I never thought I would have to sneak out of my own house through the front door.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve snuck out before. But every time that I did it, I went through my bedroom window and it was dark outside. Usually I was leaving to go see Terra or Simon or Henry to get away from Claudia and Cassidy, but it was definitely a different reason this time.

It was dusk, the sky just light enough that I would be able to see without a flashlight. I was completely dressed and ready for school, even though I normally wouldn’t have gotten up for another two hours. But I had to leave before anyone else could wake up.

I never realized how squeaky my front door was. I was glad that my dad didn’t have work that day, because he would have been waking up at any second if he did. But knowing my luck, this damn squeaky door would have woken everyone up anyway.

When the door was open enough that I could slide right out, I hurried my way outside and shut the door as quietly as I could have. After I made sure that it was closed and locked, I quickly sprinted down the lawn and toward the direction of Neverland.

I made sure to leave a note to everyone in the house saying that I was going to school early. I made up an excuse about having to retake a test or something, but I was pretty sure that the teachers at Neverland didn’t even offer retakes in the morning.

Even though I wanted to run through the hallways of the dorms, I made myself walk so I wouldn’t wake anyone up. I hurried my pace when I checked the time though, my grip on my backpack strap tightening until I got in front of the dorm that I used to know so well.

I banged on the door loudly to make sure it would wake her up. I hoped that this wouldn’t wake anyone else up, but at that moment I didn’t really care very much. I just had to talk to Chloe and I had to talk to her right then.

When she opened the door, she looked so pissed off that it was almost funny. When she saw that it was me, her angered died down a little. “Why are you here so early in the morning? Do you even know what time it is?”

“Sorry,” I apologized, walking into the dorm room without even getting permission to. I guess this room was still kind of mine, in a way. “I just had to talk to you as soon as possible.”

“About?” she asked, yawning and shutting the door behind me. I was way too antsy and squirrelly for this time in the morning, and Chloe definitely noticed as I awkwardly sat down on the coffee table.

“Well…” I started, swallowing because I didn’t know where to begin. “Jack and I made up last night.”

Her eyebrows rose in surprise, but then she gave me a suspicious look. “Please don’t tell me that this making up had anything to do with making out.”

I laughed nervously. “Hah, that’s exactly what Eli said.”

“Ivy.”

“Yes, we kissed,” I admitted, dropping my head into my hands and letting out a sigh. “But we didn’t get back together or anything.”

Chloe let out an overdramatic sigh of relief, placing a hand over her heart. “Oh, thank goodness.”

I rolled my eyes at her. “But that’s not what I’m here to tell you.”

She sat down on the bottom bunk now, the bed that used to be mine. It was weird, being back in this room after so long. It made me realize how much I missed it, and how things were when I lived in this room. Everything was so much less complicated then.

“What are you here to tell me then?” she asked.

“Eli and I met up after Jack and I reconciled,” I started, my hands shaking just thinking about it. “And we kissed. For a while.”

Chloe looked like she was going to fall over. “Are you being serious?”

I gulped. “Yeah, I am.”

“Wait, wait, wait a second,” she started now, and I knew she was going to start freaking out in typical Chloe fashion. “You didn’t… sleep with him, did you?”

My eyes nearly bulged right out of their sockets. “No, I didn’t! We just kissed, I swear!”

She let out another sigh. “Okay, thank goodness.”

“Chloe,” I grinned, rubbing my hands over my face now. “What am I supposed to do? I don’t even know how I feel about him. I snuck out of the house so I wouldn’t have to see him yet because I don’t know how to act around him! Are we together or are we going to act like it didn’t even happen? I don’t know what I’m supposed to do!”

“Do you like Eli, Ivy?” Chloe asked me with wide eyes, not even answering my question.

“I don’t know!” I nearly shouted, just wanting to scream. “I really don’t know!”

“Well,” Chloe started slowly, as if she was trying to think. “We have him in second period with us, and you sit right next to him. I don’t think you can just avoid him like you don’t even know each other when you guys are going to be so close. So maybe just deal with it then?”

