Chapter 56.1 - Aster
Wispy dreams assail me—dying soldiers, a glowing staff, black-robed assassins, the marriage... Mostly, though, I just sleep.
The sleep and dreams suddenly fall away into the very real sense that someone is in my room, and I snap awake. Three figures hover to the side of me, and I jerk back in bed, raising my powderless hand to cast. One of them shoots to their feet.
"Aster."
I blink, trying to focus my groggy eyes. "Riszev." Relief courses through me, and I rest against the pillows. Behind her stands an attentive Leavi, and at the foot of the bed is Ollem. Carefully, I push up, sitting against the headboard. My eyes flick between them.
Riszev glances at Leavi and the serv—at the two servants. "You may leave. Ollem, tell the doctor that your master is awake."
Leavi's eyes flick over me, but she inclines her head and goes. Ollem bows and backs out, and Riszev closes the door behind them.
My questioning gaze comes to rest on the Princesse Consort as she settles back into the armchair that's in here for some reason.
"Were you—" I shift. "Were you all just watching me sleep?"
She shakes her head. "Waiting to see if you would wake."
Unsettled, I adjust to sit facing her, on the edge of the bed. "How long have I been out?" And what's happened in the meantime?
"A day."
There are a thousand things to do. I shove up, then stumble. Stupid.
Riszev stands to take my shoulders. "Sit."
"No, I—"
She gently pushes me down. It doesn't take much.
"Riszev, I need to talk to Reyan. The wall—and—let me go." I stare at her, sounding like a desperate child, but we're in the middle of a disaster, and I slept for a whole day.
"We still have two days left. Or so your wizard says?"
I stare at her. I didn't think my wizards—she must mean Solus. "Yes, but we need to figure out what to do when that time comes. Obviously our previous strategy wasn't good enough, and your people aren't going to arrive in time, Riszev."
Softly, she says, "I know." She sits down beside me, and I'm struck by how familiar she acts with me. Something in me longs to cringe away, but something else—quieter, more complex—forces me to stay still. Her eyes flick gently over my face. It should be an investor's apprehension, a manager's assessment, searching for damaged goods. Instead, her gaze reminds me of nights as a child when I practiced past my limits, striving to please Agraund, and Jeanna found me, weak and bloody-nosed, to tuck me back into bed.
I don't want this woman's concern or affection. I look away. "I need to go."
"Aster." My eyes stay fixed on the glow crystals in the wall and their mockery of starlight. They may shine, but there is no substance to them. They are not real.
Riszev draws away and rises, placing her hands on the back of the armchair. "I have something for you."
I tense. The only thing I want from her is two weeks away from N'veauvia.
She shifts, and I realize I probably was supposed to ask her what it was.
"There is a way we might still defeat the Kadranians."
My head snaps up. Her dark eyes are somber, but she just nods, as if reassuring me of her words.
"What is it?"
"The tunnel you led my party through. A group of us will take that same path and sneak behind their lines."
"We already tried attacking them from behind. Twice." I pause. "Both were massacres."
"But this will be targeted. Small. We cannot kill their whole force, but we can kill the people who lead them."
My eyes narrow. "And this is your plan?"
"It is now."
I lean forward. "Who have you been talking to?"
"My servant. But why does it matter who the plan comes from if it is sound?"
My arms cross. "I've heard this before, from someone I don't trust."
"Do you have another plan to save us in less than two sunsets?" Her eyes pin me.
My jaw clenches. Two weeks ago, I wouldn't have considered it, but now, her words spread through my mind like poison. Swallow this venom and the snake dies. Guilt rattles in my chest. Perhaps the real reason I don't like the plan is that I don't want to execute the plan. "I still think they'll be able to rally together to finish what they've started. Someone will rise to power. That's how these things work."
"Perhaps. But war is full of choices. If we make this one, we take away one of theirs. And if we do not..." She leans against the chair, hair slipping around her shoulders. "I do not know how many you have left."
I wonder in the Liaetta Theater Fire if Agraund's family saw a way out through the smoke and ruins. Did they struggle past the flames, or did they just huddle together as the building collapsed around them?
We could still escape. We could evacuate our castle. The shield buys us enough time to do that.
But I will not abandon my country to save my life or those savages', and I will not let all our men's deaths be in vain. Screams from the battlefront echo in my mind, and my resolve hardens like a steel blade. It can hardly be murder if the things you end the existences of are animals. But even once they're dead—
"That's not enough."
"It's all we have, Aster."
I shake my head. "No, it isn't. It isn't enough just to take out their leaders. But if we could bring what's left of our force with us—" I sit straighter. Despite myself, hope trembles in my chest. "This might actually work."
"What?" Candlelight shines on the excitement in her eyes.
I stand. "I need to talk to the Captain."
She pushes my shoulders down again. "Sit. I will bring him here."
I push her hands away. "Stop. I can find my brother."
"I did not say you could not. But you have been sick, and there is no reason for you to. Sit. I will bring him." Her sharp gaze dares me to disagree.
I stare back as strongly. "And I have slept all day." I'm not going to be ordered about on such small freedoms, and certainly not in my homeland.
I step away, and she catches my hand. "Please, Aster." Her voice is shockingly gentle, and I turn to find worried eyes watching me. "Please."
I frown. She looks truly upset.
Stars. I'm fooling myself to think I've tricked anybody. She knows I'm not okay, and so does anyone else that's been paying attention. If she won't let me walk castle halls, she certainly won't condone me doing what else needs done. I feel like a liar; I am a liar, but in this moment, a liar is what my country needs.
My face softens, and I wrap my fingers around her hand. "I know I look awful. I was worn out from battle, from early mornings and late nights, and from casting more than I probably should have." Concern tightens her lips, but I continue. "But I'm rested now, and as much as I regret spending so much time on sleep, it's done me well. My mind is sharper, my body stronger. Stumbling when I stood was chance. I stand easily enough now." I gesture at myself, glad my hands are steady. "I'm well."
She regards me, and under her discerning gaze, I fear some small detail will betray me. Lips twisting, she says, "My mother will like you." She steps back, releasing my hand. "Will we go talk to your brother?"
I pause. I suppose it is at least partially her plan; she should be there when it's proposed. I nod, turning from the room.
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