Over the next several weeks things started to flow pretty steadily. There were less and less awkward moments, and gradually Namjoon, Taehyung and I would spend time together. We would have frequent family dinners, and even family movie nights. I spent more time with Namjoon that I did with Taehyung simply because it was exam time for Taehyung's schooling. He had several projects and since his friend Kookie was in all of his classes, they spent a lot of time together studying. Since Kookie's family was only in the area for months at a time, he had his house to himself, and Taehyung and Yoongi spent a lot of time over there. They would also stay overnight, going to school together.

I guess you could say things were...normal. Not normal for me. But we were becoming a normal family. Jimin was over all the time, and quickly moved in. Since he was on his own, the conversation was had between Namjoon and Jimin that they wanted to take this step, and both Tae and I were 100% behind them. I was really happy for them too.

I would often cook, but Jimin made sure that Taehyung, Namjoon and himself would often take care of the cleaning, so that I did not feel like their maid. I appreciated the respect, and I also appreciated being considered family. At least I felt that way. They made me feel like I was part of the family, and it had only been about 6 weeks sine I had been officially living in the house.

There was an elephant in the room though. Neither Namjoon nor Taehyung had ever asked me questions about my pregnancy or miscarriage. They never asked about how I was able to keep tabs on them for as long as I did. They really didn't ask anything. I wasn't sure if it was because they didn't know how, or when; or if it was simply out of respect for my privacy. But the unknown would soon be eased. It was early on a Friday night when I heard a light knock on my door.

I closed my laptop spinning in my chair to see Namjoon poking his head inside. "Hey." I smiled to him. "Come on in!"

"I'm not interrupting?"

"No. I already sent the final draft to the new book to my publisher, so I have a good month or two before I have to focus on a new story."

"That's awesome." He said as he stepped in. He walked further into my room and sat on a chair across from me looking a little nervous.

"Are you okay?" I asked, now concerned that something happened.

'Yeah." he mumbled rubbing his hand over his mouth. "Jimin went with Taehyung to Kookie's to help quiz them for their exams. I think they are done with classes for the semester next week. Their last exam on Thursday."

"Oh that's good!" I smiled. "That gives them a month of a break, right?"

"Actually, two. Their final semester is only 3 months instead of 4 as long as they have top marks this semester, and both of them are incredibly smart so I don't have a doubt that they will."

"Oh good." I smiled. He looked down and looked uncomfortable again. "That's not what you came in here for though."

He chuckled. "No, it's not."

"Come on Joon." I encouraged. "You can tell me."

He hesitated for a moment before looking back into my eyes. "I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions. You know...about the time we spent apart."

I knew this was coming. "Of course you can. You can ask me anything."

I wanted this. I wanted to give him some closure. I wanted him to know my story.

"If I get too personal, or you don't want to answer just tell me."

"I will answer any question you have. You deserve answers."

He sighed heavily. "Who was the father?"

I did not expect that to be the first thing he asked me. But I mean, where do you start on a conversation like this? This was as good as anything.

"Do you remember a few months before I left, the guy that I brought over for dinner? Taehyung was really sick, and you had dinner but didn't stay so that you could watch over him?"

He nodded. "I cant remember his name though."

"His name was Choi Seung-hyun, but everyone called him TOP."

"Ohhh...yeah I've seen him around. He's a surgeon now."

"I know." I smiled.

"So... obviously you guys aren't together anymore, what happened?"

"Well...we hadn't been dating long. But he was my first love...at least I thought I loved him. And to be fair I think he thought the loved me too, but the pregnancy ruined everything."

"How so?"

"Well I was 17 and he was 21, he was half way through medical school and it was going to be a lot for him to give up." I shrugged. "So I told him not to quick school. I thought...at that time, that mom would have helped me. I knew we had money, so that the baby would never go without, and it would give him opportunity to finish medical school AND be a father."

"Did he break up with you because you got pregnant?"

"No, we stayed together for my entire pregnancy. In all honesty, we had a pretty good relationship. His family let me move in since I had nowhere to go and was carrying their grandchild."

"I'm glad you had somewhere to go." He said in a low voice.

My face fell a bit and I looked down. "Obviously I had to move in with them because I was very wrong about how mom was going to take the news."

"What did she say?" He asked really interested now. "I don't mean to make you relive it but...I just cant see the woman I remember kicking you out because of that."

"Neither did I." I replied honestly. "When I told her, I think she just didn't know how to handle it. I think she was angry about being alone, having to take care of the three of us, and now I had another child that was going to be here. I don't condone her behavior or actions, but I can appreciate how frustrating it must have been."

"So she just...told you to leave?"

I nodded. "She told me that I had to deal with the consequences of my irresponsibility. She gave me enough cash to handle myself for a short time, and wished me luck. And then she told me to never come back. That if I wanted to do adult things, I could do adult things out of her house, out of her family, and out of her life. She didn't want my bad decisions to rub off on you or Tae. So she said she would send me money to help with medical bills, and other little things; but I didn't want to agree to stay away from you and Taehyung. I agreed, lying, but I agreed at first. The first time I tried to contact you, was about a month after I left. She had given me a couple grand for medical stuff and so I had the money saved up. She caught me trying to come into the house, and cut me off completely. She told me if I ever tried to come back, that she would press charges and get get a restraining order over all of you."

