*****

"Do I really see what's in her mind?
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing"

- ABBA

******

After the events of the morning Lloyd had been relatively quiet. Kai tried not to be too worried about it, knowing how scared the kid had been, and instead put him to work cleaning up his mess. Lloyd did it easily enough, fluffing up the pillows, tidying the books, and helping to hold the dustpan so Kai could sweep the glass in. The fire ninja couldn't help but glance at him every once and awhile, trying not to feel too uncomfortable about the situation. After being a ninja for a while, one tended to get desensitized to odd things happening. Snake people are real, temples might make you a ghost, your long lost parents are now sending you badly typed text messages, etcetera, etcetera. All things Kai's grown used. But all of it had a lead up. A precursor to the crazy, if you will. The whole Baby Lloyd Situation™ seemed to come out of nowhere, and this new Lloyd was so different from the versions Kai was used to. But Kai loved Lloyd. So, he was willing to get to know every version of him.

"So," Kai said to break the silence. "Do you want to tell me what that was about?"

Lloyd pointedly ignored him. Kai scowled at that, not expecting such a heavy amount of sass in such a tiny body.

"Hey! I'm talking to you!" The fire ninja snapped, putting down his broom.

The toddler firmly pressed his lips together, continuing to push dirt around with his broom, Kai narrowed his eyes. Kai wasn't letting him off the hook that easy. Thankfully, he knew Lloyd's weakness. "If you answer my question you can have a cookie."

Little Lloyd spun around, eyes wide.

"Ha! That got your attention, huh? Can't change that much with an de-aging potion." Kai said smugly, twirling the broom in his hands. "Come on, kid."

It took a moment but eventually Lloyd followed him into the kitchen. Kai waited for him there, rummaging around the pantry for where Zane stored the extra cookies. He found the speckled jar at the very back, a little too high for even the regular-sized Green Ninja to reach. On it was a small sticky note with a warning from Nya: "FOR DESSERT! I'M TALKING TO YOU LLOYD!". A small tug on his pant leg made Kai look down, Lloyd stared up at him with his big green eyes and made grabby hands to be picked up.

Oh my god. Kai squeezed his eyes shut. He is so cute. The brunette made a show of reluctance, pretending to be annoyed, despite already reaching to grab Lloyd by the armpits and rest him on his hip. The toddler seemed pleased by this and leaned against him, resting his head on Kai's shoulder as the fire ninja unscrewed the cookie jar and reached inside. Kai made sure to get Lloyd's favourite, rainbow chip, and handed it over to him. The little boy cheered before instantly beginning to gnaw on the small pastry.

"Alright," Kai said as he ate. "That was one cookie."

Lloyd paused long enough in his eating to give Kai the stink-eye.

"I know you understand me." The other huffed. "And we had an agreement."

Lloyd looked away, turning his face from Kai as he nibbled at his cookie, much slower than before.

"Hey," Kai said softly, gently tapping on his cheek. "It's just me, green bean."

The tiny Green Ninja avoided his gaze, bottom lip sticking out as he fiddled with his snack. "Scared." He whispered at last.

"Hm?" Kai prompted, leaning closer.

"I was... I was scared. Daddy always leaves. Mommy leaves a lot too. Then... you left." The boy's eyes started to get watery but he wiped them away with his sleeve quickly.

The words broke Kai's heart, of course they did- Kai wasn't made of stone! But what really caught his attention was the grammar Lloyd was using. "Daddy always leaves." Present tense. Judging by the fact Lloyd wasn't afraid of them, he at least felt some sort of familiarity with the ninja, and he seemed to remember his attachment to Kai. His memories must have been jumbled up, pulling events from the past forward and mixing them around. Considering the types of emotions tied to Lloyd's past, Kai reasoned it wasn't going to be a fun time for any of them. It sounded awful. Kai knew he would hate it if his own trauma was dredged up in such a way.

"C'mere, kid." Kai said finally, tucking Lloyd into his side. "I'm not going anywhere."

