OK, LOVE YOU BYE!
003. I did it for the beer

" WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT COMING?" Magnolia gives me a bemused look that lights up my face as I lie on the top of my bed, as I give her a look through the screen of my phone.

Magnolia Fitzpatrick, fellow vacationer in Cousins each and every summer. Commutes from her upper east side penthouse in New York after the Hamptons became 'too basic' for her parents to vacation there each summer.

She may have been my first friend, there's pictures of us at the beach when we were a year old. Although Belly is technically there but it doesn't count considering she was still a bump protruding on Laurel's stomach at that point.

" It's the first night and Belly's here- she doesn't
go parties you know that." I tell her as she exhales,

" sneak her out." magnolia tells me as I exhale with another shake of my head "Laurel would kill me, nevermind my own mom, she's the baby of the group ."

I hear her scoff " she's a baby full stop."

My body stiffens, Magnolia and Belly have not always had the smoothest sailing relationship — where I understood that Belly was younger than the rest of us and didn't want to sneak out the house and get drunk on the beach in the summer like the rest of her, Magnolia...well didn't.

" Mags." I exhale, Belly is my best friend don't get me wrong, but sometimes hanging around with an almost sixteen year old when you're set to go to college soon isn't exactly the easiest thing.

" come, bring belly or don't." she tells me, " but you're my friend as much as you are hers, I haven't seen you in a year."

I exhale, hearing the soft footsteps to a bedroom door I know is Belly's as I turn my head back to the picture of magnolia on my phone screen.

Rolling my eyes " give me an hour." I hum and I hear her quiet celebration as I hang up the phone and roll off the bed. Opening my door and planting myself in the doorway of Belly's room.

She looks at me, and she looks sad " what's up bellybutton?" I ask and she just shakes her head "I hate being the youngest." she mumbles.

My brows furrow " boys not let you go to that party with them?" I ask and she sadly nods, probably more torn up that Conrad didn't back up her going with them.

I walk further in the room and plant myself on top of her bedsheets, which are slightly less ruffled than mine. " come with me then?" I say and she looks at me.

" no, I don't feel well." she tells me

I exhale, " you can't lie to me Bells, I can read you like my  copy of little women back in Boston."

A small smile coats her lips, as she looks at me with hopeful eyes. " what about the moms?" she hums and I shrug with a wink.

" you've told them you're not well, they probably thought I went out with the boys...we're all sorted." she just nods as I begin to walk out the bedroom and back into the hallway.

" be ready in twenty?" I ask and she nods, looking a little more excited " and..we belly, are going to that party and we're going to help you hook up with that guy you met at the gas station."

" or...we'll just have fun." I say when she looks less sure about my previous arrangements for the night.

She lifts her hand " but the moms-" she suggests again.

" won't know a thing, we'll be a couple hours max." I tell her, she hasn't done this as much as I've done — even back in Boston I don't spend every night in my own room.

I'm back in the hallway and point at her " we leave in twenty."

" ELS!" the voice of Magnolia catches me off guard and I've barely made it onto the main part of the beach before she gives me a hug that makes me feeling winded for a couple of seconds.

After about a half hour of getting ready and a following fifteen of convincing Belly that my way of sneaking out my room ( aka out window) was completely safe, we eventually make it to the party. A bonfire centres it all but people have drifted off further down the beach, even the odd couple have decided to take a swim.

She pulls away and she hasn't changed at all over the last year, a hairs got streaks of blonde that ripple through it and her makeup is cleaner but apart from that, she hasn't changed a bit.

" mags!" I hold onto her for a few moments longer before looking at Belly who watches us, "belly you remember magnolia right?"

Belly who looks nervous just nods with a tight lipped smile. Magnolia looks at me as she says "come on, let's get the good drinks before they're all gone!"

I begin to walk, a few steps before I notice Belly still stood watching me and Mags. I turn and smile at her " you not coming bells?" I ask and she shakes her head.

I can feel Magnolia pulling at my arm which I shake off slightly " do you want anything?" To which she just shakes her head again. I nod and turn back around.

We reach the small cooler of alcohol before all the good drinks are gone, me and Magnolia both picking up some kind of fruit flavoured seltzer as I crack it open and look at her.

" so how's New York?" I ask, lifting the can to my lips and look at her.

She shrugs " still polluted, still slowly sinking into the ocean." she says, taking a sip of her drink

" how's Boston?"

