2 and a half months ago

I'm not that drunk. I'm just tired, I think. Spence and I just drove 11 hours straight from Vegas to San Francisco so we're tired. And now we are in someone's house. I can't really remember how we got here that clearly to be completely honest; I think there was some small music thing and then some girls and yeah Spence is probably off with one of them but I can't remember much right now. The lights are dimmed and tinted purple, everything is really smoky. The room is just so pretty and wavy and cool. So I'm really not that drunk, I'm just tired and also a tiny bit high.

All these people are so great. They're like a different breed of young people from the ones back in Vegas. They're more fun and happy. It probably has something to do with the fact that all the kids in Vegas are trapped in a fucking desert surrounded by the highest levels of profitable depravity in the U.S. and kids in California are hanging off the edge of the country with the world to look forward to. They're freer.

I'm up against a wall in the corner of the room right now, pleasantly not entirely sober, listening to the music feeling the heavy bass vibrate my bones. The room is packed with girls barely dressed and guys drunk off their asses. I'm not talking to anybody at the moment but I was talking to some very nice girls earlier but then they were taken away by their other friends which is fine. I don't really know anybody here but I feel so comfortable.

I scan the room to see what's going on and my eyes land on this guy. He's sitting on a couch talking to a girl who's on the lap of another guy. He's farther away on the opposite side of the room but I can still tell that he's very attractive.

Okay, I have to be careful with how I go about this. I've never had the chance to do anything with a guy even though I've wanted to so I don't want to fuck up my one chance to finally do something. I have no clue if he even likes guys. He's talking to a girl-- a really hot girl who's got a lot of skin showing-- but he doesn't look at all interested in anything that she's flaunting. He's obviously an extremely good looking person himself-- even better looking than the girl in my opinion-- but the guy whose lap the girl is perched on is not at all worried about the two of them being in each others' presence. If the mystery boy was straight he would be a threat to any mediocre guy with a prize on their lap. I need more though because I really don't feel like getting socked in the face for assuming wrong and having to explain why to Spencer in the morning. I focus back on the three on the couch. The girl has gotten in very close and is whispering something into his ear, trying to be inconspicuous. She nods over in my direction and he looks over at me. My insides tighten up. "Shit," I curse under my breath and nonchalantly avert my eyes, carding my free hand that is not holding a cup of non-descript alcohol through my hair. Not long after, though my curiosity gets the best of me and I look back over at him. He's still looking at me but this time I don't look away and I give a small smile which he returns somewhat coyly.

I feel a soft hand land on my shoulder and turn around to see the half-dressed girl with the mediocre guy. I hadn't even noticed that they had left his side on the couch. She gives me a big dopey grin and leans in close so I can hear her over the loud music, "You should go talk to him now that we're not in the way," she nudges her date who awkwardly nods at me. "He thinks you're really hot," she giggles excitedly and gives me a thumbs up as the two of them disappear into the moving crowd.

Well, that might be a good tell.

I weave my way over to this boy who is now sitting alone on the giant couch. He's not currently paying attention to me as he's playing with a small piece of thread from his sleeve. The closer I get the faster my pulse picks up. This is fine, I can do this. I've talked up many girls, boys can't be much work. Before I make myself known I take a fast look around me at the rest of the people to make sure that Spencer isn't in the same room. I saw him go upstairs with one of the girls from the concert thing so I'm hoping he's still up there with her.

I take in a deep breath and try to find any sort of confidence. I bend down towards him so that I can be heard, "Hi."

He seems startled as he jumps and looks up at me, his face only inches from mine, "Hi." This time I have a close view of his whole face. He's stunning, really. He's relaxed into the couch but is still noticeably tense. He's just as nervous as I am. God, he has no reason to be nervous. I take a seat next to him on the couch, sinking in more than I was anticipating and struggling to seat myself in an appropriate position, my face heating up. He giggles at my sudden loss of cool. "I haven't seen you around here before," he leans forward over the coffee table in front of us and starts rummaging through the crap that's all over it.

