III. ACCEPTANCE

To be able to be with Yoo Han was more than I dared ask for.

Of course, along the way there were many a time I worried that our relationship wouldn't survive. And in those darker times, I couldn't help but to admit that I was ready to give it all up. But time and time again, Yoo Han would make certain that I would never have such a chance to do so, for he will be the first in line to fight tooth and nail to keep us together, — no matter what.

As evidenced by his university admission.
For someone with a horrendous attendance record such as his, he surprised many by earning a place in the same university as I did with sheer determination, — and a draconian study regime. In fact, he did so well, Yoo Han could have easily gotten into any one of the SKY universities, but insisted to go where I went instead.
His parents, in all honesty, were only too relieved that he was going to attend university; as to where, they weren't too bothered.

Perhaps seeing firsthand the betterment in her son, positively resulted in a change of heart on how his mother viewed the interdependency of our unconventional relationship. His father on the other hand, had nothing much to say, — except that Yoo Han as the next in line of succession to the Taejong Group was non-negotiable by any means. His siblings, in all fairness, were neither for nor against the matter, — stating that Yoo Han has every right to decide what he wanted in life.
But by accepting who I was without discrimination and respecting our relationship, — was more than I could ask of them.

From an outsider's perspective, it was rather unprecedented for such a powerful and influential family such as his, to take such a tolerant approach.
But then again, this particular family was also the same family who allowed their youngest to undergo idol training on a whim; — so it might not be so strange after all.

Every moment in the last eight years was a dream I never knew was possible in real life.
Having been fearful all my life of being a Mono would destroy everyone I loved, I was terrified of establishing relationships of any sorts.
Hence, to be able to live as normal as the next person, albeit our unorthodox relationship, — was already God's greatest gift to me.

Therefore, I would never dream of the impossible.
Never ask of the impossible.
Never want the impossible.
Nor need the impossible.

Having Go Yoo Han in my life, the way we were right now — was enough for me.

So when his mother unexpectedly dropped the bombshell over the course of dinner one evening, as casually as she would have commenting about the weather, — I was shell-shocked, to say the least.

"Yeon Woo-sshi, the lawyers will be here tomorrow at 10 to have the adoption papers signed," — was what she said; which wasn't a proposal or a suggestion, not even an open discussion.
It was essentially an edict, proclaimed by his mother.

Making no heads or tails of her sudden announcement, I had more questions than answers running rampant through my head, —
'What adoption?!
Whose adoption?!
Who's adopting who?!'— just to name a few.

"What adoption, eomeo-nim?" I had to ask aloud, hoping that she would shed some light to my confusion.

"Yours, of course, " she replied matter-of-factly as she nonchalantly continued cut her serving of Blanquette de Veal into bite size, "— Otherwise, how else would it be possible for us to legally have your name in the family registry, if not through adoption?"

I didn't know whether which was more shocking, — the news? Or his mother's casualness towards such life-altering matter!

Although I was to keep my name as is, they wanted a lawful status of my existence in the family. With the adoption, it would essentially make me a rightful son of the family, more so than a son-in-law would!

My head was still reeling from shock, when heartfelt congratulatory wishes showered all over me from every member of the family around the table.
I am sure that everyone in the family, including Yoo Han's brother- and sister-in-laws were genuinely happy for us, but this was no small matter! Once legalised, — unlike marriage, there was no annulling an adoption, regardless of what happens in the future.

'How am I going to explain this to Aunt Yi Rang?!' — I fret internally.

While Go Yoo Han, who must have known about it much earlier, sat virtually unperturbed right next to me, — if not for the smug grin hiding behind the glass of red wine; like the cat the swallowed the canary.

Humourlessly I wondered to myself if I was that proverbial canary.

Like trapped in a whirlwind, I barely had time to register all that was happening around me, when Yoo Han decided to whisk me away on a plane to Maldives, where we were then transferred onto another private charter before being shipped off to a chalet in the middle of nowhere, that was only accessible by boat!

Still trying to gather my bearings upon arrival, Yoo Han had expertly led me through the villa, like his own backyard, — until we reached an intimately curated bedroom that was bigger than half the apartment I shared with my aunt!
I didn't know whether to be amazed by the sheer size or to be mortified by the whole honeymoon setup of the room.

