Chapter 12 Trying Trolls
The woods were dark and the smoke from the fire had bellowed up to smother the stars above our heads as we sat gathered around the large pot of stew. I held my bowl in my lap and sipped at it every so often. The steam reached up and circled it's moist wisps around my face. I remembered when I was young and pretended that steam from hot drinks or foods were smoke from a dragons monstrous muzzle. I missed that. Being naïve and innocent to the ways of the wicked people in this dangerous world.
"He's been a long time." Bilbo spoke. The poor hobbit had been constantly looking out for Gandalf ever since he had disappeared into the woods surrounding us.
"Who?" Bofur asked as he ladled out stew into a couple bowls.
"Gandalf." Bilbo said – sounding quite exasperated that the dwarf didn't even know to whom he was referring.
"He's a wizard, he does as he chooses." Bofur said and held out a couple bowls to Bilbo. "Do us a favor, take these to the lads." Bofur said and Bilbo took the bowls. Bofur then turned and gently slapped Bombur's hand away from the stew. "Stop it; you've had plenty." He said to the red-haired dwarf.
By some strange nature that possessed me, I stood and walked past the two – handing Bombur my stew with a secretive wink and smile before following Bilbo. I fell into step beside him and he turned to me, smiling briefly back at me.
"Would it bother you if I walked with you?" I asked and Bilbo seemed taken aback by my politeness – seeing as the dwarves had always been very blunt and careless – and he smiled crookedly at me in a sweet way that said he found me nice.
"Company would be nice... at least, company that didn't barge into my home unannounced." He said and I smiled, managing a small and quiet laugh.
"Yeah, sorry about that. When Gandalf told me to meet at your home, I really thought he had cleared it with you first." I said, feeling rather stupid about our previous and unannounced party in his home.
"You know him well then? Gandalf, I mean." Bilbo asked Looking sideways at me as we walked down the small hill towards the ponies grazing grounds.
"Not really. I met him a couple times before this little trip – he found me in the woods, interrupted my hunting trip and asked me if I wanted adventure. To tell you the truth I was quite bored." I explained with a small smile and Bilbo nodded.
We stepped down into the edge of the woods, stepping past a pony and finding the two dwarf brothers standing side by side – backs turned to us as they looked after the ponies – stiff as statues. The woods curved around us to form a small clearing and the grass was brittle and patchy from being exposed to the sun.
Bilbo stepped between the brothers and held out the soup to them. To my surprise they didn't even move, not even looking at the steaming bowls of soup. My brow creased as the two remained unspeaking and motionless. Last time they were confronted with food they threw it at each other and danced round the hobbit-hole.
"What's the mater?" Bilbo asked, looking between the two stoic faces of the brothers who looked out over the ponies.
"Were supposed to be looking after the ponies." Kili spoke first; his eyes not leaving the herd of shaggy ponies before us.
"Only we've encountered a slight problem." Fili said turning to glance at me.
"We had sixteen..." Kili spoke, and I surveyed the group, counting them off in my head but coming up short.
"But now there's fourteen."
I hurried about, looking at the ponies and trying hard to remember their names. Myrtle, Minty – thankfully Milquetoast was among them – Clover, Popper, and so on. I wound my way around crooked trees, bent and hunched with age and the weight of fallen branches hanging in the thick tangles of other trees.
I wound my way around the ponies when Kili emerged from beside me. "Daisy and Bungo are missing." He said. Kili's face was fixed in a nervous and serious frown.
"That's not good," Bilbo said with a nervous chuckle, "that's not good at all. Shouldn't we tell Thorin." This – to my mind was a brilliant idea. I opened my mouth to volunteer to go back up and get Thorin or someone to come help us look, but I didn't have the chance to speak.
"Uh – no, let's not worry him." Fili spoke and looked at Bilbo thoughtfully. "We thought – as our official burglar – you might look into it." This was obviously an excuse. I knew how to play with minds though illusion, and tricking someone was just another form of the illusion practices.
