ONE DAY UNTIL the wedding, and Irina felt like she couldn't breathe. Actually, less than that. Around half a day, with the ceremony occurring in the afternoon, during the ji shi, the auspicious time.

  She had one last thing to do before tomorrow. And it had to happen tonight.

  Myrina.

  The knock on the door was soft, but still loud enough to clearly hear. She'd known Myrina would come through sooner or later, truth be told, so she'd almost expected it when Myrina had quietly approached her earlier and told her she could spare some time to discuss their problems tonight.

  It was their last chance, in a way. Of course, they could have this conversation in Arecia, but Irina rather thought it wouldn't feel the same. This was where they started, this was where they should end this.

  "Come in," Irina said, swinging her legs down onto the floor. "I was wondering when you'd come."

  Myrina pushed the sliding door open and stepped in. "Apologies, I was a bit... preoccupied. With the wedding tomorrow, there has been a lot to do. And, well, Lady Katharine's situation."

  "How is it?" Irina asked. "I didn't receive any updates."

  "She'll be fine. Prince Frederick went to talk to her, begged her not to try anything like that again. She's stable now, but we're watching her carefully. She leaves first thing tomorrow morning, the carriage and ship for the voyage are ready and waiting." Myrina's eyes opened as she finished giving her brief report. "You're certain you want the Arecians to handle her?"

  "I'm to become an Arecian soon, technically speaking."

  "Ah, of course." Myrina's eyes rolled. "I assume you telling them that you won't interfere is a lie, then?"

  "If they let her go scot free, then I'll have to take action. If the punishment's fine, it's in their hands." Irina scratched her shoulder. "I'm sure they got the hidden message."

  "Well, then I can stop worrying about that." Myrina wiped her brow. Wo mang le yi zheng tian le." I've been working the whole day.

  Irina raised her chin. " I appreciate all the work you've been putting into this. You've been the best person to organise all of this."

  "I'm glad you have so much faith in me." Courtesies, courtesies. Once upon a time they wouldn't have spoken to each other like this. Myrina had always been formal but not like this. This was how strangers talked, and Irina didn't like that. "I won't let you down. Tomorrow will be a day recorded in the history books."

  "For various reasons, I suppose." Irina rubbed her brow. "Miss Valeria is going to be a bit annoying to deal with. Just a bit. It's going to be difficult to explain that some of the Vayanteans are taking this a bit too extreme without making it seem like we're blaming the victim."

  Myrina raised one brow. "Well, you won't have to worry about it anymore."

  "Even though I am to become an Arecian bride, well, this issue does affect them as well. And I was the person who they tried to kill. Many times. I think I'll still have a hand in how this continues." Irina gave Myrina a curious stare. "But that's not what we're here to discuss."

  "I dislike," Myrina drawled slowly, "how much you make this sound like a business meeting."

  Irina lowered her head, dropping her gaze. "You know I'm bad with this sort of thing."

  "This sort of thing?" Myrina prodded, her brows crossing as she pulled a stool from the table in the centre of the room and sat down. Irina remained sitting on her bed, staring down at her bare toes on the cool ground.

  "Emotions. Admitting I've made mistakes. People talk. I'm a girl of politics and business, Myrina, not the fragile side of us."

  "You don't understand it. You're capable of disregarding it completely, and so you assume the rest of us can do the same. That we're all great enough to sacrifice everything we stand for in order to achieve the greater good. We can't." Myrina pulled her fingers through her half-down hair before gently rubbing her forehead. "I'm sorry I exploded on you. It was unnecessary."

  "No, it was. You had to let all that pent-up frustration out one way or another. It was about time anyways."

  "It's just..." Myrina placed her hands to the side, "I always didn't let myself think about it. But then I started doing that, you know, think about it, and you asked me to take care of Ryan and help him out and I heard what he said and it just... it just got too much. Because the truth is that no one knows why you keep me around."

