After what happened with Gambit, a trip to visit her men was long overdue. Despite all of her training and teaching and, regrettably, hiding, Zelina made it a point to slip away from the Temple so that she could see the 105th. Yoda had advised caution while traveling outside the Temple, considering her current social status, but he hadn't forbidden she step outside of the Temple-otherwise she wouldn't have been allowed to go say goodbye to Obi-Wan as he headed for Utapau.

That didn't mean she was going to be stupid and reckless while out and about Coruscant-she was well aware that some people believed her to be a traitor, and considering she'd seen the Ruusanian prisoner transport blow up right before her eyes, she was also well aware of the fact that the people weren't going to be shy about acting on their frustrations if they felt strongly enough about it.

Considering the outcry that was currently plaguing her, there were plenty of people on Coruscant who felt strongly and negatively about her.

With that danger in mind, Zelina made her trip to Coruscant's military base quick and to the point, avoiding the more populated routes and traffic to the best of her ability without exposing herself out in the open too long. She hadn't realized how paranoid she was over this mess until she found herself watching any speeder that came within a hundred mile radius like it was a droideka she'd just spotted headed in her direction.

Even at the base, she wasn't oblivious to the looks she received from soldiers who had never worked with her, who didn't know her outside of the recent accusations surrounding her. It made her uneasy, something she never thought she'd feel around the Republic's soldiers, and she doubled her pace to the section of the base that housed her 105th.

She was spotted as soon as she walked through the door into the first section of hallways bunking the lower ranking soldiers. A cacophony of 'General' followed her, and she made it a point to give a warm smile and a nod to every soldier she passed, murmuring her own greetings. The sudden switch in atmosphere, from constant, suspicious eyes, sometimes even accusing, to warm welcome, acceptance, and trust, was one she hadn't even realized she'd been so devoid of recently.

She kept going until she reached the officer and arc-trooper quarters, unable to help her gaze from drifting in the direction of Gambit's quarters.

"General Du'ahn!" came a familiar voice, and Zelina turned to see Cruiser approaching her with deep-seated concern etched on every feature. "We weren't expecting you here-has something happened?"

"No more than what's becoming the usual," Zelina said with a grimace. "I found time to slip away from the Temple so I could come visit the men. I've been wanting to ever since what happened to Gambit," Zelina finished quietly.

Cruiser's countenance softened considerably. "It's much appreciated, Ma'am."

Zelina nodded towards the few who had stuck their heads out of their rooms to see what was going on. "Why don't you scrounge up a sabacc set and whoever wants to come, and we'll go have a night out on me to celebrate him?"

"Sounds like the kind of night out he'd want us to have," Cruiser remarked, and he left the room to start gathering some attendees and the sabacc set she'd requested.

**************************************************

Zelina had a limit for how many drinks she could buy for her men before she couldn't afford it anymore—or rather, before she reached the point she'd be receiving a scolding from the Council over how much of Jedi finances she'd spent on drinking and leisure time for her men. It had already been agreed that was about the point that the betting would start to include exemption from the bill. Zelina was already exempt considering she'd already be paying the majority of the bill. Her men were picking up anything that went over her limit.

When they'd settled at a large table to play, Zelina had almost instantly been called out.

"No Jedi trickery, all right, General? It's an unfair advantage," Nex insisted.

"I promise, no unfair use of the Force during these games," Zelina replied, holding a hand over her heart mostly for show.

"I don't feel like losing most of what little credits I already have cause you're reading all our bluffs in that mystical Force of yours," Keen-eye muttered bitterly.

"Still salty over that, Keen-eye? You shouldn't have bet so much with such a terrible hand."

Keen-eye only grumbled a few curses under his breath in response.

***********************************************

After several tries, their waitress had also accepted that while all the boys were going to be drinking, Zelina wasn't going to touch a single glass. She had to turn the woman's offer for Zelina to have a round as well as the boys down several times before it became clear to the woman that she wasn't going to be taking any drinks.

When their current round ended, Bruiser being the surprise winner of the pot, Zelina stopped everyone from jumping into the next round while she saw a brief window.