"Go ahead and shower first," he said, ushering me through the walk-in wardrobe, into a larger space presumably the beginning of the bathroom where the jacuzzi sat, before finally stopping in front of the shower.

With my head still dumbstruck over the initial surprise, I could only nod and do as he said.
Owing to the recent flurry of excitement, my head had been in constant turmoil; I haven't had the time to breathe, let alone think.

So when the shower came on, I couldn't refrain letting out a pleasured sigh as raindrops that was meticulously moderated to the temperature of my liking, fell exquisitely over my immensely strained body.
I was so relaxed that I nearly missed Yoo Han's voice calling out to me from beyond the cubicle,
"Yeon Woo-yah, your clothes for the evening has already been prepared; it's on the bed. Wear it... I'll be waiting for you at the dining gazebo outside..."

Floating on cloud nine in the shower, I nodded in response to no one in particular.
At that point in time, I didn't think too much of all this.
I thought that after all these years, I should be used to all his whims and fancies by now.

But I stand corrected.

Coming out of shower in the most luxurious cotton bathrobe, the last thing I expected to find lying on the bed was a handsome bespoke three-piece suit in the colour of moonlight grey, coordinated modishly with a simple crisp white shirt and a blue-grey tie to match.
Even a novice like me, knew that it was impressively made with premium quality that would cost a small fortune.

So, forgive my misgivings wondering if I would do justice to the suit by wearing it.

But I put it on nonetheless.
Not because I thought I could pull it off,
— But more so because Yoo Han made certain I had nothing else to wear, — but that.

I was so busy fidgeting with my necktie, heading towards the designated location, that I didn't notice Yoo Han's presence until he was no more than ten steps away from me.
Standing regally before the gazebo, he too has changed out of his travelling clothes into a devastatingly prepossessing suit in the same colour as the tie I wore.

He held out his arm in silent command for me to come towards him.
And as though bewitched, my legs subconsciously took me towards him, until I was well within his arm's reach.

Locked possessively in his embrace, "You look absolutely stunning, Yeon Woo-yah..."
He whispered so sensually beside my sensitive ears that I had to fight back the shiver chasing down my spine.

Looking positively pleased with the effect he had over me, he led the way around the dining table in the middle, to the edge of the gazebo overlooking the lagoon.

The colours of the sunset setting the sea ablaze with its warm tones was unequivocally breathtaking.

I was so captivated by the view before me, that I barely noticed he had slipped behind me, — until I felt the temperated rise and fall of his chest against my back, and his arms around me swaying us in time to the ebb and flow of the tides.

"Since our escapade to the beach years ago, we've not had the chance to see the blue of the ocean again...
Study got in the way, then work...
For the past eight years, colours that you were able to see was confined to what was around us daily.

So for the next ten days of our time here, I want you to have something special."

Eyes brimmed with unshed tears, blurring the beautiful sight before me.

How was it that he always knew all the right words to say?
As he turned me around to face him, I couldn't hide the crystal droplets that was trekking down my cheeks.

"It is my wish for you to experience more colours...
Today...
Tomorrow...
And everyday, — for the rest of our lives,
— Together..."

Staring straight into my tear-filled eyes with the molten caramel that I loved, —
"Yeon Woo-yah... My beloved Yeon Woo-yah..."

He got down on one knee and reached deep within his pocket for a small velveteen box,
— all the while never breaking his line of sight of me.
"Mother may have beaten me to it,
But I still felt that the need to make it official, — even if it's just between the both of us.

I won't ask of you to marry me, when it is impossible.
But I seek your willingness to stay with me,
Through thick and thin,
Through everything conceivable,
— Until death do us part..."

Even if in this life there would never be an official ceremony to celebrate our union,
— This was more than adequate.

".. I— I often told myself... — that being able to spend everyday with you was more than enough for me...
Then, your mother —... the adoption...
And now, you...

It sometime scares me to think if God should take away all these from me one day..."
I said, chocking back on the onslaught of sobs caught in my throat.

"God can take anything away from me...
Anything, — but you.