Lloyd didn't say anything. He just continued to eat his cookie. His quiet, unfortunately, spoke volumes. Kai closed his eyes, feeling the emotional exhaustion tug at him. When I start getting grey hairs, Kai thought wryly, I'm going to blame Lloyd.

*****

"Heyyyyyy," Jay said, trying and failing to be sly after Nya accepted his request to enter.

He poked his head around her bedroom door, a nervous grin on his face as he took in her current state. Nya wouldn't say that she was brooding per se. She was simply bundled up in her cosiest sweatpants, burrowed under her covers, and watching comfort shows as she scowled in her bed.

"Jay." Nya said flatly.

"Ugh, fine." Jay grumbled, stepping all the way into the room and flopping at the end of her bed. "I'm just a little worried about you. You seemed a bit... off after the whole Lloyd-hiding-in-a-closet incident."

Nya scrunched up her nose. "I'm not off." Jay's eyes flicked off to the side, clearly not believing her. "I'm not!"

"Nya," Jay said in a calm, patient voice. "What are you watching?"

"The crappy reboot of Martial Girls-" Nya replied, in sync with Jay's as he answered in a high-pitched copy of her voice. She broke off with a dramatic gasp, hand to her chest.

"Ha!" Jay cheered, pleased with himself. "I knew it! You only watch G2 Martial Girls when something's bothering you. The awful writing and senseless violence and drama is cathartic for you."

Nya gaped at him. "It is not!"

He gave her a look like, bitch please. Before continuing on with their previous topic. "Now, what's going on? Come on, let me be your ear, your shoulder to cry on, your-"

He really knows all of me. Nya thought fleetingly, something warm spreading in her chest before she shoved it away.

"Okay, okay!" Nya shouted, cutting him off. She hunkered down further into her bed. "Fine. I was... I forgot what he was like before."

Jay's eyebrows furrowed. "Before..?"

"Before everything," Nya huffed. "His life... it was messed up. And how he reacted today was a product of that. It... the reason he trashed the living room was out of fear. A 'cry for attention' if you will. Because he'd rather get someone mad than be alone. He'd rather scream and shout and destroy than have to sit alone with that loneliness."

The anger is a relief, Nya recalled. It was a way to release all the pain building up inside. If everything was cracked and splintered on the floor then maybe it would feel less empty. If the world was already falling apart then why not destroy it? Maybe then someone would finally come back.

Jay sucked in a breath. "Wow... that's a lot." He said slowly. Nya shrugged. He moved a little closer to her, eyes wide and concerned. "But you helped him. You knew what to do."

Nya grimaced. "Because of experience."

Jay's eyebrows flew up but he didn't say anything, letting her find the words. It took her a moment to form the sounds on her tongue before she finally released them. This wasn't something she'd ever talked about. "Kai used to have to deal with my tantrums when we were younger." Nya admitted. "It-" A flicker of guilt. "- was a lot for him to have to do. To have to shoulder. It wasn't fair."

Nya rubbed at her cheeks, trying to keep the shame and embarrassment off of her face. "Everyone thinks of Kai as the hothead-"

Jay wasn't able to contain a snort.

"Okay. Everyone thinks of Kai as more of a hothead. But I was the real angry one when we were kids. I wanted Mom and Dad back.  But then they didn't. So... I raged. Sometimes it was too much for Kai and he had to leave. Those days were the scariest. But on other days he'd just sit with me. When I'd calmed down enough I wouldn't hit him, he'd just hug me until it was over." Nya felt herself smile, just a little bit out of fondness. "Lloyd...He needed reassurance that he wouldn't be left behind again. Like before."

Jay nodded. "I think I understand. Especially at the age he is now... Everything is just harder."

Nya snorted. "The understatement of the century." But she paused when she felt Jay's hand over hers.

