"I AM ETERNALLY grateful for this opportunity," Ryan murmured as he regarded her. They were both dressed in far more ordinary clothes than their usual attire. Myrina donned something more similar to what she wore during her days as an acolyte of Hongyun, in light purple silk and only a few pieces of gold jewellery. Her hair was pulled up in a chignon with a plain Chinese rosewood hairpin. It had been her mother's.

  "Well, I could not decline," Myrina replied. Ryan was dressed far differently too, trading his usual expensive robes for a white and blue outfit more befitting of a regular scholar. His hair was tied up in a bun at the top of his head.

  But still, Myrina thought it was quite obvious that a simple scholar was anything but what Ryan was. It was in the way he walked and talked. He did not know how to hide it. He'd never needed to.

  Not that it would affect anything. People who looked at him would assume some young lordling out on a day's trip, and not associate the man before them with the Crown Prince of Sai.

  That was good, because there were no servants with them. Myrina had no idea how Ryan convinced his parents to agree to this. It was such a security risk. Perhaps it was because she was wiccai.

  They put far too much faith in her.

  They left in a simple carriage through the side door of the Scarlet Palace to avoid raising suspicion. It would be difficult to explain otherwise.

  "Where are we going?" Myrina asked patiently.

  "Around the city," Ryan replied earnestly. "I doubt you've had breakfast, so I thought we could start at a teahouse."

  "That would be quite nice," Myrina told him. She was never going to reject good tea, and there were some of the best teahouses in the country in Hong Cheng. Not that it would ever measure up to the tea she was served at the temple, but it was close enough.

  Her standards could not be too high.

  Myrina had a sense of what Ryan was trying to do within today. He was trying to convince her that this didn't have to be all political. It didn't have to be love either, but they could enjoy each other's company and presence, and perhaps start a family. While ruling the empire side by side.

  He was trying to show her that there were plenty of advantages to this. But he was also leaving the final choice up to her in the end.

  That was greatly appreciated.

  Ryan was treating her well. Extremely well. Far better than a few years ago, when he was barely able to speak to her. But those years were still something that was in between them. It was difficult for Myrina to just get over the lack of respect he showed her throughout those times, even if she did understand the reason behind it.

  At the same time, she saw the ways she was suitable for the role. Yet she was also frightened she'd tire of it after some time. She did not share any great and overwhelming loyalty towards Sai. She was not a political mastermind like he or Irina was, and she lacked the true passion for it. She was most definitely interested, the past few months had proven that she had talent in it too, but it was also not something she was sure she wanted to be tied to for the rest of her life.

  He interrupted her thoughts. "When is your brother going to return to Hong Cheng?"

  "He is still doing his studies."

  "Been quite a few years."

  "It is his choice, in the end. He likes the grit and business of Hong Cheng even less than I."

  "You do not seem to mind it much nowadays."

  "No," she agreed. "Not nearly as much as I did before. There is still silence within all the bustle, I just need to seek it often enough, that is all."

  "That is a good way around it."

  "I suppose so," she sighed. "The idea of remaining in Hong Cheng has turned from absolutely unbearable to something I could consider in the past few years. It is not because Hong Cheng has changed, of course."

  "But you have."

  "You disliked me intently back in those days."

  "I couldn't comprehend it," he admitted. "I couldn't comprehend how you could allow everything to just happen to you without even trying to fight back. It seemed ridiculous to me. You are much like you were in those earliest days now, when you first arrived at the Scarlet Palace. Still the peacekeeper, still trying to avoid the conflict. But when you were wronged, you'd still at least fight back."

  "I think I lost the meaning to live," she told him quietly, feeling the jolt of the carriage, "in those days after my father died and I was trapped here."

  "Do you hate Irina? For what she did?"

  "She had her reasons," Myrina pondered aloud. "It was not a decision I would prefer her to make, if we had to go through it again. Honestly, I do not know. I think everyone turned out alright in the end, but she'd also stripped me of something I thought I wanted to do for the rest of my life and trapped me with responsibilities I desperately wanted to escape."

