"I love you Barry"
"I love you too iris"

"Good god"
I feel like I'm going to puke.
I so don't ship them.
Don't get me wrong, this isn't any racism but the actors just don't have any chemistry and also I feel like I should be playing iris, because Barry Allen is just so damn handsome!

Someone shakes my shoulder rather rudely and I look up to see a disheveled Rose glaring at me and I give out a little chuckle.
She is still wearing the same dress she wore to the party last night, her hair is completely messed up and she's messing up her mascara more by rubbing her eyes.
I take off my headphones
"What?" I ask

"Are you deaf?" She says,scratching her head

"Apparently not" I smile, still amused by how she's looking

"Hey, I'm the one who should have the attitude here because your dear boyfriend is ruining my sleep by shouting your name from downstairs so please put down Barry's messed up love life and go handle yours" and with this she walks out of the room, leaving me laughing.

I put my hair up in a ponytail and go downstairs to find Mason sitting in a pool of junk food all of which make my mouth water and my stomach grumble but all of which I can't eat.

There is popcorn, sour worms, salt and vinegar chips, sour cream and onion chips and cookies. There is also some movies.

"Hey you're fast" he says sarcastically.

He is wearing his usual, jeans and a tee shirt and looking usually and catastrophically handsome
Moving on....

"What can I say I'm the flash?" I shrug, clearly referencing to our last movie encounter

"I love those series" we both say at the same time.

"Jinx!" I shout
"Double jinx!" He shouts too
"Triple jinx!"
This time he doesn't say quadruple jinx.
"No quadruple jinx? Do you not want to win?" I ask him.

"I have a feeling I already am winning" He smiles at me and shrugs

I don't know what is up with me today but I feel so good.
Last night made me feel like there might just be hope for me.
Might being the key word here.

"Snowbarry or westallen?" I ask

"Do you really think I ship someone on that show?" He asks, faking a very deep voice .

Who is he trying to fool here?
I know this guy as much as I know myself, that is, of course, if I know myself.

"Yes" I smile triumphantly and he sighs before answering

"None I actually ship Patty and Barry and I don't know their ship name" he tells me.
Yeah I'll believe that!

"So I thought that we should watch a movie together since we don't have many plans for today" his eyes twinkle in excitement

"Yeah sure" I smile and plop on the couch

"Which one do you wanna watch?" He says while showing me different DVDs.
I put a popcorn in my mouth and nod enthusiastically when he holds up '10 things I hate about you'

"Really?" His face scrunches up

"Why did you put it in the pile of you didn't wanna watch it?" I say in a firm tone, suddenly sounding very defensive over Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles 

"Okay okay geez woman" he says and I chuckle.
We put it on and open a packet of sour cream and onion chips.

We pause the movie halfway when we realize that this junk food isn't enough.

"We should get something else too" I offer
We ransack the kitchen and come across some leftover lasagna from I don't know when.
We heat it and take our plates to the living room and watch the rest of the movie while the thought of getting fat lingers at the back of my mind.

When the movie finally ends I look towards Mason.
"Don't tell me you didn't enjoy that" I raise an eyebrow.

"I actually did" he says halfway through a yawn

"So since you won the jinx thing I think I'm obliged to take you to eat something" I nod wordlessly.

I can't deny him because I can't see him with that sad expression but then again I don't wanna get fat. I'll figure something out.
Gaining a little fat is better than watching Mason sad over something about me.

We get in the car and by instinct he turns the radio on.
"I think I'm gonna throw it back to a classic. I'm going to say no more and just let you enjoy"
The lady speaks and a familiar tune fills my ears.
I smile to myself.
Quite reflexively, I start humming with the song.
Butterflies swarm my stomach at the happiness and bliss of this pure moment where I can drift off to being actually happy. It feels like my good childhood memories are dancing in front of me.

"Somewhere over the rainbow, blue birds fly" I sing

"And the dreams that you dream of, dreams really do come true" He completes the verse

---------------------------------

Instead of going to the ice cream parlor we go to the coffee shop I work in.

