"Oh my gosh! Look at this place! I feel smarter already. Oh Ron, can you smell it?"

"Yeah, smells like four thousand dollars a year."

"Oh hey, cheapo." I laughed at their banter as I got around to the front of the car.

"Hey, go ahead. We'll, uh, we'll get your stuff. Just go ahead and check out your room." Ron told Sam.

"Yeah, go." Judy agreed.

"Sam! May I come with you?" I asked him.

"Yeah, sure. One question though: is my roommate someone weird?" He asked. I laughed. He groaned. "No.."

"Sorry, Sam." I wasn't sorry, not one bit.

---------------------------------------------------
We walked down the hall cramped with students before making it to Sam's room. Leo was there hanging posters.

"Hey." Sam greeted him while I leaned against the door frame.

"Hey. You must be Sam, right? I'm Leo. And who's this?" He asked when he spotted me.

"Someone that will kick your aft if you touch her." I warned him. He blinked before looking back at Sam.

"So, I already set up the crib a bit. You want this side or that side?"

"Um, that side." He pointed toward the side that didn't have the posters.

"I already chose that side." Yet, Leo had that side already. They stared at each other before Sam spoke.

"You know what this is? This is the awkward moment. Yeah, see, you're trying to see if I'm a normal guy. I'm trying to see if you're a normal guy. Balanced, unmedicated, nothing under the crawl space." Here they go...

"Good personal hygiene, won't stab me in my sleep." Leo.

"No criminal record, won't steal anything." Sam.

"Including girlfriends." Leo.

"Especially girlfriends." Sam.

"You got a girlfriend?" Leo. He glanced at me as he asked.

"I do. You?" Sam asked.

"No, not a chance. So she your girlfriend?" Leo pointed at me.

"What? No, a friend." I smiled, glad he considered me a friend and not 'the girl that knows things she shouldn't'.

"Ah." He nodded before glancing at me again. I glared. "So, you a techie?" He asked Sam.

Sam tilt his head in a 'kinda' motion.

"Sweet! Sharksky, Fassbinder, where we at?" Leo clapped his hands before walking out of the room with Sam behind him. I followed.

"Server's almost online, Leo." Sharksky, I'm guessing, I never cared to remember their names.

"Network's up and running." The other guy, Flassbinder said.

"Beautiful, that's what I like to hear. That's Sharsky, that's Fassbinder, my IT gurus. Welcome to my empire, bro, The-Real-Effing-Deal-dot-com. That's me, I'm sure you've heard of it." Leo asked us.

"No, I haven't." Sam answered. I just shook my head, seeing as I'll just play along. I saw the other boys look at me but with a glare from me they went back to work. Thank goodness.

"Well, that sucks." Shar said.

"What is all this for?" Sam asked looking around while I leaned against the door frame. Is it me, or have I been leaning a lot?

"See where I'm going, bro. Look, call me gross, but I want to be a baby billionaire. Kitten calendars. That's where I started. Look at me now. Got to have dreams, bro." Leo told Sam.

"Leo! We got some brand-new Shanghai vid!" Fass freaked out.

"Post it, baby! Go, go, go! FTJ! FTJ!" Leo freaked out.

"Oh, it's cleeean." Fass....did something.

"What's FTJ?" Sam asked Leo while looking at the screen that Leo was at.

"Fuel the jet. Fuel the jet, bro." Leo answered making weird motions with his hands.

"FTJ. FTJ! Legit! Did you see that? Did you see that?" Shar finally freaked out.

"Look at this. Half of Shanghai gets wrecked and China says gas leak. Don't believe the hype, bro." Leo told Sam. Sam just stared at the screen like he was in a trance. I closed my eyes and shook my head before looking back at the scene in front of me.

"Just like the alien robots in LA two years ago that everyone covered up." Shar exclaimed.

"Yeah, I saw these robots, and they did this, like, firing thing and they came down and toasted this woman, and she was like-" Fass was explaining.

Sam had enough it seemed. "Looks fake to me."

"Dude, it's not fake, the internet is pure truth." Fass told him. "Video doesn't lie." I scoffed to myself, seeing as none of them heard me.

"It looks fake." Sam told him again.

"No, man, I've seen them. They're, like, these robots-" Fass was talking. Shar jumped in before Sam cut them off.

"Look, look, look, it's fake. Anybody could do it on any computer, okay? And I wasn't, uh, there, so I can't comment or speculate." Sam told them. Wrong thing to say.

"Ah, no." Shar groaned.

"Comment or speculate? And we're supposed to co-habitate? No, listen, okay? Don't be sucking the sack, bro!" Leo jumped in. Ew? Not something I needed to hear again.

"Which sack?" Sam asked

"The ball sack." Duh! Sam, keep up.

"Dude, what kind of tool are you?" Fass asked exasperated. It's so obvious Sam!

"Mainstream media sack. They're lying to us, all right? It's aliens, man." Leo told him getting in his face.