I tilt my head " fine, Conrad's being weird right now not sure what that's about."

As she goes to open her mouth, a pair of hands slide around her waist. It's a guy, ( of course it is) as I look at her with a small smirk as I hear him whisper something in her ear as she looks at me.

" catch up with you later?" she says, moving in to quickly kiss my cheek and I can't even fully respond before they're walking away.

My hand cupping over my mouth as I call " wear protection!"

Once Magnolia is out of sight I walk towards the sea, only a few steps. Eyes looking around for anyone I recognise but with Conrad engrossed in conversation with Nicole and Jeremiah and Steven out of view. The ocean is my next best option at company for the night.

I sit down. My fingers circle in the sand as I take another sip or two of this drink that I grow a larger distain for the more I drink it.

" and there she is." his voice makes my posture straighten as I turn around from watching the sea and notice him — his curly brown hair and smile that exclusively looks mischievous. Wearing a white crew neck jumper and a pair of navy shorts, a pair of sunglasses treated more of an accessory as they push back the curls of his hair away from his eyes.

Seth Santiago , Conrad's best ( and possibly only?)  friend and my on and off hookup for the last six months ( but you didn't hear that from me) . It happened last summer, what was years and years of longing glances across the kitchen island and the knowledge that nothing would ever happen, it did in fact happen.

I thought it was just a girl crush, he was always around in the summer, his and Conrad's friendship was something I couldn't even remember beginning, that's how long how they had been friends . Especially when my brothers took up surfing one summer and Seth the self proclaimed surfing god took them under his wing. He'd stumble into the house with a mop of wet hair and a towel covering the lower half of his body. I'd have a moment to admire him behind the book I was reading before Conrad would come in and pull Seth away.

Everyone had a crush on him, every vacationer that came to Cousins revelled in the sight of the beautiful local. He'd take girls to the best spots of the town, he'd know everyone and everyone would love him. It was hard not to be on of the sheep and follow what seemed like ritual in Cousins and fall for him, if only for a second.

It was the first couple weeks of summer, I was bored and Conrad was off at his football camp and Jeremiah and Steven were once again leaving me out of their summer activities and Belly was spending the week with her dad out of cousins — her parents had just gotten divorced and she chose a week in some other beach town than an extra week in cousins that summer.

The moms tried their best in including in what they were doing, but there was only so many lunches at the country club I could tolerate and how ever many shopping sprees my mums cars could afford.

I was alone at the house, reading my copy of little women for what felt like the millionth time in my life and the door went. I figured it was just Jeremiah had forgotten his keys to come back in the house . So as I lulled to the door and pulled it open, I didn't expect to see Seth stood there scanning the inside of my home which quaked in an unfamiliar silence.

Seth came over looking for my brother and instead found me and decide to pull me out of my wallowing.

" where's Connie?" he hums, leant in the frame of the doorway and I'm more focused on making my heart stop its rapid pace in my chest as I shake my head. His hair still wet from what i could only guess what a morning surf, his unabsorbed sunscreen created a glistening sheen against his tanned skin. Hes was a thing of beauty, and here he was at my doorstep.

Wetting my lips, shaking my head out of my inner monologue " um- he's at his football camp...he left last weekend," I watch as Seth's brows furrow " did he not tell you?"

Seth smirks at me, looking slightly bashful " no he did, I must have just forgotten." And he looks at me and by the way I must be looking at him he knows that I don't believe him.

His eyes move to peer inside the inside of the house " where is everyone?"

I exhale " Jer and Steven went to some beach outside of cousins, Belly's with her dad for the next week and a half and the moms have gone shopping."

Brows furrow " so you're here alone? Inside on a day like this?" He asks, turning to notice the sun in all its glory. It was early July and it was peak beach weather.

I hum as he shakes his head with a small laugh.

" no, come on I'm not going to let you be miserable inside of this house." He says, beginning to walk away and my feet remain planted inside the door as I look at him from the doorway as he begins to walk to his car.

Only turning when he finally notices I'm not beside him, " come on Fisher, times a wasting." He tells me.

And I listened, running inside to grab my phone and shoes. A set of house keys that I locked the door with before placing under a plant pot. Chasing after Seth who was already starting the car.

I sit in his passenger seat, which I've never sat in before — I'm only ever in this car with Conrad and therefore was always banished to the back. It feels weird, but I like it. He was so close, our hands inching as we both rested them on the middle console.

