II. BELONGING

Normalcy was not something one could generalise.

'For Go Yoo Han who has face blindness,
And I, who is a Mono,
Our lives become as normal as others, — together.

The grey world I see
Now embodied excitement the moment I see colours again.'

Unlike before, I looked forward to going to school.
I looked forward to see Yoo Han.
I looked forward to the colours he would be teaching me today.
Most importantly, I looked forward to spending every minute with him...

— Which was good and all.

Until one day after school he said that we were going to his place instead of our usual haunts.
While his argument was that he was going to make good his promise to show me the Lazurite he mentioned before, — all of a sudden, my former rationale didn't seem so convincing anymore!

From the time we've known each other, I have never once set foot anywhere within the vicinity of his neighbourhood; let alone his house!
We have been together everywhere; — the school, libraries, parks, cinema, museums...
Heck! We spent so much time at my place, that some times I forget that he lived elsewhere in the evenings.

But his house?
Never.

— Until now.

Yoo Han literally manhandled me all the way to his house.
So caught up in my feeble attempts to debate the demerits of this unpremeditated visit, — to which he paid absolutely no heed of, — I hardly knew where we were going;
Until he came to a stop before a monumental gate within the community of the affluent in Seoul.

With the finance world, the political world, and the military world, — all within one household;
— Why did I think that it would be any less than the most coveted address in the illustrious Hamnan-dong, UN Village?

If Yoo Han saw the slack of my jaw, he politely kept his snickers to himself.

The gates threw wide open the very moment he stood before it. No door bells rung, no keys needed to unlock; it was as though his very presence was key itself to open.

He led the way up the winding driveway that was splendidly framed by a carefully manicured garden of variegated trees and plants.
I dreaded to think what the actual house would look like, if the outlook was this impressive.

And inwardly I scoffed derisively, at how right I was.
With every step forward, brought us closer to the imposing mansion hidden in the lush greenery.

— Which was impossibly huge!

Awe-stricken and all as we approached the front door, —
"Go Yoo Han... Do you ever get lost in your house...?"
I didn't know what possessed me to ask such a thoughtless question.

Casually having his thumb scanned on the door handle, he turned to toss me a mildly offended look, "I have prosopagnosia, not topograhagnosia..."

As the locks clicked open, he conceitedly threw open the pair of colossal mahogany doors to a foyer of equal grandeur. When he realised that I was too busy being awestruck, Yoo Han took my hand and led me through what I later discovered to be the beginning of a world beyond my wildest imaginations.

We rarely spoke about his family when we were together. But as the youngest son of the chairman of Taejong Group and an assemblywoman, and the younger sibling to a judge sister and a military officer brother, — he obviously lived in a world divergent from the one I knew.

We didn't get too far in before we were greeted with a deferential bow by a middle aged woman in uniform.
"Yoo Han-nim, welcome back. Would you like some refreshment served for your guest?"

"Yes, please. We'll take it in my study," Yoo Han replied in his usual nonchalance as he continued on his way without waiting for a reply.

The only time he stopped in his track was on the majestic sweeping marble staircase leading to the second floor, where group of people were headed downwards whereas we were headed up.

When he saw who was leading the pack, Yoo Han immediately stood in front of me, blocking my direct line of sight of them, and vice versa.

"You are all dismissed,"
— Not having a clear view, I could only hear the authoritative dismissal.
Her words were concise and her voice was precise; not too loud nor too soft, not too demanding nor relenting.

She was a woman who knew how to manage the world like the back of her hands.
And this woman, — was his mother.

Neither mother nor son exchanged a word until the crowd left; leaving me completely unsure if I should stay or leave with them.
My only indication to stay was Yoo Han holding still, my hand in his, — never letting go.

"We'll talk after I see my guest to my study," He spoke with such commensurate evenness that he sounded frightfully foreign to me. Never have I heard him articulate so formidably, disconcerting me to think that this man was one and the same Go Yoo Han I knew. He showed not even a minuscule of uneasiness being discovered with me, — another man, and a Mono, on top of that, — by his mother.

Obligingly, she kept mum as he pivoted around to take me by the waist on the remaining trip up the stairs.
And to be completely honest, — I was too dumbstruck with terror by the confrontation to even realise what he was doing.