  They both knew. Myrina was wiccai. She could create portals and teleport from place to place with ease. In day to day life it was a convenience—Myrina could easily move around the city passing on messages, taking far less time than it would anyone else. But it was also a safety net. Irina usually had Justine as a guard around, but Justine wasn't glued to her twenty-four seven. Myrina basically was. And she could easily pull Irina out of danger too shall it strike.

  Not that it had so far worked particularly well, considering recent events.

  "You and Ryan... I never understood why you two despised each other so."

  "He thinks I'm weak," Myrina said bluntly. "Perhaps I am. To him, I represent everything he hates and dislikes. He disapproves of you keeping me around because he doesn't fully trust me. And he doesn't respect my devotion to Hongyun."

  Irina winced at the final statement. "He used to be extremely religious, you know."

  "I do," Myrina said, raising her chin. "That was when I first met him. We got along quite well then. I remember a few nice conversations about the myths of Hongyun and the many gods of the Celestial Sky. And then something in him snapped."

  "His friend died," Irina recalled. "To the plague. It was like someone changed him completely. His beliefs, personality, snap and changed. Just like that. It was odd, for a little while."

  "I didn't interact with him much after that. We'd never been close." Myrina smoothed her gown, still not quite meeting Irina's eye. "And the next time we truly talked was after the Court of Herons and Cranes."

  A sad little smile appeared on Irina's face. "I missed those years."

  "I don't," Myrina responded curtly. "I was too busy languishing in self-pity and wallowing in my lack of self-confidence, vying for the life taken away from me." A cool look at the person who caused it, of course, and this time Irina didn't flinch, didn't turn away. Faced it head on. Myrina's gaze didn't shift either.

  This had to be done. Both girls knew it in the deepest parts of their hearts. For years they'd pushed it off. Tomorrow is a better day, they'd always told themselves, day after day. And now the inevitable was finally occuring.

  "You're not weak."

  "I know that," Myrina said, raising her head. "I don't need you to tell me that. I'm quiet. I'm reserved. I don't like talking to strangers. But I am not weak. If I were weak I would not be standing where I am now. I would not have achieved the things I have. My earldom would be in the hands of my lecherous uncles and aunts instead of my own. My little brother... god knows what might have happened to him if I were weak."

  "Your relatives would have used him as a pawn."

  "They are still using him as a pawn," Myrina said with a shrug. "It's just that I've taught him to know better. They're not going to be able to use him to fight me for the earldom."

  "If they did I'd have stopped it."

  "I don't need you to," Myrina scowled. "I can handle it myself. I can handle things myself, you know? There's a reason you put me in charge of so many things and it's not because I can't handle things myself."

  Myrina, in Irina's opinion, had the face of a kindly older sister. Soft, large, oxen eyes, a straight nose and rosy pink lips, she always looked so approachable, so friendly, so elegant and understanding. Scowls were not an expression often seen on Myrina Mai, at least not in public, and Irina studied her intently.

  "I know you're capable," Irina said quietly. "But it doesn't mean I still don't want to help. I can know you can handle something and still offer a helping hand."

  "If I don't want it, you don't give it. It's a simple enough rule." Myrina moved her hands onto her lap. "I'm not going to stay for long in Arecia, I don't think. I don't want to be there much in the first place."

  "That's understandable."

  Myrina tilted her head. "Maybe. I don't know. I've never done well in places I'm not familiar with. I like to stay in my comfort zone. That's another reason why Ryan doesn't like me much, I think. I'm not an adventurer."

  "You never have been. You like to stay just where you are, and you do a good job with that."

  "You don't have to keep flattering me," Myrina said flatly. "It doesn't help with anything."

  "I'm not flattering you, I'm telling the truth." Irina stood then. "I want to apologise. For basically destroying your life."

  "You didn't destroy my life, you took away the life I could have had. Different things. But I'm a pragmatic person, I've made do. Be at peace, Irina. It's all behind us now."

  "It's not. And I want to apologise for Ryan's behaviour towards you for the past few years."

  "That is something he ought to apologise for, not you for him." Myrina scratched her chin. "Though I highly doubt he ever would, all things considered. Some people just aren't meant to get along."