"Well, uh..." Bilbo stuttered, "look, something big uprooted these trees." Bilbo said and motioned to the trees. I, myself, turned to the trees that were dramatically upturned.
Kneeling beside the torn roots I ran my hand over the dirtied roots that tangled like hair around my fingers. They were wet and soft – freshly torn. I drew my hand back and looked at my hand stained with the muddied veins and I rubbed my fingers together thoughtfully. I ran through the motions through my head.
Creature – possibly over ten feet tall – walks into the heard of ponies without making a sound –. The trees were weak, traces of root rot fiddling the wood and bits of mold were evidently felt in the mud. If the ponies had been scared then there would have been much more of a commotion, and certainly more than two ponies missing. They were either lured away by something... or someone.
"That was our thinking." Kili said and looked over to meet my amber eyes.
"It's something very big and possibly quite dangerous." Bilbo added and I stood, stretching out my legs and wiping my hand on my shorts, looking at the dwarves.
"My guess is the reason you didn't hear the cause of the uproot was because of the root rot." I motioned to the trees, and looked over at Bilbo. "You're right; It was something big. I'm also guessing carnivorous." I said and nodded to the remaining ponies. "Either they lured the ponies away for food. They're still alive... at least they were when they disappeared." I said and Bilbo raised his brows in shock.
"How do you figure?" Bilbo asked, and I shrugged.
"There is mold on the roots and they are easily torn." I said, and proved my point by gripping a root and wrenching it off without a sound. "There are hardly any people who steal ponies from such a large heard, and if there's only need for two, they'd have known they would have been pursued by a much larger host." I spoke. "I'm guessing they were lured away, most likely to be a food source." I finished and Bilbo nodded, looking around.
"Hey." I turned when I heard Fili speak up in a whisper. "There's a light. Over here. Stay down." Fili said and walked away, followed closely by his brother as they moved stealthily into the woods. I followed suit, and kept my hand on Bilbo's back as we knelt against a fallen tree, looking out towards the light Fili had seen.
It was a faint orangey glow between the trees. My eyes scanned the woods but there was no sign of anything closer. There was chuckling that could be likened to a crow cackle and I narrowed my eyes.
"What is it?" Bilbo asked quietly.
"Trolls." Kili growled and stood, jumping over the log.
Following, I leapt over the fallen log and landed sorting in the underbrush. I followed Fili and Kili and stopped only briefly to make sure Bilbo was following – which of course he was – and I smiled comfortingly at him, but it quickly faded when I felt it; heavy footsteps rumbled across the ground and I winced with anxiety and grabbed Bilbo by the back of his coat and pressed him against a tree trunk, using my body to shield him in case of the troll seeing us out of the dark. I risked a peak over my shoulder and I pressed my lips together nervously.
The troll was almost thirteen feet tall, bulky and covered with thick hide, a whimpering pony under each arm as he lumbered away.
"He's got Myrtle and Minty." Bilbo said and groaned, "I think they're going to eat them; we have to do something." Bilbo said bravely and I looked around the tree but noticed that the dwarves looked at Bilbo simultaneously.
"Yes. You should." Kili said standing up and trading places with Bilbo. "Mountain trolls are slow and stupid," as Kili spoke Bilbo began to wag his finger and protest quietly. "-and you're so small they'll never see you. It's perfectly safe, we'll be right behind you." Kili said taking one of the bowls off Bilbo's hands
"If you run into trouble," Fili spoke, taking the other bowl and pushing Bilbo out into the forest a little, "hoot twice like a barn owl and once like a brown." Fili said and I stepped out with Bilbo to ease his nerves.
"Twice like a barn owl. No, twice like a brown – once like a... are you sure this is a good idea?" Bilbo turned but the two dwarves were long gone. I set my hand on Bilbo's back and I helped him onwards through the dark. I had seen many dark nights and my eyes had grown fond of discerning pieces of the woods.
"Mutton yesterday, mutton today, and blimey if it don't look like mutton again tomorrow!" a voice boomed through the air and I shuddered with the sting of the sound running through my head.