"All right, all right, while I'm sure some of you are very happy with your winnings and some would very much like to have more chances to leave with a little more," Zelina said with a laugh, nodding towards Pollix who was grumbling about only having a few credits left to bet. She sobered quickly. "I'd like to take a moment to make a toast to the person we're all here for. I know I don't have a drink to toast with, due to one of my many quirks, but that doesn't mean I can't say anything."

Zelina straightened, looking around at the collection of now somber faces. "To Gambit. A fiercely loyal man, a friend, a brother, and a soldier who was never afraid of taking risks...may he finally find some peace," Zelina said softly.

"To Gambit," came a chorus of voices, quickly followed by the chinking of glasses ranging from nigh empty to nearly full.

And may his murderer come to justice, Zelina added in her mind, not daring to say it aloud even in the company of her men.

********************************************

It was late by the time Zelina and her men decided to leave the bar. The majority of the 105th who had come were drunk or at least buzzed, and it had been decided that they would move together as a group lest one of them get lost in Coruscant's bustling streets and alleys. It was like a collective buddy system installed to make sure they all made it back home without incident, with Zelina being the completely sober teacher trying to keep all the students in line.

"Cruiser, help Bruiser, I think he's about to start making out with the pavement if he's left to his own devices any longer," Zelina said in amusement, watching as the trooper in question tilted dangerously forward as he stumbled along near the back of the group.

Hardball giggled. "That rhymes."

"Nice of you to notice, Hardball," Zelina murmured, helping a staggering Pollix near the outside middle of the group. The poor guy had lost a lot of credits tonight—she'd held him exempt from helping with the remainder of the bill because she felt bad for how much his wallet was hurting right now. Hence why he too was almost incapable of walking forward as they left the cantina that was apparently a favorite for Republic soldiers, as there were a sea of military uniforms of varying styles and colors, with a healthy smattering of regular civilians.

"C'mon, Pollix, let's get you back to the base so that you can sleep this off—at least then your head might hurt worse then your bank account does right now," she couldn't help but joke, pleased when the man momentarily stood on his own, even though she knew it was from a bought of liquid objection.

"Am fin," he slurred.

"Sure you're fine, Pollix. Sure you are."

"General!" Keen-eye suddenly said, his tone much different than the jovial nature it had been most of the night. Zelina turned her head to look at the man in question, the hairs on the back of her neck suddenly standing on edge as a chill went down her back.

Something's wrong—

"Get down!"

Keen-eye's voice again. Zelina's body had already started to respond to a threat she could not see, though before she could throw herself aside, another trooper—Dash—collided with her, knocking her to the ground and covering her with his own semi-armored form.

A tremble went through the ground, heat flashed through the air, burning her exposed cheek as her ears rang from the proximity of a noise she hadn't even truly heard.

There was smoke obscuring her vision, Dash still atop her, pinning her down as shouting filled the air, distant with the ringing. She was sure there were troops running around, trying to figure out what was happening, doing as they were trained and locking down the area, surveying, seeing what just happened.

Zelina coughed, sending a weak pulse in the Force out to blow back the smoke without disturbing any soldiers that might be nearby. A muffled groan sounded in her ear from Dash, telling her he was still alive, despite whatever had just happened.

As her gaze focused on the scene that was within her limited range of vision as she lay flat on the ground covered by one of her men, Zelina sucked in a sharp breath.

Pollix lay on the ground just within reach, body badly burned and scorched, and small fragments of shrapnel of some sort embedded in his face, throat, and upper shoulders. His eyes were wide, fixated on hers as his mouth barely moved, forming, or perhaps only attempting to form words she couldn't hear.

Still disoriented, Zelina reached out with one hand towards Pollix, managing to find his own, the flesh feeling strange and rough against hers. She ignored the sensation, clasping his hand in her own without breaking eye contact.

"Pollix," Zelina managed to murmur, the word sounding warped from submersion with her ringing ears, though the ringing had subsided, everything just sounding underwater now, distant and echoing.

Healing. You can heal. Heal him...

The thought swirled in her mind as Pollix's eyes glassed over, and Zelina struggled to pull herself free from under Dash, holding tight to Pollix's limp hand as she reached out with her other hand in an attempt to do something.