"Well, I'm not from here," I supply, "I'm on a trip with my friend."

He hums in an interested response, "That sounds really cool. I bet you've had a bunch of fun already." He's rolled a joint and stuck it in between his lips. He bucks his hips up and retrieves a lighter from his front jean pocket. Settling back down he brings the lighter up close to his face to light the joint. The little flame illuminates his face and I finally get a chance to get a good look at him. All of his features are very soft but somehow appeared to be-- well-- big, coming together nonsensically; big beautiful eyes, full pink lips.

"This is actually the first night of our trip," I say slightly distracted. "But I am having a bunch of fun right now." His eyes shift over to me and his lips curve upwards around the joint. After he's successfully lit it he lightly tosses the lighter onto the table and takes a long hit, his cheeks hollowing out for a good four seconds. It was very distracting. He holds it in and only blows out the smoke once he relaxes back down on the couch, adding to the cloudiness in the room. He looks over at me bashfully and passes the joint to me. I hesitate for a moment still kind of in awe of him but then take it and bring it to my mouth taking just as long as a hit as he did, holding it in for a few seconds before joining him in the overly sunken cushions. Hopefully, I can calm the hell down now. "I'm Ryan." I hand the joint back over to him and start to feel a bit less tense.

"I'm Brendon."

~~~

We've been talking on the couch for like... a long time. The rest of the joint disappeared a while ago and I haven't had anything to drink since I came over here and put down my cup which has now disappeared. I haven't seen Brendon drinking since my arrival either. The both of us are sitting much closer together and he keeps doing these really flirty things and I don't really know how much more I can take. It's confusing to be honest because signals from girls and guys are very different. I've only had to figure out girls before because I've had no real interest in guys in Vegas. There are definitely other guys that are out at my school but I just wouldn't be comfortable with that and is that me trying to hold onto a heteronormative lifestyle? I don't know, maybe. I know I'm not straight, I'm not in denial about that. Change is just scary. I also don't think that my dad finding out would be good either with his homophobic tendencies. But he's a drunk with a failed marriage so his opinion on where I should be sticking it doesn't really have too much of an impact on me. Especially right now. I would say that my preferences sway more towards girls but right now Brendon is the only thing I can really pay any ounce of attention to. It's just the way his hair keeps falling in front of his soft, semi-glazed eyes that I'm continuing to catch roaming over my body and different parts of my face. I'm not even sure if it's seduction or just a habit but every once in a while he lightly dampens his bottom lip with his tongue and then gently bites it.

Brendon's hair falls in his face again and fuck I can't help it. I brush his hair to the side with my own hand and he looks up at me, his brown eyes suddenly a bit darker. I move in and his soft, full lips eagerly meet mine the rest of the way. We separate for a split second to watch each other's reactions but immediately reconnect. I guess we had both been a little confused by the signals we were both sending because the kiss is slow but hungry, filled with built up anticipation.

I am fully aware that this guy is unbelievably attractive and that that was the reason I came over here and I did really enjoy the conversation that we were having before even if it was mostly surface level bullshit so this is supposed to be a casual party hookup but this feels different. Girls are fucking wonderful, don't get me wrong, but this? My body has not experienced this sort of reaction to a kiss. This is something immediate. The instant I swipe my tongue against his bottom lip he just opens up and I deepen the kiss, our tongues crashing together. His fucking mouth-- oh my god.

Brendon suddenly pulls back and our lips separate with a pop. I look at him confused but his eyes are still blown and longing. "I think we should go somewhere else," he pants, his hot sweet breath hitting my face. His eyes wander down and I follow his gaze to my crotch which has started to feel tight-- that was fast. He licks his bottom lip again and I notice the bulge that's grown in his jeans.