We wove around trees and bushes as the trolls conversed in their camp. "Quit your griping! These ain't Sheep, these is fresh nags!" I saw the troll with our ponies tucked under his arms lumber over to a pen with our other two missing, Daisy and Bungo. He plopped the ponies in and moved around a smaller troll – who had a nasally voice – and sat down hard on a log.
"Aw, I don't like horse – never have – not enough fat on them." The troll snapped.
There were three trolls gathered around a fire with a split over it. Well, this looked familiar. Bilbo was much quieter than I had expected and I had to do my best to keep up with him as he made his way around the camp, the trolls chattering away.
"Well, it's better than leathery old farmer; all skin and bone, he was. I'm still pickin' bits of 'im out of my teeth." A troll with a grease and blood-stained apron said. There was a loud sneeze from the thin and nasally troll, followed by a plopping sound. "Well, that's lovely that is, a floater." The troll with a dirtied apron grunted, and pointed his spoon at the soup. I was almost sure I would puke. I pressed my hand against my mouth and screwed my eyes shut for a moment.
"Might improve the flavor." The one who had taken our ponies said, and I quickly pressed my back behind a tree next to Bilbo for a moment.
"Ah, there's more where that came from." The thin troll said and began to snort loudly as he gathered more of the mucus in mid mouth as if to spit it out into the pot again.
His attempt was thwarted as the troll with the apron grabbed him by the nose harshly. "Oh, no, you don't!" he held the other troll in place a moment while he whimpered and whined. "Sit down!"
The troll sat back on his rock and huffed before pulling out a handkerchief and blowing his nose. Bilbo and I quickly used the window to crouch beside the pony pen and I ran my fingers over the rope and crude fencing – trying to find a knot that could be undone or a latch of sorts. The sneezing stopped and I pressed myself to the fence as the thin troll began to turn towards us.
"Well, I hope you're gonna gut these nags... I don't like the stinky parts." The thin troll said and Bilbo froze with his back against the fence. I didn't move when the troll's gaze had turned to us.
When the troll started to turn back to the fire, he was greeted by a hot metal ladle to his forehead. "I said sit down." The troll with the apron repeated himself sharply and Bilbo began to search around in the dark once more. I had no blade with me, but I did have my charms... Oh, they wouldn't do any good scaring away these monstrous trolls.
"I'm starving! Are we having horse tonight or what?" the horse-nipper spoke loudly and threw his hand in the air with exasperation.
"Shut your cakehole. You'll eat what I give ya." Bilbo quickly tapped my arm and I turned from the ponies to look into his anxious gaze. He wasn't looking at me though, but the trolls. I slowly followed his gaze and looked about. At first, I didn't know what he had seen until the thin troll shifted and I saw that – on his hip – was a knife tied to his belt.
"How come he's the cook? Everything tastes the same. Everything tastes like chicken." The horse kidnapper said with a grumble and began to complain.
"Except the chicken." The thin troll added.
"What tastes like fish!" Said the troll again and I watched as Bilbo got on his hands and knees and began to crawl. What could I do? Absolutely nothing. I was almost petrified by fear, and I stayed where I was. Maybe that was a good thing; if he got caught, I could help him out easily.
"I'm just sayin', a little appreciation would be nice." A horse nickered and I tensed as the aproned troll stopped and lifted his head slightly.
I lifted my hand and quickly whispered, "Tricky sounds in the woods, just tricky sounds... you're all good...?" I winced as I tried to put a rhyme into the spell, quickly remembering in a distraction spell, rhymes were preferred.
I waited a moment and held my breath as a tendril of scarlet and gold drifted over the troll and disappear. "Thank you very much, Bert; lovely stew, Bert. How hard is that?" I released the breath I had been holding and brushed a hand over my wrist as Bilbo made his way slowly along the fence.
Bilbo picked up a bone and winced, setting it back down with a squeamish shudder. I almost shouted for him to duck when I saw the thin troll reach backwards. Bilbo thankfully saw the danger and froze on his hands and knees as the troll reached over him and grabbed a crude mug.