"Ma'am...nothing...gone...General..."

The words were hard to make out from the echoing she was currently experiencing, and she blinked her eyes rapidly to try and regain focus, finding herself leaning over Pollix with his hand still in hers.

Medic, they needed a medic.

"Nick...Nick can..." she started to murmur. Whoever was speaking to her knelt down right beside her, speaking directly in her ear to communicate their words.

"Nick's not here, General. Besides, there's nothing...nothing anyone can do. He's gone."

That was...Keen-Eye, perhaps? Yes, it was Keen-eye speaking to her.

"Who else?" she asked, still disoriented as her hearing slowly came back to her, and the shock wore off, Zelina expanding her surveillance of the scene beyond Pollix, whose hand she still held, looking around to see Republic soldiers pushing civilians back from the scene, some lying on the grounds in various form of injury, though none as serious as Pollix's, and not all 105th members.

She looked behind her to see Dash's armor seemed scorched, but the burns to his actual body seemed minimal when Zelina reached out with her free hand to try and heal, to take away some of his pain, perhaps spare him from some scarring as well.

"Dash is hurt, some shrapnel got Bruiser, Cruiser's a little burned—"

"What—" she started to ask, but before she could, Hardball appeared in her line of vision, armor looking lightly scorched by the blast but the man himself appearing relatively unhurt.

"General, we have to get you out of here. In case there wasn't just one..." he said urgently. When Zelina didn't immediately move or respond, his voice garnered a sharper tone. "Ma'am!"

"We're not leaving him in the middle of the street," Zelina said in a surprisingly strong voice, gesturing towards Pollix before she moved to try and get a better grip on him. "Help me—"

"Someone else will take care of Pollix. You were the target, General—you need to leave. Now. Before there's another attempt," Keen-eye said firmly, covering her hand with his own to pry Pollix's grip from his hand.

"Cruiser—"

"He'll be fine, come on," Keen-eye said in a forceful tone, managing to get Zelina on her feet before he passed her off to what seemed to be an unharmed Sentry—who had been at the front of their group. Sentry helped her into one of the speeders that they had taken to the cantina, and before Zelina had entirely recovered from the disorientation caused by the blast, they'd left the scene far behind.

******************************************

The healers in the Temple's Halls of Healings deemed Zelina largely unharmed. There had been no permanent sensory damage, though her hearing was going to be finicky for a few hours before the drugs she'd been given kicked in and finished doing their job. There had been a nasty burn on her right cheek and the back of her right hand, the only parts really exposed to the blast created by a thermal detonator since Dash had been atop her to shield her from the worst of the explosion. The disorientation was lingering, but she was told it would pass soon. Zelina herself was still feeling off-put even after being treated, and she found herself making her way back to her apartment without informing anyone of her well-being other than a slightly groggy message to Cruiser stating she was going to be all right after some rest, hoping that her Commander would recover before she did and relay her state of being to the other men.

Anakin was an entirely different subject that she wasn't ready to tackle right now. If she was lucky, she'd be able to rest and recover before he heard about what had happened, and she'd be able to reach out to him when she was ready.

With her recent streak of luck, that probably wasn't going to be how things went, but she could at least hope, couldn't she?

Still in shock, slightly disoriented, and utterly drained, not to mention rather drugged with painkillers, Zelina barely managed to make it to her room and into her bed before she passed out.

**********************************************

There was a blistering heat that fluctuated between searing her skin and smothering her, ash and smoke that choked the breath from her lungs, distant screams and the sound of war, of blasters and lightsabers, panic and shouted, conflicting orders.

Despite these assaults on Zelina's senses, she could see nothing—not yet anyway. There was just blackness, possibly the ash and smoke obscuring her vision?

Words started to pierce through the veil of blackness and confusion, echoes of the past, cloying the air around her.

"...have you been taking care of my little Ani?"

Shmi's voice seemed to slip past her, Zelina turning to try and catch a glimpse of the woman considering how loudly the words had echoed in her ear, but nothing came into focus through the haze. Another voice echoed around her, however. This time, it was Luke's voice.