  That was the truth, but in Irina's head, Myrina and Ryan would always be able to put aside their differences someday. The two of them, as a team, would work excellently. Or so it worked in her mind, which she'd realised wasn't the most reliable thing in the past while. But that didn't mean she was necessarily wrong.

  She didn't voice those thoughts, though, because she was trying to change herself, trying to respect other people's opinions the same way she expected them to respect hers. It would be a steep learning curve, but it'd pay off someday. If she was to be queen someday, a queen of an entire country, she needed to learn these things quickly, to make herself the best version she could be.

  She'd been living as this version of herself for the past two decades or so, it was time to switch things up a little. All things needed change, some bigger than others.

  "Still, as his cousin, and the reason you are here, the last place you wish to be in, I ought to apologise. I know things will never be the same with us—that much was clear years ago, if I must admit, but I do appreciate your presence and assistance throughout the years greatly. I don't know where I'd be without your frequent help."

  "Anyone could have done the same thing as I did," Myrina said softly.

  "No, it had to be you. It had to be you, Myrina Mai." Irina raised her chin and stepped forward, leaning down to hold Myrina's hands. "I am sorry. And I won't make you stay here after I'm gone if you don't want to. You're free to do what you want. You're too old for the priestess initiation now, but you can still act on your devotion to Hongyun if you wish to."

  Myrina shook her head. "That was a childhood dream. It's impossible now, and I will not push it. I'm staying."

  "In the Palace?" Irina asked, scrunching her brows together. "I thought you wanted to..."

  "I've been here for so long already, it would be difficult to move away from it." She stared down where Irina's hands held hers, but she did not pull away. "For better or for worse, this is my life now, and there is nothing I can do about it."

  There didn't seem like there was anything to say but, "I'm sorry."

  Myrina shook her head once more. "Stop repeating that. It's pointless. Apologies are pointless. Especially for things that happened so long ago in the past. What matters now? What matters now is how we continue."

  Irina looked away, out of the window, to a view that would soon become memory. "The wedding's tomorrow."

  "Are you ready?"

  "I think so," Irina said. "I've fought against it for so long and now I've just accepted it. Is it not ironic?"

  Myrina lifted a shoulder. "I think you'd accepted it from the start. You just didn't want to show it."

   "Maybe," Irina grimaced. "I don't know, to be honest. I'm not sure. But it won't be as bad as I thought, I think. I'll make do. It'll  be different, but it's a fresh new start. And one I can shape into however I want."

  "It's been a wild ride, has it not been?"

  Irina nodded. "The wildest of them, I think. We're children who grow up in a strange time."

  Myrina threw her head back and laughed. "They always say that children who grew up in war are... different. We are very different, are we not?"

  "I could not tell."

  "I can," Myrina said, a low flame flickering in her gaze. It was bitter, angry, sad, but nonetheless... hopeful. The way she'd always been. Because even if the world collapsed around her Myrina Mai would still hold out hope. That was simply the way she worked. "But we've survived, pushed our way through. I hope you have the best of luck in Arecia, I really do."

  "Thank you. And I hope that... whatever you have next, whatever it may be, that you'll be alright too."

  "I will, you don't have to worry about me." Myrina leant back against the table, releasing a soft sigh. "You ought to go to bed. For the wedding."

  "I shall," Irina said with a nod. "Good night, Myrina."

  "Good night, Longyu."

  Longyu. Before they'd been Irina and Myrina, they'd been Longyu and Zimi. Young girls, a little bit off, a little bit broken, a little bit wrong. But they'd been young and they'd been innocent and they'd look at the world without worrying that it was out to get them.

  Irina missed those days. She'd be lying if she said she didn't. But at the same time...

  The door pulled shut, and Irina scrolled back to her bed and sat down, pulling her legs towards her chest. Perhaps, just perhaps, this was all for the better.

  Like Myrina always liked to think, the gods had plans for all of them.