" where are we going?" I hum, beginning to piece a text to my mom.

elsie 🌺
gone out , met some girls at the beach . Left my key under plantpot

I don't know why I lied. Me and Seth weren't doing anything wrong technically. Although I would admit I didn't want to face the line of question I would receive from every one when I got back.

I look at him again with a smile on my face as he tilts his head at me.

" don't know, where you wanna go Fisher?" He hums.

A smile on my face as I answer.

The boardwalk. We'd spent the afternoon there and I knew he was letting me win every game we played ( only because he brags about never having loss laser tag every time we had mentioned it before ) but it felt nice. And then we sat on the beach with ice cream melting in our hands, laughing and talking like we had done the entire time we had known each other.

It felt good, I had only been with him in the company of Conrad. Conrad never liked sharing his toys, I knew that. And as we grew up that translated to his friends also. But it was just us, and I liked that.

" I need more napkins!" I tell him, as he laughs at my dripping ice cream that coats my hands as I look at him, " Seth! Please! " I laugh despite my urgency.

He hands me some as I wrap them around the cone and look at him. A soft smile carved in his lips as our gaze lingered like it had some so many times before, but nothing stood between us now. Only a few inches of sea breeze.

" you're so much more fun than your brothers Fisher." he tells me and I nod my head,

" Took you long enough to notice."

And then he drove me home, and as we pulled up outside the front of the house. Everyone was home now, and for some reason I wish they weren't.

I look at the closed front doors, silhouettes now filling the house. I can hear music coming from the garden as I turn to look at Seth who is already looking at me. Smiling softly in my direction.

" you wanna come in?" I ask and he shakes his head at me " promised my mom I'd be home for dinner tonight," he tells me.

I just nod, trying to hide the slight disappointment that he was going, " well.." I exhale with a soft smile.

" thank you for tod-" I begin to thank him, only cut off by the sensation of his lips placed upon mine. It was a challenge not to pull away out of pure shock that it was happening.

But it felt good, it felt right. Instead of pulling away I leaned further into him. Our lips moving in sync as one of his hands reached for my waist.

When we pulled away ( eventually), I look at him with blushed cheeks and a smile " bye Santiago." I hummed.

Our faces still close as he smiled " later Fisher."

It was delicate waters for the first couple days, our stolen glances became more — him asking for help him out with something so he could catch me alone and kiss me. He spent more time at the house when I was alone, or he'd take me to the beach. I'd try to surf and watch him be great at it when I grew tired of falling into the ocean. His hands almost permanently transfixed to my waist and our lips did more kissing than they did talking.

It was harder when Conrad came back to Cousins. They've always been attached to the hip, similar to me and Belly except her love for my older brother is transparent ( for everyone except him) and is a terribly hidden secret.

I look up to him with a smile " here I am."

It was a hookup, nothing more ( well, hook ups). I knew that going in but when it was the end of the summer — it was just implied considering he was always in cousins and I lived here for summer.

and we were lying under his duvet only a few hours before I was meant to be going home, everyone thought I had just gone for one last stroll by the sea.

It ended badly, having watched too many rom coms in my life and thought he would've changed his mind. Thought he might make the trip up to Boston every so often so he could see me, or I'd sneak out and come here for the weekend.

But much to my dismay his decision remained unchanged. after sobbing on my walk back to the house, the only thing left of him was the scent of him that sat on my clothes.

This is in fact our first interaction since. He came up to Boston for Conrad's birthday , I didn't see him. Spent the weekend at a friend who wasn't really a friend just so I didn't have to spend the weekend in the same house as him, walls away from the boy who broke my heart mere months before. And have to pretend like I was fine, when I wasn't .

And when I saw him on Jeremiah's instagram story, he looked happy as he stood beside my brother. Yet I knew him well enough from that one summer alone to know that he wasn't. He had asked for me, at least asked my brothers where I was. trying to play it off cool I suppose.

Now, nine months later he sits down beside me before handing me a bottle as I look at him and that's stupid smile of his before I take it off of him.  Taking a sip and trying not to show my disgust towards this particular drink. Both trying to act like last summer had never happened.

" still can't handle your drink I see Fisher." he hums as I hand him back the glass, " not when the drink in question tastes like piss."

His head tilts back as he laughs and my stomach churns as he does so. I miss hearing that sound, I miss the way the way it made me feel.