You are my Mono,
And I am your Probe.
Nothing in this world will change that," Yoo Han said with absolute conviction.

Unable to think through the surge of emotions, "... I— I... I don't know what to say..."

"Just say that you'll be mine..."

I didn't need the minute to decide what my heart had already knew;
What I needed was a moment to seek affirmation, that he wasn't just saying it in the height of the moment.

And within the anticipating caramels, there was only clarity unobscured by uncertainty;
Reflecting brilliantly from the depths, in return.

There it was, — my answer, staring back at me.

Inhaling deeply, I gathered my wits to make the commitment of a lifetime, —
"Yes... yes, I will..."

Yoo Han's smile was brighter than any colour rush, as he took the simple yet elegant white gold band from the box and painstakingly slipped it into my finger.

Rising back on his feet, he showed me the content of the box where another ring of corresponding design laid.
It didn't take a genius to figure out matching pair was his, as I took with trembling hands the ring and put it through his finger.

As Yoo Han laced our ringed fingers together to admire the token of our relationship, —
"Do you know why I choose white, instead of any other colour?" he asked.
To which, I only shook my head.

"White has long been associated with purity since ancient times.
And that is what I see in you, Yeon Woo-yah, — every time I look at you...
A pure heart of gold,
An untainted soul...
— Purest of white like freshly fallen snow.

And like white light that embodied spectrum of colours,
I wanted our rings to forever be a reminder of all the colours you love..."

Yoo Han has never done anything in life with half measures.
Even something as simple as a wedding band, was meticulously selected.

So, tell me how not to love this man?

Throwing caution to the wind, I leaped into his arms as I looped my own around his neck, and pressed my lips to his for a ravenous kiss. While the initiative was all mine, he recovered from the initial shock almost instantaneously, taking control of the momentum with feisty bites demanding for access.

Teeth clashed as tongue warred in a well practiced dance for dominance.
His arms pulled me closer against him until it was physically impossible for me to run.

As the kiss took more zealous turn with each passing second, hands, — was it his hands or mine's? I didn't know anymore, — roamed daringly tracing every contours, every outline of each other's body.

My own fingers found purchase around his lapels, crumpling the splendid material in my tightened fist as I gasped breathlessly for air between his voracious kisses.
His deft fingers made short work of the suit;
First the tie fell slack around my neck,
Then down my vest until all buttons were freed from their holes.

Knowing full well where all this was leading to, it was still discomforting to expose such intimate act out in the open although the next voyeuristic eyes were not till miles and miles away.
Exhibitionism was just not my thing.

"Yoo Han-ah...
Not here...
Bedroom..."

Words might have been broken into snippets, he got the message nonetheless.

Leaving one last discriminating mark on my neck, where I would be forced to conceal behind turtlenecks for days, — he didn't even allow my lust-hazed mind to catch up, before lifting me off my feet in his arms towards the bedroom, where the super king sized bed awaits.

I was thrown unceremoniously onto the plush mattress with a slight bounce, while his entire length covered over me with only his arms by the side of my heated ears, propping him up from completely crushing himself on me.

His caramel eyes set alight with desire stared hungrily into me.

"Did you know, — that when I had this suit made,
I only had the picture of stripping it off you in mind...?"

I tried to turn away in embarrassment, but his arm got in the way.

Balancing his entire weight in one arm, the free hand caressed down my sensitive ears, down my neckline before settling at the tip of my chin, compelling my attention to focus only on him.

"Don't turn away from me...
I love seeing every expression that crosses your face..."

"Yoo Han-ah..." I pled softly, — silently begging him not to tease.
But Go Yoo Han wouldn't be Go Yoo Han if he didn't tease, would he?

His lips followed closely the path of his hand travelling down south, — leaving hot branding kisses with every button that stood in its way unbuttoned, until the last button on my pants came apart unfastened.
I squirmed restlessly under his wicked ministration.

Having nothing more to work on, his corrupt hand cupped and massaged my length through the expensive fabric.

"... Yoo— Yoo Han-ah..."
Feverish from over-sensitisation, I couldn't tell whether I wanted him to stop, or never to stop.
And he never listens anyway.

