When I said that making the movie with Eugenie was going to be the death of me, hindi nga ako nagkamali.

It was like being in a rollercoaster.

Hindi naman ang pelikula ang problema dahil I solved that problem in the beginning when I asked for a rewrite.

Wala din akong masabi sa mga crew ko dahil sila ang lagi kong katrabaho at sanay na sila sa style ko.

My problem was Eugenie.

The funny thing was, it had nothing to do with her being an actress.

It had everything to do with her relationship with Sole.

I really thought that after the conversation at the trailer, mababawasan ng konti ang aberya sa shooting.

Pero nagkamali ako.

The more na nagiging close sila, the more na nakikilala nila ang isa't-isa, lalo ding dumadami ang issues.

Now, I pride myself with being patient.

But during the last shooting day, doon na ako bumigay.

It was supposed to be a breeze dahil it was the scene where Agent Alice finally graduates as a trainee in the spy organization.

Simple lang ang scene.

She was going up the stage to accept her diploma.

The moment she came in late should have been a foreshadowing.

Isang oras kaming naghintay sa kanya.

Okay lang sana kung pagdating niya, nagsorry siya.

But there was none of that.

I asked her assistant kung bakit late ang boss niya.

Tinanghali daw ng gising.

Of course hindi lang naman basta-basta tinatanghali ng gising.

There is a reason why she woke up late.

The assistant knew her answer wasn't satisfactory.

I was waiting for her to elaborate.

Atubili siyang magconfess dahil nakatingin sa salamin si Eugenie and we were within her line of sight.

"If you don't tell me why, I will make it really hard for your boss to find employment at pati ikaw, madadamay." Banta ko sa kawawang assistant.

"Nag-away po kasi sila ni Mam Sole. Magdamag pong nag-inom si Mam Eugenie."

Tumango ako at pinaalis ko na siya.

Because we wasted so much time already, pinagpaliban ko ang pakikipag-usap kay Eugenie.

Tinuloy namin ang shooting.

Buti na lang at hindi siya bangag.

I didn't know how she did it or kung anong magic formula ang ininom niya but we finished the scene in two takes.

Dahil last day ng shooting, we had to do the usual routine.

Nagpasalamat ako sa lahat ng crew for their hard work for the last ten months.

There was the mandatory picture taking, eating, hugs and handshakes.

Eugenie was congenial to everyone.

Nakipagkuwentuhan siya, nagpapicture kasama ng mga crew.

But when I saw her about to leave the studio, I ran after her.

"Can we talk?" Napatingin sa akin ang apat na tao na staff niya.

"Oui."

Sumunod siya sa office ko.

I closed the door behind me at pinaupo ko siya.

"Is everything okay, le directeur?" Kahit ilang beses ko ng sinabi sa kanya na tawagin akong Kyle, ito na talaga ang tumatak sa isip niya.

I stopped correcting her after the fourth try.

"This has got to be the hardest movie I ever made." I sat across from her.

When she opened her mouth to ask why, I held my palm up.

"Don't get me wrong. You work hard for this movie. You showed to me and to the rest of the crew that you are Agent Alice. But do you want to know what made this movie so hard to do?"

She nodded.

"You being in love was the biggest headache I have to deal with."

"Eugenie, I am a director. I am not a fucking psychiatrist."

"I know that."

"You knew? Then why can't you put your personal issues aside? Why do you have to be late for the last shooting day? Why do you have to make us all wait like our time doesn't matter? Why, Eugenie?"

"Because it's you, le directeur." Her expression was angry.

"C'est toi is the reason why Sole and I always fight."

"What do I have to do with it?" I felt as if someone switched on the spotlight and focused it on me.

"Elle t'aime toujours."

"English only please."

"She still loves you."

I was dumbfounded.

"Do you know how hard it is for me to come here and pretend that I don't know it? To see your face everyday and remember how during the very first time I made love to her, your name escaped her lips? I thought I heard wrong. But then it happened the second time. I want to punch you in the face, le directeur, but I didn't do any of that. Just like you, I care for this movie. I poured my blood, sweat and tears because I love what I do. I love being a celebrity because it gives me purpose to entertain people. If I was an ass during the filming, it had nothing to do with me being unprofessional. It was because I am suffering from a broken heart."

I slumped on the chair.

This has got to be a joke. Right?

"Eugenie, I had no idea."

"How would you know? That's what hurts the most. I know you're happy with Maria. I see it in your eyes when you see her. I hear it in your voice when you talk to her. You are happy with someone else. I want to be happy with Sole but c'est impossible." She opened her purse and took out a pack of Dunhill cigarettes.

She lit a stick and took a drag before speaking.

"When I see you, le directeur, it takes a lot from me to not get mad at you. Mon coeur est brise. I suffer and I have to keep it to myself when I'm here. But what can I do? I have a contract to fulfill. I am an actress. I have to smile when the only thing I wanted was to cry. I cannot tell you then but now that we're done filming, I can let you know." She took another drag then let the cigarette burn, the burned ash dangling from the tip.

"I'm sorry I was late today."

I wasn't interested in knowing why but she spoke again.

"I broke up with her. It's over between us. I drank till I passed out because I really love her, le directeur."

A tear fell slowly.

I pulled a tissue and gave it to her.

Eugenie gently dabbed her cheek.

Then she started laughing and crying at the same time.

"Je suis un idiot." Her shoulders shook.

Whether it was from mirth or pain, I couldn't tell.

"I should have known it was a bad idea to be with her but I followed my heart. Sonny, my dear manager Sonny, told me not to get too serious. That Sole hasn't healed from her heartbreak. It was a mistake to fall in love, he said. I didn't listen. I was enchanted with Sole. My beau papillon." She laughed and shook her head at the same time.

It was followed by heavy crying.

I reached for the whole box of tissue and gave it to her.

"Eugenie, I don't know what to say."

She blew on the tissue and tossed it on the floor.

"You don't have to say anything. But you don't have to worry about me being late or unprofessional. I left Sole and I am going to focus on my career." After saying that, she sat up straight.

Pulling a tissue, she dabbed under her eyes and her nose.

Eugenie inhaled, exhaled and shook her head.

"I will be okay. I'm French. I can handle this." She smiled and despite what went on, she made it believable.

"Before I go, I want to thank you, Kyle." The mention of my name was surprising.

"You took care of me. You revise the script and made it better. You did not allow me to be exploited. You truly are a good person. I understand why Sole was having a hard time getting over you." She picked up her purse and stood up.

When she left, I sank on the chair wondering what the hell just happened.