My smile is tightlipped as I turn my head, looking at my two brothers who have no idea that I'm even here — but I see Belly so at least she's in good hands.

" con told me you were doing the deb ball this year." he hums, bringing my attention back to him which I simply shrug — he looks deflated by my lack of enthusiasm to have a conversation with him? But what did he expect after nine months and one broken heart that has been poorly mended later?

" I'm thinking about it. It'll be fun I guess." I exhale, moving my eyes back to look at the sea. Knees huddled to my chest as I feel his eyes staring at me.

Probably counting all the ways in which I've changed since he saw me last. My hair's blonder, I dyed it in an attempt of looking less like my dad, my makeup is better and my freckles are more prominent this summer. But on the inside I feel the same, god knows the things that changed the most about me is consequence of Seth and mine's actions.

I feel his fingers push back some hair that's fallen in front of my face, my body tightens at the touch that despite my own actions still sets my skin alight. The cold metal of his rings momentarily brushes the skin of my cheeks, and I turn my head to look at him.

He hasn't changed, just grown up. His hair is still brown and rippled with curls. Eyes still so bright.
His dimples deeper which I can tell by the way he's smiling at me as I look at him.

He tilts his head " I missed seeing your pretty face when I came to visit." he tells me and it's what makes me turn around.

" Yeah," I reply " I didn't really want to talk to you back then."

I hear a deepened exhale fall from his lips
" Ellie-" he speaks my name in a way that clenches my heart in my chest. And I hate it with the same vigour that I use to love it.

" I don't want to talk about it." I tell him, because I don't " it's over and I'm over it."

It's lie. I'm not over it. Maybe after nine months I thought I would be, no contact. Only hearing about the glimpses of his life through what Conrad would tell me, only hearing his voice through the crackle of Conrad's phone speaker through the gap in the open door when I'd pass down the hallway.

But here, right now, as I turn my head and look at him, into those eyes of his that I've seen so close I can see the flecks of gold that are painted between the brow and feel my stomach do that churning anxious feeling. I know I'm most certainly not over it. I've had boyfriends, back in Boston and the occasional hookup during the summers before him. But this is different, the way I feel after so much time passed is different. Our wounds have had months to be healed but yet they are still so raw. At least mine are.

" so you got a boyfriend back in Boston?" he hums, and I scoff with a small " you're so slick." exiting my mouth as I do so.

" what? Does my brother not divulge my sex life to you when you talk on the phone?" I ask and the question makes him tense slightly, Seth shaking his head at me.

he exhales, I hear the gushing of the liquid in the bottle as I assume he takes another swig " so, you are..." he begins as I laugh.

I nod my head " yes, I am having sex." I hear another vicious gushing of the liquid and smile slightly at the fact that this is irritating him.

My shoulders shrug " not like you should care or that it's any of your business considering you're the one who broke it off."

Another swig " you knew what it was going to be Elsie, don't act like I blindsided you or anything like that." his tone defensive as I hum.

My smile is passive aggressive " I'm not acting like anything." I tell him, " and yet here you are, asking if I have a boyfriend back in Boston and who exactly I'm having sex with."

He looks at me, " look, If you weren't who you were.."

My brows furrow " what does that mean?" I sit up slightly, he exhales " if you weren't my best friend's sister, things would be different."

I hate that. A loose thread of hope thrown out to me that I'll never be able to grab ahold of. Because in no world will I ever stop being a Fisher or will Conrad ever stop being best friends with Seth.

I turn my head back, to face the sea " it doesn't matter now." My voice slightly strained and my face contorts into expression that's meant to make it out like I don't care but only expresses those feelings more explicitly " I'm over it."

I am not.

" yeah, it sounds like it." he grumbled as he takes another swig of his drink. I pretend not to have heard him, turning my head to look over my shoulder. The shoulder not facing him, hoping to notice someone who can save me from this.

Where the hell is Magnolia??

That's when my eyes widen noticing a commotion with Conrad by the bonfire.

" oh shit." I begin to push myself up, noticing the fight I just know is going to happen between Conrad and some random dude that from my current view of the back of his head I can't tell who it is.

Seth must too notice what I'm seeing because he's close behind me. I feel it as I begin to walk up, " it's one beer, it's a party relax." Is the first clear sentence I hear as I continue up the beach.

Seth is a little bit closer as I continue towards the sight people are beginning to turn their heads at and watch.

