I went to therapy today, expecting to feel better. What the hell. I opened up about my true feelings, about how I'm feeling as depressed and suicidal (oof yeah, that came back. Don't worry though, I'm too much of a pussy to end my life anyway. Plus, I don't want my parents and friends and dogs to suffer. I'll just live with the pain, just like I always do.) as I felt from 6th grade through 9th grade, and right now. Great.

How it happened:

Me: "hahaha I'm so ugly lol"

Therapist: "what? How?"

Me: *tells him an entire goddamn list of things that I hate about myself*

Therapist: "..."

Me: *self-hating jokes*

Therapist: "...So, you haven't been feeling good lately?"

Me: "or maybe I just got confident enough to express my feelings LMAO unless...?"

Therapist: "..."

Me: "..haahahahahha"

Therapist: "..."

Me: "......hah....hahahahah..."

Therapist: "you've got the self-deprecating jokes down, don't you?"

Me: "yeah lmao I suck and should die lol or kill myself haha but I'm too scared for that, I'm a wuss hahahaha"

Therapist: "..."

Me: "..."

Therapist: "..."

Me: "..."

Therapist: "oh boy..."

Me: "....hahaha.... HAHAHA-"

And then the session was over. So, I guess I have to wait for two weeks to see him again. Welp, I'm gonna take a depression nap now. Gn.

Oh yeah, and my aunt and... aunt's husband is coming over. I don't really care too much about them because they don't really care about my family. My mom just wants to hangout with them, but they obviously dislike her the most. Idk why she cares. Maybe it's just out of spite toward me and dad. Meh, I deserve all of the hate I receive.

Again, gn.