Mommy Chato was furious.

Pinatawag niya ako sa mansion when she learned of what I did or did not do.

But her anger and fervent pleas could not make me change my mind.

"Why don't you go on a vacation? Charged it to RGF, I don't care." She suggested, waving the stick of the lighted Marlboro Red she favors.

Her silver hair was perfectly coiffed at kahit ako lang naman ang kausap niya, she was impeccably dressed in designer cream silk shirt and pants.

We were at her study and I'm rarely in this room dahil she always entertains at her sitting room kapag pinapapunta niya ako sa bahay nila.

There were four heavy bookcases on the walls, each filled with leather hardbound books.

The room smelled of cigarettes and leather.

She is a heavy smoker.

Ang sabi niya dati, people have been telling her to quit.

So far, no one has been successful.

"Mommy, I don't need a vacation."

Tumaas ang kilay niya.

"What do you want?" She moved her head forward.

"Gusto mong taasan ko ang talent fee mo? Tell me and I'll give it to you. Kahit magkano pa iyan, name it." She took a long drag on her cigarette.

I shook my head.

"You know it was never about the money. If I have to make a movie for free, gagawin ko."

"Oo nga pala. You were born into showbiz royalty." Her sarcasm wasn't lost on me.

Both of us turned silent for a while.

When she spoke, mahinahon na ulit ang tono niya.

"Kyle, may kinalaman na naman ba ito sa passion project mo?" Pinatong niya ang sigarilyo sa dolphin-shaped crystal ash tray.

"No." I lied.

"I've known you since you were little. Don't lie to me."

Sumandal ako sa oak chair.

"I need a break."

"A break from what?" Sigaw niya.

"You are at the peak of your career and you are only thirty years old. That makes you one of the youngest directors in showbiz who has a stellar record of blockbuster movies in her resume. Haven't you heard of the saying strike while the iron is hot?"

"I have."

"Then why are you wasting this opportunity?"

"I'm not wasting anything."

"Then what exactly are you doing?"

"I want to step away from the camera for a while."

"Why would you do that?"

"Dahil pagod na ako." There I said it.

"Pagod ka na o sawa ka na sa mga pelikulang ginagawa mo?"

I met her hard stare.

"Kyle, I'm old. I know you are not being completely honest with me." Sumandal siya sa leather swivel chair and looked away.

"I still remember the day after you graduated from film school sa UCLA."

"Nasa garden tayo and it was a bright summer day. Your eyes were as bright at the sun while you talk of making movies. When it comes to making movies, you used to talk a lot back then. No holds-barred ang pagsasalita mo. You mentioned how you wanted to make movies with lesbians and gay people at the forefront. I held back from saying anything dahil I saw how alive you were. I also noticed na habang tumatagal, you were slowly withdrawing. Hindi na ikaw iyong passionate person na kausap ko dati sa garden. The fire in your eyes have gone out. Ngayon, ni hindi mo maamin sa akin na the real reason why you want to take a break is because you still want to pursue that project of yours."

"Dahil alam ko na it's not what you want to hear."

"How do you know that?"

"Mommy, how many times have I asked you to allow me to make just one single movie about lesbians?"

"Countless times."

"Pumayag ka ba?"

"No."

"Then why are you asking me kung bakit ako nagsisinungaling sa'yo?"

"Dahil gusto kong malaman mo na kahit hindi ako agree sa desisyon mo, I would rather you tell me the truth."

She reached across the desk at pinatong ang kamay niya sa kamay ko.

"Kyle, para na kitang anak. Dahil I treat you like one, there's always the desire to protect you. Hindi naman ako oblivious sa pagbabago ng panahon. Alam ko na there is progress going on. Slow but it's still progress tulad ng sabi nila. Pero ayokong masira ang career that you chose to build not by banking on the Obregon legacy but by doing it yourself. Kung buhay pa si Miguel, I'm sure he would agree with me on this one dahil he knows I'm coming from a place of love."

"I know that." Pinisil ko ang kamay niya.

"Let me make mistakes. Allow me to pick up the pieces of every wrong decision I made. Let me live my life the way I want."

Isang mahaba at frustrated na buntong-hininga ang pinakawalan niya.

"Alam na ba ni Rogelio ang balak mo?"

The mention of my dad's name cause the bile in my stomach to rise to my throat.

I had the urge to run to the bathroom.

"Hindi pa po. I would appreciate it if you don't tell him anything."

"I won't. This is entirely up to you. But you know how he is so you'd better be ready."

"I was born ready." For the first time, I smiled.

Ngumiti din si Mommy and I knew that smile meant we're okay.