"We'll get through this." Jay told her, his voice strong, confident, and promising. "We'll figure it out and we'll- I'll do a better job with Lloyd. I'll try to be more understanding and more in-tune with what's going on. It won't all be just on you and Kai. We'll turn him back and we'll figure this whole mess out."

Nya shut her eyes, fighting against the sting. "How can you be so sure?" She whispered.

He gripped her hand tighter and brought it to his lips. "We can get through anything." He said with a smirk, the suaveness was such a strong contrast to his sweet gesture that Nya couldn't help but bark out a laugh. Jay laughed with her and nudged her laptop out of the way so he could pull her into a hug.

"This is nothing compared to everything we've gone through. We can do this." Jay gripped her tightly, voice determined. "Besides, it will be fun too! When else will we be able tease a cute, baby Lloyd?"

Nya shook her head, but she was smiling. "You're silly." She said softly, pulling back and brushing the curls out of his face.

But really what she meant was, I love you.

"I know." Jay replied, pretending to preen.

But really what he was saying was, I love you too.

The two stayed like that for a moment. Then another. They didn't need to talk. It meant enough that they were there together. Because sometimes it's nice to know that someone has your back. Sometimes it's nice to bask at that knowledge that there was someone in the world that knew your whole self, loved you for it, and would take care of you when you needed it. There was something so special about having your person to love and cherish, whether that be platonic, familial, or even romantic. The warm feeling that grows from those kinds of relationships is something to be cherished. So that's what they did. They cherished each other.

******

     Cole tried not to act too weird about it. De-aging was strangely more common than some of their other adventures so he was slightly my desensitized to it than the average person. It was still odd to see his friend doing typical little kid things like randomly jumping around and talking to himself. Cole tried not to let his emotions show though, keeping his face straight as he watched Lloyd play with some old toys. The toys clearly had belonged to Jay, though the lighting ninja claimed he found them somewhere and they must've been Wu's toys when he was a child. But Wu was super old and would never have had access to plastic Fritz Donnegan figures.

      The rest of the ninja had split up to various tasks. Some were covering their daily ninja duties, while others were trying to figure out the whole "younger Lloyd" situation." Cole had unfortunately lost an intense game of rock, paper, scissors, and was tasked with babysitting Little Lloyd until Zane returned to take over.

      Cole had done a pretty good job taking care of Baby Wu. That was something he'd prided himself on. But Baby Wu had also skipped age four and went straight from age one to being a snotty ten-year-old. Cole was dealing with a whole different age of development, with different needs, especially given that Lloyd never had a particularly normal life to revert to. Lloyd was weirdly quiet for a kid, even soft-spoken Wu had been loud and giggly as a child. But Lloyd just sat there, only occasionally chatting to himself while making the Fritz Donnegan toys do flips in the air. He kept on flicking his gaze back at Cole with a weird, wary squint each time. Cole knew the kid was probably just upset he wasn't Kai, something the earth ninja resented. He was just as fun and cool as Kai, thank you very much. Lloyd just doesn't remember it.

      Cole snuck a glance at Lloyd. The kid had already been glaring at him but when he locked eyes with Cole he jumped and looked away.

Cole supposed he must've been bored. Cole didn't remember being four all that much but he knew that he had a short attention span. He also wouldn't have wanted to play with Jay's crummy toys for a hour, not that his stick-in-the-mud father would have ever gotten those for him. He probably would've tried tap shoes first. Cole glanced at Lloyd and watched as he clumsily dropped all the figures. He didn't see the blonde engaging in any advanced dancing. What do four-year-olds do? Cole wondered to himself, wracking his brain for something else.

Then it struck him. There was one thing that he'd absolutely loved, even if it was his dad taking him instead of his mom. "Hey, uh... Lloyd?"

      Slowly, the blonde turned to look at him.

      "Wanna go somewhere?"

***

"YOU TOOK HIM TO THE PARK?"

Cole winced, lowering the volume of his comm as Nya screeched in his ear.

"The local park!" Cole said defensively. "It's not like a took him to Stiix." 
 