Namjoon was staring at me intently, and I could see he started to breath heavily. He didn't say anything so I continued.

"I didn't want that to happen. As long as that didn't happen, I could continue to try to get in touch with you guys without getting caught." I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "But then I got sick. Really sick. I was about 7 months pregnant when Seung woke me up and there was blood all over the bed coming from between my legs. He took me to the hospital and it turned out to be a very very late miscarriage."

"Was it you falling ill that caused it?"

I nodded. "I had a really high fever, and we didn't really know how negatively it would impact my pregnancy. Neither of us thought it was necessary to go to the doctor because pregnant women get sick too. I feel stupid looking back now, I should have gone to the doctor."

"You couldn't have known."

"True." I nodded. "But when we were at the hospital they...they told me I lost it and I...I had to deliver the baby." I said slowly not knowing a nicer way to say it. "It was really hard to go through with that. But I managed and Seung had called mom and told her what happened and that I was asking for her. I don't remember that, but a lot was happening at once so it's possible. She wouldn't come. She claimed that she didn't have a daughter."

I saw a tear fall from the corner of his eye which make my breath hitch. "I'm so sorry, Noona." He whispered in a strained voice.

"It was hard."

"That was what she was talking about." he whispered to himself. After a moment he looked back up to me. "So you were at my graduation?"

I nodded with a smile. "And Tae's. I also think the speech you gave in Miami was abosluty amazing and inspiring. I was so proud to see you growing the way you were."

"How close did you get to contacting us?"

"I almost got to Taehyung once. But I chickened out. By the time I was able to dodge mom, it had been over 4 years. After that.... I stopped trying." I started to cry. "I'm so sorry...I shouldn't have stopped trying."

We sat there in silence for a while, only a few sniffles being heard. "So wait." he said after the silence. "What happened with Seung?"

"After I got out of the hospital, we talked and agreed we tried to convince ourselves we were in love because of the situation we were in. Maybe had none of that happened, we would have stayed together but who knows? We decided to break up. The loss of our...of our son...was hard not just on me but him and his family too. They let me stay for a short time so that my body could recover and thankfully I had enough money to rent out an attic apartment in someone's house, and when that money ran out I had my first publishing. I was able to get my own real apartment, and I just kept writing. I wanted to go to college. So I enrolled into online classes that I was eventually able to pay on my own. I never got a specific degree, I just wanted to be educated."

Namjoon nodded to me again. "Thank you for telling me all of this. It's...it's really hard to wrap my head around her doing that to anyone...let alone you."

"Listen." I said taking both of his hands and holding tightly. "Don't let my bad memories, and my bad experience taint your thoughts of her. She obviously wasn't a terrible person being sure that you and Tae knew the truth eventually. You don't have to change your opinion on the woman you knew." A few more tears escaped his eye and I let go of his hands taking his face in my hands. I wiped his tears with my thumb and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Dwelling on the past will only keep you in misery. We are moving forward and looking ahead towards healing and happiness. Just remember that."

He moved closer wrapping his arms around my lower back and pulling me in for a tight hug. "Okay." he mumbled into my neck. "Thank you, Noona."

I squeezed him a little tighter. And that is how our night ended.

___

The weekend after, Taehyung was a ball of energy. It was moments like this I was astonished that Yoongi was with him. But he just smiled at him in adoration, letting his boyfriend be happy and excited.

"What's going on?" I asked when I reached the bottom of the stairs leaning against the wall.

"NOONAAAAAAAAAA!" Tae yelled as he ran over to me. "Kookie and I got all high marks on our exams! That means an extra month of VACATION!"

I gave him a hug and laughed at his excitement. "That's awesome! good job! I'm so proud of you!

Just then Namjoon, Jimin, Jin, and Hoseok came home walking through the door. There was more excited Taehyung and as he told the boys that werent even all the way inside yet about his scores, I went over and sat by Yoongi.

"How do you handle that?" I giggled looking over to him.

He smirked looking back at me. "I know a few ways to put that energy to good use." he replied. "When I'm done, he's very docile, tired, and complacent."

He wiggled his eye brows making me laugh. "Okay that was too much information, I really didn't need to know.

We laughed together as the rest of them joined us in the living room, Taehyung still overly excited.

"Now that everyone is here, I want to run an idea by you all."

"Sure." Namjoon said, pulling Jimin to his lap.

Tae sat down between Yoongi and I as he continued. "Well exams are over now, and next week is Kookie's birthday. His parents aren't going to come back until graduation time and I don't want him to spend his birthday alone."

"Why don't you just have him come here?" Namjoon asked him.

"Well I want to throw a huge birthday party for him here. He helped me a lot with studying so I want to do it as a thank you, and for his birthday."

Everyone turned their head to look at me causing me to become confused. "What are you all looking at me for?"

"Well I don't think anyone here has a problem with that, but we wouldn't want to throw a huge house party if you would be uncomfortable."

I laughed. "I think I can survive a house party."

"YUSSSSSSSSS!" Taehyung cheered. "Jiminie you have to help me plan and decorate! Please?!"

Jimin laughed at Tae's enthusiasm. "Of course, I will! I love parties."

As the night went on, I listened to their planning of Kookie's birthday party. Little did I know, that this party was going to change my life.

Indefinitely.