay. Yeah, that sounds good."

Shane grins. "Great. I'll text you the details."

With that, he leaves, and I'm left alone with my thoughts again.

I'm finishing up with my work for the day when my phone rings again. It had been so quiet for the past few hours, I had almost forgotten about it. I check the screen, it's Ares again. He's been the only one reaching out to me. It's been radio silence from my mom and Archer.

I think about letting it go to voicemail again, but decide to answer it. I owe him at least that much. This isn't his fault. I'm angry, yes, but at myself. Not him. We were both being reckless and he doesn't deserve being ghosted.

"Hello?"

"Oh, thank God. Babygirl, where are you? Are you okay?"

I take a deep breath. "Yes, I'm fine. I've been at my internship."

"Good. I've been worried about you. I've called a millio-."

"I know. You've called and texted a million times. I'm sorry I didn't answer. I just needed some space. Needed some time to think."

There's a pause before he answers. "I'm getting on a plane tomorrow morning. Can I please see you today? We can go wherever you want. Just...please, babygirl."

His voice is filled with concern and desperation. It breaks my heart.

"I..." I'm not sure how to answer. "Where are you staying?"

"At a hotel near the airport. Please, I can't leave tomorrow morning without at least seeing you one more time. We can't leave things like this. We need to talk, babygirl. Please."

I can hear the pleading in his voice, and I know he's right. We can't leave things the way they are. But is it really a good idea to see him again? Will that just make things worse?

"I'm not sure it's a good idea," I tell him, chewing my bottom lip.

"Please, Emma," he urges, his voice laced with desperation. "Just give me an hour of your time. I can't leave without seeing you. Without talking to you. You can't just shut me out."

My heart aches at his words. He's right. I can't just shut him out. We have to talk. We have to try to fix this.

"Okay," I finally agree. "I'll come to you. Where are you staying?"

"I'll text you the address."

"Okay," I say softly.

"And Emma," he adds. "Thank you. I'll see you soon, babygirl."

"See you soon," I murmur, hanging up the phone.

***

I park in front of the hotel and take a deep breath. This is not a good idea. Seeing him is just going to make things harder. But we have to talk. I can't leave things the way they are.

I climb out of the car and make my way into the hotel. The lobby is crowded, and I have to push through the throng of people to get to the elevators. Ares meets me at the elevator.

"Emma, I'm so glad you're here," he says, pulling me into a tight hug.

I cling to him, savoring his warmth. I have missed him. Even though I've tried not to.

"I'm sorry I didn't answer any of your calls," I say softly.

"It's okay," he murmurs, stroking my hair. "I understand. It was a lot to take in."

"I'm still sorry," I say, my voice muffled against his chest.

He pulls back, his hands cupping my face. "It's okay, babygirl. You're here now. That's what matters."

I can't help but lean into his touch. It feels so good to be in his arms.

"Come on," he says, taking my hand. "Let's go up to the room."

He leads me to the elevator and we ride up in silence. His hand never leaves mine.

When we get to his room, he opens the door and motions for me to go inside. The room is large and luxurious. I wouldn't expect anything less from Ares.

"Have a seat," he says, gesturing to the couch.

I sit down, my nerves starting to kick in. I'm not sure what to say, or where to even begin.

Ares sits down next to me, his hand resting on my thigh.

"I've missed you, babygirl," he says, his voice low and rumbly.

I've missed him too, more than I'm willing to admit.

"I've missed you too," I confess, my heart fluttering at the admission.

He pulls me close, his arms wrapping around me. I breathe him in, the familiar scent of him making me feel safe.

"What happened yesterday, it shouldn't have gone down like that," he murmurs, his breath warm on my ear.

"I know," I say softly. "But we knew it was a possibility. We knew it could happen. And honestly, it was stupid to keep it going once they were back from their honeymoon."

"But do you regret it. Do you regret us? Me? Do you regret the time we had together?"

I shake my head. "No. I could never regret that. You're...you're amazing, Ares. You are the best thing thats happened to me in... well, a long time."

He lets out a sigh of relief. "Me too. You're...God, Emma, you're everything. I don't know what I was doing in life before you. I've never felt like this with someone, ever."

I bury my face in his chest, his arms wrapping around me.

"We'll figure this out," he whispers, his lips pressed to my temple.

"Ares," I whisper, tears threatening to fall. "There is no figuring this out."

He pulls back, like I just hit him.

"We talked about this already," I continue, my words stronger than I feel. "We knew this was going to end. Either by you leaving or someone finding out. It just happened to be both at the same time, I suppose." My voice goes weak, my words losing their momentum.

"So that's it?" he asks, his tone harsh, but I can tell it's just the hurt in his words. "We're over, just like that?"

"Ares," I say, trying not to let the tears fall. "What do you want from me? We knew this wasn't forever."

"Fuck forever," he spits, his jaw clenched. "This doesn't have to be over. Please."

I shake my head, swallowing past the lump in my throat. "Yes, it does. We knew this was going to end. There was never any other option. What did you think was going to happen?"

He runs a hand through his hair, his frustration evident.

"I don't know," he admits, his voice strained. "I thought we could figure it out. I hoped we would."

"Figure it out?" I repeat his words. "Forgetting about my mom and Archer and just focusing on the other facts, how were we possibly going to figure it out? You're leaving. You live across the country from me. And I already said I couldn't do long distance. There is nothing to figure out."

"So, that's it?" he asks, his eyes flashing with a sadness so deep.

"Yes," I say, my voice firm, although inside I'm dying. "And no. We still have tonight. I'm yours until the morning, if you want."