  "You have not forgiven her, then."

  "I forgave her a long time ago, I think. She thought it was right. And, well, Irina's always... she's always struggled to care for other people the way she did for Sai."

  "She is the most patriotic of us all. Even more patriotic than me, I think, and I am Sai's future ruler."

  "She can be cold and uncaring. And she struggles to understand other people's feelings. She thinks everyone should be as rational and cool as she is and fails to understand why we do not sometimes make the most rational choice. She is one of the few people I know who can truly eliminate any personal feelings for what she believes is the greater good."

  "Yet," Ryan mused, "she was adamant not to marry Prince Stephen at first."

  "I do not think it was because of selfish reasons, now that I think back. Irina did not want to marry Prince Stephen not because of any other reasons, but merely because, well," Myrina shook her head, "she did not want to leave Sai. She knew if she left Sai she would be unable to partake in its politics and contribute to it the same way as before. I think that was why she was so against it at the start. But gradually, she became resigned to it."

  "She saw how it benefited us."

  "Yes. She is a great person. Anyone, I think, who is able to put themselves into a political marriage and marry far away for the sake of their country is a great person. I've always admired the princesses in our history who have been married to foreign kingdoms in the name of peace. But it does not mean she does not have her character flaws."

  "She can be a hypocrite sometimes."

  "We can all be," Myrina laughed. "You and I have been no less hypocritical than she has been on many occasions."

  The carriage came to a halt. She raised a brow, pushing the curtain open slightly to glance outside. "We are here."

  "Wonderful." Ryan got out first, assisting her as she followed. The tea house he'd selected was a fairly popular one, and it was already crowded despite it being early in the morning. Ryan must have called beforehand, because no questions were asked as the two of them were led to a private room on the second floor with an excellent view of the show that was happening downstairs. It was jing ju, a type of Saian opera.

  "Would you like some food?" Ryan asked.

  "A bit of dimsum would be appreciated. Any is fine."

  Ryan gave a nod before setting orders. Myrina wondered who the waiters and owners of the tea house thought they were. They must be curious to death. She wouldn't be surprised if some of them chose to eavesdrop later. She'd be careful with what she said, though she was sure she'd hear if anyone did try to listen in.

  But she doubted he'd brought her out here to discuss politics and state secrets. They would be alright, even if someone eavesdropped. The lie that she was already his fiancee was not yet public knowledge, instead kept hushed among some of the nobles, but even if someone heard, they should dare not spread it.

  Not that it would hurt anything much. It might be slightly harmful to her reputation, but with the imperial family on her side, they'd be able to settle it with another lie very quickly. There was nothing for her to worry about.

  The food arrived quickly. Far quicker than it usually did when Myrina came here, and especially when she came here in disguise. Myrina picked up one of the pak choi and pork buns and started tearing off pieces to eat. Ryan did the same.

  Below, the performers were singing some opera. Myrina had never quite gotten into it. But it was still fascinating, watching the performers in their colourful makeup and large costumes dance around the stage while belting out melodies that could be heard everywhere in Sai.

  "My parents sometimes call this trope into the Palace to perform for them in private," Ryan offered. "I used to get dragged to it when I was younger. It's been many years since I've seen them."

  "I was not aware of that."

  "Well, it's not anything worth noting." After a moment, he continued, "Have you given any thought to it?"

  "Not much, no. I've been busy."

  "Well. Have you thought about who you would recommend in the case you reject me in the end?"

  "Not precisely either, my lord. I've been preoccupied."

  He pulled a face. "That's unfortunate."

  "Very, my prince."

  "Well, I have. And I came up with almost no other options that's personally acceptable to me."

  Myrina raised a brow. "That is not surprising."

  "No, it is not."

  "Yet I do not understand," Myrina sighed. "Do entertain me, Your Highness. Less than a year ago, you quite thoroughly despised me."

  "I did not despise you," Ryan said, shaking his head, "though the way I treated you was still incorrigible. I hated who you'd become. I'd admired who you were when we were much younger, and it felt like I was watching you slowly diminish into a husk of a person. I did not know how to face you like that."

