My face burns when I become a little too aware of our proximity. I duck my head, shrugging away from his touch. Maddox's hand drops, and he clears his throat. 

I don't know if he's still looking at me, but I don't look up to find out.

Watching Maddox lose his mother is heartbreaking enough on its own, but my mind can't help but knot itself around the fact that I will lose my mother soon enough as well. I won't outlive her for long, I'm sure, but if I had to, I don't think I could pick myself back up in the way that Maddox has.

A hopeful thought suddenly pops into my head, making my eyes widen. If I can learn to heal like Maddox, wouldn't I be able to cure my mother's hex?

I want to ask Maddox about it, but it doesn't feel right to ask him such a thing after watching his younger self mourn his mother just minutes ago. I bite my tongue and make a mental note to bring it up at a later time.

Until then, I want to say something to fill the heavy silence in the room, but my jaw stays clenched. I don't know what to say. I could say I'm sorry for his loss, but that would be such a meaningless sentiment in this case. What do you say when 'I'm sorry' isn't enough?

Relief relaxes my tense shoulders when he finally fractures the silence. "Are you alright?" he asks.

His question takes me off guard, but I keep my face composed. "Me?" I question, finally looking back up. Shouldn't I be asking him that?

"Yes," he says, blinking at me. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

Tentatively, I twist my body in his direction. "You didn't. I just feel bad is all," I admit quietly.

"Why?" he asks, arching a brow.

I shrug, fiddling with my coat sleeve. "I shouldn't have been so nosy about something so personal."

His face softens. "Love, I don't mind sharing my past with you at all. I didn't do anything I didn't want to." I eye him speculatively, and he rolls his eyes. "Okay, I didn't want to talk about it, yes, but that's why I opted to let you see for yourself."

I purse my lips, still skeptical. "I don't see how reliving such a horrible memory in a front-row seat is easier than talking about it."

He tilts his head to the side briefly, half shrugging. "Well, I've replayed that night in my mind at least a thousand times over since it happened, both in and out of sleep, so I've grown a bit numb to it, honestly," he explains, eyes solemn. "But I haven't talked out loud about my mom in years. That... doesn't come easy for me yet."

I frown, looking away. "I see." 

It's quiet between us again for several minutes.

I have so many questions, but I have no idea where to start, or if I even should.

I want to know more about Cyrus and his father. I want to know more about Maddox's life after he lost his family. But is it wise to go down the rabbit hole any further?

A tingle runs up my arm when Maddox's hand brushes my own. I'm not sure if his touch is to simply grab my attention or to hold my hand again, but my fingers bend into a resistant fist, my fingernails digging into my palm.

His hand slides back to his side upon my reaction, and he murmurs, "The memory is never pleasant to recall, of course, but it wasn't nearly as awful this time." Guilt nudges me until I look Maddox in the eye. He blinks slowly, considering his words. "You being there... It was the first time the memory didn't feel so... desolate."

Is he thanking me? For what? I clear my throat. "Doesn't it still bother you? Being here, in this house, I mean."

He looks away, his eyes inquisitively roaming the small space. I follow his gaze as it trails from the charred ceiling and down to the loose, dusty floorboards. After a moment, he looks back at me and offers a tight smile.

"Well, I'd be lying if I said no, but it doesn't feel as disarming as I expected. The good memories outweigh the bad ones."

Maddox is stronger than me in this case because it would take very powerful memories to outshine such a horrific instance for me.

"Like what?" I question.

"Well, I grew up here. Learned how to read, write, practiced magic here..." He shrugs, smiling for a second. "And this is where I met Cyrus. My life would've been quite lonely had he not come along."

Your mother might've lived though, I think to myself. Maddox said he was afraid of the person who caused the fire, but he won't tell me who that is. It had to have been Nicholas. I wouldn't put it past a man as bitter as him. And it makes sense that Maddox would keep it a secret out of respect for Cyrus.

"So, Cyrus came back, then?" I ask.

He looks downcast now. "No. I was alone for a long time before we saw each other again, but knowing that I still had family out in the world kept me going." 

