Xena was stood outside Venus' apartment.

She didn't understand what she was doing there, she couldn't even really understand how she had ended up there. All she knew was that she had driven home from work, gone into her own apartment. Somehow or another, her legs had carried her here.

Xena's heart was racing in her chest. She wanted to leave but kept on hesitating. She didn't like this one bit and wanted to get as far away as possible. However, it seemed like her body had a mind of its own, as she remained-fixated in her position.

Xena had not even changed out of her work clothes. She was still dressed in her suit and work boots. But that was not the worst of it. In Xena's hands was a cupcake.

She had brought a cupcake with her when she came. She didn't know why she did so. It was in Venus' favorite flavor, chocolate. She now cradled the cupcake in her hands as she stared blankly at Venus' apartment door.

Xena had been standing in that position for up to thirty minutes now. She hadn't knocked, had done nothing. She was just standing staring at the grey door before her. Xena was certain that this was insanity. There was absolutely no other explanation for what it was.

"Xena?"

The tall woman felt her heart stop the second she heard the familiar soft voice. Turning around slowly, Xena came face to face with Venus, who had a look of total shock spread across her face. But that was not what stuck out to Xena. Rather, it was how horrible the smaller woman looked. Venus already had a skinny frame, but now she just looked frail. Her eyes were sunken and her lips were cracked. Xena felt like she was staring at a ghost, the remains of a person rather than a living, breathing person. She felt her heart quicken in her chest as she looked at the woman before her.

"I brought you a cupcake." Xena mumbled, stretching out her hand towards Venus.

Venus gazed from Xena to the cupcake. The confusion on her face only seemed to increase by the second. She slowly took the cupcake from Xena and both women just stood there, outside Venus' apartment door. Xena scratched her head awkwardly. She knew that she shouldn't be there. She knew that she should leave.

But yet, when Venus unlocked her apartment door, Xena found herself following the smaller woman inside.

The house was a mess. There were what looked like broken glass bottles all over the floor. Xena's eyes widened when she noticed the cake crumbs and pieces of flower she had gotten for Venus strewn out all over. Turning her head slightly, she made eye contact with Venus who immediately looked away in embarrassment, not saying anything.

It did not take Xena long to pick up on the strong stench of alcohol. The stink was rancid and seemed to fill up the whole place. There was no doubt that Venus had been drinking heavily these past few days. Xena could see it written all over.

Wordlessly, Xena began cleaning up. She wasn't sure what she was doing or why she was doing it, but she didn't question it. Xena had since accepted the fact that her body was on auto-pilot. She gathered a dustpan and broom at the side of the room and swept all the pieces together. The thought of Venus potentially hurting herself on a piece of glass was enough motivation for Xena to ensure that she was as thorough as she could be in her cleaning.

Xena could feel Venus watching her the entire time. She wished she could provide an explanation for what she was doing there, and why she was acting the way she was. The truth was, as much as she tried, she could not. After all, she couldn't even understand it herself.

Xena had finished cleaning up, but the stench of alcohol in the apartment was something she knew she wouldn't be able to get rid of. She was now standing in front of Venus, who was just staring at her with large eyes. Neither of the women were saying anything to the other, neither of them were moving. Just blinking and biting down on their lips awkwardly.

Something came over Xena, she didn't know what it was.

Before she could control herself, before she could fully think through her actions, Xena closed the gap between them. Her lips were on Venus' and it only took the smaller woman a few seconds to respond. Xena tasted blood as she kissed the woman, she even tasted alcohol. But Xena didn't care. They continued to kiss, Xena dragged Venus towards her, pressing her body into hers.

Everything about this felt so right. Yet, there were sirens going off at the logical part of Xena's brain. Everything about this was wrong, in so many different ways.

The feeling was amazing. The desire which both women put into the kiss was unlike something neither of them had experienced before.

Xena found herself thinking, wondering just how something that felt so right was not meant to be. Her lips moved perfectly with Venus', it seemed to be a jigsaw puzzle that fit in so perfectly into the smaller woman's lips. It was as if their lips had been created for this, and this alone.

It wasn't until Xena tasted salt that she pulled apart. The logical part of her brain had finally taken over, and she backtracked. Her brain was spinning so fast and her eyes were wide when she realized what she had just done. She realized the gravity of the situation she had just put herself in.

Xena focused on Venus standing a little distance before her. The woman was crying, tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry." Xena said, her voice was hoarse. "That was my fault, I shouldn't have done that."

Venus said nothing in response, the tears just continued coming down wordlessly.

"I don't understand," Xena blurted out, "how can someone like you do the things you do? How could you just kill people?"

There was a moment of silence.

"It's all that I knew." Venus suddenly said, speaking up. "I had grown up in the foster care system all my life till I finally ran away, working as an Assassin for Richard Mascetti was what got me off the streets."

Xena's eyes widened at this revelation, and she stared down at her feet.

"Does it mean anything that I don't want to do it anymore? That I don't want to kill people anymore?" Venus' voice had barely been a whisper, but Xena had heard it loud and clear in the silent apartment. She brought her head up and looked at the woman in front of her.

"It's not just something you can take back. You can't just repent and all is forgotten, you've killed people. That is a done deal, you've taken away peoples' lives, peoples' loved ones." Xena's voice was cold. Her own words shook her and seemed to knock some sense into her.

Despite how she felt about Venus, it didn't change the fact that she was a killer. She had killed people. But yet, that was not what Xena saw when she looked at the smaller woman.

"I didn't want this." Venus said, speaking up angrily. "I didn't want any of this, it's not like I chose to become what I am. I had grown up not knowing what love was, not belonging anywhere. This was the only place I fell into." She paused then, drawing a sharp breath. "I became an Assassin not because I chose to but because of circumstances in my life. You were in the foster care system too! What if you hadn't been taken in! What if that woman had not adopted you, you could have been just like me-"

"I'm nothing like you!" Xena yelled, her eyes blazing. "I'm not a cold-blooded killer like you, I'm not a monster."

Xena regretted it the moment the words left her mouth. Not only because of the look that spread across Xena's face, but because she knew that she didn't mean a word of it. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't think of Venus as a monster. Xena wished she could see her as that. It would have made the whole ordeal easier.

There was a silence that hung between the two of them which Xena broke: "You're an Assassin, I'm an FBI Agent. We can't be together, we're like oil and water. We simply don't mix."

The smaller woman looked at her with glossy eyes and tear-stained cheeks, her eyes were blazing as she spoke: "your lips didn't seem to think that a few moments ago."

Xena's heart race quickened as the words left Venus' mouth. For the umpteenth time, there was silence between them. Xena thought back to how they had gone from comfortable silences back to tension filled silences. Only, these silences were a hundred times worse than the ones at the beginning.

"I have to go." Xena suddenly said, "I shouldn't even have come here in the first place. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too." Venus replied quietly.

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