"You must help him, you need to protect him."

Whispers seemed to rustle the air around Zelina as Luke spoke, strands of her hair whipping her face and causing her cheeks to sting, the second whisper louder than the first.

"Don't let me fall..."

"Save me!"

Zelina cried out as the darkness around her took on a reddish hue, the burning in the air intensifying to the point she could feel flames licking at her legs and arms.

"What if the worst happens, and you're not there?" Anakin's voice demanded from the shadows.

"Your life is at great risk because of your connection to him."

The ethereal voice of the Father was quickly followed by the Luke's voice once again, the voice that haunted her dreams with its sorrow and pain.

"You could be my protector, my guardian, my teacher...or not be there at all."

"Considering you're my best friend...the only way I see you not being in my son's life is if you died. And that...that is what has me so scared for you, Zee...knowing that you very well could die at any point, and I'd be powerless to stop it."

"Fire!" came the sharp command from the darkness, and there was a sudden brief, explosion of light as blaster fire pierced the fiery darkness. In her minds eye, Zelina saw Gambit cut down by a firing squad, seconds after she'd arrived, snatched away before she could even attempt to save him.

Anakin's voice came, loud and clear through the darkness again. "I wasn't strong enough to save you...but I promise; I won't fail again."

Suddenly she couldn't breathe—the ash and smoke was cloying, suffocating, cutting off her airways as fire appeared below her feet, turning the floor to magma. She tried to run, to escape the flames, but she didn't know which way to go, and the flames remained right behind and sometimes below her.

Luke and Anakin's voices intermingled around her, coming in a dizzying cacophony of sound as Zelina lost her balance and fell to the ground, gasping for air, crying from the heat, the flames...

"He was just trying to protect me, and mommy, and..."

"Why did she have to die? Why couldn't I save her? I know I could have!"

"There's nothing, or darkness and I...it's so dark...there's no light...I'm all alone."

"It's so cold...don't let it take me, please! Don't let me die!"

Someone was screaming, dying, the agony swallowing their existence as it burned out a light in the galaxy. Zelina was pretty sure it was her, considering the pain she was in. How strange to hear yourself screaming like that, as if it was someone else...

"Father, please!"

No, not just someone...and she could hear...she could hear—

"Anakin!" Zelina screamed.

*********************************************

Zelina leapt from her bed in such a panic that she found herself caught in blankets, palms burning as she skidded across the carpeting, her tangled legs in the sheets holding her lower half at an awkward angle as she gulped in air. Arms trembled in the darkness, sweat mixing with the tears on her face as she tried to regather herself, her burned cheek stinging from the salt of her tears.

Anakin!

Her scream still reverberating in her ears, Zelina reached up blindly for the comm unit she kept on her night stand. Her other trembling arm couldn't support her properly, and Zelina gave a sharp cry as she fell to the ground, faceplanting into the carpet on her injured cheek.

If she wasn't careful, that was going to leave a scar—but it wasn't the most important thing on her mind right now.

With a few seconds of struggle, Zelina managed to free her legs from the tangle of sheets and blankets, shifting so her back was against her night stand as she reached back, feeling for her comlink.

As soon as it was in her hand, Zelina was putting out a call to Anakin, suddenly feeling the intense need to see that he was all right, that everything she'd just witnessed had in fact been a dream. She had a flash of guilt as she realized it was probably the middle of the night, which meant he was asleep, very likely asleep with Padme at her apartment.

It took a few moments, which felt like hours in Zelina's current state of being, but eventually she was rewarded for her frazzled patience with the sound of Anakin's sleepy voice.

"Zee...? What time is it?" The last part was mumbled under his breath, probably not directed at her so much as the nearest device that would show him the time. "Is something wrong?"

Zelina sagged against the night stand, surprising herself as she had to muffle a sob at the sudden overwhelming relief that he was all right. If they were both all right, it had just been a dream.

Her strange silence seemed to cause him alarm, as his voice was more alert when he spoke again. "Zelina?"

"Anakin...I know it's the middle of the night," Zelina said in a shaky voice. "But I...could I see you? It—it can't wait until morning."