His ardour set every inch of my body on fire, like how the sunset painted the sea in its colours;
I knew I had very little power to fight the passion between us.

Even with my suit laid sprawled open, my blood was boiling beneath my skin.

In my blurry state, I must have voiced it out loud, because Yoo Han was only too happy to rid me of clothes. Before long, I was exposed completely for his taking.

Admittedly, it wasn't our first time.
But the occasion of the day upheld the 'deed' a little more significantly than it usually would.

I should be embarrassed,
But I was also too high strung from anticipation alone.

More than seeing, I could feel his fingers trailing roguish circles at my entrance.

"Yoo Han-ah— ..." Reduced to only moaning only his name, — like it was the only word I could form coherently in my head, and out my mouth.

"Patience..." — was what he said.
But the lubed finger that has now probed past the first ring, meant other things all together.

I inhaled a hiss at the initial breech; — all the while wondering when he found the time to lubricate his fingers between all the teasing.
Was I so lost in the haze of passion that his every action escaped me?

But when his second digit followed the first,
I couldn't care less.

"Relax for me, Yeon Woo-yah... I don't want to hurt you..."

And I know he never would.
Despite clouded by insatiable lust, he would never force himself on me.

For that reason, I endeavoured to accommodate his every move.

Having felt the lack of resistance, the fingers working inside of me didn't stop, —
Not even when I was a writhing mess of sweat and tears under him, struggling to holdback from chasing my own sweet release.
Not until he has satisfyingly coated every inch with copious amount of lubricant;
— And initialed the walls within with his name.

That possessive sadist.

Once pleased with his handiwork, fingers withdrew with a lingering touch as he took my right ankle to his lips, leaving butterfly kisses along the inside of my thigh, down every inch till the juncture at the base of my pelvis. He painstakingly took care to avoid all sensitive areas, which was more maddening than if he wasn't so deliberate.

Hooking the attended appendage over his shoulder, he took the other and repeated the same treatment until both legs were propped up against him. As Yoo Han leaned forward to align his body with mine, my hip inevitably raised to meet his length.

"Yoo Han... your clothes..."— were still on him.

Hovering right above me, he throatily whispered, "I thought I might try to dry hump you until you cum... But I'm a bit too desperate myself tonight to be playing games..."

With that said, his incredibly athletic body planked over me as he stripped off the offending article of clothing. How he managed to twist and contort to make it happen was an acrobatic feat I wasn't too bothered at the moment to discover.

When he finally lowered himself on me, the head of his shaft was already pressing against me for entrance.

"May I...?" — How ever tedious it was, Yoo Han would never fail to ask for permission;
One of many little things he did out of respect for me in our relationship.

Bashfully, I nodded my consent.

His lips found mine as the pressure for entry intensified, forcing my attention to divide between sensations. As he carefully pushed through, his kisses swallowed my every cry from escaping aloud until he was fully seated within and I had grown accustomed to the feeling of him inside me.

"You're so beautiful..." he whispered hoarsely before laboriously pulled back and pushed in again to the hilt.

"Yoo Han-ah...!" I gasped, clawing his back.
In retaliation, he sank his teeth into the nape of my left shoulder.

The pain must have triggered the tightening of my internal walls when he hissed from the sensory overload. As a consolation, he licked soothingly up and down the bite mark until he was free to move at will again. Yet every time the tightness slackened, his girth would widen to make up the circumference difference; — driving intendedly for my prostate until I was completely out of my mind.

In vain, I tried to stave off my own release for as long as possible.
I wanted for us to come together, —
But the rush was stronger than the will.
I came so hard between the tangled mess of our bodies, that my mind blanked out on me for a full minute.

Taking satisfaction in rendering me mindless, Yoo Han stole the opportunity in the midst of the intensity to lift my entire weight vertically off the bed in his arms, without even taking himself out of me.
How? — I hadn't the slightest clue.
Did I want to know? — Not really.

But his nimble manoeuvre had my back arch pliantly to the shape of a crescent moon, with my chest pressed firmly against his, — taking him deeper than we had ever been.
I moaned at the feeling of him so deep in.

