When I found a beach, I sat there with my feet in the water for hours thinking about life and how much things had changed. I thought about my mom; the fact that I never got to know her or how she really felt. I thought about my brothers; and how I almost fucked things up with one of them. I thought about my life before moving in with them, and surprisingly so I didn't miss it. I didn't really have friends, I had acquaintances. I had a fuck buddy, and that was it. I very much stayed alone, and was lonely for a long time. 

I didn't want that again. 

I refused to lose my brothers again. 

Never again. 

Then I thought about Jungkook. 

The way that Taehyung spoke to him, it was obvious that it was a habit of his to hook up with girls at parties. Not that I'm judging...but I never wanted to be that girl for any guy. Especially for my brothers best friend. Now that's all he'll see me as...a girl he fucked at his birthday party. He'll tell his friends how he nailed Taehyung's older sister. 

And apparently he isn't...'done with me yet.'

That almost made me mad. The hell he isn't done with me yet, I'll be damned if Jungkook things he will ever get his hands on me again. 

||

Ever since he night of Jungkook's birthday, he hasn't left the house. It's almost as if he fucking lives here. I've had to dodge him way too many times to count. He's here in the morning when I wake up, he's here for family dinners, he's here at family movie night, he spends the night, he even has his own room now in the basement. He's even here if no one else is...finally I broke down and asked Taehyung what was going on...and he said he hadn't noticed Jungkook being here more than normal. That it was actually more abnormal for him to not be here than to be here...apparently this has been going on for years, and the room in the basement was always technically his. 

Great. 

On top of that, he's constantly trying to flirt. I really don't care that he is here, but it makes it really hard to ignore him. He is constantly running around he house in almost no clothes. He spends most of his vacation by the pool with Tae, Yoongi, Namjoon, Jimin, Jin and Hoseok, and every time I join him, the boys have to remind him to not be an idiot or say idiot things. 

Occasionally I'll reply to his flirtiness...but I need to stop doing that. Every time I do he just comes on even stronger and I have to physically remove myself. If he were to actually touch me...I might break and let him do whatever he wanted to me. 

He was very good. Sometimes I missed his touch...but every time I did, and every time I was tempted allow more than flirting...the echo of his and Tae's conversation ring in my head. 

I wont let him touch me. 

Even more...I kept a lock on my door at all times.

||

I was in the living room watching a TV scary movie that was pretty good. I was eating a yogurt getting really into the movie when suddenly a loud shout and a pair of hands took hold of my shoulders. 

"YAH!" They shouted causing me to call out. I fell off the couch to the floor, my yogurt getting all over my sweatshirt. I heard hard laughing from behind me and when I looked up, I saw no one other than Jungkook. 

"Thanks." I scolded getting to my feet. "Now I have Yogurt all over me." I sighed heavily taking off my sweatshirt, carful to not get the yogurt on me. He continued to laugh and plopped down on the chair beside the couch, still chuckling. 

"Sorry...I didn't realize you were eating anything." 

"Ha, ha." I mocked. I walked over to the kitchen using the sink to rinse off my sweatshirt. It didn't help, so I walked into the laundry room throwing it in the dirty laundry that I had not yet done. When I walked out and toward the stairs, I stopped when I saw a shadow. I looked up and there was Jungkook, at the end of the stairs I stopped in my tracks and moved to go towards the living room again, and I could hear him follow me. 

I stopped at the end of the couch and grabbed he blanket on the back of it wrapping it around myself. Jungkook was smiling to himself and sat on the opposite side of the same couch. 

There were two very large chairs in this room, and two large couches. But of course he decides to use the same one I'm using. I look over at him, and he's staring at me, smirking. 

"What are you all smiley about?" I asked. 

"You." He replied starting to chuckle. 

"What?"

He scooted a little closer. "You have been avoiding me like the plauge for the last two weeks. Ever since the morning of the party you don't let me get anywhere near you." He scooted closer and my eyes burned on him. 

"So?" 

"So..." he replied, now half way down the couch. "It's funny." 

"I fail to see the humor." 

"I guess it's just funny to me." he bit his lip and got on the cushion next to me, and I could already feel my heart racing. 

"Right." I replied looking back at the TV. 

He scooted just a little closer and placed his hand on my foot. I didn't want to pull my foot back, or run away, because I didn't want him to think that he had any effect on me. He pulled my foot from under the blanket and started massaging it. It felt good. 

It felt really good. 

The problem was that it made me think of how strong he is...how his chest and stomach were defined and he had perfect indents of his skin outlining his muscles. How easy it was for him to move me around the bed...how his hands felt on my waist...my back. 

How he was unrelentless with his thrusting...never slowing...never faltering...never getting tired. I closed my eyes at the memory, and I throbbed slightly. I swallowed thickly and opened my eyes slowly, trying to focus on he movie, but his hands moved from my foot to my ankle, and from my ankle to my calf. 

His fingers worked over my muscle perfectly, giving me just enough pressure to relax me. 