There was another slight pause as Anakin processed the tone of her voice and her request. "Okay...okay, where do you want to meet?"

"Anywhere," Zelina said, almost too desperately for her liking. "I just—"

"Alright, okay, I'll...I'll meet you in the Thousand Fountains. In that private corner you gave me your Padawan Braid, okay? You can tell me what's going on then," Anakin said in a soothing tone.

"Okay...okay, I'll see you there," Zelina said, taking a few calming breaths as she tried to regather herself.

It took her a moment to realize the transmission had ended before she staggered to her feet, going into her refresher to splash a few handfuls of cold water on her face. She did it partially to wake up, and partially to wash the sweat and tears from her face. After that she threw on a fresh set of nightwear, pulled her nearly-black robe around her and lifted the hood to hide her face before she left her Temple apartment, making a break for the spot Anakin had agreed to see her in.

She arrived first—understandably, if Anakin had indeed been spending the night at Padme's—and found herself unable to sit, instead choosing to pace in front of the fountain rather than attempt to let the sound of the small waterfalls and fountains around her sooth her nerves.

There was only one thing that could calm her right now.

"Zelina?"

Zelina's head snapped up as Anakin appeared around the corner, making his way towards her with a disheveled, wary countenance. He'd hardly made it a few steps towards her before Zelina all but threw herself at him.

"Whoa, hey, what's..." Anakin's first worried question died on his lips when Zelina's hood fell back to reveal her bacta'd cheek, and a quick check over her person also revealed the similar patch on her hand, and the tremble he could clearly feel emanating from her. "Zelina, what happened?" he asked in a more serious, slightly less confused tone, one hand touching her cheek before he turned his attention to inspecting her hand.

Zelina blinked, momentarily thrown off track. She'd had her nightmare at the front of her mind in such clarity, she'd momentarily forgotten the atrocity that had happened before she'd gone to sleep. "I...some of the men and I went out to celebrate Gambit, I thought it'd be good for them, and when we were leaving there was an attack..."

The absentminded way she spoke made Anakin's concern deepen, the emotion coming off of him so thick that Zelina almost felt it as her own.

"Zelina you're not acting like yourself," Anakin said worriedly, guiding her to sit on the fountain's edge beside her. "Start from the beginning and tell me everything that's happened—starting with going out tonight," he said carefully.

Once again, Zelina attempted to gather her wits, taking several deep breaths and thinking about what she wanted to say before she started to speak.

"Like I said, we went out to celebrate Gambit—Cruiser, Nex, Hardball, a bunch of us—I hadn't seen them since he was executed and I thought they might need it. We went to a cantina, one of the ones that are popular with the troops, they had some drinks, we all played sabacc, and then we left. But when we were leaving, there was...someone threw a thermal detonator..."

Saying it now, free from the disorientation and the shock of the moment, suddenly made the event much more real, and Zelina felt the trauma and the loss that had eluded her in the confusion suddenly grip her, her throat tightening as she struggled to get the words out to Anakin.

"Keen-Eye saw it happen, I didn't, but Dash pushed me to the ground when someone threw the detonator at us—me. At me—and I only got some...some disorientation, ringing ears, these two burns, that was it. Dash was burned pretty bad, most of the men were scorched to some degree, Cruiser caught some shrapnel...Pollix...Pollix was killed...damn it..."

Zelina felt tears slipping down her face, and she tried to cover it up with a hand, her knee-jerk response of frustration when she cried eliciting her swear. She felt Anakin's hand on her back, but this wasn't even why she'd called him here. This was just the precursor to what had really driven her to her current state. She wasn't done talking.

"He died right next to me, I was holding his hand when he..." Zelina furiously pressed the back of her hand against her eye as if it would make the tears stop, rubbing vigorously against the skin that wasn't covered by the bacta patch and held the evidence of her tears. "They were targeting me, whoever it was. I'd probably be dead like Pollix if it hadn't been for Dash. I felt the warning, but it was too late, I hadn't even started to throw myself aside when Dash collided with me, and now I don't know how many of my men are injured, with one dead, because of me, because of this mess, and I don't know how many because they had to get me out of there before there was any follow-up attacks that could have been more successful."