  "Somedays, I think, I did feel like no more than a husk."

  He nodded. "I could tell. It made me extremely unhappy."

  "I suppose I cannot precisely blame you for being angry, but at the same time, the way you treated me... It made me quite upset some days. I remember crying and complaining about it to Irina somedays."

  He glanced at her in surprise. "I was never aware of that."

  "Well, it is natural that she'd want to hide that from you."

  "She did tell me to try and get along with you. But I did not realise it was ever that serious. I apologise."

  "It is alright," she held up one hand. Below, the singers finished one song and hurried into the next scene. She watched the transition for a moment longer before turning to him. "But we are not here to settle old scores."

  "No," he agreed. "I've been brainstorming for this very conversation, really."

  "Oh? Then do share your points. I'm most curious to hear them."

  "I'm aware that marrying me might just go against everything you've ever wanted in your life."

  "That does not help your case," Myrina said lightly.

  "But at the same time, I've also realised that you are the only suitable candidate for the position."

  "How so?"

  "You are brave and strong, and you know the plights of the people better than any noble-born woman would. Your life has not all been in sheltered palaces and mansions. You've lived among the ordinary people, in the temples. And you did not have a good life, even with your own family."

  "That is all true," Myrina murmured, "yet it is hardly enough reason."

  "You're politically cunning. You do enjoy it, do not lie. You greatly enjoy things being in your control, and you get satisfaction from managing things. Will you truly be content, retiring to the countryside, managing your own little piece of land?"

  "The earldom of Li Han is hardly little," Myrina laughed.

  "But compared to the Eastern Palace there is little to do, and compared to the entirety of Sai there is very little land indeed. Marrying me allows you a place to show off all your talents. And I'll be there for you. I promise to support the decisions you make."

  "And what if I grow bored of that life of cunning and trickery and plots and schemes? What happens then?"

  "If that happens, you are free to retreat into the inner palace. If that does not fit your fancy, you are much welcomed to live in the Mai Estate for a prolonged period of time. We could lie and say that it is because you have poor health and need to recover. You only need to return during the most important festivals. Either way you'd have to do that anyways."

  Myrina stayed silent for a moment, tilting her head. "My family, while strong and historical, do not support me. I am, I think, estranged from a majority of them. And my mother's side is long dead."

  "That is good, is it not?" Ryan asked, shaking his head. "One thing all of our monarchs have feared is the family of the Empress interfering in politics. There have been many cases of rebellions instigated by the Emperor's in-laws throughout history."

  "Yes, I suppose that does make me a safe choice," Myrina murmured. "I can be sensitive, and I am a quiet person. I do not excel in diplomatic situations where I am required to be charming and charismatic."

  "I think I'm charismatic enough for both of us," Ryan chortled. "You do not need to worry about that. You do not even need to show up to those at all if you truly do not wish to."

  "That would seem quite rude, would it not?"

  "I can make excuses for you," he promised. "And most Empresses in history have not been my mother. Most of them have refrained from participating in politics. No one would blame you if you truly did want to return to that, though I personally would prefer you to remain by my side in court."

  "I will," Myrina agreed, "if I do marry you. I would not fully retire from this. I do not think I can. It is quite addicting, I've realised."

  "Addicting, yes," Ryan said with a smile. "That is what it is." He knew he was winning, bit by bit. Perhaps he'd already guessed that Myrina had already more or less convinced herself, and now just needed one last push.

  "Any other reasons?" Myrina asked, tilting her head. "I'd like to hear them all before I make my final choice, I think."

  "Well, my parents very much approve of you. And, as I've already mentioned plenty of times, you're already a part of my inner circle. We understand each other fairly well. We'd make excellent partners."

  "Any more?"

  "And," he said now in a quieter voice. "I think we've both established that I am quite attracted to you."

  Myrina did not say anything to that at first, waiting a beat before saying, "I am no great beauty. In fact, I'd almost consider myself plain besides the likes of Irina and Iolanthe."