" no give me my beer back. I paid for this." I hear a slight slur in Conrad's voice, Nicole stood in front of Jumper as she attempts ( key word attempts) to calm the situation.

" maybe you should listen to your lady." Jumper says.

" no, I'm fine, I'm fine." Conrad insists at another mention of his state from the brunette in front of him.

" he's a real big man." Jumper mocks, something I know sit well with Conrad, choosing that moment to step in.

" Conrad, come on let's go." I stand in front of my older brother as he looks at me " no, els-" he begins and I nod my head.

" Connie, you're drunk." I tell him and hear a scoff behind me, I keep my hand secured on my brother's chest as I turn my head.

Jumper , that dick from the garage on the edge of town. My brows furrow " fuck off yeah?" my smile is fake as I turn my head back around and try to push my brother away from the situation.

I feel a pair of hands grab my waist, my hands fall off of Conrad and whip around to the figure of Boomer who is reeling himself closer to me " only if you come with me." his breath hit hot against my skin and I feel myself unable to speak.

Only able to push Boomer away " get off of me!" I barely get the words out before I'm pushed aside by Conrad who once again goes for Boomer, now with more ammunition than just trying to steal his beer.

I revolt at the feeling of another pair of hands on me, pulling me away from the view of my brother fighting with Boomer. Revealing the soft smile of Nicole, Conrad's 'something' as she hums a " are you ok Els?"

I ignore her, but I'm brought back to the view, of Belly running up to the scene — no idea what she was thinking, obviously not being use to the fact that you don't approach a fight. I feel relief as I go to get her, time slips away too soon as It falls to slow-motion slightly as I watch Boomer's elbow move backwards, hitting Belly in the eye. My feet begin to move towards her before my brain even acknowledges what happens.

" Asshole!" I push Boomer as I pass by, picking up my pace to kneel beside Belly as she groans holding a flat palm to her eye.

" fuck Bells, are you ok?" I hear her sniffles as she tries to reassure me that she's in fact fine. I watch as another body crouches down beside me, helping her up. I offer him a small smile as he does the same.

It's the twitching of sirens and blue lights that illuminates the darkness of the party. Cops, great.

I notice magnolia's slightly disheveled look as she moves from the darkness a few paces in front of some guy. I suppress the urge to smirk at the severity of our current situation, her grabbing my hand as she rushes us away from the beach and up towards the car.

I'm breathless as we finally reach Jeremiah's red jeep, I hold Magnolia's hand as she fixes her makeup and hair in the side mirror. Whilst my head tilts against the side of the car, panning my eyes around for any sight of my brothers.

Wanting to both hit Conrad for fighting but also hug him and wanting to make sure he was ok.

" come on, let's go home." I hear Jeremiah's voice as my posture straightens and I notice Conrad, Jer, Seth, Belly and her random saviour walking towards the car.

Conrad has his head low, drunker than first expected — however his head lifts and notices me. His gaze softens and I offer a small smile.

" you're a idiot." I loop my arm around his neck and pull him in and he grumbles in response "you alright?" he asks, pulling away and I nod.

" Boomer's been hitting on me since I hit puberty, it's nothing to ruin that pretty boy face for." I notice a small smile as I smoosh his cheeks between my fingers.

He smiles " I did it more for the beer." and I roll my eyes playfully shoving him. Jeremiah coming in and bringing Conrad to the car, the smile dissolving on my face as I notice Seth following a little bit behind.

He's close, not as close as he has been before but close enough to get my heart racing ( but then again I think he could be stood on the other side of the room and I'd still feel like this).

his fingers move to run up my arm, I keep ahold of his gaze and pretend that this has no effect on me. But it does, and he can tell yet I won't give him the satisfaction of admitting to it.

" you alright?" his voice low, and I offer a small smile and nod " I'm ok."

he lifts his hand, making it into a fist as I notice the light bruising against the knuckles " don't worry , Conrad might have been fighting about beer." he jokes and I roll my eyes " but I got one in on your behalf."

I shake my head " you didn't need to do that." I tell him as he shakes his head.

" no matter what is happening with us, you still deserve respect Fisher." he says, in a low tone because he doesn't want Conrad to hear.

I look at him, soft smile curved into my lips, " thank you Santiago."

AUTHORS NOTE.

dare I say...they're the best couple I've written? ( they've got lots of competition)

vote & comment