My tears flow again and I don't know the reason of their existence. We are just friends...best friends....best friends who will probably never see each other again

---------------

"Oh come on. What the hell? You can't get sick today! We have to go to Disneyland today." I huff and pace the room.

Could this day get any better?
I mean Disneyland!
That's all I asked for!

To recap the whole story:

I came to visit my aunt in America with my grandmother whom I have a very strong relationship with now.

"Amn-"

"Do not complete that." I cut in, shattering my grandmother's desperate attempts to calm me down.

"Okay...Amelia. You're being annoying. Your aunt can't help it if she's having a fever" she tries to talk some sense into me.

"I know" , I sigh "it's just that I want this vacation to be perfect"

Unlike the rest of my life
My subconscious adds
Oh shut it, you!

"It still will be" my grandmother comes and sits with me and I smile at her gently.
I honestly hate myself sometimes for being so rude and moody. She did nothing but love me and nurture me and I give her this in return.
My stupid, idiotic mood swings
It doesn't surprise me that sometimes I wish I didn't exist.
If I didn't, my grandparents wouldn't have to go to my mom, begging for forgiveness. My mom wouldn't have to suffer......
Okay, no time to be emotional right now!

"Hey! I have an idea." my cousin says to his mom.
A dumb one, I'm sure!
I did mention my mood swings, right?

"What?" aunt Hina replies

"You could call Mason. He owes you anyway" he shrugs

Oh no. No, no, no, no. I'm already having a bad day. Now you want me to listen to crappy songs?

"How many times have I told you that he doesn't owe me? He's a sweet kid is all. I can call Christina and ask her if Mason can come?" She looks at me with a questioning look in her eyes.

"Fine. Just tell him to not be a jerk" I huff yet again

Wow it's amazing how far I would go to enjoy this trip.
Mason Rogers?
Seriously?
when did I sink so low?
The only benefit is that you'll get to see his handsome face all day!

I stand up and go to my room to change my clothes. I look for some Disney character outfit because let's be real, it looks cute.

I look for it in my bag and find a Minnie Mouse t shirt and pair it with boyfriend jeans.
I take a shower, straighten my hair and put on some lip gloss
I take a last look at myself in the mirror and then go downstairs to see Mason sitting and playing PS4 with my cousin, Usman.

There is rarely any day that you see a moody teenager playing with a kid.
That is, of course, if he is moody because not everyone is like me.

Yet here he is, playing with my cousin and something tells me that he really isn't that bad.
But hey hey hey! Let me introduce you to my evil half!
I roll my eyes at myself
Mason looks at the stairs when he hears footsteps and then looks away.

Weren't guys like supposed to stare at girls all surprised and baffled and stuff when they look good because I look really good today!

I laugh out loud at my stupid thoughts.

Then as if he has read my mind (or heard my laugh but I'd like to go with the former because I'd like to think that not all boys run away when they see me) he looks at me again and this time I hear Usman scream " I won!"

"Shit!" Mason says

"Hey no swearing in front of the kids!" aunt shouts from the kitchen.

Why is she making food when she is sick?
She's weird.

I smile and then walk down the stairs

Okay Amelia don't lose your temper with this jerk today

I have only talked to Mason once or twice and that was only when I had to tell him to lower down the volume of his horrible music because I was reading.
And that too from inside the house, for all I know someone else could be playing the music.

Every time he said sorry and lowered the voice but I decided he was a jerk.
Okay, okay, I know, very judge mental of me but you know of my evil half!

"Ready to go?" he looks at me.

I look up at him to give him a sharp look but I am stupefied by his brown eyes, like leaves in autumn.
Leaves that are falling or maybe hanging loosely, holding on for dear life.
Or maybe they aren't holding on for dear life, maybe they want to let go. Just like I do sometimes. Let go of my insecurities, of my pain, of my jealousy.
Sometimes even of myself.

Focus

I try to get words out of my mouth
"Yeah" I say , almost a whisper and then I say goodbye to everybody and leave.

Honestly, this has never happened before.
What is wrong with me?
This is not me
I don't get stupefied by some guy's eyes!

Mason actually is or maybe is trying to be a gentleman because he opens the car door for me.
What if he is an evil murderer and is trying to be nice so he can murder you later?

And what good would that be? Mother Nature would be pretty sad over losing me
I reply to my subconscious

I sit down and then the awkward silence begins.
Not a pregnant silence.
Just empty and awkward.
No words hanging in the air, probably because there aren't any words to say
Just spectacular!

"Uh- do you mind if I play some music?" he asks me in a gentle voice which instantly makes me regret all the bad things I've thought about him
e.g. slapping him, ripping his ears off for listening to awful music etc.

"Yeah sure" but then something clicks "unless it's not that crap you listen to"

He chuckles and shakes his head.

"What?" I ask

"Nothing"

"I hate when people do that"
I mean I never understood why people do that

Like, 'hey, I have something to say'

"Yeah what?'

'Oh never mind'

Make up your mind dude.

"It's just that I'm not the one playing the music" he says and my eyebrows knit in confusion

"Who is it then?"

"Your other neighbour" he says, my eyes widen and I feel so embarrassed
So I was right!
Now I'm going to overthink this until I'm 70. Laying on my death bed with a husband just as handsome as him, holding my hand.

Good God, what? You're a disgrace to yourself Amelia.  

"I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell me before? I feel like a jerk"

"That's okay. I just had to go to him and ask him to lower the volume"

"So you aren't exactly a jerk huh?"
How weird would it be to be asked if you're a jerk or not.

Mental note: stop asking awkward questions.

"Guess not" and then he plays the radio and Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol is playing, I was getting bored so I started singing with the radio.

"If I lay here, if I just lay here!" I sing in my ugly voice and then realization hits me.

You can never not be awkward, can you?

"Oh please don't mind my ugly voice" I say to Mason because I honestly forgot he was in the car too and I tortured him with my vocals. Poor guy!

"I don't quite know, how to say.." he sings too and surprisingly his voice is really nice. Like warm
mornings and chocolate and ice cream and honey and custard and.....now I'm hungry.

"My voice is better" he says and winks which makes my stomach do something weird.
Not the chocolate kind of weird but the please-don't-make-me-blush kind of weird

Mason isn't a jerk, until now. Something tells me that today is going to be a good day.
One I would probably remember for a long long time.

So how do you like this chapter and the story so far? Please vote and comment. You can also read my other story life happens