"Just needs a sprinkle of squirrel dung." The cook said and sprinkled something over the stew. I almost gagged aloud. "Here, that's my grog!"
The thin troll whimpered and chuckled nervously with the mug halfway to his lips. "Sorry." He said and set the mug down, rewarded with another spoon to the head. I watched as Bilbo stood behind the thin troll and tried to figure out how to lift the knife off the troll without him noticing.
"Oh, that is beautifully balanced, that is. Wrap your laughing gear round that, eh?" The thin troll gurgled as he drank from the ladle offered to him. "Good, isn't it? That's why I'm the cook."
Bilbo finally clasped his hands around the knife but the troll stood and Bilbo knelt nervously. But the troll did not turn; instead, he used his grubby hand to scratch at his backside. Bilbo made a disgusted face and I shifted on my feet from where I was.
"Oh, me guts are grumbling. I got to snaffle something! Flesh, I need flesh." The thin troll began to shudder with another sneeze as Bilbo stood and tried to get the knife off him, but instead he found himself scooped up with the handkerchief. The troll then blew his nose... all over Bilbo.
"Fickle-de-frack..." I muttered and averted my eyes as the troll jumped to his feet with a yelp.
"Ah! Blimey! Bert! Bert! Look what's come out of me hooter. It's got arms and legs and everything." The thin troll called to the aproned troll.
"What is it?" The pony-pincher asked. I looked back to the trolls and saw they were all looking at Bilbo who was covered in mucus that slid down his jacket and clung to his hair. It was the push I needed. I quickly moved through the trees as the trolls conversed over the strange little thing.
I slid under a crooked branch. Owls... hoot like an owl... I put my hand out to the night sky and furrowed my brow in pain. I focused my attention on every feathered creature in the woods. Searching and reaching out with nonexistent features. Owls. Most of them were a ways away and I wouldn't have time to go find one. I'd have to improvise.
"I don't know, but I don't like the way it wiggles around." I looked over to see the thin troll throw Bilbo to the ground. It was almost comical that such horrible creatures were disgusted at the sight of a snot covered hobbit. Bilbo scrambled to his feet in an instant and the trolls surrounded him.
"What are you then? And oversized squirrel?" the pony thief snapped and pointed a small knife towards Bilbo who shook where he stood.
"I'm a burglar -uh- hobbit." He corrected himself quickly.
"A burglarhobbit?" the thin troll growled and narrowed his eyes at Bilbo.
"Can we cook 'im?" the pony snatcher grumbled and kicked his lips.
"We can try!" the thin troll lunged forward and made a grab for Bilbo who ducked out of the way. His eyes met mine and I waved my hand in a motion that distinctly said 'get your but over here before they kill you'. A large troll jumped out of the tree in front of me with a loud thump and I saw his extra... padding on his stomach shake. He was half turned to Bilbo and was completely blind to my spot only a few feet to the side of him.
"He wouldn't make more than a mouthful, not when he's skinned and boned." The troll knocked Bilbo aside with the ladle.
Bilbo spun around and went stiff as the knife was pressed to his vest by the pony snatching troll. "Perhaps, there's more burglarhobbits round these parts, might be enough for a pie!" with that he pushed Bilbo ducked under the large hands of the other two as they tried to catch him.
"Grab him!" the apron troll shouted.
"He's too quick!" replied the nasally one.
Bilbo made a dash for the woods and I was ready to run with him but a troll snatched him by the legs. "Got ya!" he shouted and held Bilbo up by his legs.
I jumped as the foliage snapped not too far behind me and I whirled around wildly, my hands in fists. I was grabbed my the wrists and I struggled for a moment before I saw Kili's face softly lit in the firelight.
"It's alright." Kili whispered and I nodded. My whole body relaxed before I pushed him lightly.
"You freaking idiots! What were you thinking!? Letting him off like that?" I hissed in a frantic whisper. I pointed through the shrubbery to Bilbo who was struggling to keep his head.