"Zelina..." Anakin started to say in a sympathetic tone, but she cut him off.

"And that's not even why I called you—that happened hours ago, I was going to talk about it in the morning, but I..."

Zelina trailed off, suddenly struggling with the entire reason she'd woken Anakin up in the first place, what had sent her into a panic that made her need to see him.

Anakin's hands gripped her arms, turning Zelina to face him entirely where he sat next to her on the fountain. "What else, Zelina? Please, tell me, whatever it is, if it's as bad as it seems, you need to talk about it, you need to tell me," Anakin said seriously.

"I had a dream," she murmured, and she felt Anakin's hands instinctively tighten. She shook her head vigorously, pulling free of his grasp as she rose to her feet to start to pace again. "Not a vision, just a dream. And now that I saw that out loud, I feel stupid for waking you up and dragging you all the way out here for nothing. It was just a dream..."

"Whatever it was, Zelina, it scared you. Please, tell me."

"It's just...with everything going on...I was told to protect you so much by so many people, but then I also kept hearing that I was in danger, that I could very well die, and then that makes me worry about you and what would happen to you, and then I get worried about Padme and Luke, if Luke's going to be okay, if I'm going to be able to change whatever's had him so scared, and then I think of all this darkness in the galaxy right now...and now I've got a target on my head that's already claimed the lives of two of my men and I know the Council said they would support me and they've done it so far but how much longer can they before the Senate is putting more pressure on them than it's worth to protect one single Knight in their ranks, and they can't protect me from the public that's made it very clear they want me dead, but if something happens to me then I can't help you or Padme and I know if something were to happen to me it would hurt you and that makes me afraid of what you might do or what might happen to you if I were to get hurt or worse if I were to—"

"Stop," Anakin said firmly, rising to his feet and forcing her to stop her pacing, grabbing her by the shoulders. "Zelina, you're not going to die, the Council...the Council isn't going to hand you over to the Republic, you're going to be fine."

He said it, but she wasn't entirely sure he believed it. Anakin had been harboring fears of his own, lately, and it was because he'd been struggling with his own demons Zelina had resisted spilling hers. But now...

Zelina looked up at him, unable to hold back the tears as the pressure and the threats hanging over them both finally caused her to crack.

"Anakin...I'm afraid," she whispered, choking on her words. Anakin's jaw clenched in pain, and Zelina suddenly threw her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder. Her fingers wound into his hair as she found herself sobbing against his chest, leaning into him for stability. Anakin didn't hesitate to wrap his arms tightly around Zelina, holding her firmly to him as she cried, supporting her when her strength waned until she could hardly stand. She felt his chin tuck into the curve of her neck and shoulder as he leaned his head against hers, pulling her as close to him as he could manage.

He didn't say anything, or even move—he held to her just as tightly and let her cry as much as she needed to.

**********************************************

By the time Zelina managed to stop her tears, Anakin's back was aching from leaning over her with his hug, though he'd thankfully managed to get her back to a sitting position on the fountain. She'd calmed considerably by now, with the two sitting side by side, Anakin's arm around Zelina comfortingly while Zelina rested her head on his shoulder and stared forlornly at nothing.

Anakin glanced down at her, worry clenching in his gut not for the first time simply tonight for his friend.

Her ramblings about how she was afraid she was going to die were going to be haunting him for months.

"Zee, we really need to talk," he said softly.

That's the understatement of our lives, some snide voice said in the back of his mind. He swiftly shut it up so he could focus on Zelina.

"Didn't you just tell me to stop talking? Since I went a little on the rambling side of things," Zelina murmured.

"That's not what I mean," Anakin said firmly, holding her a little tighter out of protectiveness. "Zelina, we haven't talked in a long time. We've talked plenty about me and what's going on with me, but I can't even remember the last time we sat down and had a long, serious conversation about you. After that...I'm not letting you leave this room until we've talked. You have far more on your mind than you've been leading me to believe, and I want to know what's really going on with you before I do anything else."

Zelina was quite for a few moments, her mood dipping lower and lower as she focused on whatever was stirring in her mind. "I don't know where you want me to start."

