Warning: This chapter is incredibly cringy and frustrating. I suggest you lock your weapons away before you kill the cliché's.

Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.

Hmm, I bet no one has ever thought that before! Because fuck every single book!
-________________________-

"My life is horrible Kyoya." I sniffled.

"Really?" He asked sympathetically. "I completely understand and will always be here for you!" He smiled sweetly.

"But we can't be together because you are in a...dun Dun DUN! Arranged marriage!"

"I'm willing to go against my fathers wish my love."

"NO! YOU LOVE HER MORE THAN ME!"

"I could never love anyone as much as you."

I ran away and in a classroom and Kyoya chased after me because he is everything that bitch Renge said.

Sweet, compassionate, and loving~!

Yes that's my Kyoya~!

He sat with me patiently as I cried and tried to overdose on happy pills.

"I was scared you hated me!"

"Never." He said smiling like an angel.

"You love her more don't you?!?"

"I haven't even met her but I'm willing to go against my father even though I strived to do all this hard work, just for a whiny bitch." He laughed warmly.

"I was sent to kill you!"

"I forgive you even though you poisoned my tea."

"I understand everything that you go through perfectly. I sympathize you in every way just like the other fucking million OC's that come knocking on my door and pouring their life problems out even though j couldn't give two shits. But you are different of course."

"No I have to leave." I sniffled and turned away.

"No you don't."

"Yes I do because you can never love me as much as Haruhi!"

"Where did Haruhi even co- nevermind. I love you more even though we met a few days ago."

"I must go!" I cried jumping on a plane.

"No." He grabbed my wrist and pulled me back to Ouran.

"You don't think I need a therapist?"

"Yes I do but I'm going to say no to make you feel better because I'm just that ducking angelic."

"Kyoya~! You are so kind~!"

"Stop cutting."

"Okay~!"

And we lived happily ever after. I replaced Haruhi in the beach scene just like all the other Kyoya fics and basically every scene that made Haruhi X Kyoya be born.

Until my long lost ex came and fought to the death with Kyoya.

But that shall be saved for the sequel!

Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.
Omg he has a death note.

He's so kind and sympathetic. And so understanding! Kyoya is the nicest guy alive!

________________________

Sit down. Sit down right freaking now. *pulls out gun* you aren't leaving until I get this through your head! *^*

KYOYA IS NOT SYMPATHETIC, UNDERSTANDING, KIND, OR ANY OF THAT BULLSHIT!

Did Kyoya sympathize Haruhi openly when he found out she lost her mom?

Hell no.

Did he openly sympathize the twins whose own mother couldn't tell them apart?

Hell no.

Did he sympathize Mori and Honey who couldn't be how they wanted to because of their families?

Hell no.

Did he openly sympathize Tamaki who was a bastard child (I love him though, bless his puppy soul) and was separated from his mother to an abusive batshit crazy granny?

Hell to the ducking no! (Yes ducking was supposed to be there)

Was he kind and understanding to Renge, Haruhi, and the hosts?

HELL NO!

He's the evil tax collector!

Yes, love changes people but not that fucking fast you god damn newbies!

What made you love Kypya? His sweetness? (Exactly what sweetness...) His compassion? (More like murder intent...) or his sympathy? WELL GUESS WHAT. KYOYA DOESN'T DO SYMPATHY AMD HE DOESN'T LAUGH CHEERFULLY!

NOW GET IT STRAIGHT OR I WILL COME TO YOUR FANFICTION AND FUCKING SHOOT YOU!

UNDERSTOOD?!?

God DAMN! In my day people wrote him as cold and sexy not warm and cute so just go in a hole until you've learned *^*