"This is where I work" I tell Mason

"Cool" he says as we enter.
The strong smell of coffee greets us with open arms and we walk into its embrace

"Amelia dear how are you?" Marge comes around the counter and wipes her hands with a towel.

"I'm great Marge and how are you?" I say and kiss her cheek while Mason stands beside me  awkwardly with his hands stuffed inside his pockets

"Oh Marge this is Mason. You know him" I say and Marge smiles widely at him.

"Oh Mason honey Amelia has told me a lot about you" she says while shaking Mason's hand.
"What brings you here?"

"We are actually here because I owe her" Mason says and Marge smiles astonishingly at me because I rarely eat outside, let alone eat cupcakes and brownies.

"Well perfect then go give your order to Steve over there" she says and walks off.

"I'll make it myself" I shout behind her and she just waves her hand.

I walk behind the counter and Mason still awkwardly stands outside.

"Well don't just keep standing there, come on in" I motion for him to come and he walks inside

I make our coffee and he just looks at what I'm doing, fascinated.

"What's so fascinating, Rogers?" I inquire

"Nothing. Can I make one coffee? I've never made it on such a fancy coffee machine" he pleads

"No" I shake my head

"Then let me take pipe the frosting on that one" he points to the cupcake I'm piping the frosting on

"Why?"

"I've always wanted to work in a coffee shop. They look cool" he gives me his best puppy dog eyes and I look away
"Oh come on. Please, pretty please" he asks again and I giggle

I'm liking this game!
When his patience gives out, he scoops the frosting with his finger and puts it on my nose

"Oh you did not just do that!" I say

"I guess I did" he smirks and licks his finger.

"This is war!" I exclaim and put some on his nose too

He takes another bit of it and puts it on my cheek.
He does it in such a swift motion that his finger accidentally touches my lips and it lingers there as we realize the intimacy of the moment.
Before long, he pulls away like I'm fire and I burned him.

We stare at each other rather shyly and awkwardly.

The customer waiting for his order clears his throat loudly and I look towards my right to see Marge giving me a stern yet playful look.

I gather our things and we go sit at our table. We chuckle as we reach our table.

This is why he's my best friend. He's the only one who can make me feel this way. The only one who can make me feel like I'm truly me and that I'm happy. Only one who makes me crazy.

We sit in silence for a few moments before he breaks it.
"Her name was Sarah Michael" he says out of the blue and I'm lost for a moment before I finally realize that he's taking about his ex girlfriend.

"Oh" is all that comes out of my mouth.
The fire in my stomach ignites again and I mentally roll my eyes at myself.
I bet a million dollars that she was gorgeous and thin and perfect.

"Mason?"

"Hmm?"

"Tell me something" I say as I shift uncomfortably in my seat.
I haven't even said it and I'm already feeling like an idiot

"Yes?"

"Do you think...umm..do you think anyone would ever love me?" I ask, never meeting his eyes, my heart beats wildly in my chest.
I already know the answer: no one ever will.

"Why are you even asking that? You used to be so confident, you knew what you were" he says and I smirk sarcastically

"Well my confidence has been shattered. Along with the rest of me" I confess, tracing the edges of my cup.
He stays silent for some moments and I can feel his eyes boring into my face which is lowered down

"Do you want me to be honest?"

"Very much" I finally look up

His eyes are so full of adoration and respect that for a moment I feel like I don't need him to vocalize his answer. I already know it, because it's written across his face in bold letters.

"Someone will love you someday" his eyes never leave mine and he continues "and they're going to love you so hard and with so much passion that you won't know how to handle so much love. The only thing I know you won't realize is that you are worthy of that love and so much more" his voice lowers to a whisper.

Our eyes stay fixed, exchanging words in a language that is unknown to us.

"Are you sure?" My voice barely comes out

"Positive"

-----------------------

There is nothing good on Facebook or anywhere for that matter.

Just because my life is monotonous doesn't mean people can't do fun stuff?

I'm about to shut my laptop before an idea hits me
Hah!

I quickly type "Sarah Michael" and click search and after a good 5 minutes I think I've found her.
I scroll down on her timeline and see a picture of him and Mason to confirm that she is the Sarah.
It was posted almost 9 months ago.

