Chapter 10

Since her flight from the house, (Your name) had taken up residence in the hay loft of the barn located in relative close vicinity to the mansion, but far enough away she felt she could allow tears to flow from her eyes. Not that it made a difference no matter how hard she tried ( Your name) couldn't stop. She couldn't help it she was all alone. Not necessarily in the Physical sense but in the emotional one. She didn't have a shoulder cry on (one she wanted to accept anyway) and that on top of everything else that had taken place over the past month almost five years ago to date her father passed away. Needless to say (Your name) was emotionally exhausted. It wasn't anything new. Since she lost her father the Christmas season just wasn't as jolly as it used to be and was often full of nothing but heartache and this whole situation was just the icing on the cake.

She had tried so hard to tough it out, but one can only bottle up emotions like that for so long before breaking. If she were honest with herself all she wanted was someone to hold her, but she would never admit to something like that. (Your name) had an image to keep up after all. But even still despite all her efforts on the torrents came, part out of frustration and the other out of sadness. She had thought that Lutz was finally becoming a semi-decent human, but he couldn't even comprehend that she wanted to be home with her family for Christmas, Of course she hadn't truly expected him to but still...He'd been so kind the past few weeks. He was still a total pervert and a jerk but still he had changed a lot since they had first met or at least she thought he had. But she had been wrong he was still the same insensitive jerk he had always been and always would be. 'He's such a Jerk!' Thought (your name) ' How can you go from being so nice one minute to being such a donkey's hindquarters the next?!'

However, ( your name) had to admit even if he was still himself Lutz had really changed a lot since she had first met him or at least his attitude toward her had changed a bit. He used to just come up and mess with her, but now.... They had small conversations and at times actually had a good time together. He even seemed to care about her. 'Maybe I'm reading too much into all of this' She thought as she recalled back back a few weeks ago when she had been dozing; not entirely asleep but not awake enough to actually move; on the coach. She hadn't meant to of course. She had only intended to rest her eyes for a moment, but as that usually goes she had fallen asleep and in the bouts of wakefulness had heard Lutz as he walked in the door her eyes barely able to discern his chapped lips and bright blistered red cheeks from the wind as he entered the apartment. She could remember the sound of his boots against the wooden floors as he made his way over to her and picked her up and carefully carried her to her room and laid her on the bed. Covered her with his trench coat and planted a soft kiss on her forehead before leaving her room and muttering a soft "Good night Katzchen" as he left.

(Your name) hated to admit it but she loved that side of him; the one he hardly ever showed. It was almost as if Lutz himself were but a mere facet of who he was as a whole. There were times when he wasn't lazy or openly perverted and actually achieved a serious no nonsense stature. There were also times when he was simply sweet. But even though those times were far and few between it gave a little more depth to who Lutz was and why he is the way he is but it still didn't give him an excuse to pry. 'Or maybe it did. He was probably just trying to be nice and I over reacted' thought ( your name ) as she wiped her tears away with a small laugh 'He probably thought my dad's dog tags belonged to my nonexsistant boyfriend'

" Katzchen?!" called Lutz " are you in here?!" (your name ) didn't answer as she listened to him mutter about being stupid and so on. Not knowing that ( your name ) was listening to the entire transaction until he finally found his way to the hay loft. "Oh...there you are" he said as he came and sat beside her.

"Do you wanna go first or should I?" asked (your name)

"Nein...but I guess I probably should...." He began looking up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry for yelling at you and for whatever else I did...."

"Diddo" replied ( Your name ).

"Heh" he smiled "You are so strange sometimes Katze"

"You're not exactly normal either you know" pouted ( Your name)

"Never said I was" he replied with a smirk as he put his arm around her.

"Wipe that smug look off your face before I hit you" she replied with a pout, but for once she didn't shy away. She never let him do this she hardly even let him near her if she could help it.

"Katzchen?" he asked

" Ja?" she asked

" Are you alright?"

"Not really..." she admitted a small frown finding it's way to her lips.

" What's wrong?" he asked

" It's not important" she replied

" Katzchen." He said firmly.

"It's not something I like to talk about." She replied

"Are you really that homesick?" he asked a frown pulling at his features

"It's not just that.....just let it go please...."

"Alright" he sighed running a hand through his hair. "lets make a deal then."

"What do you mean?" she asked

"I'll tell you a secret if you tell me a secret and we have to tell the truth no matter what it is. Sound fair?" he asked

"Yeah it's fair" she replied

"Alright ask me anything you want." He replied

( your name) thought about this for a while about all the things that she questioned and one thing came to mind. "Why does Rodrick call you Ludwig sometimes?" asked ( your name )

"Way to start off Katzchen" he sighed rubbing the back of his neck " Its complicated and not something I can explain in other way than he knows I don't like being called by 'that' name. I go by Lutz nothing more nothing less."

"Did you change your name or something?" she asked

"Ah ah Katze its my turn" he replied with a smirk

"Oh..... right" she replied

"Do you actually have a boyfriend back in America?" he asked

"Depends what you call a "Boy friend"" she replied lips pursed as she looked away from him.

"I'll take that as a no" he chuckled inwardly praising God in heaven above.

"Don't make assumptions" she pouted "but since its my turn why do you care?"

"Uh well I was just curious if those were his dog tags and" replied Lutz slightly flustered as he averted his violet eyes refusing to make eye contact with (Your name ) " speaking of which whose dog tags were those anyway?"

"My Dad's" she replied a sad look contorting her feature into a frown.

"What's " he started but he stopped "Oh......" God he was an idiot why couldn't he just leave it alone! "I'm so sorry Katzechen......I-I didn't know I mean....I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked." He said pulling her close wrapping her in a hug which she didn't refuse. She simply allowed the blonde man to pull her into his lap and hold her as she cried into his chest all the while Lutz rubbed her back trying to be as comforting as a man of his caliber could be. " If it makes you feel any better katze I lost my Mutter when I was young." he said trying to help her feel better.

" How is that supposed to make me feel better?!" she asked choking back a sob.

" It's not" he replied a caring tone in his voice. "I.....I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone Katze. Losing people is always hard" he said sadly " Especially when you're close to them.....:I just want you to know that I'm here for you" he said in an attempt to calm her. And eventually (Your name) calmed down enough for Lutz to let her go so she could wipe her tears away. " Th-this doesn't mean we-we're friends yanno" she said trying to be tough.

" I wouldn't dream of it" he replied with a (poop) eating grin as he scoop up (your name) into his arms.

"Wh-what are you doing?!" exclaimed (your name)

" Just relax Katze" he replied " I'm not going to do anything to you just close your eyes and act like you're sleeping"

"Why?"

"Well, crying like a baby isn't exactly a good way to keep up that tough persona you've been trying to keep up all this time" he replied

"Oh" she replied as light blush dusted her cheeks make Lutz's heart flutter slightly as he carried her down from the hay loft and up to their shared bed room and laid her on the bed.

"Try und get some rest alright Katze?" he asked

"Alright" she replied " oh und Lutz..."

" Ja?" he asked

"Thanks for ya know...." She replied standing up and giving him a hug

"It was no problem Katzechen" he replied a smile gracing his features as he hugged her back. However, the moment wouldn't last as (your name) felt him pinch her butt.

"Sometimes" She said "I really hate you."

" Ja I know" he replied that same grin adorning his features as ( your name) brought the thunder down upon his head courtesy of Elizabeta's frying pan.