A sad feeling seeps through me. How does he find light in such grim situations?

I hug my legs to my chest and rest my chin on my knees, staring mindlessly into the diminishing fire pit. The more I wonder what life must've been like for him on his own, the more despondent I feel.

Finally breaking the silence again, I murmur, "You said before that the healer in your village died and you had to step up. I'm guessing your mother was that healer?" He nods in response, averting his eyes. "So, you didn't heal people with bandages or actual medicine? You used magic?" I press.

"No," he says with a frown, blinking up at a fragile cobweb on the ceiling. "I didn't learn how to heal with magic for a long time."

Makes sense. He did say mastering healing magic is no easy feat.

But there are still so many blanks in his past, and I find myself wanting to know more for some reason. "Okay, you stayed and took care of your village for a while, but what happened after that? Did you leave to go look for Cyrus?" I insist.

He blinks at me, and I almost feel guilty for asking so many questions, but then I remember that he is the one who asked me to be more forthright with him.

"I taught others in my village how to treat wounds and cure common sicknesses before finally going off on my own, but not just because I wanted to find Cyrus," he explains, making my curiosity peak again, but instead of continuing, he suddenly pauses.

Maddox becomes seemingly lost in thought about something, and it's quiet again. My anticipation builds as his eyes wander over to a cracked window, watching the rain fall.

He still doesn't look at me, and I hate that it bothers me.

But he finally speaks. "I've always taken pleasure in knowledge, be it books, puzzles... anything. Anything to keep me thinking. But eventually, I outgrew my home. I wanted to experience more than intellectual gimmicks or words on paper written by smarter men." He looks back at the fireplace when he loses interest in the window, eyes full of determination. "I wanted to find Cyrus if I could, yes, but I also wanted to see the world. I wanted to be the 'smarter men'."

His words take me aback for a second. I don't have to ask to know that Maddox was successful in his endeavors. He reconnected with Cyrus, that much is clear, and he is noticeably, and dangerously intelligent.

"So, where did you go, then?" I ask softly. 

He blinks, his lulling eyes finally returning to mine. "Everywhere. I didn't have a destination in mind. I wouldn't stay much longer than a week or two in one place, but I met a good variety of people—both mortals and Celestials. By the time I ran into Cyrus, we were both nearly grown."

My eyes widen. "Really? Where was he all that time?"

He shrugs. "He had been with Nicholas for most of his life, but I found Cyrus in a mortal village, trying to make a better life for himself. It was dumb luck that I found him, honestly."

Cyrus had to live with Nicholas for most of his life? My Moons, no wonder Cyrus is the way he is. Being raised by such a cruel man has to take a toll on you at some point. But I think harsh words were the least of Cyrus's torment.

I swallow. "The night your village burned... That wasn't the first time Nicholas hurt you and Cyrus, was it?" Maddox looks away, jaw clenched. My breathing stalls.

I know he isn't going to answer me out of respect for Cyrus, but his silence has already confirmed my suspicions. Nicholas's temper made him abusive in more than one way.

"Well, he finally got away from Nicholas at some point, at least," I declare with relief.

Maddox frowns. "If you want to put it that way, yes." He runs his finger along the sunstone on the cover of the journal sitting between us. "Cyrus told me his father was taken by Moonborn soldiers who tortured and killed him. That's why Cyrus wasn't with Nicholas anymore when I found him."

My eyes widen and my face pales. Is my father responsible for Nichloas's death? Was it a calculated attack or just unfortunate luck for Cyrus's dad?

I shake my head, composing myself quickly. "So, he chose to stay with him and would have continued to do so, you think?" I ask incredulously.

"Probably."

"Why stay with someone so hurtful?" I wonder aloud, suddenly feeling drained.

Maddox gives me a sad smile. "It isn't always easy to walk away from someone, no matter how badly they've hurt you. And for all Cyrus knew at the time, Nicholas was all he had left in the world. I imagine he was too afraid to face the world alone."

I tsk, straightening out my legs. "That's ridiculous. Sure, it's scary going against what you're used to, but it's got to be better than staying and suffering."

