CHAPTER WARNINGS: trauma dumping, panic attacks, mentions of child abuse.

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The earliest memory Shoto had of Touya wasn't one of his most fondest.

Shoto remembers turning five, his training with Endeavor starting just as his Quirk manifested.

He remembers one of their first sessions, the worst one at best.

And not because it was training.

He remembers how, in the middle of their match where Endeavor was trying to teach him how to make him flames larger, Touya had bursted into the dojo screaming, yelling at their father about how Shoto had replaced him, that Endeavor should focus on him instead.

Then there wasn't screaming anymore, and Touya was turning to him with malice and venom.

Never had Shoto been so scared.

He remembers Touya trying to lunge for him, but Endeavor had grabbed him while Shoto attempted to throw up a meager ice wall to keep his brother away.

There was more screaming, a resounding slap! ​​​​​​and then Touya was being thrown out of the dojo with such practiced ease from their father, that it seemed like he'd done it many times before.

That should've been Shoto's first clue.

The dojo door was permanently locked after the incident.

And Shoto wasn't ever allowed to see any of his siblings.

~~~

Shoto clutched his brothers picture as tightly as he could without breaking the frame as Toga sat in front of him, patching his burns.

"We don't have alot of medical supplies to go around, but this seemed worth it. Don't want you catching an infection."

Shoto turned his head away from her.

"I've had worse, no use using it on me if you need it so much."

Toga gave him a confused look.

"What do you mean you've had worse? These are pretty bad."

He stared her down before gesturing to the large scar on his face.

"Oh." She mumbled.

She went back to cleaning up his burns quietly, and when Shoto looked around the room, his eyes caught another.

Dabi was across the room now, slouched in a corner, watching as Toga fixed him up.

Shoto rose a brow, staring at the man in confusion, before the scarred villain looked away.

"Todoroki."

Shoto flinched at the sudden voice in the quiet, turning his head to where Shigaraki was standing.

"Hm?"

The man stared at him unsettlingly.

"When you said that your father was the cause for your brothers death, what did you mean?"

The room fell into suffocating silence.

Shoto took a deep breath, looking down at the photo still clutched tightly to his chest to avoid everyone's eyes.

"I don't remember much of him, he died before my sixth birthday. But, Fa- Endeavor didn't like to talk about it, I guess he felt guilty. He did say that he had very powerful flames, stronger than his own, but he had my mother's weak constitution to heat, it's why he was deemed a 'failure' to Endeavor. But, no matter what that bastard said to him, my brother still wanted his approval. He hated me, I didn't know why then, but I do now. I'm Enji's 'masterpiece.' I'm the most perfect child for him."

Shoto had a sneer on his face as he spoke his father's words.

"I don't blame Touya for hating me, I'd hate me, too. But I'd wish I'd gotten to know him, so I could tell him that I'm sorry. Tell him that I'm done being Endeavors science project."

Shoto hugged his knees, making Toga pull away from the bandages.

He hid the lower half of his face in them, squeezing his eyes shut as he fought hard against the tears burning behind them.

Shoto let out a sigh, his body slumping forward as he opened his eyes and looked up.

But no one was looking at him. Every member of the League was staring at Dabi who had blood pouring down his face from the stapled scars under his eyes.

Dabi, noticing Shoto was looking at him too, used his hands to roughly scrub the blood away.

And then, without a word, Dabi turned and left the room.

~~~

'Stupid. Fucking stupid.' Dabi thought, berating himself.

Everyone in the league knew why blood sometimes happened to pour from below his eyes, they weren't stupid despite him calling them so.

They knew he'd been wanting to cry, fucking stupid.

He had made it halfway down the hallway, flickering lights and all, before he heard footsteps coming from behind him.

He turned, meeting the two toned gaze of Shoto.

"Why are you following me?" Dabi demanded, trying to put a metaphorical distance between him and the teen.

"You talked to me, at the mall, comforted me, kind of. I felt I should return the favor. You looked upset."

Dabi narrowed his eyes.

"I'm not upset, get your head out of your ass." He sneered.

Shoto furrowed his brows.

"My head's not in my- oh, that was a figure of speech."

Huh. Toga wasn't kidding when she called Shoto socially inept.

Dabi scoffed, turning away from the kid.

"Whatever, just leave me alone."

As Dabi went to walk away again, Shoto called out to him.

"Did something about my brother upset you? I've heard that you don't particularly like Endeavor, was that why?"

Dabi squared his shoulders, hunching in on himself with his back still turned.

"It doesn't matter. Go away." He gritted out

"Did it trigger something for you, or-"

God, did this kid ever stop asking fucking questions?!

In a flash, Dabi turned on Shoto with a scowl and fire-y eyes, blue flames flickering at his fingertips.

"It upset me because he never payed attention to me! All he could ever worry about was you! Perfect Shoto Todoroki, his golden child, his prodigy! He could have given less of a shit about the rest of us! Me, Natsuo, Fuyumi, he could of given less of a fuck if we died! But you? God forbid anyone lay a single finger on his favorite besides him, of course. Is that what you want to hear, Shoto?! I'm your brother, I'm Touya!"

Dabi's chest was heaving as he stopped yelling, shoulders falling up and down with each rapid breath he took.

Every member of the League was now in the hallway staring at him and Shoto in shock.