Only as the door to his study closed behind us, did I finally breathe again.

"I knew we shouldn't have come here.... Go Yoo Han, what are you going to tell your mother?" Panic-stricken, I asked with all franticness.

With both arms wrapped around my middle, he drew me close against him. "What do you think I'd tell her?" he asked with a suggestive hints of teasing.

I should, foremost, be outright astonished by the seamless change of persona, but his flippancy towards the matter at hand, inevitably lead me to whacking his forearm out of habit instead.

Laughing at how easy it was for him to get under my skin, "All right, all right..." he placated as he directed me to sit on the plush leather sofa. Dropping a chaste kiss on my temple, "Be good and stay here for a bit, Yeon Woo-yah... I'll be back soon enough," he said.

I didn't try to stop him from keeping his word to his mother as he left the room.
But anxiety wouldn't stop gnawing my insides.

Sat all alone on the twin seater sofa, I repeatedly clenched and unclenched my knitted fingers with fret, —
Until a knock on the door frazzled my overwrought nerves, startling me off the sofa.

'Surely it was far too soon for Yoo Han to return,' I thought to myself as my uneasiness doubled in fold with distress trying to figure out what to do with the person at the door.

I was serendipitously spared from deciding when the uniformed lady from the foyer entered with an amicable smile, "I have here some refreshments that Yoo Han-nim usually likes. I hope these are to your liking as well."

Still stuck in the state of stupefaction, it was a miracle managing to express my thanks for the drinks and snacks, despite having lost most of my higher functions to the chaos that has muddled my brains.
She nodded in acknowledgment; and as quickly as she came, she left with a defining click of the door closing behind her.

I wasn't sure if time was ticking far slower than usual, or was it the edginess that was making me perceive the passage of time to be faster than it really was.
It just felt like a very long time since Yoo Han left the room.

Even de-colouring was washing away all colours far more rapidly than it usually did.
Was physically being away from Yoo Han in an unfamiliar environment, psychologically making de-colouring more perceptible? — I wasn't sure.

Restlessness did not allow me to stay glued to my seat for long.
The urge to find Yoo Han was so strong, that the compulsion was near impossible to defy.

I only got to the threshold of the room with the door opened slightly ajar before I could hear Yoo Han's voice filtering clearly through a distance away. It was then I realised how much trust he had in the soundproofing in his study, to confidently have this conversation in the hallway with his mother; all the while knowing that I would never hear a single word of it if I had stayed as requested within these four walls.

"I don't understand your needless worrying, mother...
Hasn't Yeon Woo proven that he would sooner die than to hurt me?... If you insist on removing him from my life, I know with certainty that he will wither away and die. And if he dies, — this time, it wouldn't be as simple as running away;
— I will follow suit...
It's not a threat, mother; it's a promise..."

Silently re-closing the heavily reinforced door, I stumbled backwards in stupor — until the spine on my back hit a wall and was compelled to crumble to the timber floors, for my legs refused to hold me up, — not even a minute longer.

I remained sat on the ground, insensible to all around me;
— Until Go Yoo Han returned.

Taken aback, "Yeon Woo-yah! What are you doing on the floor?" he asked, hurrying to help me up and back on to the sofa.

"Did you hurt yourself? Are you feeling sick?" Yoo Han was filled with concern when I refused to look at him.

But how could I, — with these unshed tears in my eyes?

"... I overheard your conversation with your mom... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop but... but—..."
I struggled to find the right words, but I was at lost.
Was the normalcy I longed for, — really too much to ask?

Of all the expressions Yoo Han loved to study across my face, the only one he never hoped to see was for pain and anguish to mar the only face he recognised.
Yet systematically they fell, one after another in complete defiance.

Unable to take in any more of this agony, Yoo Han fiercely cradled my face to his chest, —
"Yeon Woo-yah... My Choi Yeon Woo...
I want you to listen to me...
No one, — not a soul from this household, or from this world, for that matter, — can force me to leave you.
No one can take you away from me.
Do you understand that?

I will not allow anyone tear us apart.
You belong to me,
As much as I belong to you.

And don't you dare dispute that."

-.-.-.-///-.-.-.-