Maddox's mouth curls at the corner. "Quite ironic coming from you, but I couldn't agree more," he muses.

It takes a minute for the meaning behind his words to sink in, but when it does, my eyes narrow and I scowl. "My situation is different, Maddox. You weren't raised as a Lunarian, so I don't expect you to understand," I counter spitefully.

He throws his hands up defensively, biting back a smirk. "Easy. I was merely—"

"Cyrus chose to stay and suffer. I don't have a choice." I don't know why his remark has cut me so deeply, but anger burns in my gut.

"I disagree," he replies smoothly.

I glower at him but he denies me any kind of reaction. Fed up with his know-it-all attitude, I lean forward on my knees so that we're at eye level. "Well, you're wrong. The Moon Gathering is a sacred, spiritual ceremony—not some abusive, toxic bond. It's—"

"Oh, potato, potahto, Darling," he interjects with an eye roll.

My fists tighten and my calmness finally slips away. Any pity I felt for him just minutes ago fades quickly. "You're so annoying!" I burst out. 

I wish I could just tell him I'm a Van Blake so he'd understand the depth of my obligation. But somehow, I don't think this would sway Maddox's opinion in the slightest.

His expression twists between amusement and irritation. "Am I?" he counters dryly. "Well, forgive me for not wanting you to die, Love." His sarcasm irks my last nerve, and I have to bite the inside of my cheek.

Everything Dolion said about Maddox had left my thoughts for the past hour, but it's all coming back now that my mind isn't overcast with smoke and dark memories.

He killed Leo. He killed Leo. He killed Leo, I chant to myself. Remember that.

Everyone has a sob story, and I can't let Maddox's cloud my judgment. From here on out, I must stick to my plan no matter what: Find Nova. Learn how to heal. Make sure Maddox stays locked away. Save Orion.

But first, I have to accomplish the unexpected detour of finding my sword.

"It doesn't matter what you want, Maddox. It isn't your business," I finally say, keeping an even tone. "I don't know why it matters to you anyway. As I have said before, we shouldn't bother caring about each other."

"If you feel that way, then why ask so many questions about me?"

Still irritated with him, I shrug, feigning indifference. "I only listen and talk to you because we're trapped together. I would want nothing to do with you otherwise."

My words sting like salt in a wound, for both him and me, but if I'm going to inevitably leave Maddox behind, I can't let myself get any closer to him. 

He laughs silently and without humor, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You... You know what? Never mind. You're right." His abrupt change in demeanor makes my heart rate slow. "I'm sure you'd be pretty busy, what with having some sacrificial ritual to run off to."

Ice water shocks my veins at his cold tone. Well, I've succeded in getting under his skin, that's for sure. Instinctively, I want to respond, but I bite down on my lip instead, keeping myself quiet. It's better to not try and comfort him. No sense in stinging someone with venom just to offer an antidote seconds later.

Besides, Maddox wouldn't want a lackluster apology anyway.

He doesn't look at me as he stands, but he does speak over his shoulder. "Sounds like the rain has let up as much as it's going to for now. I'll go check for the sword again."

I swallow roughly. "I'll..." I have to pause to clear my throat of its scratchiness. "I'll go with y—"

"No," he replies sharply, making my skin sink into my bones.

With that, he creaks open the front door and steps outside into the rain. I respect his wishes and make no move to follow him. The tension in the room subsides when the door closes behind him, leaving me alone with my scattered thoughts.

I can't believe I let him get me so riled up. I'm usually great at keeping my emotions at bay, but Maddox is just so... Oh, never mind.

I hug my knees to my chest again, watching the raindroplets splash and slide down one of the windows. Guilt and frustration take turns weighing me down as I replay our conversation over and over again in my head.

'Potato, potahto.' 

Yeah, right. Like he could ever understand. 

As a Van Blake, I'm obligated to follow through with the Moon Gathering, more so than anyone else in our country. 

But Maddox's words have inspired something in me. Something that makes me want to push him away more than ever.

