I had just finished cutting again when my dad, who was currently in Italy, decided to hit me. It hurt a lot.

ThenI put my invisible bracelets on and skipped in my stiletto heels to school. My asserts bouncing with each skip.

(Author: assets)

Author you hoe, we've been through this. My only response to you will be two little fingers that stand in the middle of each of my hands.

(Author: fine. Fuck you. I'm going to let you stereotype busty blondes as stupid and be hated by your fellow BBs.)

Thank you geez, took long enough. See what I have to go through? This voice in my head is terrible! My life isn't worth living. Someday I'll just go commit sulicide.

(Author: suicide.)

Whatever.

Anyway. I looked in the mirror  and frowned at what I saw. I had long golden hair and dark chocolatey eyes that sparkled in the light with creamy pale skin, I had an hourglass figure with Double D boobs and a nice bouncy butt with absolutely no fat what so ever.

I was hideous!

I teared up and ran away from the school mirror, asserts bouncing with every step.

I hid in the bathroom and sniffled. Because fuck class, skipping class to go cut open my wrists and cry by myself gets me straight A's.

Why? Logic bitches.
_________________________
I pushed my lunch tray full of food away. I had no money so I couldn't eat lunch.

I leadth a sadth lifeth.
__________________________

"Hi twin sister! Because I'm your twin I'm going to act completely out of character and cling to you because the OC and I are best friends in every single fanfiction! Oh no I broke the fourth wall but that's okay because I'm an out of character Haruhi." Haruhi grinned.

"That's okay Haru-chan! I usually don't have any lines that don't involve cake because for some reason me liking it translates to nothing but cake for the rest of my life!" Honey beamed. "Oh look I said cake again! Yay cake! Hurray for cake! (God help me) get some cake!"

"Oh and apparently Mori can't do anything hut stand there and grunt like a monkey because apparently he doesn't know actual words! Oh is that cake! (Please kill me) not before I have cake!"

"For some reason people write me out as either seductive or cold."

(Author: I wonder why...)

AUTHOR GET OUT!

"I HAVE IT THE WORST! I'M PLAYED AS SOME KIND OF A PERVERTED IDIOT!"

"You didn't really change senpai."

"HOW CRUEL!"

"And they always take the spotlights and steal lines from our scenes." Hikaru pointed out.

"HIKARU YOU INSENSITIVE JERK" I wailed.

"And do that." Kaoru sighed and everyone went to comfort the wailing girl.

__________________________
Host Club is open for business!

I threw on a wig of short blonde hair, pushed down my chest and put on the boy uniform.

"Oh are you a new host?" A couple girls asked.

"Yes! Because apparently you can easily become a host of you wear a chest binder and a wig along with a deep voice. It's not like you have a girl face after all."

"Really? Wow! He's so impressive lets go with him!"

I smugly laughed as I stole all Tamaki's customers even though I literally said a sentence and suddenly I'm the master of seduction.

I flirted easily and they just blushed and fainted even though they've dealt with Tamaki.

The hosts all gushed over me.

Yes, my life was horrible right then. But these hosts would become therapists and law figures so they could save me from my horrible life. They can handle it much better than adults of course!

I looked at my male self in the mirror.

Hot.

I took my wig off along with my binder and got dressed before looking in the mirror again!

I'M HIDEOUS!

I ran away wailing at the top of my lungs, asserts bouncing, as all the hosts chased after me to comfort me.

MY LIFE IS HORRIBLE!