I fucking hate life
I just want to die
I don't even care about anyone anymore
I only really care about myself

Yes I'm selfish
Yes I'm greedy
Yes I'm an attention seeker.
Yes I'm a compulsive liar.
Yes I have some sort of personality disorder.
Yes I'm fucked up.
Yes yeah YEAH OKAY I KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH ME

stop reminding me.

I just want to drink all the beer in my fridge.
I want to drink the vodka in my moms basement.
I want to drown myself in alcohol.

I want to die.
I want to die.

Nothing even makes sense.

Why should I wake up in the morning.
All my days are repetitive.

Why should I go to sleep,
I'll wake up tired.

Why should I have friends,
They're not real anyway.
Everyone leaves
Everyone finds someone better.

Why should i eat,
I'm just gonna get fat.

Why should I even do anything.
I keep messing up.

Yeah I have a boyfriend,
But why should I stay for him?
He doesn't know my favorite color or my favorite flavor of tea.
He sees all my messages and leaves them on seen.

I could stay for my friends,
The ones that I really do care about.
But I mean,

They don't feel that real,
Only like two of them.

But they'd be better off without me.

Everyone would.

My parents would be able to pay their bills if they didn't have to waste money on me.

My sister would have an extra room where she could place all her art supplies.

Fucking

God.

I just

Ugh

I hope I die.

Hope a car runs over me.
Or that we get into a really bad car crash and I die.

I hope someone shoots me,
I live in a pretty messed up city anyway,
I could just walk out and get killed.

I hope I choke on a hot Cheeto and die

Or that I get cancer and die

Or that I fall off my bed while im asleep and hit my head and die.

I just want to die
I want to die

I might just take my own life

And I know

I know

I know

Trust me

I 

know

That God,

Will frown upon me.

And I know

I know

That God had a way out for me

But I can't find the way out of here

Death isn't an option though

It never is

But death is

Death

Is like

A nice way to get out of a horrible situation.
And,

I really want this to all stop.

I want to stop caring
To stop knowing.
To stop
Stop
Stop
Breathing
Thinking
Dreaming

I just want to kill myself

I don't want to be here any more.

And nothing

Nothing anyone says will stop me