Hope. 

And my foolish heart wants nothing more than to cling to it.

His conviction, his clever way with words... I almost want to believe there could be a different path in life for me, but I know deep down that there's no escaping my fate.

Despite this, a bittersweet image still paints itself in my head:

My siblings and I, living in our own, quaint little village—free from the pressure and fear that has been rooted in us since birth. A crisp-aired village free from war and full of flowers and innocents would be our home.

Of course, it would be a life without our parents, but the trade-off would be worth it in my eyes.

Atlas and I would share the carefree bond we once had as children, and he would excel in life with his ambitious mindset. Eros and Nova would visit occasionally, always bringing the light they share with them. Orion would likely visit me the most, but outside of that, he'd likely enjoy a quiet life full of nature and endless possibilities. And Juniper would have what every child deserves... A future. And with her wits, a bright one at that.

And maybe... Maddox could be a part of my future in some way.

I shake my head at the lingering, stupid thought and rub my temples roughly.

Stop it. He wants you dead! my mind screams. He will kill you.

My nails dig into my coat sleeves and I close my eyes, feeling empty. He. Will. Kill. You.

My heart skips a beat and offers me a tiny, defiant whisper of a thought.

No, he won't.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽ ☆ ☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Unable to calm the paranoia in my racing mind, I opt to keep it occupied with something more important—the journal. If I can figure out how to read the first page with magic, I will be one more step closer to healing Orion. 

With the book closed and in hand, I try to focus on what might be written in the journal of an O'Helio. Probably crazy ramblings and arrogance. 

Several meaningless minutes pass, so I try closing my eyes like Maddox suggested earlier today, but nothing happens. 

Maybe I should just focus on finding traces of magic. That's what krymmeni magii is about, right? Finding what's hidden. Maybe I should look for the same stars I saw before swinging the sword that brought me here.

I squeeze my eyelids together even tighter, imagining stars.

When I reopen my eyes, the room is completely still, and the book is still resting on my lap. I hear the rain crystalizing along the roof.

I sigh, annoyed. I've never had this much difficulty learning magic. I'm usually a quick study, but this... this is impossible. Maybe Maddox sent me on a fool's errand.

Speaking of which, where is he? It's been nearly an hour. The sword couldn't have gone too far. I dropped it just right outside, after all.

A cold breeze rushes through the openings of the house, making me shiver. Tiny white flakes cling to my hair, but I rub them away quickly and look up at the fireplace. The flames will die out soon if I don't offer them something to eat.

Several more minutes pass and my anxiety grows. What if he's hurt?

Feeling wary, I toss the journal aside and stand. Retreating from the warmth of the fireplace reminds me of just how cold it is. Maybe that's why Maddox hasn't returned. He's lost in the storm.

Once I'm at the front door, I wrench it open, letting in a biting gust of wind. My body trembles and my bones ache from the frozen air. 

A soft drizzle and a few snowflakes are still falling from the gray sky. The wilted grass and dirt roads are covered in a light slush, but there isn't enough snow present to reveal any footprints. I have no idea which way Maddox could've gone.

Ice-encapsulated blades of grass crunch crisply beneath my boots when I make it down the porch steps. I hug my coat more securely around me when the cold rain meets my skin and pause, twisting around for any signs of disturbance.

Half-burned buildings, worn-down fences, and dead gardens surround me, but Maddox is nowhere to be seen.

I take a few wary steps onto the dirt road, and my eyes widen when I realize I'm standing in the same spot Maddox mourned his mother in just after her death all those years ago. Feeling uncomfortable, I scurry off in the direction the little boy in the dream came from—towards the likely lifeless field of marigolds.

"Maddox!" I shout. My words turn to vapor that spills from my mouth and into the atmosphere. I listen for a response but receive nothing of the sort. I let the silence stretch on a few moments longer before yelling much louder this time. "Maddox! Where are you?"

Still no answer. That's... strange.

And there's still no sign of the sword nearby either.

I pull my hood over my head when my ears start to burn from the oncoming winter air and debate on whether I should venture off in search of him or wait it out. 