👑

  FIVE MINUTES BEFORE the wedding began and Irina sat inside the room that had been spared for her preparation. Myrina and Asteria were arguing in a hushed tone about something. Cirinique Diao frowned over her hair and finished up the final touches. Justine had been cleared to attend the wedding, and therefore had to perform her dreaded maid of honour speech. Though that would be for the afterfeast, not for the main ceremony.

  She still had about three to four hours to prepare the speech. But the paper laid in front of her remained empty, and she glanced up from time to time, silently begging for help.

  No one offered it. But Irina was rather certain Asteria already had a speech drafted for Justine hidden somewhere, so she didn't worry about that. They'll have that figured out by the time one way or another. She had that much faith in all of them.

  Her friends had never let her down before. If anyone was ever disappointed, it was them at her.

  She hadn't realised that until recently.

  "You look perfect," Ciri fawned, patting her cheek. "Oh, you're going to dazzle everyone."

  "I always dazzle everyone," Irina deadpanned.

  "How narcissistic. But, well, you'll simply dazzle everyone more." Ciri straightened. "How long do we have left?"

  Myrina didn't look up from where she sat with Asteria. "Four minutes."

  Ciri nodded. "One of you, get over here. Am I missing anything, or is she absolutely done?"

  "With all due respect," Justine muttered, "I'm the last person to ask, and these two are too busy being mad at each other."

  "We are not mad at each other," Asteria drawled in that calm way of hers. "Just having a friendly discussion."

  "Shut it. All of you. You're going to give me a headache before this damned headpiece does."

  Ciri's eyes followed upwards to the golden crown on Irina's head before wincing. "Yeah. I get that. I wore a similar one for my wedding."

  "Not as heavy as this, I assure you."

  "Close enough." Ciri shrugged. "It was one of those things the Duchess of Dai gave me from her own jia zhuang. Except she never married, of course."

  "You look fine," Myrina said. "Irina, I mean. You're ready for this. Are you nervous?"

  "Of course I'm bloody nervous," Irina hissed. "I'm nerve-wrackingly nervous. If that's even a word."

  Ciri, who was the most proficient among them at the Arecian language, said, "It's not. Why are we speaking Arecian again? It's Irina's last proper day in Sai, we should speak Saian."

  "Ye shi," Asteria muttered. "Saian it is, then." She stood and walked over, giving Irina a proper oneover. "You've done a damned good job, Ciri."

  "I just did the finishing touches, it's the maids and stylists you have to thank, really." Ciri grinned, stretching slightly. She herself was dressed in Saian clothing today, rather than her usual western frocks. She wore a pale green qipao, the slits modest, unlike the usual way she wore them. They wrapped around her slim figure perfectly, making her seem perfectly elegant.

  Myrina, meanwhile, had opted for something more traditional. She wore pink, an underdress with the stitching of a crane, a long gown that fell from the belt around the bottom of her chest, and a silken, darker pink silk shawl over it that fell onto the ground. Her hair was simply done, a single ji holding up the half-down, half-up hairstyle. Perfectly ordinary, with nothing to truly make her stand out. Yet the simplistic outfit did little to hide her natural beauty. Her luscious dark hair and her pale skin fit the dress perfectly, as well as her soft features.

  Asteria wore a similar outfit in blue, though hers was clearly more luxurious and exuberant. The stitchings and embroideries were far more detailed, and with a pale silver thread that glimmered when the light reflected off it. She held a fan in her hand, and her hair was all pulled up in a bun with two silver ji, one with a long chain hanging down from it and a sapphire at the end.

  Her signature colours.

  Both were dressed in outfits of the same silhouette with different shades because they'd both be part of the parade walking behind Irina to the Centre Palace. They'd be right behind her. All the other ladies after them would be wearing the traditional dark blue ceremonial uniform.

  Justine was the only one not dressed in the usual Saian female frocks. Instead she wore her formal uniform, the dark green with the black, a long robe wrapped tightly with a thick belt, the medallion of a general of the Saian army proudly on display. She wore virtually no accessories save for her two arm guards, the metallic glint contrasting against the dark background. Her hair was tied up in a simple, tight bun.