"Stay here." Kili said and burst from the trees. Kili swiped his sword against the thin troll's leg. The shrill scream cut through the air as the troll reeled back, gripping his knee and exposing his underfoot. Kili took the opportunity to swipe upwards and cut the underside of the troll's toes. The troll fell to the ground and gripped his knee and toes; squealing like a pig runt.
"Drop him!" Kili shouted and the trolls looked down at him.
"You what?" The pony-pincher scoffed.
"I said; drop him." Kili hissed, gripping his sword. The troll who had Bilbo by the legs threw him forward and I leapt forward, shooting through the air like a panther and grabbing Bilbo by the middle. The contact knocked the breath out of me as I grabbed Bilbo and turned my back, so I skid across the ground with him on top of me.
I landed hard and puffed loudly. "You okay?" I grunted and Bilbo nodded his head. I rolled him off me and got to my feet. There was a war cry that rose up and a wave of dwarves rushed forward. The company.
Thorin lead the charge past me and I shielded Bilbo as Dwarves peeled around us. There was the shriek of trolls as blades met flesh. I grabbed Bilbo as time seemed to slow down around me. I dodged an arm that swung over us, grabbing Bilbo by the cuff of his sleeve. I pulled him down and under, weaving through the crowd like a spider weaving its tangled web of silky threads that ensnare their pray so easily.
I let go of Bilbo when he was away from the battle and turned back to face the fighting trolls.
"What are you going to do?" Bilbo asked as my arms began to glow. I rolled my shoulders as the pain in my body thrummed.
"Nothing crazy... just stay away from the squirrel dung soup." I muttered and took off at a run. Every moment was calculated and I used my sharp eyes to look for my first opening. A troll fell to his knees, clutching his unmentionables before Dwalin slammed the broadside of his axe into his face – knocking out a few teeth –. Perfect.
Leapt upward onto the back of the troll and I kicked off his back with a grunt of exertion and landed next to the hot fire. Without hesitation I stepped into the flames; picking my way through the fire as the chaos around me erupted. I braced my hands at the bottom of the pot and watched as my hands pulsed with red energy – I could almost pick out every bone in my fingers – and I pushed good and hard. My body ached as the pot shifted and the split creaked. I kicked out with my right leg and splintered the stand, looking around the pot and shouting to Thorin, Bofur and Gloin who were battling the pony-snatching troll.
"Thorin!" I shouted, and saw him turn to me, shock written on his face. "Move!" I shouted and stuck out with my leg once more. The split broke and the pot came slamming down on its side, the hot contents spilling out over the troll who shouted and stumbled backwards. Thankfully the three dwarves had heeded my warning and moved away with only the tips of their shoes drenched in the hot sludge.
I stumbled back out of the fire and was besieged by the fat troll with the apron. It swiped for me and I barely managed to duck away. I grabbed a fistful of flames and watched as they engulfed my palm. I reared back under the swinging fist and struck the side of the troll. His apron caught fire without a second of hesitation and his skin was burned plainly. He shrieked and I staggered backwards. My head was swimming. Too much... too much. I fell to my knees and rasped for breath. My hand burned as the flames went out on my skin, leaving blisters up my hand, though my markings remained the same.
Pushing myself up I looked around to find myself behind most of the dwarves who were trying to back away a little from the fire. Two of the larger trolls had something in their grasp – or rather, someone –.
"Bilbo!" Kili shouted but Thorin grabbed his arm, keeping him away from the three trolls. Two of the trolls held Bilbo up in the air; a large hand wrapped around each of his four appendages.
"Lay down your arms or we'll rip his off!" the troll I had burned with the soup spoke up and I froze, I was invisible to them – hidden in the back – I could escape now while I have a chance, wait around and sabotage their attempts to possibly eat my fellow travelers. The second option wasn't really an option – in my opinion – it would be useless to let myself be killed while I had a chance to do something.
Thorin set his sword in the ground with a clang. I watched as the others furiously set their own weapons down in surrender. This was the perfect opportunity. I hesitantly crept backwards, sinking into the dark woods and letting the shadows surround me and swallow me into the night...
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