I swallow hard, "Mhm, yeah, where?"

He gets up and grabs my hand, pulling me through the crowd of sweaty, oblivious bodies moving to the blaring music, seeming to know exactly where he's going. We end up in a long hallway where the lighting has shifted from purple to blue. Brendon walks quickly up to one of the doors and frantically pounds it with his fist. An annoyed girl yells from the other side of the door for whoever is knocking to fuck off. Brendon curses and takes us further down the hall to another door which he knocks on violently but gets no response.

He opens the door to an empty laundry room. We close and lock the door behind us already connected at the lips and banging into the machines and hampers. I get his upper back pinned against a wall but his hips are still bucking forward, searching for any sort of friction which he eventually finds on my upper thigh. I have one arm wrapped around his small torso and my other hand greedily kneading one of his firm, round ass cheeks. I can feel his muffled moan vibrate in my mouth as I lean into him and add more pressure, pushing the rest of his body against the wall. His hands, they're fucking everywhere; in my hair, the side of my neck, under my shirt. We start to grind against each other and are forced to part our lips in order to get the right amount of oxygen. Shit, this is intense. Feeling dazed with pleasure I rest my forehead down on his shoulder and feel his mouth attach to the area of my neck that's right below my ear and a shiver runs through my body.

"Oh, fuck, Bren," I try to hold in a moan. Then out of nowhere, I blurt out, "I've never done this with a guy."

What the fuck was that, Ryan?!

Brendon's lips slowly leave my neck and our hips, to my extreme disappointment, come to a halt. I anxiously wait for a response when our eyes meet but his are still wandering over my body. My insides feel like they're going to combust.

"Flip around," he says calmly, biting his lip as we switch positions with my back against the wall. My stomach jumps when he plants a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth and continues doing so on my cheek and my jaw and my neck and at a normal pace he starts to undo my belt and jeans. My pulse starts to pick up again and its the only thing I can hear in my ears. I hiss when he cups my dick through my boxers, my jeans resting halfway down my thighs. He starts to sink down to his knees, the toes of his shoes almost touching the dryers in such a confined space. His hand dips down below the elastic and grabs the base of my hard cock, squeezing, and starts to stroke it now pulling the rest of my boxers down over it. My insides are twisting and my breathing hitches when his tongue stripes the underside. He keeps stroking with one hand and the other at the base. "You're really pretty," he says to me, sounding and looking completely blissed out. Electricity shoots up my spine as his swollen red lips take me in and his tongue swirls around my tip and-- God-- fuck. My hand flies up to my hair in utter disbelief of the extreme pleasure I am feeling and he hasn't even done much yet. Just then his hand leaves the base of my cock, instead of wrapping around my inner thigh as he takes all of me in.

"Holy shit," I grunt, bucking my hips forward involuntarily. My fingers are tangled in his locks, fisting his hair. He starts to bob his head up and down and he moans around me, the vibrations driving me up the wall. His mouth is so smooth and warm. Right before I feel like I can finally get a grip on myself he starts picking up the pace and sucking even harder. He's just taking it though, all of it, I'm watching it sliding in and out of his beautiful wet lips and holy shit its never felt like this before.

My breathing has become heavy and shaky. All the hot pressure that's building up. I bite down on my lip to prevent a whimper from escaping my throat when Brendon reaches up and starts massaging my ass. Every touch feels hot on my skin. I don't think I can handle this amount of pleasure coursing through me; my knees are seriously about to buckle.

My cock slips out of Brendon's shiny mouth as he backs off to catch his breath. He still keeps kissing the tip though, mixing his saliva with my precum occasionally licking the slit to keep me with him. He's consistent with his strokes but lags for a second so I look down again to see that he's managed to undo his own pants and has begun to stroke his own erection. I had no idea that someone could get so turned on from performing a blowjob, but Brendon is going at it already leaking and it turns me on even more which I didn't know was even humanly possible.