  Among the well-dressed ladies, she was slightly out of place, but Justine was used to it. She wasn't one of them. Never would be. Ladies and soldiers, they simply didn't fight on the same battlefields. And Justine was only to be the maid of honour in the wedding dinner. She was not of high enough status to be in the ceremonial parade, for which they'd stuck closely to the traditions for.

  "Two minutes," Myrina announced, holding up her skirt as she moved back to where she'd sat with Asteria. "Io ought to be here to fetch you any second now."

  Irina sucked in a breath. "Let's just get this over with. I know I've said this so many times already, but my neck is about to break."

  "It would be a shame," a new voice sounded as the door to the chamber pushed ajar, and all heads except Irina's turned towards it, "if you survived all those assassination attempts from Bustillos Ramos only to die because of a too-heavy head piece."

  "On my wedding day, no less," Irina said with feigned chagrin.

  "On your wedding day," Danna said with a nod as she walked in, Cassalyn Diao and Rhys in tow behind her. "Where on earth is Io?"

  Myrina said, almost clockwork-like, "One minute."

  Danna let out a huff. "Of course. Miss Punctual. Watch her showup the second the clock ticks to the next minute."

  "Well," Asteria said with a one-shoulder shrug, "At least she'd be on time."

  "Thirty seconds."

  And they waited. Silently.

  "Ten," Myrina sighed.

  And then the door opened once more. This time, it was the girl everyone had been expecting. Iolanthe Mi, grinning from ear to ear, Naeva and Luciana in tow. "It's time to go."

  Danna said, very mildly, "You're five seconds early."

  Io's smile collapsed into a scowl. "Fuck off, Danna."

  Danna just smirked in response.

  "Alright, someone help me up." Ciri immediately offered her arm, and Irina shakily pulled herself up. "Okay. I'm ready."

  "Wouldn't know what to do if you weren't ready," Io said sarcastically. "Come on now, this way. Ryan is waiting."

  Stephen would be awaiting at the top of the Centre Palace, alongside the Emperor, the Empress and Ryan. Irina was to make her way across the central courtyard, and then up the steps until she reached the top of the Palace. It would be a painful journey, but she could manage. Probably.

  She'd managed to yesterday during the rehearsal, wearing a weight on her head. It hadn't been pleasant, but she'd managed to do it. The painful part would be the baitang, when she'd have to bow on the ground.

  But it would be okay. Everything would be okay. Valeria Bustillos Ramos was jailed, awaiting trial in Sai, Caershire and Vayante. She'd be passed on, country to country. Lady Katharine had a group of elite guards watching her every move as she's sent back to Arecia. Irina didn't have to worry about that just yet. The trial would most likely wait until after the honeymoon period anyways.

  Irina flexed her fingers. They were starting to get stiff with nervousness. She would never admit it, of course, but she did feel some... stress over being under the eye of so many people. Everyone's eyes would be on her.

  This wedding was almost three years in the making. When she was very young, she'd thought about the same things every other girl did. She'd dreamt of her fairytale prince, her perfect happily ever after. Then she'd become a princess herself, and princes started to lose their appeal.

  Perhaps this wouldn't be a happily ever after, but it was close enough.

  This was her future. And she was ready to meet it.

   So her entourage and her started making their way out of the room, following Io through the busy streets of servants bustling around to make sure everything was in place.

  Most of them paused for a split second, glancing at her, before being hushed by the silent reminders  of their duty. Irina tried her best to smile, but found herself grunting instead as she almost tripped on her gown. She instantly steadied herself. Danna casted her an amused glance, but a glower sent the woman looking away.

It was Asteria who commented on it. "Try not to trip, please? It would be such a shame if this astronomical ceremony was marred by your face smashing into the stone stairs of the Centre Palace."

Irina was extremely tempted to flash a vulgar gesture in response, but she held back the urge, swallowing as well the words that had risen to her throat. Asteria smirked, continuing to walk ahead.