He may have decided to walk off whatever emotion he was feeling after our disagreement. If that's the case and he wandered off far enough, he wouldn't be able to hear me. But if that's not the case and he needs my help, choosing to wait it out could be a huge mistake.

"Madd—" 

"Help me!" My blood runs cold. I know this voice. "Help!" he shrieks again.

"Orion?" I ask, shouting over the rain. "Is that you?"

He doesn't answer me, but he does scream again. It's an unintelligible, gutwrenching scream that makes me pick my feet up instantly. I take off in the direction of his cries, just past the well that the villagers used to wash away the flames from Maddox's nightmares.

Continuing down the dirt path, I call out for my brother again, but my ears are only met with more bloodcurdling wails of despair. Wherever he is, he is hurt. I don't know how he managed to get back over to this dimension a second time, but his wounds must have only gotten worse in my absence.

I move my feet faster, my heart pounding a mile a minute in my chest as adrenaline kicks in. I still haven't mastered healing, but depending on the state he is in, he might just become a guinea pig. I don't want to risk hurting my little brother, but if his death is assured anyway, it will be worth the risk.

"Orion—"

My voice fades off when something inhuman lets out a deep, monstrous roar. For a second, I think it's the monsters that like to hunt me at night, but when the beast bellows again, I realize whatever this creature is is way bigger and has a deeper roar. 

Fear grips me, but at least it sounds like the creature is miles and miles away from me, and I'm running in the opposite direction of whatever it is.

Another cry of agony rips through Orion's throat just as I leap over a busted-down fence and bolt into a cluster of pine trees. His pained cries get louder and louder as I get closer to the sound.

"Orion?" I question. Still no answer. Why isn't he answering me? He should be able to hear me now. "Orion?" I repeat in a quieter, wary tone. 

My younger brother's soft cries fill my ears as I poke my head around a rather large tree trunk. My eyes scan the deciduous forest for him, but the man I find is too tall and muscular to be my brother. 

Orion's crying stops, replaced by the sound of lazy whistling. Dolion's gray eyes meet mine. His expression is one of dark amusement as he observes me from head to toe.

Is he even real? Is the dimension playing tricks on me? How could he have possibly returned to the second dimension? He's already lost his magic. What Moonborn would willingly throw away their magic for his sake?

I glance around wildly, afraid he might have a friend nearby who means me harm. I don't know if this Dolion Locke is real or not, but either way, it's clear I've been lured into some kind of trap.

The mysterious beast lurking somewhere distant from us rumbles my eardrums again, and Dolion grins at the sound. Either the monster is getting louder... or closer.

I hope Maddox is far, far away from whatever is skulking around out here.

A deep chuckle fills my ears. "You alright, Callie-bear?" he asks mockingly, having no sincerity in his gruff voice.

I narrow my eyes. "Where's Orion?"

He cocks a dark, scarred brow. "Why are you always whining to me about your brother?" he asks with a forced yawn. "Shouldn't you know where he is?"

"I heard him screaming. Where is he?" I demand.

He grins. "Oh, he's not here. I believe this is what you heard."

He raises his hand, palm up and it begins to glow blue with Moon magic. He cups his hand around the side of his face and screams painfully. His voice sounds just like Orion's. My face pales at the realization. 

This is indeed a trap. Dolion tricked me with an illusion spell.

He lets out another guttural shout of anguish. Hearing Orion in such pain, even though it isn't real, still makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. It's such a terrifying and haunting sound. A sound that might actually be heard one day in our Moon Gathering.

"Stop it, Dolion," I snap.

He drops his hand with an eye roll. "Relax, Cals. It isn't real." He pauses, eyeing me mischievously for a moment. "Well, I suppose it was in a sense now that I think about it. Astrid and I tending his wounds wasn't exactly a walk in the park. I can't give my imagination all the credit when I did spend a lot of time becoming quite familiar with his screams."

My heart beats faster. Despite the humor in his tone, his words sound like a threat. Dolion walks forward when I take a step back. My shoes squish unpleasantly into the mud, and this process repeats for about five steps, making my anxiety increase.

