1 year, 9 months ago

Ayngel wasn't sure what she was doing wrong.

She was trying, alright? She paid the bills, she did well in school, she had gotten her driver's license the year before. She was the perfect daughter, the perfect sister, the perfect everything!

So why was she in this situation?

"Get out of my house!" Her mother screamed from her doorway as a freshly eighteen-year-old Ayngel shoved clothes in her backpack, exhaustion wiped away and replaced with despair. She didn't have time to grab anything else as her mother ushered her to the door, practically shoving her to the ground and locking the front door. Ayngel stood there speechless, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes.

"Ayngel?" She turned her head, seeing her sister's worried eyes. "Where are you going?" Ayngel tried to smile, kneeling to her level. "I have to go away for a while, alright? But I'll be back, I promise." "But where are you going?" Aluna said, raising her eyebrows. Ayngel sighed, twisting her fingers. "I'm going to Auntie Arianna's, alright? I'll be okay." It was a small lie. Her mother hated her aunt, and did everything she could to keep her away from the family. The only reason she knew her name was from her parent's screaming matches.

"Oh," Aluna nodded, oddly serious for an eight-year-old. "When are you coming back?" Ayngel blinked back tears as she smiled. "I don't know. But I will. You'll take care of Aldoro for me, right?" "Of course!" She puffed up her chest. "I'll protect him from all the monsters!" Ayngel laughed, hugging her tight to avoid her seeing the tears welling up. "I know you will. You be good for Momma, okay?" "Okay!" She said cheerfully, beaming as her eyes lit up. "Here, you can have this!"

She reached up, unclasping the silver chain around her neck and pressing it into Ayngel's palm. Ayngel stared at the little purple allium charm, making it very hard to hold back her tears. "Thank you Luna." She tucked it in her pocket, swallowing as she pulled Aluna back into her arms. She giggled, squirming. "You're welcome silly! Besides, you'll come back and we can have matching ones!" "Yeah... of course." Ayngel straightened up, faking a smile. "Now, Momma's probably worried about you. You better go see her." "Bye Angie!" Aluna skipped up the steps, her older sister watching the door slam behind her before her face fell.

-

"I got a spark in me!"

Magic's high notes bounced off the walls as the drums wailed behind her, Soup adding a little twirl to her excited jumping. Bek's grin was wide and bright, and Krow even managed a toothy smile as Magic belted. "Hands up if you can see! And you're a part of me, hands up if you're with me!"

As for Ayngel? Ayngel was fucking exhausted.

Her head felt like a thousand bricks stacked on her neck as she bowed her head and her fingers barely kept with the beat. Everything felt hot and sticky in the humid weather, her sweater clinging to her skin uncomfortably, and it was all so loud.

"Now til eternity, hands up if you believe!" The guitar grated on her ears, the drum bangs ringing through her mind as Magic's usually soothing voice somehow made her want to hide away and scream simultaneously. Ayngel's movements were sluggish, slow and stiff as her joints ached.

"Been so long, now we're finally free-!" Ayngel strayed off the beat, fingers lagging on the keyboard. The last few notes died out as her friends turned to her with matching expressions of concern and frustration. "Ayngel, what the fuck is your damage today?" Krow scowled, voice harsh and echoing. Magic jabbed it in the gut with a frown, "Leave her alone Krow. She's probably just tired." "Ayngel?" Bek frowned. "Are you okay? You look like a ghost."

"Um," Everything felt slow and foggy as Ayngel slid off her seat. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Just... tired, yeah." "You just said yeah three times in one sentence." Soup raised an eyebrow, stepping towards her. "Are you sure you're alright, you don't look well-" Ayngel violently flinched away from the hand on her shoulder, stumbling back as her vision spun. Soup's face fell. "Ayngel, what's wrong?"

"I-I'm fine." Ayngel staggered back, hitting the wall. Her legs were wobbly, her vision blurry and hazy as their worried faces swam in front of her. "I just..." "Ayngel, holy shit-!" She slumped over and slid to the floor, panicked voices becoming muffled and everything going dark.