"Okay, okay." Sam backed away.

"Follow me." Leo told us.

We were walking into another office looking room when we heard Fass yell out.

"Leo, bad news! We just got scooped, the video's already up on GFR."

"Damn it, 'Binder! Aah! Robo-Warrior. The guy's our main competition on conspiracy stuff. Effing was my effing idea and he stole it! He's been linking to my site and thieving hits forever. By the way, I read your file. I'm poor, you're poor. We're gonna fix that, all right? You work for me now." Leo explained to Sam while I stood behind him.

"I- I work for you now? That's incredible. First day of college, I got a- I got a career in a dinky Internet firm with a boss who is made up of just pure champion stuff." He looked at me questioningly after he said that. I just shrugged I'm not changing much in this movie, he'll live.

"Are you mocking my life's work, Samuel? Huh? That's your one warning patrolling, dude. Don't make me have Fassbinder hack your financial aid, 'cause I'll do it!" Leo 'threatened'.

Sam walked out with me following him into the hallway.

"Hey, R-A. Listen, ahem, it's getting a little intense in my room. Can I switch out?" He asked.

"Oh, no, sad face three-twelve. No switching, no trading. Let's turn that frown upside down, okay?" She told him, I rose my eyebrows at her as she walked away.

"Oh, here we go."

"We made it. Hi."

"It's just like Hogwarts. Hi!"

"Is this co-ed? This is a co-ed dorm." Ron and Judy arrived.

"You guys want to meet my roommates?" Sam asked them.

"Yes." Judy was eating brownies. People, those aren't normal brownies.

We walked into the room where Leo was chilling out.

"Some real swell guys. Here's Leo." Sam introduced.

"I'm Leo." He shook their hands.

"We're the Witwickies. I'm Judy."

"Hey, you have a great son, you really do." Leo was aft kissing!

"Well, aren't you the sweetest thing?" Oh Judy. I shook my head at her before continuing to watch.

"Yeah, he's real sweet, ma. What is that in your hand, by the way?" Sam asked.

"I got this at the bake sale for the environment that those boys are having. You know, you don't often see white boys with the dreadlocks." I face palmed.

"Judy. Those aren't normal brownies." I told her.

"Mom?"

"Yeah, it's a hundred per cent pure Hawaiian green for the environment."
Just told us.

"Judy, How many of these have you eaten?" Ron asked her.

"Drop it."

"Yeah, they baked it with reefer in it."

"No, it's- Hey!" Everyone was talking at once.

"Please give me-" They started fighting for the now empty bag.

"Hey! It's my cheat day. I can eat what I want." Judy told them while eating another piece that she had in her hand already.

"Give me-" Ron started saying but she walked off.

"Uh, guys." I tried getting their attention.

"I'm going to freak out. Please do something right now, Dad. Please do something right now." Sam put his hands over his ears starting to freak out. Does college do that, make you go crazy? I think it does.

"I did, I tried-" Ron walked after Judy. I nodded, at least he went after her.

"I can eat all the freaking brownies I want!" Judy yelled as they went through the computer/lab room.

I went with Judy and Ron trying to calm her down, I don't know why we tried. We made it outside where Judy started talking loudly.

"Pretty girls! Hey, you. My son lives in this dorm. You should go make friends with him. He's Sam."

"Glad she ain't my momma!" Someone mumbled.

"And he recently had his cherry popped!"

"Oh my Primus." I said into my hands.

"Ooh!"

"He didn't know I was in the house! I heard it all!" Judy laughed.

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" Sam came running out of the building and ran towards us.

"Here he is! He would get in my closet and dress up as Boy Spice! Hey, and his car is a talking robot!" Judy. Told. Everyone. I shook my head head before laughing along.

"She doesn't know what she talking about, she's high, she's seeing things." I told them as I walked by laughing students.

"No, like a- like a GPS. OnStar! OnStar." Sam tried to explain also.

"Frisbee! Whoooooooo!" Judy ran off before tackling a guy.

"No, Dad! Dad, you just gonna let her run around the school?" Sam asked behind me as I ran ahead of them to help the guy up.

"Waaah! Ah! Gimme! Ha ha! Mine, mine, mine!" Judy was having fun at least.

"Hey! Crazy!"

"You want it?" A guy asked her as if she was a dog.

"I want it. Woooo!" I face palmed before slowing walking away from the crime scene.

"Judy, Judy, just... Just put it down." Ron told her.

"You really got to control your mother." Someone told Sam.

"I don't know who this woman is." I'm sorry, Sam, that didn't work.

"Hey, professor, I'd do anything for an A." Oh Primus. I think this is worse than The Fallen himself.

"All right, Grace Slick. We got some snacks in the car. Let's go. Did you get the booties? All right." Ron threw her over his shoulder before walking towards to car.

"Yes, Dad, I got the booties!"

"I'm upside down!"

A/N: That was interesting. Thank you!