Maddox may have healed the bruises Dolion gave me, but the memory of him striking me is enough to keep me on edge. He takes another step in my direction, smirking at my reaction when I continue to retreat.

I give him a warning look. "What do you want?" I ask, sounding exasperated.

He clasps his hands together loudly. "Hmm, I thought you'd never ask," he purrs. "Well, first off, you should know that I'm very angry with you. Second, you or Maddox will be dying today. It'll depend on you if you're the one I choose to spare."

"Why?" I ask slowly, keeping my voice steady despite my shaky nerves.

He releases an ominous, breathy laugh. "I don't handle betrayals very well, Callie, and you betrayed me by coming here."

My brows knit together. If anything, he's the one who betrayed me when he tried to physically drag me back to camp with him. "I... What? You're the one who—"

I stop my sentence short when he pulls a hatchet from his back, whistling again as he twirls it around playfully between his hands. The dagger in my pocket suddenly feels heavier, beckoning me to grasp it. 

I take a tiny step away from the wily man and he stops whistling. "I'm the one who what?" he asks expectantly. His previous humor has been replaced with dark intimidation.

I swallow and with a small voice, say, "Hurt me."

"I hurt you because you didn't listen!" he suddenly shouts, making me jump. His dark eyes hold the most hostile of storms in them, making me uneasy. "I told you not to come here. I told you about Leo, and Maddox and everything that he's done, and you ignored it! I told you my family is in danger because of him, and you just didn't care. Whatever happens to you now is your fault, Calypso!"

My wide eyes don't leave his as the rain continues a gentle trickle. A low boom of thunder shakes the trees, and I think the monster in the distance screeches again, but I don't dare move or speak. And I don't let myself shiver despite how cold it is. I don't even breathe for the longest time until I can't hold it anymore. 

I can't even begin to predict the workings of Dolion's deranged mind, but I am very certain that continuing to flee from him is only going to agitate him further. That, and running from him when he has not only his trusty hatchet but his magic as well would be certain death. 

I saw what his magic was capable of last year in his Moon Gathering, and I have no desire to provoke it.

So, running is a death wish, teleporting without Star magic is impossible in the second dimension, but fighting back isn't completely a lost cause. I just have to be smart about it. I can't impulsively strike at Dolion with his guard up so high.

Feigning regret, I blink at him with sad eyes. "I'm sorry, Dolion." I try to sound as profound as I can without coming across as fake. 

But my apology is anything but genuine. What do I have to be sorry for? I will always do whatever it takes to protect my family, including getting myself out alive from this situation.

His knuckles turn white around the handle of his hatchet, and his eyes narrow in suspicion. "For what?" he spits.

I take a deep breath, then force myself to take several steps forward in his direction. A surprised look graces his features. I clear my throat when I'm just a mere few feet away from him. Too close for him to throw a hatchet.

"I'm just worried about my brother, and I thought Maddox was the only way to save him. I didn't mean to hurt you in the process, Dolion. I'm sorry," I say solemnly, holding his gaze.

My heart is hammering so hard in my chest that I'm sure the only thing drowning out the sound of it is the rain. My hand curves around the hilt of the dagger tucked in my back pocket when Dolion closes the space between us. 

Looming over me now, he glares into my eyes. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't gut you right now, Van Blake?" 

--------- author's note

Hey, all! I hope you all enjoyed the first month of the year!

I just wanted to complain/vent? about this chapter tbh. I struggled to finish this SO MUCH. I rewrote this twice and I'm still not happy with it omggg. Like, I know how I want the next few chapters to go (it's gonna be a doozy, so get ready lol) but this chapter leading into it sucked to write. I felt like the chapter was dragging too much at first, then felt like I was jumping around too much.. I can't get a happy medium ugh! 

I'm leaving it alone finally, but if I end up changing anything I'll let you all know in the next chapters. Thank you for listening to my tangent. I feel better. Hope you all enjoy the chapter though! I'm super excited for you all to read the next one! xo