-

Ayngel felt like she was underwater.

Everything was foggy and muffled, from her vision to the voices around her. As she came to, she could hear the concerned whispers around her. There was a blanket over and a pillow under her head, her favourite yellow sweater and ballet flats missing and leaving her in her black tank top and skirt. She whined and pulled the blanket over her head, squirming and sweaty.

"Ayngel?" Someone gently pulled the blanket back, Ayngel opening one eye to see Magic's worried eyes. A relieved smile broke over their face. "Hey, Angie." "Not my name." She grumbled, curling up on what she could now tell was the old couch in the garage.

"Well you're feeling better." Bek called over the upstairs railing, the bite in her words absent. Soup sat on the edge of the couch as Ayngel sat up, poking her head out of the blanket as she shivered. "How are you feeling?" "Fine." "Oh, do not give us that." Krow groaned, its voice coming from upstairs. "You just fucking passed out, don't even try it." Ayngel curled her arms around her knees and frowned. "But I feel fine."

"You have a fever." Soup continued, popping off the cap of a Tylenol bottle. "101, which is definitely lower than expected but still not good. You should be fine in a few days. In the meantime," She dropped two pills in a glass of water, handing it to Ayngel with a threatening tone to her voice. "Swallow both of them, c'mon." Ayngel hesitated before raising the glass to her lips and swallowing both pills with a gag. "There we go, that should kick in soon and make you feel a little better." Soup said, getting up to put away the cups. Ayngel whimpered, tugging the blanket back over herself as she trembled.

Her entire body ached, sore and gross and sickly, and she was being such a burden to the only people who had ever shown her care in all of her 18 years, and everything was still fucking blurry.

She was just so tired of everything.

"Oh, Ayngel," Magic sighed, sitting on the couch and pulling Ayngel closer. She buried her head in their shoulder, tears- when had she started crying?- silently streaming down her face. Magic carded their fingers through her hair, gently brushing her sweat-soaked bangs off her forehead as Ayngel turned into a mess of tears and fabric. "I know it hurts, you'll be okay." "I'm sorry," Her voice was tiny and weak as she hiccuped. "I'm just being a stupid burden and a mess, but everything hurts and I'm so tired and I just want it to stop."

"Hey, you are not a burden." Magic pulled the blanket tight around her before tugging her closer. "Don't ever think of yourself as one. This is simply us taking care of you, after all the times you cared for us." Ayngel sniffled, curling into their side and tucking her legs to her chest. Magic's sweater was soft, the smell of bubblegum and sour cherries and slushies that stain their tongue all sorts of colours warping around her like a shield. "And it will stop. You just have to rest for a few days, and then you'll be A-Okay." Ayngel hesitated before she nodded.

"Found 'em!" Krow called, tossing a pile of blankets and pillows off the loft before taking the ladder two steps at a time. Bek took her time, holding the old, starting-to-fall-apart laptop she used for gigs. "Soup taught me how to set up Netflix," She explained to Ayngel's confused expression. "You get to pick." "You don't have to-" "Ayngel if you finish that sentence I'm going to slit your throat." Krow's muffled threat came from a pile of pillows falling inwards. Soup, having returned from the kitchen, lifted a pillow for it to poke its head out. "As long as you don't pick a rom-com. Those are stupid." "So you want to rewatch 13 Going On 30." Ayngel nodded solemnly. "Got it." "Ayngel, I swear to god-"

It chucked a pillow at her head that she dodged, snickering as it hit Magic in the face. They threw it back, and the two continued throwing various pillows and blankets at each other. Soup took Magic's place on the couch and Bek sat on her other side, clicking the keyboard a few times until the opening credits started to play. The audio was tinny, the shouts of her two friends still grating on her ears, but as Ayngel leaned her head on Bek's shoulder, she couldn't bring herself to care.