I let out a groan. Obviously Chloe wasn’t going to help me out very much. But I wasn’t really expecting her to be able to help me with this problem very much.

“How about we hang out after school so you don’t have to see him then?” Chloe now suggested.

I smiled at her. “That sounds great.”

It really did. It would give me more time to think about what I was going to do, if I didn’t have to do anything during second period. There had to be a way I could get out of that class somehow… It shouldn’t have been that difficult.

When the school day started, I ignored every insult Courtney shot at me during first period, mostly because I couldn’t focus on anything at all. When she saw that I wasn’t even responding to her, she decided to give up and actually listen to the lesson.

But when second period rolled around, I couldn’t go inside the classroom. I got so nervous that I told Chloe to tell Mr. Pars that I felt sick and went to the nurse, which wasn’t exactly a lie. I did feel sick, I just didn’t go to the nurse like I should have.

I stood outside the classroom and leaned against a locker, trying to find the courage to go inside. I didn’t know what I was supposed to say to Eli after what had happened the night before. I was such a chicken that it was ridiculous.

“Ivy?” a voice suddenly asked, and I turned to see Simon staring at me in surprise. I looked around for a place to escape without having to run off, but the only place I saw was the classroom, and I definitely wasn’t going in there. “What are you doing out here?”

“What are you doing out here?” I shot back, not wanting to tell him my reason.

He held up a pass. “I had a dentist appointment. Now what about you?”

“I… uh…” was all I could say, because I honestly had no good reason to why I was standing outside my classroom looking like a complete lunatic.

I quickly turned around to run away, knowing that this was the only thing I really could do, but Simon stopped me by grabbing onto my arm before I could.

“Ivy!” he called out, and I stopped fighting him. “Will you please stop avoiding me?”

I gulped, ripping out of his grasp and fully turning toward him now. “What am I supposed to do after you said that you’ve been in love with me ever since we were kids? There’s nothing else I can do!”

I hated fighting. I always had. So I just avoided my problems, even though they would usually always come to me so I couldn’t avoid them any longer. That had happened with Jack, it was happening with Simon, and I was sure it was going to happen with Eli. It had happened at my old school. They forced me to fight, which landed me as the town’s tough, scary girl even though I was a complete chicken.

“I want to still be friends with you, Ivy,” Simon told me honestly, and I bit the inside of my lip as I waited for her to continue. “I love you. I do. There’s no point in even trying to deny it anymore. I’ve loved you ever since we were kids, and for a while I thought I was fine with just being your friend. But then you came to this school and you were telling us all about Jack and the rest of the Lost Boys. I realized that I wasn’t happy just being your friend.”

“Did you ever take what I felt into consideration?” I couldn’t help but ask, wiping at my eyes when I felt that they were wet. “Did you ever think about how I felt? You know me, Simon. If I had liked you, or loved you, I would have told you by now. You know I can’t hide my emotions for too long. Am I the reason that you’re here right now? You came to this school because you were in love with me and afraid you were going to lose me to a Lost Boy, right?”

Simon looked away from me. “You’re right. That’s exactly why I joined.”

I let out a sigh. “I should have known. How did you even get the money, anyways?”

“My grandma,” he answered with a shrug. “She’s always had a lot of money, and she’s willing to spend it on my siblings and me all the time. So much so that she already agreed to pay for Ebony when she gets to high school. She wants to go here, too.”

“I don’t understand why, since it’s a hellhole,” I muttered, but I didn’t know if Simon heard me or not.

“Please, Ivy,” Simon said now. “Can’t we just be friends again? I understand that you don’t feel the same way. I understand that you love Jack or Eli or whatever. I just want to be friends with you again. We were best friends.”

“I don’t love Eli,” I snapped, not even thinking twice about it.

The pleading look on Simon’s face didn’t change. “Please, Iyv. I want to be friends with you again.”

I stared at him for a moment and just thought. This boy had been my best friend since childhood. There was a time when he knew everything about me and I knew everything about him. To think that he had been in love with me this entire time…

“Fine,” I finally swallowed. “We can be friends again.”