"Yeon Woo-yah... My beautiful Choi Yeon Woo...
I want to cum so deep inside you, that my essence will stay inside you for days,"

A terribly perverted idea that was so like Go Yoo Han.
To which I did not reply, for I was too lost in the feeling of my insides restructuring to take him in deeper.

Although drenched completely in sweat, Yoo Han still had the formidable stamina to last a good while in the same position, and a hell lot of fortitude to last without coming when the second wave of my orgasm raged at me for release.

"Yoo Han-ah—
... I can't hold...!!" I begged, choking on my own broken cries.

"Then don't..." he replied with deep huskiness before upholding me in the same position with one hand while the other perversely reached between us to stroke my messily leaking shaft to completion.

"Yoo Han—!!!" I screamed for him as I came again, more powerfully than the first.
He was beyond satisfied reducing my mind and body senseless.

Literally blown out of my mind, I had very little higher functions left to register what he was doing to my body. Coming down from my high, I could feel him lowering us back onto the bed before rearranging my useless limbs to better his admission.

His started again with a modulated tempo before picking up the pace with more erratic thrusts.
His breathing quickened into shallow pants.
"Yeon Woo-yah... I don't think I can hold on much longer..." he grunted, before flooding my insides with his load.

And with his first, came my third.
I was insensible after that.

When I finally regain consciousness, nightfall had long descended upon us.

Yoo Han was asleep on his side to my left, with his head on my shoulder and an arm coiled securely around my middle. I noticed that he had also cleaned us up while I was out, but obviously left out the pyjamas, deliberately.

I sighed with mixed exasperation and contentment.
What did I do to deserve this happiness?

Entwining my fingers with his over my midriff, I realised that I could still feel the remnants of our consummation pooling in the pit of my stomach.
Uneasiness silently sank its ugly claws into the complacency of my heart as his earlier words echoed resoundingly in my head.
"... I want to cum so deep inside you, that my essence will stay inside you for days..."

The matter was not one that I gave much thought before; but with the new change of circumstances in our relationship, — as commitments were made, 'it' was now an impending matter that required careful considerations.
Although neither of his parents asked for an heir of him, nor has he ever expressed interest in children, I still felt that I was robbing him of the chance to be a father by being with me.

"... What are you thinking so profoundly...?" Still thick with sleep, Yoo Han barely had his eyes opened when he suddenly asked.

"Sorry... did I wake you?" I apologised, wondering for the millionth time how he always had such impeccable timing.

As though gifted telepathically, he coquettishly snuggled his head against my nape, "If I say I'm your Probe therefore I know everything there is to know about you, — you'd call me a liar. But call it intuition, if you must, — I just know when something not right...
So spill... what's on your mind?"

Not going to argue with his logics, I remained quiet for a long moment; but he was exceedingly patient with me.

"... Yoo Han-ah..."

"Hmm—?"

"... You know that I can never give you a child, right...?" I didn't know how else to broach the question, except by taking the bull by the horns.

Yoo Han's head rose from my shoulder to look at me earnestly.
However, before he could say a word, I hastily interjected, —
"But! — If you really want one, I'm sure we can find a surrogate."

For a brief second I thought I might have caught a flash of tempestuous menace raging in those caramel eyes, at my suggestion.

"My seeds are only meant to be spent in you, — and no one else.
Not even if it's artificially planted," he said with finality.

My lips fell apart to form a silent 'oh'.
But my concession must look as unconvincing as I felt.

Yoo Han dragged a long calming breath, taking the moment to bring his temperament under control, —
"From the moment I decided that it has to be you, I want only you in my life.
I don't care for children.

Although, —" he trailed off playfully, as he rested our linked hand meaningfully over my stomach,
"... I'm happy to pretend we could.
I'm all for the process; not the outcome.

More importantly, thank God you couldn't fall pregnant.
Already as it is I can't keep my hands off you,
Can you imagine making me a celibate for nine months?

Stop giving me nightmares, love..." he bemoaned dramatically.

Rolling back on his back he dragged me along with him as he laid my head to rest over his beating heart.

"Enough of this nonsense...
Sleep now before I decide to ravish you again..." he said, stifling a yawn as he lullingly caressed the top of my head to sleep.

-.-.-.-///-.-.-.-