Just like he gave enough pressure when he choked me...or when he flicked my clit with his fingers...and his tongue. Memories started to flood me, and my desire started to burn, I didn't even notice one of his hands snaking up my leg, until it was at my outer thigh. I was snapped from my thoughts and my memories, and I pulled my leg from his hold. 

He gave me a disappointed look, still with a smirk, and sighed heavily. "Did you not like the massage?" 

"I did." I responded. "Thank you but that's enough." 

"I could do the other foot and leg." he said moving to grab my other foot. I pulled it from his reach pulling my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms and the blanket around me. 

"No thank you. I'm fine." 

He moved to face the TV and we awkwardly sat there, together, watching the bad horror film. 

To be honest I wasn't even paying attention. 

I was more focused on trying to regulate my breathing. 

He was too close to me. 

I was going to break soon if he touched me again, and that is the last thing I wanted. I felt him move but I kept my eyes focused on the screen, and I flinched when I felt him move off the couch and couldn't help but look up. He had moved to hover over me, placing each of his hands on each side of my head. His facial expression was serious, not flirty, and I was oh so very confused. 

It wasn't like him to not be flirty. 

"What's wrong?" He asked. 

"You're really fucking close to my face and I'm trying to watch the movie." 

"That's not what I'm talking about." he replied not moving an inch. He still wasn't touching me which was good...but now I had to fight the urge to lean up and take his lips with mine. "Did I do something? Was I rude to you? We had such a great night together why are you so cold to me now?" 

"Because that's all it was Jungkook...a great night. Okay? I'm not going to be your little sex toy whenever you get horny. I should have never slept with you in the first place." I spat. 

He scoffed and leaned up but didn't move his feet. "Wow...so you regret sleeping with me?" 

"I regret being another girl at a party you fucked." I said looking into his eyes. His expression softened and he looked sad, but I wasn't falling for it. "I'm never that girl...I have never been that girl." I continued. "You're used to going to parties and hooking up, but that's not something I do. So excuse me for not wanting to lead you on letting you think I'm going to be some play thing." 

He stood there in silence for a moment, I assume to soak in my words. "What gave you the idea that you're just a girl I fucked." 

"I heard your conversation with Taehyung." I said and his arms dropped to his side. "Obviously, partying, and fucking party girls is your thing. I'm not judging...but its not my thing and I don't want that." 

"I don't want that." he repeated. 

"Good. Then stop with this childish behavior and just watch the movie if you're really that interested in staying here with me." 

I took him a second but he moved and sat beside me. Still directly beside me but beside me nonetheless. His arms were crossed tightly across his chest, and he was breathing heavily as if he was angry. Just then my phone dinged a few times and when I opened the notification it was a group chat with Namjoon, Taehyung. 

Namjoon: Noona, Jimin and I are going to go away for the weekend, just us. Will you please transfer some extra money into my account for the weekend? Enough for a hotel room and dinner. 

Me: Sure, I'll be sure you have plenty. Have fun and be good to Jiminie.  😘

Namjoon: Always.  🥰

Taehyung: Have fun Hyung! Noona, I'm going to spend the weekend with Yoongi. He said he had a fun weekend planned, and since Hoseok is staying with Jin hyung, I gives us the house to ourselves. 

Me: Need anything from me?

Taehyung: No I don't believe so. Are you going to be okay by yourself for the weekend? 

Namjoon: Don't worry Tae, Kookie is at the house this weekend.  😏

Me: Oh...just this weekend?  🙄

Taehyung: Well at least you'll have the weekend to yourselves.  😈

Me: Dear lord...okay, you both have fun.  ❤️

I put my phone down and continued to watch the movie. Jungkook hasn't moved and inch and I noticed though his gaze is ahead of him, he was looking down and not at the TV. Just then his phone dinged, and I saw that it was Taehyung. He replied a short response, and handed his phone to me. 

"Will you please put this on the table?" 

I took it from him and when my fingers grazed his, I felt the same heat I felt every time I touched him. I took his phone from him and placed it on the table next to me. Another few minutes passed and I was starting to feel bad. I clearly upset him somehow, and I honestly didn't mean to. I went to say something, but when I turned to him I found him staring at me. 

My eyes went wide a bit, and I opened my mouth to say something but he beat me to it. 

"I would never treat you, of all people, like something to toy with." 

"What do you mean by me of all people?" I asked, neither of us moving. 

"I may talk a lot of shit...but you're my best friends sister...I would never treat you as if all you were good for was a piece of meat." 

I scoffed. "Then why are you constantly trying to get back between my legs?" 

He blinked a few times before he answered, and I have to say, his answer impressed me. 

"You're different. You have respect for yourself, and didn't throw yourself at me. You didn't wear some revealing dress trying to seduce me. I was attracted to your personality. I didn't go up on the balcony looking for you, you were just there. You were kind to me and made me feel like a person. I would never make someone who made me feel worth something, as if hey were worthless." 

I stared at him for a minute, both of our breathing becoming heavy. 

"Thank you." I whispered. 

He swallowed thickly and nodded in acknowledgment. He turned back to the TV and I followed. 

I still wasn't paying attention, and then he spoke again. 

"So it's just you and me this weekend..." 

"Yep." 

"Yep..."