"Fuuck, you're hot," I groan shamelessly and he looks up at me through his long lashes, his eyes wide with adrenaline. He smirks widely though still panting and starts to mouth at the side of my shaft with those lips of his. The air begins to heat up around us. Before I've really prepared myself Brendon is already back on me, sucking even harder than before and I'm truly beginning to unravel. I tighten my grip on his soft stands of hair and gently rock with his movements holding back, fearful of hurting him, but at the way he's taking it down, I'd say that that's a foolish fear. And the way he's using his tongue makes my skin crawl.

Brendon carries out a string of moans and groans on my dick and in my brain of mush, I gather that he's gonna come soon so I look down to capture that moment.

Oh my fuck. Brendon, on his knees, mouth hollowed trying so hard to continue pleasuring me while restraining his own hips from bucking forward erratically as he comes so close to a release. His brows furrow in intense concentration as he takes care of both of us. My hand that was in his hair moves down to his jaw. His gaze seems lost for a moment when he opens his eyes before he looks up. "C'mere."

Brendon gets off of me once again this time coming up to standing. Out of breath and on display he stands there letting me take him in. Never seen anything more tantalizing in my life. One more look at his glistening swollen lips and I clutch his shirt and pull him into me, our mouths instantly crash together. He tastes like me. I grab onto his hard length firmly and begin to stroke it. Brendon breaks the kiss with a hiss in response to the touch. We move back until his ass is pressed against one of the washing machines and I bend over to his ear and whisper, "You didn't think I could just let you have all the fun."

I attack his neck and suck on the salty skin there. He curses my name when I press my thumb against his slit. He reaches down and continues rubbing me. I feel like I'm going to melt. I just suck even harder on the one part of his neck, intent on leaving a mark, but I let go to watch his face as he climaxes. Brendon's eyes remain screwed shut and his mouth slack as the warm white liquid spills over in my hand. I get him through his orgasm before letting go of him. All the while he's still got me in his hand and after that, I'm just about ready to come undone and-- fuck.

"Oh fuck, I'm gonna--" Brendon pushes me back again and gets on his knees. He starts licking everywhere-- shit. I swear my head is about to explode. He wraps his lips just around my throbbing tip and I come hard. Brendon swallows it all down still sucking. When I'm done he releases my spent cock and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand standing up. I try my best to hide the fact that I'm shaking. Holy shit.

"I wanted to see what you tasted like ever since I saw you walk in," he says biting his lip. His voice is thick and rough from having my dick down his throat. "You taste good."

"Christ," all I can do is smile in amazement. That actually happened. We both pull up our boxers and pants.

"Oh shit," Brendon curses down at his pants. His come is all over them.

"Sorry about that," I say a bit awkwardly.

Brendon raises his eyebrow and cracks a grin. "It's alright, Ryan, this isn't yours," he chuckles.

"Yeah, but I'll have to do a better cleaning up job next time," I respond with a smirk. I catch his eyes and see a glint of something in them. He kicks his pants all the way off, "Woah. Whatchya doing there?"

He's going through some of the clothes in one of the hampers and pulls out a pair of jeans, "Oh, um, this is my friend's place. I'm just gonna borrow some pants. I'm not stealing a random person's pants."

"Okay, okay," I put my hands up in surrender.

"Hey, do you wanna go grab something to eat? I'm fucking starving." My stomach growls just then.

"Food sounds really good." I feel a buzzing near my foot and look down to see that it's my phone. I just got a text.

Spencer: hey maan where the hell are you? ive been looking all over.

"... and there's this place with these amazing tacos--"

"I, uh, I actually gotta go right now." I rush out, panicked.

"Oh, um, okay," Brendon's face changes.

"But here," I give him my phone, "put in your number. I'll be here for another five days." Brendon takes it reluctantly, "I'm sure I'll be seeing you again."

"Yeah."

I watch him straighten himself out and then re-enter the blue foggy hallway.