He smiled, and I glanced down at the pass in his hands. If he didn’t go soon, he’d get in trouble for taking too long.

I told him this, and he quickly made his way off to class. I continued to stand outside my second period, deciding that I was just going to stand there and not go inside. It was the smartest thing that I could think of anyway.

At lunch, I made sure to have no eye contact with anyone from the Lost Boy table. I ended up skipping nearly every class I had before lunch, and I was surprised that I hadn’t gotten in trouble for it. I was sure that the teachers either thought I was sick or I was out because of something with one of the Lost Boys. Since they could get out whenever they wanted, I was sure that they could get anyone they wanted out of class as well…

I wasn’t hungry, so I didn’t even try to eat anything. I sat with Chloe and Simon for only a few minutes before making some excuse to let me leave without them coming with me.

When I got into the hallway, out of the dining hall, I let out a sigh. I was finally free, at least for the time being.

“Is there a reason that you’re avoiding me?”

At the sound of this voice, I nearly jumped twenty feet into the air before turning around to see that it wasn’t Eli, but Jack instead. I only stood there, breathing heavily as I stared at him.

“I’m not avoiding you,” I nearly panted. “I’m avoiding Eli.”

Jack blinked. “That seems like it would be hard to do, considering the fact that he lives in your house and all.”

“Yeah, well, I left early today,” I shrugged, as if it was no big deal, even though it really was.

“Ah. So that must be why Eli’s being extra bitchy today.”

“Must be.”

“Can I ask why you’re avoiding him?” he asked now, taking a step forward and crossing his arms over his chest. “I thought that you were just avoiding me because of everything we talked about last night. And because we kissed.”

I bit the inside of my lip, not knowing if I should tell him the reason I was avoiding Eli or not. I guess we were friends now, but I still thought that it was kind of weird to talk to your ex-boyfriend about your potential feelings for his best friend, who you had kissed the night before.

“Eli and I kissed last night,” I confessed, knowing I had nothing to lose by telling him. “I wouldn’t even call it a kiss. We pretty much just made out under a streetlight for nearly a half an hour before going back home and making out on the stairs for another hour.”

“Well, that would have been a sight to see for your family.”

“Which is why I’m glad that everyone was upstairs asleep.”

“But I’m surprised,” Jack said now, his head cocking to the side in observation. “You and Eli made out for a long time and he didn’t even try to get you into bed.”

My cheeks burned a bright red. “A--and just what is that supposed to m--mean?”

“It means that Eli isn’t the kind of guy that would just make out with a girl,” Jack answered, and for some reason this answer made me feel queasy. “Hell, I saw him take Courtney to bed after making out with her for only five minutes. You were making out with him for nearly two hours and he didn’t even try anything.”

My stomach dropped. “Eli and Courtney slept together?”

His eyebrows rose on his forehead. “You’re surprised?”

For some reason, this made me want to throw up. Just the thought of the two of them together made me absolutely sick to my stomach. It was obvious that they were together, in a way, but I never would have thought that they would have had sex together… I didn’t want to think that they were having sex together.

“We weren’t the only people that have had sex, Ivy,” Jack informed me, as if I somehow needed reminding. “Courtney and Eli have been together a lot longer than we have.”

Surprisingly, talking about this kind of stuff with Jack wasn’t as awkward as I thought it would be. I didn’t think I would have been able to talk about this kind of stuff with him, but it wasn’t hard at all. It was helping me see him less as a boyfriend and more of a girlfriend.

“I don’t want to think about that,” I finally said, swallowing as I tried to get the thought of Eli and Courtney together out of my head. “I have enough to think about already.”

“Well, do you want to know what I think?” Jack asked, and I didn’t really think that I did, but I nodded anyway. “I think you really like him, Ivy.”

I gulped. “Th--that’s absolutely ridiculous!”

Jack rolled his eyes. “You’re talking to the guy that you used to be in love with, Ivy. I know how you act when like someone.”

“Who said I wasn’t in love with you anymore?”

I bit the inside of my lip after I had blurted this out. I didn’t even mean to, but it was too late. It was already out there in the open, and there was nothing I could do to take it back in.