Meanwhile, Shoto was staring at him with wide eyes, which soon filled with tears that he didn't bother to wipe away as they fell freely down his cheeks.

"Touya?"

And, godammit, Dabi had never heard someone say something so broken.

~~~

Shoto was dying.

Was he dying? It sure felt like it.

His chest felt tight, he couldn't get a breath in, and his head was starting to spin.

His eyes grew fogged as he stared at the man in front of him.

"Y-you... no. You're lying, you can't be-"

Great. Another panic attack.

Shoto choked on his own sob as he struggled to speak.

"You're lying!'

If was getting difficult to breathe, Shoto felt like he just might pass out.

He stumbled as he stepped forward, having to catch himself on the paint peeled wall for support.

Dabi's -Touya's? Shoto wasn't even sure what he should be calling this man anymore- expression changed from one of anger to one of worry as he reached out.

"Shoto-"

"Don't touch me!" Shoto wailed, loosing his balance completely and falling to the floor.

His vision swam as his hearing flickered, only catching brief words.

"He... pan... ttck."

"Ge... im... to... ouch."

And then everything was dark again

~~~

When Shoto woke up again, it was silent.

When he opened his eyes, he was met with an almost empty room, save for the figure beside him.

As soon as he met the other pair of blue eyes he turned his head away with a tired huff.

"Come here to cause me more panic?" Shoto asked sarcastically.

Dabi -it feel wrong to call him Touya, even in his head- let out a sigh.

"I'm sorry I snapped, you didn't deserve that."

Shoto side eyed him with suspicion before looking away again.

"Why are you here?"

Dabi sighed again.

"You passed out, adrenaline crash paired with a panic attack didn't mix too well with your healing injuries. I'd have been surprised if you didn't pass out."

Shoto stayed silent.

With another sigh, Dabi spoke again.

"Look, what happened out there, that isn't how I wanted to tell you. But, I was so on edge with you talking about Endeavor, reminding me why I hate him in the first place, that I took it out on you. I know it's not your fault that he ignored me, nor is it mine, it was his own. If I'm being honest, he shouldn't have had kids in the first place."

Shoto, despite himself, hummed in agreement.

"In my head, I had every reason to hate you, and I shouldn't have. You were just as much of a victim as the rest of us. I don't hate you, Sho, not anymore."

Slowly, Shoto sat up to face him, eyes heavy, but stayed silent.

Dabi's throat bobbed in a way that indicated he was close to tears, despite not being able to produce any.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that I left you there to fend for yourself. I should've come back, I should've been a better brother, i'm-"

"Touya, it's okay." The name came out before he could stop himself.

Dabi stopped his self depreciation, looking at Shoto with glazed over eyes.

Shoto stiffened.

"I'm sorry, it was impulse. I'm sorry if you don't want to be called that anymore-"

"You're fine. Honestly, it'd be weird to me for you not to call me Touya, but I've told everyone else to still call me Dabi, don't want them getting too comfy." He threw in a little wink at the end, with a small matching grin.

Shoto nodded.

"How did they take it? Finding out your Endeavors son?"

Touya grimaced.

"Eh. Shigaraki said it'd be helpful now that we had two of that bastards offspring working for the League, gave us more of an advantage for when we kill him. Toga just asked if my hair was dyed, and the others were just okay with it."

Shoto's eyebrows furrowed.

"Is it?"

Touya looked at him with confusion.

"Is what?"

"Is your hair dyed"?

Touya shook his head.

"No. It's black because of ash."

Shoto pulled a disgusted face.

"And you just keep it on you? Willingly? Do you not shower?"

Touya laughed sarcastically.

"Do I look like I can afford a shower? I'm homeless and poor. Not all of us can rely on a stolen credit card from our father."

"Could've used a public shower." Shoto muttered.

Touya waved him off.

"Judge all you want, but you better get used to not showering for awhile, it's not a luxury we have here in the League."

Shoto stared at him incredulously.

"Just wash your hair, or rinse the ash out with water, not that hard."

Touya reached over and flicked Shoto's ear.

"Enough with how gross I am. Besides, I can't really take showers anyway, irritates the skin." He gestured to the large purple scars all over his body.

"Still gross."

Touya rolled his eyes before standing up from where he was seated on the floor beside the couch.

"Anyway, you've been out cold -heh, cold- for about three hours, I suggest we get some food in you before you starve. How much money does the sperm donor have in his accounts?"

Shoto shrugged.

"Alot."

Touya clapped his shoulders lightly with a smirk.

"Great, you're paying for dinner."

"Wait, Endeavor can probably track payments through the card and find out where I am. Do you know where an ATM is?"

Touya thought for a moment before nodding.

~~~

Shoto had put his hoodie back on as he left the abandoned apartment building, hood pulled over his head as Touya followed behind him in his own disguise.

This part of the city was particularly run down and poor, but Shoto found that he didn't really care, as the worn buildings provided cover.

As they got to the part of town where the banks were, Touya guided Shoto over to an ATM near an alley way.

Deciding to just withdrawal everything into cash, Shoto got started.

It took awhile, having to take cash out in increments as to not overload the machine, but soon enough, both Shoto and Touya had each of their pockets full with rolls of crisp money.

As they headed back to the makeshift base, Shoto spoke.

"Hey, atleast you can pay for a shower now."

Touya placed his hand on the side of Shoto's head and shoved him.

"Shut up."