"You've been different for months, now, before we even came back to Coruscant. Why don't we start there?"

Another silence, this time a thoughtful one as Zelina considered what she wanted to say.

"I'm not a Jedi anymore."

Anakin froze, his hand on her arm as the possible follow-ups to that statement flashed across his mind. Not a Jedi? When he'd asked her near the start of the war if she had any regrets about becoming a Jedi, she'd said she had none. Now she was saying she wasn't even a Jedi? She wasn't a Sith, she was too...too...Zelina to be a Sith. Not to mention, she was still in the Order, which meant she was still a Jedi. Yes, she'd changed, and he'd noticed there'd been a clear change, but she hadn't changed that much...had she?

"What do you mean?" Anakin finally managed to ask, his confusion painfully obvious in his voice.

"I lost faith in the Council after what happened to Ahsoka. It was kind of my last straw. Couple that with the turn my actions and way of thinking has turned, recently, I guess you could say I've gone Grey," Zelina said softly, as if she was afraid some late-night Jedi prowler would overhear and run off to report her. "There's just too much I've come to disagree with, or see differently. I accept my demons instead of deny them, and...well, I don't always do things in a particularly Jedi way."

Anakin wasn't sure how he wanted to take this news. His heart had picked up its pace, different reactions rolling through his mind as liable options for how to take her news, but he didn't seem capable of settling on one. That ever-present anger of his was trying to creep up, though, among the confusion and a slight sense of betrayal or hurt that she'd keep such a thing from him.

Then again, he had just admitted that they'd talked so much about him recently they'd hardly talked about her. He had no right to feel betrayed about not knowing something that was going on with her, did he?

"Then why have you stayed?" he asked.

"You," was her immediate reply, and before Anakin's imagination could take that simple reply and run wild, she expanded. "Obi-Wan. The fact that I can do more good in the Order than trying to operate outside of it. In the Order, I'm in a leadership position, I'm fighting on the frontlines, I'm over my men, and these soldiers need good leaders that actually care about them and think of them as something more than just disposable numbers...though I guess now, even if I decided to leave, I couldn't. Ironic how now I have to stay if I want to stay safe from the Republic I've been fighting so hard to defend."

Anakin sighed, the sound long and low. "It's gotten that bad, then?"

Zelina had regained enough of herself she was able to give him a look. "Anakin, I just had a thermal detonator thrown at my face by a civilian—yes, it's gotten that bad."

"Well, at least it can't get much worse?"

"Your attempt at optimism is terrible. It can get a lot worse, Anakin. They Council could finally decide that protecting me is proving more trouble than its worth and turn me over to the Republic. Obi-Wan's not here to vouch for me now, it could happen. If they do turn me over, it'd also be a death sentence, at this rate. The public won't have it any other way—they want my head on a spike."

"Don't talk like this," Anakin said in a soft, pained tone. Hearing her talk so bleakly, saying there was an inevitability that she was going to die...

It hurt him just as deeply as the thought that Padme might die soon.

"But it's true, Anakin. That's where I am right now." Zelina turned so she could look him in the eyes. "I actually have escape plans—that's how bad things are. I've thought of several escape plans of what I can do if the Council decides to hand me over."

Anakin leaned back. "You're going to run?"

"If I have to. This isn't the same as Ahsoka, Anakin. There's no real criminal behind it all to catch. They just want me dead, and they'll sentence me for hearsay. You can't bring gossipers to take the sentence for me. If I'm turned over, that's it. So yes...I've thought of escape plans for if this reaches that point."

"Zelina, you can't leave," Anakin said softly. What about him? What about Luke? What about Padme? If Zelina left, there went Anakin's closest friend and greatest support. There went Luke's teacher. There went the person who had been studying to save Padme all this time.

Zelina reached up and squeezed his hand. "I'm still here, aren't I? I said I would run if the Council tries to turn me over...I never said I'd abandon you."

Anakin's heart clenched as he stared at Zelina, noting the resignation on her face.

But what will happen to you? If you're caught...

Anakin tried desperately not to think of the firing squad and Gambit.

I have to do something. I can't let her die, especially not like this.