My eyes widen a fraction as I realize that she isn't what I expected her to be.
She isn't one of those girls that have perfect shiny hair and waists that are the size of my hand.

My eyes take in the whole picture and instead of scowling I actually smile when I realize that it's a picture of Mason's graduation and he's kissing her cheek.

Why am I smiling instead of scowling?
Because he looks happy.
Because I'm imagining myself instead of this beautiful and imperfectly perfect girl standing next to Mason.

My heart swells with happiness as
I try to imagine the comical idea of him loving me like this.

I check her friends and see her...
How does Sarah know this bitch?
How does Sarah know Ashley?

My anger doesn't stop me from clicking on her profile.
I scroll down and see a picture of her and him.
Of her and that jerk.
The jerk that ruined my life.

My blood starts to boil and I'm positive my ears are red by now.

Why?
Why did destiny do this to me?
What bad have I done that is coming back to me like this?

It's like every crack in my soul has been hit with a hammer again and now I'm bleeding.

Before I do some damage to myself, I shut my laptop.
I hold my head in my trembling hands.

My whole body, every single bit of it, is ready to give up.
I want to lie down and just not exist.
I want this constant pain to end. Many faces flash across my mind, faces of my grandmother, my grandfather, mama, papa, Fatima, Mason and suddenly I do want to exist but just not like this.

I get up and decide to do something completely idiotic. I'm going to tell Mason what happened to me, I need his soothing words to tell me that my suffering will end.

I walk to his room and see him leaning his head against the headboard, his eyes closed and an agitated expression on his face. The mystery book is lying next to him and I can't see what it is due to the dim light.

"Mason, are you okay?" I walk inside his room.
He doesn't open his eyes but just shakes his head

"It hurts Amelia. It's eating me up inside" he says weakly, a tear flows down his eye

"What- what do you mean?" I ask

"Mom isn't getting better" he opens his eyes and I walk towards his bed
"Why isn't she getting better Amna?" My name flows out of his mouth and I really don't mind.

"I wish I knew" I whisper. I sit beside him

"She'll be gone Amna" he stares ahead. His tears never stopping.
"I don't want her to. I want my mother to stay alive and see me and Brie go forward in life"

"Oh Mason" I sigh.
The idea of me telling him my problems vanishes from my mind like a cloud of smoke.

I can't very well ask him to calm the tides of my ocean when he's drowning in his ocean himself

"Sometimes things happen, things that we don't like but sadly life doesn't work according to us. But I know you, and I know that you are going to be strong through this. You are going to be okay. God only tests His people as much as they can handle" I try to comfort him

"Why do bad things happen to all the good people?" He turns his face towards me and asks me with so much helplessness and vulnerability that my heart drops to my stomach

"Oh darling" I rest my forehead against his and close my eyes, my hand finds his cheek.
He sighs and very very hesitantly puts his trembling hand over mine. I wipe a tear from his cheek.

"You're going to be okay, it's all going to be okay" I whisper. His hand squeezes mine

My heart drops farther down.
I wish I can always be this near to him, where I can feel every breathe that he takes.
I want to be closer and closer to him until there is nothing left between us.

Ugh! Damn me! Screw me!
Stop it. Stop touching him
My subconscious talks some sense into me.

My eyes fly open and Mason looks at me.
We both grasp the inaptness of our precious little moment and his hand immediately lets go of mine.

I run to my room and slam the door behind me.
An angry growl escapes me and I punch the wall
What the hell? What am I doing?
I need to control myself.

I sink down on the floor

Nobody is ever going to know your problems.

That's not true!

You know it is

I close my eyes in pain.

I'll never be healed.
I'll remain messed up for the rest of my life.
I can't tell him my problems, I can't burden him anymore.

My anger takes charge of me once more and I punch the wall yet again.

The guilt that I have buried inside of me for so long finally sees the light of day and squeezes my heart.
I shut my eyes tighter.

This is all because I have forgotten Him. I have forgotten The One Who Created Me.

And so, for the first time in two years. I call out to Him
"Help me, Ya Allah"

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The truth about what happened to Amna is very near, nearer than you think it is!
Vote and comment if you're excited