“Are you still in love with me, Ivy?” he asked, taking a step forward and pushing a piece of my hair behind my ear. “I told you last night that I’m still in love with you.”

“I… I don’t know,” I gulped, looking away from him. “I don’t know the answer to anything anymore.”

“Let’s get back together,” Jack suggested, and it caused my head to snap up at him in surprise. “Come on. You and me, back together again. You were happy with me, right? I was happy with you. We can do this, Ivy. We can get back together like nothing ever happened.”

“You love Emma,” I reminded him, even though he definitely didn’t need reminding. “You’ll always love Emma more than you could ever love me.”

He took a step forward, cupping my cheeks with his hands. “That can be changed.”

I took a step back. “Can it?”

He leaned forward without saying another word, pressing his lips to mine just like he had so many times before. I kissed him back, just out of a force of habit, but I wouldn’t be lying if I said it made me feel better about everything. Kissing him used to make me feel so much better about everything, and it was no different now.

But this time, it made me realize something important. This kiss made me realize that I really was over Jack, or at least I was getting to it. It also made me realize that the reason I was getting over Jack was because of the guy that I had been kissing the night before.

“Jack,” I gulped once we finally pulled away from each other. “We… we can’t get back together. You know we can’t.”

He sighed, looking away from me. “I know. I was just hoping that someday you would forgive me and we’d go back to how things were before. But I guess I was wrong.”

“But you were right about one thing,” I whispered, staring down at my feet now. “I… I do like Eli.”

Jack smiled sadly. “That’s what I thought.”

He took a step back now, turning back toward the dining hall and starting to make his way to it. He was about two yards away from me when I decided to stop him.

“Hey,” I called out, causing him to turn back toward me. I couldn’t help but smile sadly back at him. “I hope that Emma gives you a chance one day. You deserve it. You’re a great guy, and if she doesn’t see that, then she’s stupid and blind.”

Jack snorted. “She likes Tyler. You know that.”

“She has no chance with Tyler,” I blurted, biting down on my tongue hard after I realized what I had said. “It’s just, he told me that he didn’t like her that way and everything, so… yeah. She’s a great girl, and she’s really pretty, but Tyler just doesn’t like her. She deserves to have someone that will love her no matter what, like you.”

“Tyler must be crazy,” Jack sighed with a little laugh. “Or gay.”

I forced out a loud, nervous laugh, not knowing what else I was supposed to do. Jack was only joking, and yet I acted like an idiot and nearly let his secret out.

“I’m sure there’s a girl out there that Tyler really likes,” I excused now, not wanting Jack to think that I knew anything from that laugh.

Jack smirked. “Maybe it’s you.”

I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from forcing out another annoying laugh. “Yeah, right.”

“Why don’t you come back inside and sit with us?” Jack now suggested, cocking his head toward the dining hall. “You can talk to Eli and tell him that you avoiding him was just a huge misunderstanding and all.”

“No, I’m okay,” I denied, shaking my head and taking a step back away from him. “I’ll talk to him later at home. Right now I think I just have to be alone for a little while.”

Jack nodded and smiled. “Okay.”

And then he turned around and went back into the dining hall, leaving me all alone in the quiet hallway once again. I let out a sigh, making my way over to a staircase and sitting down on a stair, trying to think about when my life had become so complicated.

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All of you on Team Eli... I really don't see what you guys see. What do you see in him? I like Jack.

Plus, I feel like the song on the side is kind of perfect. Ivy has green eyes, it's sung by the guy who plays Jack... and what he's singing about just seems like an Ivy/Jack thing to me.

This may be the last time I update for a week and a half. I'm leaving for a yearly week-long family reunion to Lake Tahoe on Saturday, and I'm bringing my laptop, but that doesn't mean I'll be able to write very much. I was able to do it last year (you'll know if you read There's a Thin Line Between Love and Hate or It's What You Do to Me) but this year could be different. Last year I stayed in my room so I didn't have to deal with my family. This year... might be the same, might not.

Please COMMENT, VOTE, and FAN! :)