  So Irina gritted out, "Where's Ryan?"

  Io answered. "Patience, please. Patience. He's right outside the Centre Palace. The guests are already filing in." Irina would have to walk down the corridor and through the gate into the Centre Palace. That was tradition. Every Empress and Princess of Sai had walked through that gate, and she would be no different.

  It was humbling, to think of herself as a long line in many.

  And then they were outside the Palace right next to the main corridor, the curtains pulled tightly shut to avoid anyone from glancing inwards. Ryan stood as Irina entered, eyes scanning her dress, the headpiece, and the fan she gripped tightly in her hand.

  "You're supposed to hold it before your face, you know," he commented with a smile. "But you look lovely, my dear. The ceremony starts very soon, get yourself ready."

  "I am ready," Irina replied. "I've been ready for the past few hours."

  "Well, then get more ready."

  "I doubt I can," Irina replied bitingly.

  "In less than an hour," Ryan murmured, walking forward, not quite touching her but still smoothing the fabric on her shoulders, "you will be a married woman. Technically speaking, you will no longer be a member of the House of Gu."

  "Thank you, I realised."

  Ryan coughed. "What I'm trying to say is that you need to be careful in Arecia and be good with Prince Stephen. Get along with him, try to stay calm, try not to do anything drastic. You're there for an alliance, not to ruin the entire kingdom."

  "I have no interest in destroying Arecia, you very much overestimate my power, cousin." He was joking, of course, but still. Just in case anyone took it seriously, or if some Arecian was listening. They had their spies too. Good spies. Cirinique Diao would know.

  "Well, that's all well and good," Ryan said with a smile. "And now we wait."

  Everyone started grouping up again, deciding what they were going to do tonight or tomorrow or in the next five minutes. Io left to get more instructions so that she could fetch Irina when needed, and Irina found herself being faced with Cirinique Diao again, who gave her one last head-to-toe scan.

  "I'm just making sure," she said with a roll of her eyes when Irina swatted her hand away. "This has to be perfect."

  So she keeps being told. It was starting to get tiring now. Everyone wanted everything to be perfect, absolutely flawless. And for once, Irina was getting annoyed over that.

   That was rare. But then again, she supposed she'd always been the one asking perfection from others, not the one trying to achieve it herself. The advantages of having so many people under you to do your dirty work, she supposed.

  But still.

  She was changing now. That was one of those mindsets that had to go. What she would not ask for herself, she would not ask for others. One of her new goals. She'd try her best to achieve it.

  Io popped her head in then, glancing around the room. "It's time."

  Irina turned first. Asteria and Myrina walked towards the door, everyone else stayed behind. They'd be going to the audience stands, or to the Centre Palace in the case of Ryan.

  Her, she was going the long way.

  It passed in a blur—everyone getting into position the way they'd be taught to do so in the rehearsals. It was silent, as Irina wordlessly raised the fan before her face. She wore no veil—that would be for the dinner, at least the first part. Her arm trembled slightly. She shook it out.

  She felt Myrina and Asteria flanking her, silent sentinels. These girls, they'd been with her for so many years. They'd worked as a team, had their arguments, had their fights. And here they were now. The people in the parade, giving her away.

  The weight on her head suddenly felt insignificant compared to what was going to happen.

  Marriage.

  She wondered how Stephen felt right now, knowing that one of his closest friends was in prison and had just tried to commit suicide. That barely a city away, red lanterns adorned every corner of the sky and the sound of drums deafened the anticipating guests.

  She was scared. She admitted it, for once in her life. She was terrified. Once she walked through those gates, those looming gates in the distance, it was the start of a new life. Everything would be different, nothing would ever be the same ever again.

  She felt Myrina's hand tap on her shoulder. She turned her head quizzically, and the other girl just offered a small, mysterious little smile, as if she knew exactly what was in Irina's mind at the moment.

  Irina smiled back.

  Whatever was in store in Arecia, she was ready.

THE END.