  "You may not be as beautiful as them, but you are very attractive in your own right. Your beauty is one most of the young ladies of Sai would like very much to imitate, but always fail to. The elegance, the quiet sense of bookliness. Your features may not be sharp and your beauty may not be one that creates an instant sense of admiration, but anyone who spends more than a minute near you gradually learns to see your attractiveness, Myrina."

  "Such pretty words."

  "Not just pretty, but also true. I do not want a loveless marriage, Myrina."

  "I do not love you." She said this firmly. "At the present moment, I do not think I possess any kind of love towards you. I am fond of you, yet, and I do find you handsome—always have—but I do not love you."

  Ryan nodded. "I do not think I love you right now either, but I think if there is a bit more time, I will learn to do so."

  "I am not a woman who can accept infidelity. I know it is normal among the nobility, but it is not for me."

  "My father was the one who abolished the laws of a man being able to take concubines. You have my word that I will be faithful to you."

  That aligned with his character. There seemed to be no one less likely to be unfaithful. She did not truly worry about that.

  "I am a pious, religious woman. I will pray regularly, fast during some days and perform all the duties I owe to Hongyun."

  "That works perfectly fine by me," he said earnestly. "In fact, it is a point in your favour, rather than against it. My parents have alienated the religious among our people, I think, by their indifference towards it. You know my stance towards it as well. It would bode well for our country shall I take a wife who shares firm religious beliefs."

  Myrina tilted her head. "I do not wish for my devotion to be used for a political chess piece."

  "Nothing like that," he promised. "I only need you to host the religious festivals. Harvest Festival, the Birthday of Hongyun, those sorts of things."

  "I am fine with that," Myrina nodded. "I am allowed to, I think. I was only an acolyte, but I think the abbess will be more than happy to give me permission to host some events past my station. If not, I can assist the priestesses."

  He thought for a little bit before saying, "You seem to be quite comfortable with the idea of it now."

  "I think I have more or less convinced myself," she said honestly. "I'm just trying to get my last few reasons for hesitance settled before giving a final answer."

  "And how am I performing so far?"

  "Very well," she gave him a little smile. "You are doing an excellent job of convincing me."

  "I'm not the one convincing you," he laughed. "You did that to yourself a long time ago, I think. I'm just making sure you're comfortable with it. For all you may act like such a sensitive thing, you're a very rational creature."

  "Well, being around someone like Irina for so long has its effects on you."

  Ryan shook his head in disagreement. "No. You've always been rational. Even before you became so close with Irina."

  "I don't think I ever needed to use my rationality until then," she replied softly.

  "It is nice, isn't it? Being protected by your family and friends. But we're not offered that luxury forever. And you, I think, you were stripped of it far too early."

  "It took me many years to adjust," she agreed. "Far too many years."

  "The normal amount of years," Ryan said. "You just didn't want to accept it."

  "Who would?"

  And that was the truth. Ryan knew that as well as she.

  "Well," he continued, clearing his throat, "do you have any other complaints that I may settle?"

  She let out a light laugh, tossing her head back. Her attention had left the opera singers long ago, and Ryan's never seemed to have been on them in the first place.

  "Does the ceremony have to be grand?" she asked, crossing her arms. "I am not fond of too big a crowd or too much noise. I would prefer it to be quiet."

  When she turned to look at him, he was smiling. "Is that agreement?"

  "Answer my question first."

  "No," he replied, leaning backwards. "It does not have to be grand. It can be very simple if you want it to. A feast would be necessary, of course, but we can only invite some people. I think everyone's gotten tired of the grand celebrations after Irina's entire ordeal."

  "I agree, then."

  He let out a breath of relief. "Sai will have the most wonderful Princess Consort and future Empress."

  "No," Myrina said, slowly shaking his head, meeting his gaze. Her lips were twisted upwards in a slight smile. "Not just Sai. We are not just doing this for the future of Sai."

  "To us, then. And to the future."

  "Hear, hear, Ryan Gu."

THE END.
(28th September 2022-26th April 2023)