"We live on a mountain. What does 'local' mean to you?" He could practically hear Nya's eye twitching.

"Cole, we are literally dead if an evil villain or someone super annoying like Gayle catches wind of this." Kai pointed out through the comm.

That was a good point. Not that Cole would ever admit that. "It'll be fine," He assured them. "The kid needs some fresh air! I'll take good care of him. I'm great with kids!"

"Cole, you've looked after one child in your lifetime and that was Sensei Wu, the easiest child to look after." Nya told him flatly.

Cole frowned. "I beg to differ! He grew at random and demanded tea every second!"

The sigh from the other end of the line was much longer than it needed to be. "Just- get back here." And then she hung up.

The earth ninja scowled, making a face. "Just get back here." He echoed, mocking her voice.

"... uh, I'm still here, bud."

"Oh. Sorry Kai."

"No worries. Just keep an eye on Lloyd. Make sure he doesn't die. That can happen sometimes but it shouldn't be a problem." Then he hung up as if that was a satisfactory closing to a conversation.

Cole let out a long breath, flicking off his communication device, and rubbing at his temples. "Well, looks like the fun is over before we've even started-" He broke off when he turned back to the play area. To his surprise, the patch grass where Lloyd had been was empty and Jay's dolls were left behind.

"Uh...." He looked around, trying not to let Kai's mention of death echo in his head as he surveyed the playground.

It was a quant thing, nothing too huge. There weren't many places to hide, just a tall swing set, a metal climbing structure and a slide attached. It was a decently open area as well so it wasn't like Lloyd could scramble under a bush. Thankfully, it only took a bit of scanning before Cole caught sight of his bright green clothing, golden hair glowing like a beacon in the sun. Surprisingly, Lloyd was among the few children exploring the park.

He was a lot more tentative than the other kids. Sitting at the top of the slide with a contemplative look on his face while the other children flew down with ease, bubbling laughter ringing in the air. Cole strode over to the slide, trying to stay casual as he approached the little Green Ninja. Lloyd flushed a bit when he saw him, eyes looking away in embarrassment. Cole bit his lip to hold back an amused smile.

"You gonna go down the slide?" Cole asked, nodding to it.

"We have to go. I heard." Lloyd replied, still looking away, a stubborn pout on his lips.

"One slide won't hurt." Cole encouraged.

Lloyd looked down at the slide warily. It wasn't all that large from Cole's perspective but it made sense that it seemed a lot more daunting to a little kid. 

"I can go with you." Cole suggested.

Lloyd finally looked back at him, eyes narrowed and glaring at the suggestion. Cole almost laughed at loud. It reminded him of another version of Lloyd. One that sported a skull hoodie, bowl cut, and a lot of sass.

"Alright, alright!" Cole laughed, raising his hands in surrender. "You got this, bud. I promise you won't get hurt."

Lloyd still seemed suspicious but his desire to go down the slide seemed to win over. After taking a deep breath and squeezing his eyes shut, Lloyd flung himself down the slide. He went quite a bit faster than Cole expected and the earth ninja was alarmed to realize that maybe Lloyd would get hurt from the pure velocity of his slide. Hastily, Cole positioned himself at the bottom, and when Lloyd went flying into the air, a terrified scream erupting from his lips, Cole caught him quickly. Lloyd clung to the older ninja, startled, and looked up at him with wide eyes.

"See? I wouldn't let you get hurt." Cole said easily with a grin.

Lloyd stared at him for a moment, clearly trying to figure something out, before he wiggled around, elbowing Cole in the shoulder.

"Ouch! Hey!" Cole protested, letting him down.

"I wanna go again." Lloyd told him, insistently, taking him by the finger and tugging him towards the climbing structure.

Cole blinked in surprise but smiled down at him. "Let's do it." Maybe Nya would kill him when he got back. And maybe Cole wouldn't be allowed to watch Lloyd alone anymore. But seeing the kid zoom down the slide, a wide smile on such a serious face, was worth it all.